NOTESTHENOTES: Not entirely happy with this but ah well, I'll live with it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2

Howard wandered up and down the shops in town, searching about for the perfect Christmas present for Tristan. He feared that he had set the bar a bit high with the anniversary gift, and just didn't have the money to top that. But Tristan seemed to understand, warning Howard off again and again from spending all his money on her. She had very pointedly stated that they both needed to begin saving. And she was right; their jobs, while steady and decent, weren't as ideal as they had hoped to obtain.

Finally, after much pacing and muttering amongst himself, Howard decided on a stereotypical boyfriend gift: a stuffed animal; rather, a stuffed dog. At least they were her favorite animals... Later that night, as he and Tristan sipped at their drinks in the quiet, warm air of their favorite Cafe, Howard presented it to her with much fumbling and nervousness. He could help it! After all this time and all the shoddy presents he'd slung together for people, he just never got any better at it.

But the recipients always seemed pleased, which never failed to warm both the back of Howard's neck as well as his heart. His moving away present to Gideon had been received with much hugging and tears, and even Moose got a little choked up as the two friends parted ways. Tristan always loved every gift he bought her, even when he had been certain she'd hate them. And Vince had always-

Vince.

Howard's mind slowed for a second, before quickly kicking into overdrive, forcefully shoving any and all thought on the boy away, far down into the dark depths. Thoughts of the kid had been labeled 'forbidden' during the daytime. It had now been over a year since the boy'd been committed to the Wimbledon Mental Health Centre last September. He'd be turning nineteen in just a few weeks. And Howard knew this time would be just like last year.

On the day of Vince's eighteenth birthday, nearly three months after his commitment, Howard had called into work sick and spent the entire day in bed. It was the first real screaming fight he and Tristan had ever gotten in. She very nearly hit him when he refused her repeated demands that he go and visit the kid. Instead, the woman had declared him incompetent, and slammed the door on her way to spend the night at a friend's.

Howard really wasn't looking forward to this year, and could sense the mounting tension between himself and Tristan.

"Alright, well, I can't really give you your gift right now."

Howard's mind returned to the Cafe, looking across the table at Tristan, who had just spoken.

"Oh? Well that's alright; how come?"

"Weeell, because it's more like a little surprise trip. You'll see."

"A trip? This isn't another day at the aquarium, is it? I mean it's beautiful, but tickets have gotten expensive-"

"It might be. We're going there tomorrow."


As Howard caught sight of the sign in front of the building, he actually tried to open the passenger door. He wasn't sure if he'd really meant to jump from the moving car he was in, and would never find out, as he found the door safety-locked; he was going nowhere. So the man leaned back in his seat and leveled a hard stare over at Tristan as she calmly parked the car. In hindsight he really should've seen this coming.

"I'm not moving."

"Oh god, Howard you are being such a fucking child! We're going in there."

Tristan proceeded to unbuckle herself and get out of the car, walking brusquely around to Howard's door, opening it and crossing her arms down at him. He knew he was being petulant, but over time his fear of breaking down in front of the kid had morphed into simply a fear of seeing Vince at all. It was stupid and unclear and petrifying and Howard fought to come up with any excuse to just drive away now.

"But it's been over a year! Let's jus-"

"Exactly, it's been a damn year, Howard! Get your ass up now!"

Howard opened his mouth to retort, only to find himself being unbuckled and pulled painfully by his arm out of the car, landing on the concrete along with Tristan. The woman just heaved in a breath, standing up again and grabbing hold of Howard's arm, pulling him across the parking lot.

She wasn't covering much ground. Howard was quite heavy. The man felt as if his arms were being pulled off at the shoulder, and with a great cry he stumbled to his feet.

"Alright, alright! Jesus!"

"Alright then."

Tristan gave him a triumphant expression, before turning on her heel and marching toward the front doors. And a small part of Howard mourned the fact that she'd had the mind to bring the car keys with her.

Upon entering the building, Howard felt his stomach and other vital organs leave him at the door. He looked around himself in what must be a waiting room. Tristan was already approaching one of the desks, stating that they were there for the appointment with Vincent Noir. The woman behind the desk told them to take a seat and await a doctor to come and escort them.

Howard drummed his fingers and readjusted himself for several long minutes before a man appeared with a polite smile on his face.

"You're here to see Mr Noir?"

Tristan stood with a smile of her own, voice pleasant, though Howard heard the undertone directed at him, which said something along the lines of "If you make even one excuse to stay in the waiting room, you'll be sleeping outside for a month."

"Yes, we are."

"Right this way, then."

Howard rose and followed behind the two as they were led down three different hallways. Patients milled about in the halls and in rooms with the doors wide open; playing games, watching television, or just reading quietly. Howard relaxed a bit as his mental image of every horror film about asylums ebbed away. He didn't spot a single person in a strait jacket, nor heard any delirious screechings, or passed any padded cells.

And then he was tensing tenfold as the man knocked quietly on a numbered door, leaning in to call through it to its occupant.

"Mr Noir, you've got visitors. You two can just show yourselves right in. If you need anything, there is a guard at the end of every hall."

The doctor gestured toward the man that Howard hadn't noticed, standing nearby and observing the patients as they conversed. Now the horror films were coming back. Oh god. Howard stared down at the doorknob for a full minute after the doctor left them, and Tristan finally gave a sigh and opened the door herself.

Inside was a room much like all the others they had passed by. It had a closet, bathroom, sofas and a small table on which sat a lamp and some paper. The bed was in a corner, beside a window, which the room's occupant was currently gazing out of. He seemed paler than Howard remembered him, and his hair, devoid of all highlights, lay in dark blond tendrils. It had grown out over time, and was pulled back with a small white band, falling just past his shoulders.

Tristan moved forward into the middle of the room, nervousness of her own visibly creeping in. Howard knew she still slightly feared the kid. But if she was willing and able to do this, so could Howard. With a deep, held in breath, the man closed the door and stood by her side as she spoke in a soft tone.

"Hello, Vince. How are you?"

The boy turned his head slightly away from the window, now facing the far wall. But he still wasn't looking at them, and Tristan pressed on gently.

"We came to visit you today, Vince. Howard's here, as well. Why don't you say hi to him, Howard?"

This last sentence was said with pointed emphasis, and Tristan looked over at Howard, tilting her head sharply toward the boy. The man counted his vocal cords as one of the body parts awaiting him back at the entrance, and looked between Tristan and Vince mutely. The woman sent him various looks, gesturing at the kid and mouthing all manner of demands and curses at Howard.

Finally, Howard's voice seemed to have crawled back into him, and he was stuttering out quick words, voice far too raspy and low.

"Uh-er, hi, um...It's me, Howard...uh...Vince?"

The boy wasn't responding, and Howard became incredibly worried. Without thinking it through, the man was reaching out and laying his hand on the boy's shoulder. He immediately regretted it, not knowing how Vince would react to him after all this time. Howard supposed this was what it felt like to raise and then release a wild animal, only to spot it again out in the jungle. The animal either recognised its caretaker, or attacked.

But all the kid did was look up at him. Howard noticed that his eyes were slightly dilated and glassy, and he stared blearily up at the taller man. Howard could only gaze back, mouth parted though no more words could escape.

Vince's eyebrows suddenly drew together, as though he'd only just seen Howard for the first time.

"...Howard?"

His voice was unsteady and dream-like, and he had the appearance of one who was half-asleep. He reached a hand up toward the man's face, and Howard fought his reflex to pull back. The boy merely tapped a finger lightly on Howard's chin before drawing his hand away.

"Wha's with the soul patch?"

The boy's voice was still feathery and his eyes continued to be glassy, but those words were all Howard needed to know that Vince was in there. The Vince he knew was still in that head, and Howard smiled down at him, hand moving up from the boy's shoulder to lay gently at the base of his neck.

From here Howard wasn't sure what to say, and Tristan filled in for him, keeping her voice light as the boy turned to notice her as well.

"Um, why don't we go and sit on the sofa, Vince? You can tell us how you've been."

Both Howard and Tristan noticed with unease how the boy's expression changed as he took in the woman and her words. It was subtle, but he definitely seemed to regard Tristan much the same as he did back when he tried to dig a shovel blade into her. Howard thought that his girlfriend was incredibly brave, as she hardly reacted, moving steadily to sit down on one of the two small green couches on the other side of the room.

Howard dropped his hand and stepped back from the bed, conveying silently his agreement with Tristan's words, and finally the boy pushed back the duvet and began to stand. He was dressed in the same baggy uniform that every patient there donned. It seemed to swallow his form as he stepped slowly toward the sofas, swaying here and there.

'They must have him on some powerful drugs...'

Vince took a seat on the sofa opposite Tristan, and Howard spent a few seconds of panicked debating before sitting down with the boy. Vince looked dully between them, and Howard felt he had to speak up lest the boy catch on to how uncomfortable he felt. He didn't want the kid to translate it into meaning Howard didn't want to see him. He did! He just...didn't know what to say.

"So...uh, how have you been, Vince? You know...how are things...around the Centre?"

That sounded incredibly awkward in Howard's ears, and the boy's eyes moved up and down him before speaking again, voice a bit clearer than before.

"Borin' as shit. They hold these group s'ssions, y'know, where we all sit 'n a circle an' are s'pose to talk about our feelings. 'S pretty rubbish."

"I see...anything else?"

"Nope. Nothin' 'appens 'ere...what have you been up to?"

"Um, well, not much...mostly just work and then going home..."

"Oh? An' what d'you do? Find another zoo?"

"No, um, I'm working as a bin man. It's actually pretty-"

"Bin man?"

The boy broke off into low laughter, body shaking a bit with it, and Howard couldn't help the utter feeling of wrongness that had come over him throughout this entire conversation. It was wrong that Vince couldn't walk steadily; wrong that his eyes and face looked like he'd just got up from a coma. And it was wrong how he spoke as one asleep, or heavily pissed, slow and poorly enunciated. As his laughter ended the boy held his grin as he looked up at Howard. The man pushed all his negative thoughts aside and smiled assuredly down at the kid. Tristan spoke up once more, leaning forward in her seat.

"So, are you excited to be turning nineteen soon, Vince?"

The boy turned to look at her, seeming to notice her for the first time for the second time. His expression shifted into confusion, smile shrinking.

"Nineteen? 'M turnin' eighteen this year."

Now Howard was leaning forward, grasping the boy by his arm. He looked into the Vince's eyes, finding sincerity there in his claim. He then sat straight, trying to find the best way to construct the sentence he must say next.

"Um, Vince...you're going to be nineteen in two weeks, not eighteen. That was last year."

The boy looked between them, visibly processing this new information. Howard closed his eyes with a sigh.

"When...when you were taken here...remember? It was early November? You turned eighteen that January...and now it's another January. So..."

"I've been here two years?"

"No, not entirely. Just over a year. Um...what...what kind of medicine do they give you, Vince? Do you know?"

"Can't believe 's been tha' long...don't feel like it. Guess I sleep more 'n I thought. Um...don't know the names, but I take two pills in mornin's, and at lunch I take another. Used to take one at night...but tha' stopped after a while..."

Howard resolved to find Vince's primary doctor immediately, and rose from his seat. Vince's face flashed in alarm, and he clumsily grabbed onto Howard's shirt. Tristan moved ahead of him toward the door, allowing him a bit of space to give his goodbyes. Howard leaned down to eye-level with the kid, laying calming hands on his shoulders. The poor kid looked incredibly upset, and Howard wondered to himself how long it would take the staff to notice a missing patient.

"Vince, now I want you to listen carefully. We're going to go now. But! We'll be back for your birthday, alright? A- and I promise, I'll even bring you a gift! What do you want, name me anything, and it's yours."

Oh great, now he was promising the boy anything he wanted. He really needed to sew his mouth shut. He just didn't want the kid to be too distressed when he left. The thought of Vince sitting in this room, alone and distraught, made his throat burn. The boy smiled slightly up at him in response, and seemed to think it over.

"Could you get me a poncho?"

"A poncho?"

"Yeah, a blue one. Please?"

"You got it, Little Man."

Howard stood straight once more, hesitated, and then leant back in to place a kiss on top of the kid's head, quickly turning and walking from the room before the boy could react. He felt Tristan's smile digging into his back as they moved through the hallways and to the waiting room.

There Howard walked to another desk and asked if it was possible to see specific doctors. The man replied that it was only possible with an appointment.

"Well, could I schedule one to meet up with Vincent Noir's doctor, please?"

"Sure thing. Uhhh, that would be Dr Edmund. He's free for a ten o'clock this next Friday. How's that?"

"That sounds fine, thank you."

Howard then exited the building, not really sure if he felt lighter or heavier with his organs once again back inside him. They seemed to have been put in wrong. He felt odd as he sat in the passenger seat, Tristan starting the engine, aiming a smile his way.

"See? Now aren't you glad I dragged you here?"

Pride was a hard thing for Howard to swallow; but he decided, just once, to let it go.

"Yeah. Thanks, Tristan..."

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