"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it," I repeated over and over.
I was treading in a grass-ridden place with trees hovering over me. What is this? A jungle? Then I tripped. I cursed loudly and dragged myself up. This is utterly pointless! What the hell am I here? Why is Wonderland existing? Why is the Cheshire Cat a punk!
I cursed even more and kicked the dirt. Gah! And more importantly, why am I in a dress! This stinks! I continue to walk.
"My, what a pretty girl you are," said a sly voice. And it wasn't that Envy guy.
I turned around and looked any signs of anyone. There was no one.
"Ha, ha! Up here!"
I blinked, then looked up. A man was sitting on a tree branch. He held a dirty smirk. I grimaced and backed away. The man wore a black shirt along with brown ripped pants. He had a jacket that was covered with dust. He had a muscular body that was wounded up in chains. Great, another weirdo.
He had the same pale face as Envy's, though he had short spiked black hair. His eyes were the same purple color. Considering from the looks of this guy, he must be a creep or a pervert.
"Now, don't be a afraid, I won't probably rape you," he said huskily. He jumped down and made a perfect landing.
I glared and tightened my fists. "Don't come any closer!" I hissed.
"Feisty, aren't you? I like that in women."
I cursed under my breath. Let's see…there were two bushes between him so I'm blocked there. And if I make a run for it behind me, then this guy might catch up to me anyway by the looks of his powerful legs. Shit, and I'm no good at climbing trees, especially when I'm wearing a dress. What am I going to do?
Then there is the only option I have to go for. Beat the crap out of this guy and run away while he's still unconscious. Right! I poised into an attack position, then pounced on him, making a kick right into his face. But I gasped in surprise when I found that his face was as hard as a rock!
He was even still standing! He chuckled and grabbed my ankle, causing me to land on the ground hard. I gave a yelp from the pain.
"Oh, so you're a fighter, this just gets even more interesting," he snickered.
I quickly got up and back away by a yard. My legs were trembling from the unexpected surprise. I breathed deeply as I felt beads of sweat roll down my cheek. What is this guy? He's really strong! Don't tell me he's a Deadly Sin.
Do all people look like him and Envy? Are they all pale with purple eyes? I took a calm breath, then shot a loogie in the bushes. I gave a smirk. I'm not going down without a fight!
"Hell yeah, I am. And I'm taking you down!" I exclaimed as I rushed forward.
He grinned and swiftly dodged my punch. Then he grabbed my arm and pinned me down on the ground. I cursed loudly.
"Now, be a good girl and stay still," he said.
"As if, ass-hole!" I shouted.
I kicked him right into the gut. When he let go of me, I slid out and kicked his back. When he was still down, I made a run for it.
"Pesky brat! You're going to pay for that!" I heard him rasped.
"Fat chance, dip wad!" I called.
After running for a while, I stopped and panted for air. That was close! I nearly got myself raped! I wiped away the sweat and looked at where I was. Shit, this looks even stranger. I'm at some forest with even more signs and doors!
I sighed and walked to whatever path I went. Then I heard a chuckle. I froze. A white smile became visible over a branch. Then a body became more visible. It was Envy!
"Nice going shrimp! I can't believe you actually took down Greed!" cackled Envy.
"DON'T CALL ME SHRIMP! And what the hell do you mean by Greed, puss?" I snapped.
"That man who tried to take away your virginity. He's a Sin also."
I narrowed my eyes. "So you're telling me…that he's also a dangerous guy?"
"That's right!" he said, lashing his tail.
"GAH! WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME! HE MIGHT TRY TO GET BACK AT ME!" I screamed angrily.
"Because it was fun. If he actually were going to rape you, I would stop him. But it looked like you took things well," he mused.
Gah! This is bad! Really bad! If I had known that he was a Sin, then I would have tried to at least run away! Now he's going to kill me!
"You're an ass!" I shouted.
"And you're a shrimp."
"I'M NOT A SHRIMP!"
I stomped to the tree that Envy was lying on and kicked it as hard as possible. Which was very stupid because I bruised my toe. I cursed in pain and caressed my foot in pain. Envy laughed in amusement.
"You're a funny one. Very interesting. Where do you come from?" he said.
I scowled at his way. "What's it to you?"
He shrugged. "I just like you, that's all. I want to know more about you."
"Fat chance! Leave me alone!" I barked.
"Now is that anyway to say to the guy who saved your life?"
"You did not!"
"Well I would if you have lost."
"Go away you stupid puss!"
He gave a crooked grin. I grumbled inaudibly and stalked away. Then stopped.
"Hey puss, what do all Sins look like?" I asked.
"Well like Greed and I. We are pale with purple eyes," he coolly answered.
"Do they carry any abilities abnormal to regular humans?"
"Well, we are much more stronger, faster, and smarter. Why?"
I grimaced. "How many Deadly Sins are there?" I asked, ignoring his question.
"Let's see…Greed, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, and Sloth. That makes…seven of us."
I sighed and angrily scratched my head. "Great, hopefully I won't have to cross with them," I grumbled.
"Man, that bitch. When I see her, she's good as dead!" swore a faint familiar voice.
I froze. From the corner of my eye, I saw one of the doors open, revealing a bright light, then a figure.
I saw Envy grin. "Yo, Greed. Having a bad day?" he teased.
"Shut up. I just came across a pipsqueak," Greed muttered.
Curse my arrogant personality! "WHO YOU CALLING SHORT, DIP WAD!" I shouted.
Then clasped a hand over my mouth. Greed looked at me shock, then glared. "It's you!" he shouted.
I yelped and was about to run, but tripped over a tree root. I heard his footsteps rushing closer to me. I squeezed my eyes shut. Waiting for the pain to happen, I heard a loud crash. I gasped and looked up; Envy was standing in front of me. And as for Greed, he was lying against trees that were broken in half.
"E-Envy?" I stuttered.
"Greed, don't touch this girl. If you do, you'll be sorry," Envy deadpanned.
Greed smirked and got up, dusting away the sediments on his jacket. "You have a thing for this girl, don't you?"
I blushed. Envy snorted and placed his hands on his hips. "Don't get any ideas. She just interests me. Once I get bored of her, I'll kill her."
Well there goes my gratitude. I dragged myself up and kicked Envy's feet, causing him to fall. "Hey, what was that for?" demanded Envy.
I shot a glare at him. "For toying with me. Mess with me again and I'll be sure to knock off your manhood, puss!" I growled.
Greed snickered. "You're right, she is quite amusing."
I gritted my teeth as I felt my cheeks warm up. "The same goes for you, dip wad! Try to rape me, and I'll kill you," I threatened.
"That's not going to happen. We Sins are immortal," Greed said.
I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"If you stab a knife through my chest, I would only regenerate. If you knock my head off, I would grow back another. If you slice me in half, one of my sides would grow the other half. Get it?"
"So…you don't age either?" I deadpanned.
He nonchalantly cracked his head. "No, but there is one of us who does. Hey, wasn't it Pride?"
Envy stood up, casting me a glare. "Pride and Wrath," he answered monotonously.
"Well there you go."
"Grr. Whatever, I need to go!" I retorted.
Before I could go, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist. I slightly blushed and looked up. Greed was there smirking down at me. "Where you off to, pipsqueak?" he asked.
"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT!" I shouted, punching him on the cheek. Then immediately regretted doing that. My knuckled were red in pain. I swore under my breath and caressed my poor hand.
"Man, don't you ever learn? You tried kicking me and it didn't work. We Sins are just far too inferior than you humans," Greed said.
"GO TO HELL!" I shouted. "And don't get in my way. I have to go to the King of Hearts."
He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"So that I could go back home, what else?"
"I don't know…a chick like you off to the King, wouldn't that be a bit risky for you?"
"Hey, I was able to beat your sorry ass, and you're even a Sin. Still think it's going to be too risky?" I sneered.
He glared. "I just let down my guard!"
"Hmm? What's this Greed? I thought that you fancied tough girls," commented Envy.
"You stay out of this, Envy!" snapped Greed.
As the two started to quarrel, I took my chance to escape. When I was at the point where I couldn't see them, I relaxed and went off. Then a door opened. Greed's head popped out. I gave a scream and tumbled on the ground. I groaned from the pain.
"Hey, you shouldn't run off like that," he commented. He walked out of the door.
I looked around. "That cat isn't with you, is he?" I hesitated.
"Nope, I ditched him. Say, how about I escort you to that King? It wouldn't be polite to leave a young lady as yourself to go wandering in woods."
I gave a small grin. "Huh? What's this about? You suddenly become a gentleman? That's a huge change," I teased.
He grinned back. "I'm just not the type of man who would leave a doll all alone."
"Yeah, then end up taking away her virginity," I grumbled.
"Look, I promised I won't do anything to you. If I did, Envy would get all pissed," he said, waving his hand in the air nonchalantly.
I huffed. "Fine. But if you do, I'll skin you alive until you actually do die!"
"Whatever you say, shortie."
"DIP WAD! I'M NOT SHORT!"
"Are you kidding me? If I didn't know better, I would have mistaken you as a 12-year-old," he chuckled.
"Then why did you even try to rape me, huh?" I muttered.
"I told you, I knew better."
I cast a glare and started to walk. Greed caught up with me. "Don't call me short, dip wad. My name is Ed," I said curtly.
His eyebrows raised. "You're a boy?"
"NO I'M NOT! YOU THINK A GUY WOULD WEAR A DRESS?" I shouted.
"Well if he likes wearing girl clothes, he would."
"GAH! YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!"
"So tell me, Ed. Why do you have a guy name?"
"Because I forgot to ask my jack-assed geezer what my real name was," I grumbled.
"Why not make up a name then? How about we call you Elle? Or how about Elizabeth?" he suggested.
I raised an eyebrow. "What's with the names that start with 'E's?" I asked.
He gave a laid back shrug. "Well your current name starts with an 'E', so why not call you a name that starts with 'E'?"
I sighed. "I rather not. I was known as Ed, so I'm sticking with it."
"Hmm, it does suits you. You do act like a man," he joked.
"QUIT PISSING ME OFF!"
He laughed. "So tell me, what's a girl like you doing around here? You said that you needed to get home?"
I huffed curtly. "I don't know. I just ended up here."
"So where do you come from then?"
"What is this? A question marathon? I don't like being probed," I snapped.
He laughed. "Well then how am I supposed to know more about you?"
"I don't know. How about I ask you questions instead?"
"Sure, why not?"
I thought for a moment. "Why are you called Greed?" I asked.
"Hey, I'm a greedy person. I want money, women, and just about everything," he said smugly.
I rolled my eyes. "So did you pick your name then?"
"No. I don't exactly who picked our names either. We were just made this way."
I sighed. "Well, you said that you Sins don't age except for two. But you biologically look like a man. How come?"
"I was just made this way."
"How old is Envy and you biologically then?" I curiously asked.
"Well, the cat must be in his late teens. Maybe 17 or 18," Greed bored answered.
"And you?"
He grinned. "Early 20's. But Envy's the oldest out of all the Sins."
My eyebrows furrowed. "He is? But…he's so young though. How old is he really?"
"I don't know. About more than centuries. Who knows," Greed said.
My eyes widened in shock. How could a boy like Envy be that old! Well, I admit he doesn't act childish or like a normal teen, but I wouldn't exactly say that he's mature either. The same goes for the hormonal Greed.
"So how old are you?" I asked.
"A few centuries old."
"So you're a pedophile," I grumbled.
"Now, that's a mean way to put it. I'm basically ageless so it doesn't really matter," he said in a teasing voice.
"Che, whatever you say, dip wad," I snorted.
"Now what's with the nickname, midget?"
I hit him in the gut with a thick tree branch. "WHO YOU CALLING A RUNT THAT CAN'T BE SEEN BY A MIRCROSCOPE!?" I ranted.
He, sadly, was still standing. "I didn't say that. All I did was call you a midget," he said, pushing the branch away.
I fumed away as I stalked ahead. Greed paced up to me. "So, what are you? Some kind of fighter of something?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" I muttered.
"Well you always seem to like it when you get to beat the shit out of people. What's the deal? You do it for a hobby?"
"Okay, first of all, it's not a hobby. And secondly, I use it for self-defense," I retorted.
"Okay, I believe you," he said lightly.
"So what do you do? Rape any poor girl who wanders the woods aimlessly?" I said with sarcasm leaking into each word.
He snorted. "Nah, I'm a thief."
I looked at him with surprise. "A thief?" I repeated.
"Yeah. I steal stuff, but mostly out from rich people crap. That's how I make my living," he said.
"That's not very good. You should change your ways," I commented.
He lazily shrugged. "That's the way I am. Envy's a cat so all he ever does is lounge around in the forest."
I sighed. "Is that so."
As we walked, a huge pink sign with fancy letters appeared. The letters wrote out 'Mad Hatter's Residence'. I raised an eyebrow and curiously looked at Greed who was just scratching his head.
"Well I got to go. I have things to steal," he muttered.
I gawked. "What the hell? I thought you said that you would help me!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, but that's when I saw that we have to cross the tea party lunatics. Sorry, Ed, but there is no way that I would go through here. Good luck handling the mad people."
"Traitor! I don't want to go through mad people!"
"My, didn't you know? We're all mad here, dear Ed," he said with a grin.
Gah, of course. That's what the Cheshire Car has said in the book. Except I would never expect that there would actually be the madness going on around here. They all seemed perfectly fine to me. Well, besides their abnormal strength and looks, their personality is okay.
"Wait, so does that mean I'm mad as well?" I asked.
"Not that I know of. You don't come from here, that's what Envy said. I'll let you on a little advice though," he said.
"What?"
"You have to come closer. There could be people ease dropping us."
"T-there's people here?"
"Well there could be! Now, come closer."
My eyebrows furrowed, then I sighed. I leaned my head close enough for Greed to whisper something to my ear.
"Don't let them take away your virginity. That belongs to me," he whispered.
"YOU BLOODY STINKING PERVERTED BASTARD!"
