I do not have a knighthood, although my brother has threatened me with one on several occasions.

Wow! What for? :O

The last one was for solving a particularly difficult triple murder and finding each of the bodies.

Haha!

What?

Good joke ;)

Not a joke. Why would you think it was a joke?

What really?! I mean how?! Isn't that stuff for the police!

The police are always out of their depths.
But your 16! How did you manage to find the bodies and solve it all!

Deduction.

Well that's cool I guess! Like a private detective ;)

A Consulting Detective.

Huh? Never heard of that! :)

Created the job myself. Only one in the world.

Aha! So is that what you want to do when you're older? ;)

Its what I do now.

Oh okay :) I want to be a doctor in the army maybe :)

Doctor John. Interesting I would have thought because you excel in sports you would have chosen that line of work.

Doctor Watson does have a nice ring to it :P and I have given up being surprised at how you know stuff :) I am captain of my rugby team so I am good at it but I guess I have just always preferred medicine to sports gotta know how to heal the injuries you make! ;)

Can't talk now. My brother is glaring at me for texting, and I need his help accessing police files for a murder inquiry.

Oh okay ;) of course you do :) just don't get caught hacking into policey stuff :P

I never get caught.

Good ;)

Policey? That word doesn't exist.

And invention of my own ;) not like you're not guilty of that :P anyway I thought you couldn't talk?

I can't, but I have mastered the technique of typing without looking.

Handy that ;)

30th January

Hi what you up to :)

Solving a case about a missing diamond.

Ooh exciting! :)

Yes. Thrilling.

What you doing now? ;)

Found the missing diamond. It was the sister who took it.

Wow coolio! Good job ;)

Coolio? I assume it is a "john way" of saying the word cool?

Yeppp you're right there ;)

1st February

Pinch punch first day of the month and no returns! ;)

I do not understand.

Oh its just that thing you know that you did when you were a kid to each other at the start of the month ;)

I never did this as a child.

Nope I guess not ;) what did you do to entertain the six year old you then? :)

Experimented.

What kind of experiments? ;)

Everything.

Liiiike?...

For example I did an experiment when I was six that measured the weight of different species of frogs brains.

Ewww! Frog brains! Why?!

It is necessary to acquire as much data as possible when in my field of work.

And I guess you started young then? ;)

Obviously.

Your weird you know that?

I have been informed of the so called "weird" nature of my personality.

Yeah...but I mean a good weird :)

Is there such a thing?

Yeah! Oh course there is! :)

Sooo, what you up to now? :)

Being stared at.

Whatt?

In my lesson at school.

You are at school? But its Saturday!

Yes. Very observant John.

Ohhh public school?

Yes.

Sooo why you being stared at?

I merely corrected the teacher.

Haha! Wow were you right?

Yes.

What did he say?

He has sent me out of the room.

Aww bad luck! :(

10pm:

Heyyjhds shetrlcokd!hj

Hello John.

I amndb likle a kingf of the woirld!

John. Are you drunk?

Yeska I dreank tooo muchhh! Toooo much and nows imd nOotr feelllinbg too goooodddd!

Maybe you should go home John.

Niooooo,! Itrs toor miuch funn!

Fine just try not to walk into a road or anything similar.

Ikm okayyyuy! I willlll be fine youure being sso niceds! I'm cryrying sherlcolk whyyy is nobody ewlse nicegf to meee!? :((((((

John I would strongly advise you to go home.

Okayyys I wilel goo hommee!