Hey all, Jaspers Dark Angel and Jaspers Darlin Kathy here. We just wanted to thank you all for your support for this story and to inform you that this is its official home.

We also wanted to thank our wonderful Beta Goddesses Domwards Mistress who worked with us on the actual slash part and Cullen818 for all the grammatical stuff.

We don't own anything though I am sure that if we did we wouldn't be willing to share Jasper with even each other let alone all of you :P


Leaving me behind

I was so fucking pissed at Bella; I was having a hard time believing she had freaked out on Edward as bad as she had. She was not the injured party in this ordeal. If anything Edward was. Betrayed, not only by his wife, but Alice as well. I couldn't believe Alice had told Bella about Edward and me. Alice would have never meddled in the affairs of other people a few years ago, what the fuck had happened to this family? It had fallen apart at the seams after the Volturi had come to make sure Bella had been changed. Rose and Emmett had left only because Rosalie couldn't stand to be around Bella, at the time I thought she was just being a bitch like normal, now though, I was starting to wonder if Rose hadn't gotten it right. Emmett had only gone because of Rosalie. Emmett loved Bella like a little sister and was fiercely protective of her. I wonder what he would say if he could see her now?

Carlisle and Esme had decided to take an extended vacation, one that had so far lasted 3 years. One of them would call to let us know that they were doing well but it was all superficial. I got the feeling that there was more to their story then they were letting on but I never pressed the topic. There was no point, I was dealing with other issues and I couldn't find it in me to really care what Carlisle and Esme were up to. I had to sit back and do nothing as I watched not only my life with Alice change but Edward's and Bella's as well. Though, Bella had been a willing participant in the change while Edward had been waiting patiently for her to come back. Little did he know that she never would come back? I wasn't sure why she had been doing it but she was stepping out on him and had been for the past year. I'm pretty sure that's why she wanted to stay in Forks. She was unwilling to give up that fucking wolf. Or at least his dick!

I was still having a hard time understanding why she would choose a wolf over Edward. Edward was the most gorgeous creature in existence and no wolf could even compare to him. He was Adonis to me and to most of the female population, so why Bella would give that up I didn't want to know. I guess it didn't matter to me, it meant I had got to have him and live out a dream of mine. The only problem was I was driving him to Alaska right now. I had to drop him off with the Denali's and I didn't know if I was ready to let him go.

Bella had really done a number on his self-esteem. I could feel the sorrow and hate flowing off of him. He must be sad about what happened with Bella. I haven't been able to feel love from her for a while now, but I wasn't sure what that was about. Bella had become a heartless bitch after her change and I didn't understand it. I knew that being changed had the potential to change a person but I didn't foresee it being such a drastic change. I wondered if she blamed Edward for taking her away from the wolves. It was her fucking choice, she could have decided to go be the Dog's bitch, but it wasn't like he had imprinted on her and she knew that shit could turn sour and fast. She decided to stick with what was safe. Stupid bitch ruined this family.

Edward and I really needed to talk about this. I was sure he was feeling just as conflicted as I was. I didn't want to let him go, but I also didn't know what that meant. I had been with one other guy in my life and we never made as strong a connection as Edward and I had. Both Peter and Edward were important to me but I never felt like either of them were brothers. Emmett and I had a brotherly connection and Peter and I were best friends and each others saviors. We had both been through so much and we had saved each other from the death grip Maria had once held over us, but there was never any feelings between us. Edward was another story all together. He had been on my mind off and on since I had met him, all those years ago, but I had never stopped to analyze the attraction I had for him. Now after everything that happened I had to stop and figure out what I felt for him. It was more than sex or a release, but did I love him, was he supposed to be my mate or was he a way to get me through this stage of my life? I didn't want to think about Edward as disposable but I also couldn't see spending eternity with him as the love of my life. Though I thought Alice and I would be together for eternity and look how well that turned out. I really needed to get away from the situation and look at it with out having the object of my current desires sitting right next to me looking ready and willing.

This was going to take some serious reflecting on my part and I needed to talk to some one other then Edward about it. I really was going to have to find Peter. He always got in my head and made me see reason better then anyone I had even known. Most of the time it annoyed the crap out of me, but right now I really needed a different perspective. I wasn't happy that I would have to have this conversation with Peter, as far as I knew he wasn't as open as I was. Yes he had used the release I was willing to give him and he had repaid me but I never got the feeling he much cared for it. I had never told him that I had those kinds of feelings for Edward and now I had to lay it all out on the line just to try and make sense of it. I wish there was someone else I could talk to but really, there wasn't. I would have to go to Texas and have this talk with Peter. I silently hoped Edward would ask me to go to Alaska with him, but I knew I shouldn't go. Edward wouldn't ask me, he needed to figure this shit out on his own and I just hoped that didn't involve him banging Tanya.

"Jasper, I think we need to talk." Edward's voice broke me from my internal suffering. I looked over at him knowing he was right and not at all ready for the conversation that was about to take place.

Epov

Riding in the car with Jasper to Alaska was not what I really wanted to do. I didn't want him to leave me, but I didn't know what else to do. I could beg him to stay, but I don't know if he would.

I was afraid that I was never going to see him again. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. What if he didn't feel the same way as I did? It would break my heart.

The silence in the car was unbearable but I could see that Jasper was lost in his thoughts as well so I decided to stay quiet for now.

I closed my eyes and thought about the way that Bella reacted to whatever Jasper had whispered to her. I couldn't find it in me to care about her being afraid. She obviously didn't love me as much as she used to, not with the way she was never around.

I was going to have to ask him what he said to her. I decided that if I was going to talk to him before we got to Alaska; I needed to do it now.

"Jasper, I think we need to talk."

He looked at me for a moment and then pulled the car off the road. I looked up and he was taking some dirt road that I had no clue was even there. After he drove for another five minutes, he finally stopped the car.

He put the car in park and turned it off. He turned to face me and said, "Yes, we do need to talk. Why don't you go first?"

I nodded and said, "Do you regret what happened between us?"

He quickly shook his head and said, "NO! I don't regret what we did. I am glad that happened. I'm only sorry about what Bella did."

I reached over and grabbed his hand. "It's okay. Alice is the one who told her. I saw it in her mind that she told Bella about the vision of the two of us together."

His eyes narrowed and he muttered, "Stupid, fucking meddling pixie. I don't know why she can't ever mind her own business."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his in an attempt to stop his ranting about Alice. After a few seconds I pulled back, "Better?"

He smiled and said, "Much better. Thank you."

I smiled my crooked grin, "You're welcome. What did you whisper in Bella's ear that had her truly terrified?"

He turned away from me for a moment. When he finally turned back to me, he said, "I'll tell you soon enough, just not now."

"Okay. How long will it be before I see you again?" I couldn't stop the question from coming out.

He squeezed my hand and said, "I don't know, but don't worry I'll come back to you. I promise I won't be gone long and I'll miss you."

I smiled, "I'll miss you too."

He leaned towards me and I met him half way. He pressed his lips to mine in a soft kiss. When he pulled back he said, "Promise me that you'll resist the Denali sisters."

I placed my hand on his cheek and said, "I promise that I will resist them. I don't want them. The person that I want isn't even going to be there. He'll be in Texas."

He gave me a small smile and I could see the conflict in his eyes. I was starting to understand that conflict; it was the same kind that reflected behind my eyes of that I was sure. Jasper had been a good friend to me for a very long time and I didn't want to lose that, but more to the fact I didn't want to lose what we had just shared. To prove my point, I reached across the console and wrapped one of my hands around his neck and pulled his lips towards mine for a kiss like none other.

He was so soft against me and he tasted so good. Jasper's scent was sweet and tangy at the same time, like fresh baked cookies and lemons. It was completely different then Bella's freesia and lavender and I liked it better. I raked my tongue across his bottom lip and he eagerly granted me access. The sensation of our tongues touching created a feeling deep with in me that one could only explain as a purr. In that moment I wanted nothing more then to be with Jasper. Our time was limited, I knew that, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted him more then I had ever wanted anyone in my life.

Jpov

I was really glad that he had initiated the conversation. I wasn't ready to be the one that did it. I had been the one that was too weak to stay away from him in the river. I wasn't ready to continue being weak. I was trying to stay strong and deal with the fact that what Edward was about to tell me might not be what I wanted to hear.

When he had said we needed to talk all I could do was agree. Inside, my dead heart was beating a mile a minute. My head was screaming this was it; he was going to tell me he never wanted to see me again and that it meant nothing to him. I pulled off the main road and traveled down a much less used dirt path about 5 miles before I stopped. I wanted the road to be secluded in case I needed to get out. In case I couldn't handle what he was about to tell me. I was being a chicken shit and I knew it, but that didn't change the fact that I was absofuckinglutly terrified of Edward at this moment. He held everything in the palm of his hand. I had decided to take his lead on this and if he decided that this wasn't ever going to happen again, it wouldn't! It wasn't even so much that I needed it to happen again, I was worried that I would never get to see him again. That what we had done in the woods would change our friendship forever. Never being able to be Edward's friend was proving to be even more painful then never being able to kiss him again.

He must have been having some of the same thoughts because he asked if I regretted what happened. I couldn't lie, even if he regretted it, I sure as hell did not, so I told the truth. I was happy that I had finally gotten to live out one of my deepest fantasies. Being with him the most connected way had been unlike anything I had ever experienced and I wanted to do it again if I could, though I didn't tell him that.

After explaining that he had seen that Alice had told Bella about our little rendevous in the forest, just the thought of the meddling bitch of a pixie got my blood boiling. I was pissed, what gave her the right to fuck with Edward and me that way? Why couldn't she ever keep her tiny fucking nose out of it? Edward sensing my overload did something I was not expecting. He leaned over and placed his soft sweet lips on mine. He smelled so wonderful, like the fall, pumpkin and cloves with a hint of cinnamon. This kiss was slow and chastised but it was enough to calm me down. I had never experienced anything like that. I had the ability to calm anyone down but I had never met a person that could calm me with just a touch. Maybe it was the fact that the kiss meant that he didn't regret what had happened either or maybe I was reading too much into it?

He had said he wanted to see me again and that he would miss me so did that mean he wanted to be friends or something more? Fuck, did I want to be friends or something more? Everything is so fucked up right now and I can't make heads or tails of it. I had to know if he was going up there for Tanya. Maybe she had been the reason he had decided to leave in the first place? Deciding that if he couldn't have Bella, at least Tanya would be a good romp. I had to know what his reasons for going to Alaska were, but how?

"Just promise me that you will resist the Denali sisters?" I had almost pleaded in my head with him, even though I knew it was doing no good. He had long since learned how to stay out of my head, for which most of the time I was grateful for. Right now I wanted into his head, just to see how he truly felt. I could feel what he was feeling but I never had the insight as to what the person's reasons for their feelings were. I was prepared to leave Edward if I had to, to give him up for good but that didn't mean I wanted too. But would I come back for him after he got out of my car? Could I bring myself back here to where this all started to go down? Where my life effectively changed? Would I really ever see Edward again after this? I had no answers for these questions.

The feel of his hand on my cheek had sent a shudder through my body, but his next words made my dead heart soar to life. "I promise that I will resist them." He had said in a soft sincere voice, "I don't want them. The person that I want isn't even going to be there. He'll be in Texas." I honestly couldn't think as I tried to process what he had just said to me. Did that mean what I thought it meant? Did that mean he wanted me? That he needed me the way I wanted and needed him. In answer to my question, Edward grabbed my head and brought me to his lips. He was everything I had dreamt and more.

This kiss was filled with unadulterated passion and I was hungry for more. Sensing what I wanted, he pulled me into his lap. I felt his erection against my thigh.

I ground my hips into his hardened cock and he groaned into my mouth.

Epov

Having Jasper sitting in my lap grinding against my erection was almost too much. He unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it off my shoulders, without ever breaking our kiss. I reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up.

We broke our kiss long enough for me to get his shirt off. He attacked my lips with fervor and forced his tongue into my mouth.

He moved his kisses down my neck and to my chest. He licked one of my nipples and I hissed at the sensation. He pushed my seat back and dropped down to his knees.

He quickly unbuttoned my pants and released my dick from my boxers. I watched as he licked his lips before sliding just the head into his mouth. I gripped the edge of the seat to keep from forcing his head down onto my cock.

He wrapped his lips around my shaft and took as much into his mouth as he could. What didn't fit, he wrapped his hand around and began pumping in time with his mouth.

He used his free hand to grab my balls and massage them. I moaned at the feelings that this man was inducing in me. He picked up the pace and I could feel my orgasm fast approaching.

"Oh god Jasper, that feels so fucking good."

He hollowed out his cheeks and created this delicious vacuum around my cock. He grazed me with his teeth and that was all it took. I moved my hands to his hair to hold him still as I shot my cum down his throat.

He drank every drop that I offered and when he was finished he released me from his mouth. He looked up at me from under his lashes and smiled.

I pulled him back into my lap and kissed him on the lips. He leaned back and looked at me, "That's so you'll remember me."

My brows furrowed in confusion, "Jasper, I'll never forget you. I just hope that you don't forget me and that you come back to me."

He smiled, "I'll come back to you, I promise. I guess we should get going."

I slowly nodded, I didn't want to let him leave, but I knew it was for the best. At least it would be for the best for a little while.

Jasper climbed back into his seat and I handed him his shirt. I put my clothes back on and so did he. He started the car and turned around to head back to the highway. After a few more minutes of driving we were back on the main road heading towards Denali.

Not long after we got back on the road, we were pulling up into their driveway. Jasper stopped the car and I turned to look at him.

He reached for my hand and squeezed, "I'm going to miss you Edward."

"I'm going to miss you too, Jasper. Take care of yourself and I look forward to when you come back."

He smiled and I turned and climbed out of the car. I watched as he drove away and the fear of him not coming back was almost unbearable. I had to have faith that he would come back. If he didn't come back, though, I would go to him.


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