We open with an image of Krypton exploding-

Tai: BAM! Krypton goes splodey! All right! This is awesome!

Moon: Tai, show some respect!

Tai: Why? It's just a dinky little dwarf planet. I bet you wouldn't care if Pluto imploded in on itself, wouldya?

Moon: I… Well, of course I would care! And anyway Krypton was inhabited by people.

Tai: It happens.

Moon: It happens?!

Tai: Of course. I'm sure planets explode every day, you just don't know it because they're so many light years away. And you can't tell me that Earth is the only one inhabited by life.

Moon: That's not the point!

Narrator 2: Excuse me, but are you two quite finished?

Tai: Quite.

Moon: No, we're not!

Tai: Yes, we are. Please continue, Mr. Narratorman. –gags Moon with a sock-

Ahem. We open with an image of Krypton exploding (Tai: Whoo!) and then move on into those annoying credits at the beginning of movies that should be at the end. This goes on for several really annoying minutes, passing through unknown galaxies and planets (Tai: I think I just saw Nar Shadaa! Moon: -mumbles through gag- Tai: Oh shut up, Moon. Star Wars is always worth referencing.) These beginning credits take quite a while. I wonder what they put at the end… (Tai: I like this new narrator.) The beginning credits end with the camera zooming into Earth.

Tai: Finally! –takes out Moon's gag-

Moon: That wasn't very nice, you know!

Tai: No one ever said I had to be nice. Slytherin, you know.

Narrator2: This movie has nothing to do with Harry Potter.

Tai & Moon: Everything has to do with Harry Potter!

Narrator2: Moving on...

We move on into a scene of an old woman lying in a bed, clearly dying-

Moon: That's Lex's girlfriend.

Tai: Really? See, I told you old people needed love too. I bet she was one of Clark's "daddy's" prostitutes.

Moon: Don't use the word "daddy" in that context. It's creepy. And we've already discussed this. He was not a pimp!

Lex: Excuse me? Can you not see that my lover is dying? This is a very serious moment.

Tai: 'Cause Lex's girlfriend dying is srs bsns, Moon. We'd better shut up or he'll come after us next!

Lex: How dare you! That's very hurtful, you know. –eyes welling with tears-

Moon: I thought you were supposed to be a BAMF villain?

Lex: It doesn't mean I don't have feelings!

Tai: Why don't you QQ moar, n00b. Can we move on?

Moon: What's with this lady's Pomeranian fixation?

Tai: I bet they ate her after she died.

Lex walks out of the dead woman's room, takes off his wig, and hands it to a little girl. The girl screams and Lex walks away.

Tai: Wait! I don't understand. Why does the girl scream?

Moon: Well, what she didn't know was that Lex had that wig made from his girlfriend's late Pomeranian Mr. Squiggles.

Tai: Oh. Right then, that makes sense. Poor dear old Mr. Squiggles. Never stood a chance.

Moon: May we have a moment of silence for Mr. Squiggles?

The entire set goes quiet.

Moon: Right, I think that's enough silence.

Tai: Started to get awkward near the end, didn't it?

Moon: Yes, well, I had another question. This one's for Lex himself.

Lex: -stops and turns- What is it? I'm a very busy man.

Tai: Oh, I'm sure you are. Not anymore, though. -snickers

Moon: -elbows Tai in the ribs- Actually, I guess it has something to do with what Tai was insinuating. What did dear old Gertrude mean by "pleasures she may have never known in life?"

Lex: -hesitates- Er… Well…

Tai: Yes? Tell us. We'll keep your secret for you. –fingers crossed behind her back-

Lex: Well, I gave her foot rubs four times a day.

Moon: Foot rubs!

Tai: Well, that's lame. I was wanting something a little more exciting.

Lex: Well, she had rather nasty feet if I must be frank.

Moon: Who's Frank?

Tai: My cousin.

Moon: Why does he want to be your cousin?

Tai: No idea.

Lex: Not Frank as in a name! "Frank," as in "honest." You know.

Tai: Oh right. Of course. –mutters- He just wants to be my cousin to get close to me.

Moon: -giggles-

Lex: What was that?

Tai: Nothing… Nothing at all. Shall we move on?

Moon: I think we shall, yes.

Tai: Let's fast forward to the pimp's house.

Moon: Farmer's house!

Tai: Whatever!

Superman, on his way back from his home world, causes the entire house to shake. We are briefly shown a Scrabble board being mixed up-

Tai: How dare he mess up a perfectly beautiful Scrabble board!

Moon: What is your problem?

Tai: Them messing up the beauty of the English language is my problem!

Moon: you're just angry because word games are the only board games you're good at.

Tai: Shut up, fool, I'll kick your ass at Boggle!

Narrator2: Could you two please shut the hell up?!

Moon: -mutters- Sorry.

Tai: I don't think I like this new narrator anymore…

Narrator2: -rolls eyes and continues-

So anyway, the whole farmhouse (Tai: Pimp house!) is shakingA great fiery ball falls from the sky as Martha (Tai: The hoe.) watches. The fireball burns a trail through a wheat field.

Moon: Holy shit! Superman must have had some bad diarrhea! Look at that skid mark!

Martha approaches the wreckage.

Tai: Who in their right mind would go nearthat thing? It could be radioactive!

Moon: Oh, but look what comes out of there!

Tai: Is he naked? o.o

Moon: No, but I wish he was.

Tai: Flesh colored clothes then?

Moon: Dunno, but it's rather disappointing.

Narrator2: I can't get any work done here! Fuck this. I quit.

Moon: The job of narrating our stories must be cursed.

Tai: I don't know what their problems are.