New chapter!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just Alana
Chapter Two: My Job
"The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you when you weren't very lovable."
Perhaps against her better judgement, Alana ended up wordlessly letting Clint Barton come into her house. That choice had been made ten minutes ago and now the two sat in awkward silence in her living room.
The shotgun was still by her side, not making Clint feel very welcome in his former charge's home. The archer's eyes roamed over her as she sat across from him. Alana sat on the couch in jeans and a gray t-shirt, her skin tanned and hair pulled back, away from her scarred face. Without the jacket more scars were visible, as were the burn marks she sustained in Sokovia. The carnage left behind from the burns covered most of her right bicep, small scars covering both arms. When Clint's gaze made its way back up to her face, he was met with narrowed russet eyes.
Her thin lips twisted off to the side for a moment before she opened her mouth, "How'd you find me?" It had been years since Clint Barton had heard her voice.
The archer shrugged, his hand reaching out as Delta made his way over to the man. The dog still remembered Clint, his tail wagging now as he was scratched behind his left ear. Delta's mouth opened, a grin seeming to spread across the dog's face as his tongue lolled out the side of his mouth.
Alana scowled at her dog.
Traitor.
"Luck." Was Clint's flippant response, causing Alana to roll her eyes at him. The archer held up his hands, much to Delta's disappointment. "Really, all I was doing was gettin' groceries." She still didn't believe him, "I left S.H.I.E.L.D years ago, just like I'd always planned."
She knew he was telling the truth in that regard. Alana let out a very unladylike grunt at his words, Clint laughing softly at her, "Pretty sound there, 'Lana." She couldn't remember the last time anyone called her 'Lana, but the retort rolled off her tongue easily just the same, covering her surprise.
"I've been skipping my weekly etiquette lessons." She deadpanned, folding her arms over her chest with a scowl. Clint leaned forwards, elbows on his knee.
She knew he was getting serious now.
"Where have you been?" Clint sounded almost betrayed, and in a way Alana figured that's exactly what she had done to him. To all of them, really. "I saw you next to Cap on the lifeboats leaving Sokovia and right when we landed," He shook his head, the exact details having faded away over time, "But then you were gone." Clint looked up at Alana to see her face covered in a passive façade. The archer's hands wrung together, his knuckles turning white. "At first, we thought you just needed to be alone," Sympathy shone bright in his eyes and Alana looked away, her pale lips pulling downwards, "Then days passed and you didn't contact any of us. We thought you'd at least contact Bucky, give him some peace of mind that you were okay."
Alana's mind went haywire the moment Bucky's name was mentioned. Flooded with flashes of the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. His brilliant blue eyes that seemed to be the floodgates to his soul. She could practically read his thoughts through his eyes alone. She thought of his voice, the deep baritone tones that she heard in her dreams. His charm, his wit, his whole aura that her heart ached so deeply for each day and her brain refused to follow.
He deserved better. Not her. She was just a waste of oxygen. A cowardly waste that didn't even have enough strength to kill herself.
She missed his touch, his words, his simple company.
Alana missed a lot of things that she would no longer allow herself to have.
"Alana?" Clint watched as Alana seemed faded into a world all her own. Slowly he stood up, making his way over to her and gently placing a hand on her knee.
In the next moment a resounding smack filled the room in the form of the distinct sound of skin colliding with skin as Alana's hand slapped Clint Barton across the face. It had been a fist, but she caught herself at the last possible second. "What the fuck did yah touch me for!?" Alana cried out, hints of fear lacing her words, "I could've hurt you!"
In those four words Clint Barton understood why she was living alone. Why she cut herself off from everyone.
Clint Barton knew that Alana would hate him for what he was doing. That was the understatement of the year. If she knew what he was doing, she would've killed him so that he could never leave her house.
As it was he was praying she wasn't packing her bags and making a run for it while he was gone.
Clint's fingers scrolled through the contacts in his phone, pausing over one name in particular. She was going to kill him when she found out, pummel him to a pulp and put him in the ground. Clint sighed, it was for her own good.
Pressing call he brought his cell phone to his ear, listening as the dial tone sounded repeatedly over and over again. "C'mon, c'mon pick up, pick up." The archer's foot tapped repeatedly as he leaned against the hood of his truck in the corner store parking lot.
"Barton?!" Clint rolled his eyes at the disbelieving greeting he got from his friend.
"Wow," Clint grinned, sarcasm lacing his words "Great hearing from you too Cap, I'm great thanks for asking." There was a laugh on the other end of the line as Steve ran a hand through his blonde hair.
"Sorry, Clint, just surprised is all. Haven't heard from you in a while." He paused and Clint heard his footsteps in the background, then the sound of a door closing. "How's the family?"
A smile played on Clint's lips, "They're good, really good."
Steve chuckled again, "I feel like there's a 'but' coming on."
Clint shrugged, "But that's not why I called…" Steve stayed silent on the other end of the line, waiting for Clint to continue. The archer wasn't sure how to tell Steve, so he figured he'd just get it out there. "I found Alana."
It was the twentieth of June and Alana found herself sitting in an Adirondack chair on her front porch, simply looking out over the mountains. They always made her feel so small.
She liked that.
She did miss Boston though. Missed the hustle and bustle of the city. The tall skyscrapers and the Boston Common. Alana had thought of going back, buying a little place above a store and starting over. But Delta needed room to run, and Boston was the first place anyone would look for her. There was more of a risk that she would run into someone she knew.
Alana couldn't risk running into an old friend, lest they tell her family. A family who still thought she was dead. She missed them, but knew it was better this way. Easier for her and for them.
As the breeze picked up she tilted her head back, letting a small smile tug at her lips at the feeling. Delta lay at her feet, his head resting on his black paws. His ears perked up as she started humming softly, his tail wagging slightly as well.
On simple days like these, she was happy.
Alana ran a hand through her long hair, brushing it back away from her face before she let her eyes slip closed, her muscles slowly relaxing just a fraction. Even though she hadn't formally trained in four years she was still fit. She went for runs, she chopped wood for her fireplace and did repairs around the house.
Modified genetics also helped keep her fit. She didn't know if she was physically capable of losing the muscle she had.
Those thoughts drifted to the back of her mind as she let out a breath, relaxing even more into the chair.
An hour later she woke up to Delta barking. Her head snapped up, glancing down at the dog whose hackles were raised for the second time that week. Clint had left just three days ago with the promise to keep her location a secret. Alana had known she shouldn't have trusted the former archer.
She still didn't hear anything though and she let Delta bound out into the front yard, barking two more times before coming to a halt. "What is it, boy?" Alana wondered aloud, her mouth settling into a thin line a moment later when she heard it as well. "For fuck's sake."
She was going to kill Clint.
The sound of a motorcycle engine roared through the woods, very clearly headed towards her small home. It rounded the corner a moment later, the broad shouldered blonde riding it very clearly being Steven Grant Rogers.
Delta barked again and Alana let out a sharp whistle. The dog's head swung around to look at her, his ears pricked. She laid her hand flat by her side and he turned, trotting over to her and lying down. "Stay." Her command was firm and she left the dog there, walking down the front steps and across the yard as Steve parked his motorcycle by her truck.
Looking up, he paused. Alana stood in the middle of her yard, arms crossed over her chest as she stared at him. She was still strong, he could see the defined muscles in her arms and legs from where he sat on the bike. Her hair had grown out and darkened, falling in slight waves over her left shoulder. Though even from afar, she looked like a soldier.
It was the way she stood, spine straight and shoulders back. At attention and ready to move should she need to.
Taking in a breath Steve turned around, grabbing a hold of the strap of his gym bag before dismounting the bike. He had packed some clothes, hoping to be able and spend a few days with her.
He had told Bucky he was going out on a mission. Hadn't told his best friend that Clint had found Alana.
Steve wanted to see how she was for himself first.
He swung his bag over his shoulder, Alana eyeing it carefully as he made his way over. Despite himself, a large smile stretched across the Captain's face. Alana raised an eyebrow, "Well, if it isn't Mr. All-American himself." Steve wasn't sure if she meant for her tone to be joking or not, if it was then she failed miserably.
Steve shifted awkwardly, holding out his hand. "You've been hard to find." Alana eyed it warily and Steve's hand dropped to his side.
"That's the point when you don't wanna be found." She had to tip her head up to look him in the eye, making eye contact with him, her gaze softened slightly.
Steve Rogers would always hold a special place in her heart. Being the one to reintegrate him into society nearly seven years ago Alana had grown to be fiercely protective of him. She often worried about whether he was alright out in the world. "You look older." She told him, noticing more wrinkles on his face then there had been before. His laugh lines were more ingrained, that made her happy.
"So do you." Alana Mercer didn't look a helluva lot older than her true thirty-one years, but her eyes made her look ages older. The haunting gleam that swam there practically told a story all their own, as did her scars and burn marks.
The two stood in silence for a few awkward moments, Steve rubbing the back of his neck and not knowing what to say. "You still can't talk to girls, can you?" Her light attempt at teasing him made him grin and Steve shook his head.
"There's a million things I wanna ask you, just don't know where to start."
"Start by coming inside," She invited, shocking Steve at how well she seemed to be doing. "It'll get cold soon." He grinned down at her, walking to follow her toward the steps.
Delta still was watching from the porch, the dog's butt moving side to side on the wood as he recognized the super soldier from when he was younger. Alana rolled her eyes, flicking her wrist in a movement Steve almost missed. It released Delta from his spot, the ninety-pound dog running over and jumping around the blonde man. Steve beamed, crouching down to pet Delta. "Holy shit, he's huge!"
"Watch your language there, soldier." Steve rolled his eyes at her, burying his hands in Delta's short coat. "Turned five two months ago."
"Aw, you're almost as old as me, buddy!" Alana's lips tugged up slightly as Steve teased her dog.
She let out a bark of a laugh, "You're a hundred this year." She pointed out.
"Yeah, Stark reminds me almost every day." Alana went quiet at the mention of Tony. Steve seemed to pick up on the change in her demeanor. "Hey," Steve stood up, his voice softer as Alana seemed to stare blankly ahead now. "You wanna head inside?" She didn't move, "Alana?"
"Yeah?" She looked over at him, noticing he was standing up now, "You wanna head inside?" Steve's eyebrows furrowed together for a moment, but he nodded.
"Sounds great." She didn't notice his concerned eyes as she led him across the rest of the yard and into her house.
The first thing he noticed was the absence of any photographs. Ever since he knew Alana she always had a plethora of pictures in her home. Every single wall had been covered, but not anymore. Now the walls were bare, not even a picture of Delta was there. The dog leaned against Steve's leg as the super soldier absent mindedly pet the dog's head, taking in the open floor plan of Alana Mercer's home.
"It's nice." He said honestly, leaving his bag on a bench by the door and walking over to a hanging cabinet.
"Oh that's-" Alana's sentence cut off when Steve opened the doors, his eyes widening at the arsenal that was stashed inside. "Nevermind…"
"Alana?" He was looking back at her now, his blonde eyebrows raised in question.
The young woman shrugged her shoulders, "It's part of me." Her sentence translated in Steve's mind to 'It's my training'. He understood, to a certain extent. He and Bucky had weapons stashed in various places in their Brooklyn apartment.
But that still didn't come close to what Alana had in a single cabinet.
Steve closed the doors, stepping away and thus further into the house, his hands finding their way into the pockets of his jeans. "How long've you lived here?" He asked, looking around one corner and into her kitchen. A large window took up one wall, looking out over her backyard and the mountains beyond.
"Little over three years now." She had to rise onto her tip toes to reach an upper cabinet, grabbing two glasses from a shelf, "Wanna drink?"
Steve nodded his head, "Please." He held up a hand when her mouth opened again, "Water's fine." She nodded, filling both glasses before passing one to Steve and leading him to her living room. Alana sat down first, tucking her legs up underneath her, hiding the scars from Steve's view.
He just watched for a moment as she gazed out the window. Alana didn't look over at him when she spoke, "I'm sorry about Peggy." Her words made his heart ache.
Peggy Carter had passed away three and a half years ago. It wasn't too much of a surprise, but it had hit Steve hard. Alana knew it too, she knew how much grief he must have gone through…and she wasn't there. "I should've gone to the funeral." It didn't take a genius to pick up on the self-loathing in her voice. "I should've-"
"You didn't have to." He cut her off and Alana looked over at Steve. The super soldier leaned forwards, elbows on his thighs, "I managed. It's not your job to look out for me anymore."
She didn't even think before the words slipped off her tongue, "It'll always be my job." That kept him silent, "So, how long are we going to tip-toe around the real reason you're here?"
"Still not one for small talk, huh Mercer?" She just shook her head, taking a sip of her water. Steve let out a breath, "We're worried about you."
"We?"
"Clint and I." He clarified, "Natasha. No one else knows Clint ran into you." Alana listened silently, "Don't tell me you're fine, because you're clearly not. Alana you're living alone in the middle of nowhere without contacting anyone. You never even reached out to Bucky."
His name doesn't make her freeze up this time, she doesn't give her brain long enough to process it, "No."
"We wanna help."
"I don't need help."
Steve scoffed at her and for a moment she wondered where the guy who wouldn't speak his mind went. "You need help, Mercer. This isn't," He gestured around her empty house, "This isn't living. I don't know what from but you're hiding!"
"I'm not fucking hiding from anything!" Her legs were out from under herself now. "If you came here just to lecture me then you aren't welcome." She was up and walking away, her jaw clenched. Steve stood up suddenly, his glass slamming down onto her coffee table.
"For once in your life Alana let someone take care of you!" She froze in her tracks at his raised voice. "You aren't okay! You were taken prisoner and forced to kill thousands of innocent people, you fought on a city that was obliterated and watched one of your best friends die! You ran away from your family and left Bucky behind! Do you have any idea how much pain that put him through!? Losing you again and this time knowing full well it was only you keeping yourself away! He was a goddamn wreck for over a year!" Steve's chest was heaving after he finished his rant.
"Are you done?" Her voice was small, her arms wrapped around herself though she still hadn't turned around. Delta was by her side now, the dog leaning into her legs.
"Yes." He expected her to scream right back at him, to raise her voice. He thought that maybe it was worse when she didn't.
"You don't know half of what I went through during that year. And you don't know what happened in Sokovia. I'd be better off dead, but yah know what Rogers? I'm not strong enough to kill myself." She glanced over her shoulder at him, Steve's eyes widening at her red rimmed eyes, "I'd know, I've already tried."
Despite his outburst Alana still let Steve stay that night. She even cooked him dinner.
He noticed some things that put him on edge though.
Alana zoned out multiple times during their conversations, seeming to lose attention suddenly and starring into nowhere. Whenever it happened Steve would either wait or softly call out her name until she came back. Her hearing seemed to have worsened as well.
By that Steve meant she had normal human hearing. He had had to tell her when the water started to boil for the pasta she had cooked for him. Before Alana would've heard the water boiling from the other side of her apartment, now she missed it from the adjacent room.
Something was wrong, Steve just didn't know what.
Later that night, after she had gone to bed Steve made his way outside onto the porch. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, sliding his finger along the bottom to unlock it before typing out a text.
'Hey Buck, need you to come to this address as soon as you can. Pack to stay for a while.'
Hope you liked it! Bucky will be appearing next chapter! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
