Roadside divergent ch. 2
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
…...
Where the hell is Dipper!? Thinks Stan frantically. The worlds biggest ball of yarn was ready to be unwound! They needed to get out of here before Sweetkins gets wise!
He gets an unexplainable urge to look in a nearby bush...where his naked nephew is looking down on an equally naked tour girl in horror. Stan looks at this sight in horror! The girl was unconscious! Dipper was crying! "I...I don't know what came over me!" Admits an ashamed Dipper. One moment he'd been trying to flirt...the next they were attacking each other hungrily!
Suddenly hearing Sweetkins angry scream; shocked Stan back to earth. Resolving to figure this out later; he grabs Dipper and runs him to the R.V...
(Mal's Whistle-song plays)
After everyone has left. Slenderman(invisible to all) whistles malevolently as he makes some 'adjustments' to the girl before she wakes...
…...
Dipper walks into Upside-Down town awkwardly. After a long, awkward talk with Stan...they'd decided to chalk the whole thing to usual 'Gravity Falls weirdness'. And try to forget it happened. Dipper felt bad about the whole thing and wanted to try to contact the girl. But Stan forbid it.
Look kid...Woman can be...'unpredictable' when it comes to this sort of thing...we believe in 'weirdness'...a jury will only believe 'rape'...Which is why were not going to mention this to the girls either...
So against Dipper better judgment, he went along with Stans advice. He bumps into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry-
The instant Dipper saw Emma Sue, he stopped talking...and they both got 'busy'.
(Mal's whistle)
Slenderman whistles as he conceals the two young lovers from prying eyes...until he 'influences' an increasingly mortified Stan to this location...
…...
Needles to say, Stan and Dipper agreed it would be best if Dipper stayed in the RV for the rest of the trip. Dipper sighed. So much for getting over Wendy. Thinks Dipper mournfully as he lounges on the chair-
BUG SPRAY!
CRASH!
Dipper looked in amazement as a hobo wearing a tinfoil-hat threw a can of bug-spray through the window. Within moments, the RV was filled with noxious smoke. Dipper gagged as he was forced to flee to the outside-
SMACK!
Where he crashed right into a corn-maze girl. Oh, no. Thought Dipper as their urges once more took over-
(Mal's whistle)
A nearby homeless man whistled as he reverted back to Slenderman...
…...
"Uh, Grunkle Stan? Why are you chaining and boarding up the RV?" Asks Mabel. Stan panics. "Uh...Non-specific excuse!" He shouts.
He turns to Log Land and begins to walk toward it. "Alright, now we have to be quick-
SPLASH!
Stan doesn't even bother to turn around. He just rubs his face and sighs. "Okay...new plan. I'm going to go find Dipper...and then were getting out of here and cutting the trip short."
Stan ignores the girls cries of confusion and unfairness as he searches for his now missing nephew...only to find him sobbing hysterically over an unconscious, naked Log Land girl.
(Mal's Whistle)
"Oops, clumsy me!" Said Slenderman innocently...
…...
Stan and Dipper were officially freaking out! They'd been driving for a whole day; but all the roads refused to take them back home! Only to Mystery Mountain! Stan groaned. "Sorry kid...but this place was going to be my last stop originally...maybe if we go there we'll be able to get home afterwards?" Theorized Stan hopefully.
Not having a better option, Dipper was forced to agree. Okay...think positive Dipper...so you sleep with maybe one more tourist girl?...as bad as that is...I'll never see them again! That's the great thing about roadtrips...right? Thinks Dipper frantically.
…...
Mabel was not having a great time. Not only had their fun trip been cut short, but Dipper hadn't moved on yet! It seemed like he hadn't even tried! Well, she'd fix that! She'd-
Wait...didn't I do something similar like this in a bunker?...and with love potions?...and didn't that end badly? Ponders Mabel thoughtfully...
(Mal's Whistle)
Slenderman chuckles as he pours liquidized Aesop Amnesia onto the oblivious girls head...
…...
Wait...what was I thinking about...whatever, never mind. Back to meddling with Dippers love life! She then has a long talk with an eager Candy...
…...
"Question. The back seat makes me car sick. Can I sit up front today?" Asks Mabel suddenly. "Also question. I'm the size of two people. Can I have a whole seat to myself?" Asks Grenda quickly.
Stan shrugs and is about to say yes. Before Dipper quickly whispers to him. "Grunkle Stan, don't! That'll put me alone with Candy!" He says frantically.
Stan's eyes widened, but nodded. They couldn't afford to take any chances there! "Sorry Mabel, but no. Dippers staying in the front seat for the rest of the trip." Mabel is about to object- "I know that's not fair, but I promise I'll make it up to you if- When we get home! End of discussion!" Interrupted Stan.
Mabel's eyes narrowed. We'll see about that...
…...
"Uh, Mabel? I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this." Admitted Grenda as they broke through the chains of both the RV and a sleeping Dipper(Mabel having drugged his soda).
"Suck it up Grenda! Were making love happen!" Shouted Mabel as they dragged Dipper into a cave where an equally uncomfortable Candy waited, then locked them both in.
They walk back to the parking lot discussing potential baby names for the 'new power couple'.
"Oh! Maybe it'll be something inspired by his pine tree hat!" Shouted Grenda. "I'm sorry did you say Pine Tree hat?" They turned to see a girl walking toward them. "We talking a blue hat, he's about yeah big, shorts and vest?"
"Yeah, that's Dipper!" Says Mabel. "Why, do you know him?" She asks curiously Emma Sue glares down at her now bloated stomach. "Yeah, you could say that." She says darkly. Meanwhile, several other girls with similar 'afflictions'. Overhear the conversation and begin to gather.
…...
Candy looked at Dipper confused as he clawed at the exit and begged her to stay away. Candy stepped forward. "Dipper what's wrong- She stopped talking...The rest...was silence...
…...
Mabel looked at the collection of girls horrified. "What!? NO! You have the wrong guy! Dipper would never do that!" "Prove it!". Shouts a girl. Mabel nods. "Fine! I'll take you to him right now to sort this out! There's not a single doubt in my mind he's not the guy your after!" Shouts Mabel sincerely...
…...
"Oh, no! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! What have I done!?" Shouts a horrified, naked Dipper. As he stares down at a naked, unconscious Candy.
Dipper backs away in shame, sobbing hysterically. "How am I going to explain this to Mabel!?" He shouts frantically as he turns around-
FREEZE!
And time literally froze. Slenderman looked around. Dipper was about to turn around naked to face a horde of angry woman and one heartbroken Mabel.
"Huh, this is a pretty heartbreaking, traumatic moment...I should probably leave well enough alone...NOT!
(Mal's Whistle)
Slenderman messes with space-time to not only make past Dippers wang shrink from average to abnormally small...but also makes it so that Dipper never noticed this before until this very moment!
Slenderman then laughs maniacally as he shrinks the wangs of a thousand more AU Dippers and pops a 5 year-old Mable's balloon and drinks her ensuing tears...
UNFREEZE!
"D-Dipper?" Asks a sobbing Mabel. "W-why are you naked? W-what did you do to Candy?"
A mortified, shamed, and sobbing Dipper just covers himself and stammers as Slenderman laughs unseen at the whole thing...
…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Right so whenever your annoyed at me making Dipper 'small', blame Slenderman! He's responsible!
…...Actually...Don't blame him, he'll kill you horribly while you sleep...Better just Flame me, it's safer.
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