Cas woke to the smell of meat frying, the various nature sounds, such as birds chirping, leaves rustling in the wind, shotguns, and the call of a rooster. Cas got up from the bed and put on his clothes. He walked out of the room.

"Dean what is that smell" Cas said as he stepped down the last steps.

"HOTDOGS AND CLAM CHOWDER FOR BREAKFAST WHEEEEEW!" Dean shouted at the top of his lungs.

"What" is a 'hotdog'" Cas asked.

"ITS MEAT FORM BASICALLY ANYTHING STUFFED IN A SKIN YUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" Dean screamed. "THE BEST ARE IN NEW YAK SITYYYYYYYYYY" (I am using New Yak Sity because I dont want to get sued thx)

"I must go see this New Yak Sity." Cas grunted as he vanished into thin air. He then reappeared in New Yak Sity. He walked around the small village until he found a vendor selling hotdogs."I want a hotdog" Cas said. "I am willing to pay any price to try this marvelous creation."

"Ferst dag eh mahboy?" the vendor said as he slapped that fresh dog onto a hawt bun (ooooooo yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

"Thank you" Cas said as he paid the vendor. He took his first bite of hotdog. He then loved it so much he ate the rest in one bite.

ONE MINUTE LATER

Cas had gone into a deep state of synesthesia. His gall bladder had turned into a cherry ice pop and his heart pumped out root beer instead of blood. A unicorn pranced across his vision.

"Hello Castiel," the unicorn said as it pranced up to Cas. "Let's go for a ride!" Cas mounted the unicorn and drew his rock candy sword. He charged into battle.

"FOR THE ORDER OF THE GREEN HOTDOGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" Cas yelled as he charged his opponent. Cas sliced the head of the donut man clean off. Cas dismounted his unicorn and knelt by the donut man.

"I'm sorry but the small asian man screaming about cabbages over there forced me to do it," Cas said as he sprinkled fairy dust on the beheaded donut man. Cas then got up and stepped onto the spaceship to Mars. He would be the first kale leaf in space. He loved space. He flipped controls and slipped into his spacesuit. The rocket launched.

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Cas whooped as his kale leafiness shook from the force of the launch. He then travelled out of orbit. Months passed. The voyage to Mars was a long one. Cas's kale leafiness would have turned brown if not for the Water-Maker9001! The shuttle touched down on Mars. Cas hopped out of the rocket and rolled in the bootyful Mars dirt.

"Get up we've got work to do!" Crowley said as he grabbed Cas by the leafy arm and dragged him up. Cas and Crowley started walking towards a large industrial machine that was aimed over a small pool of water.

"Cas the last time we became business partners it ended badly but now we are on good terms so here's what you gotta do. Shake all the bacteria you can into this pool off of your kale form. Then we will RULE POLAND!" Cas proceeded to do as Crowley commanded, then watched as the bacteria quickly reproduced, faster and faster. Then the bacteria became small fish, then big fish, then dinosaurs, then various animals. Then a human was created. Crowley grabbed the human.

"Ok kid you're now the president of Poland." Crowley said as he outfitted the man with a suit. "Your name is Dmitri Tippens Krushnic"

"Okay" Dmitri said as he climbed into the spaceship.

"BANG BANG BANG"

CAS WAKE THE FUCK UP

GODDAMNIT SAMMY GET ME AN ICEWATER BUCKET

HURRRYYYYYYYYYY

GREAT NOW DUMP THE WATER ON HIM

GOOD JOB NOW CAS WAKE THE FUCK UP

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

DAMMIT SAMMY I JUST EMPTIED A WHOLE CLIP AND HES NOT WAKING UP

NO I'M NOT GONNA SHOOT HIM HE'LL DIE

I DON'T CARE IF HES AN ANGEL I'M NOT SHOOTING HIM

GET ME A SAFETY PIN

Cas woke up to a sharp pain on his big toe.

"Why did you do that" Cas whined groggily "I was having a really good dream"

"BECAUSE THE HOTDOGS AND CLAM CHOWDER IS READY!" Dean hollered as he banged a pot with a wooden spoon. "WHOOWEEEEE MAH TUMMY'S A GRUMBLIN"

"YEAAAA WOOOO HOTDOGS AND CLAM CHOWDERRRRRR!" Sam screamed.

"WOOOOOT!" Cas screamed as he dug in.

Lucifer: And that dear readers is why Chuck stopped publishing.

Chuck: *sipping coffee from a mug with a picture of his face saying "heaven's number 1 dad"* Lucifer please go back to the cage I need my sleep.

Lucifer: Hell naw the pizza is too good here. Plus I get to follow my lifelong dream of publishing short stories on Tumblr.

Chuck: *sigh*