"What do you mean, we had too long of a commercial break?" Emiri screamed into her phone, "It ran us into next year! Ugh! Screwed by the network, I say!"
"Ms. Kimidori?" The cameraman spoke, "We're rolling."
"Oh. Sorry, everyone," Emiri waved her hand at the audience, "Network forgot we were running, so we kinda got lost. Anyway, we've gotten some evidence that supports our theory of Ryoko Asakura being the murderer."
We cut to a childishly-drawn picture of Kyon being stabbed by Asakura.
We cut AGAIN to a robot with glowing ears.
WHEELJACK – GIANT ROBOT, FAILED INVENTOR, SKEPTIC
"It's a fake!" Wheeljack points out.
Emiri rolls her eyes, seeing that fact quite obviously.
"Well, we have no further evidence as to support the idea of-" *Ring Ring* "Wait, it appears we're getting a call in."
Answering the phone, Emiri sighed.
"Hello, this is the Unsolved Mysteries Hotline," Emiri spoke, "State your mystery and name, please!"
"It's me."
"I'm sorry, who is this?" Emiri raised an eyebrow.
"You know who."
"Well, the phone's toning your voice, so I don't know…"
"It's me. Kyon."
The connection was cut.
"Well… that was weird. Anybody else have an opinion?"
"That phonecall was TOTALLY fake!" Wheeljack replied.
"You're not even in this franchise! Why are you here?" Emiri replied.
"Huh, never thought of that," Wheeljack left.
"Okay, so, we don't-"
That's when the door slammed open, revealing non other then…
"Kyon?" Emiri screamed, "You're alive?"
"Yep, and Asakura did TRY and murder me. Nagato got in the way."
"Good to know!" Emiri smirked, "Now, I can officially say that this mystery has been solved. Next episode, we solve the mysterious organization called NERV!"
"And when will that be?" Kyon asked.
"Heck, I dunno." Emiri replied, "It may be a whole other fic."
"Yare Yare."
New Chapter Next Week – "NERV – Saviours or Destroyers?"
