Hey there my dears, got another chapter up. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I felt like I might have rushed parts of it but I blame getting food poisoning and wanting to just get this chapter out to you guys. I promise the next one will be better but it will have a lot of angst. Either way I appreciate any and all feedback. If you like the story, know ways it could be improved, or maybe want to see something special in the fic I'd love to hear from you guys. The more I hear the more I know that people enjoy this story and it's worth continuing. Anyway I hope you enjoy!

Edit: Finished going through this chapter. Mostly, just fixed some phrasing and errors.


The loud sound of music pulsed throughout the club in time with the various colored lights that danced off the walls and gave off the only real light in the entire room. Bodies littered the dance floor as everyone pressed together in various methods of dancing, not caring if they knew the person they were dance with or not. It was all familiar to the raven haired informant. He found himself sitting at the bar every night, allowing the drinks to tell him it was alright not to think any longer.

The bartender even knew exactly what he wanted each night, that was how frequent his visits had become. By the time he was cut off each night he been highly intoxicated and usually had to have someone call him a cab. His depression had set it's dirty claws in his skin once again and had no desire to let up. The alcohol helped numb the feeling of drowning in a dark sea of nothingness and his self loathing. It didn't always help in the way that the raven needed but it was enough to allow him to feel less miserable.

Ever since the first day he had returned to Ikebukuro, Izaya had kept returning to the city nearly every day. He had even caught the interest of a handsome man that he had ended up dating for a while. It turned out the man had been a lot like her uncle and even part of the mafia, so the informant quickly ended it, even though the damage had already been dealt. It had almost been easy enough for him to avoid the pain it caused him with how the relationship made him feel needed again. It had dulled some of the mental anguish he put himself through, at least until the physical pain became too much. Izaya thought that maybe it was why he hit on nearly everyone who walked into the bar. It was unhealthy, but at least for a short amount of time it made him feel better about himself. It kept his mind on better things and kept his constant pessimism at bay.

When he saw a pretty blonde woman looking his way seductively, he grinned before moving towards her. As he sat down on the stool next to the woman he couldn't help be drawn to her deep brown eyes. His stomach churned at the comparison his mind had instantly created. It might have been for that reason or that the woman was just attractive, but he soon found himself along one of the hallways with his tongue practically down the woman's throat. It would have been fine with him, letting his imagination take over, if it hadn't been for a member of the Yellow Scarves noticing that the informant was making out with his girlfriend.

It wasn't long until he felt the pull of his shirt collar as he was lifted from the ground. Of course the man wanted to pick a fight after that display and seeing the smug look that was bound to be plastered across his face, even with knowing who the raven was. Izaya was far too gone for that fact to matter to anyone and that gave the gang member good enough motivation to kick his ass.

He felt the first punch connect with his jaw that was followed shortly by a few to his ribs. There wasn't much more than a dull ache but it was sure to be more painful the next morning. Only a few more punches connected with his body before they suddenly stopped altogether and he fell to the floor ungracefully. There were distant noises ringing in his ears but it was almost impossible to make out anything in that moment. When he felt someone gently pull him off the ground, Izaya slowly opened his eyes to be met with an intense brown eyed gaze. Not a word was spoke as he stared at the other man in front of him. Of course it had to have been Shizuo that came to his rescue. The blonde didn't have time to say anything because just as he opened his mouth to speak the police had made their way inside and over to him.

"Not again Mr. Orihara," The officer spoke in a disappointed tone.

"Not my fault... I didn't hit myself," Izaya slurred before laughing. "How many times am I going to get into trouble with you? You seem to always be the one that shows up when I'm involved."

"I'm here to keep you out of trouble." The officer said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You should call a cab and head home."

"Will do officer!" Izaya sloppily saluted before the man left. His attention was then brought back to the blonde that currently kept him standing on his feet and not face planting into the floor.

"Izaya-"

"Please don't. Don't wanna talk."

"Let me at least call you a cab. You look like shit."

"Fine, whatever. I was going to go home soon anyway," He waved her hand in dismissal.

The wait for the cab in the chilled night air felt like time was at a standstill. Izaya was seated on the curb, picking at the bottom of his shirt in an uncomfortable manner. Shizuo made him feel uneasy as the blonde just stood there with a cigarette to his lips. The gaze that was settled on the raven made him squirm as his stomach continued to churn with nerves like some stupid child. The raven didn't like the situation in the slightest.

"How long?" Izaya's gaze turned to Shizuo as the sudden words filled the silence between them.

"How long what?"

"Have you been doing this?" He motioned to the club behind them, never taking his gaze off the informant.

"Awhile," He admitted; although, he didn't want to tell the blonde that he had been drinking heavily since they had run into one another again.

A sigh escaped the blonde's lips just as the cab pulled up to them. Izaya could tell that Shizuo wanted to say more but was thankful for the cab driver's impeccable timing, not wanting to know what else was running through the other man's mind.

Izaya managed to climb in the backseat himself and give the driver his address without hurting himself or having made a fool out of himself. As the cab pulled away, Izaya saw an unfamiliar look on Shizuo's face that he couldn't quite place. His mind was not in the correct state to figure it out either.

When he had stumbled into his apartment, missing several times when he tried to place the key in the lock, he quickly changed his clothes and flopped down on his mattress. He thought about that unknown expression again but decided to try figuring out in the morning as sleep took a hold and pulled him into a dreamless night.

When morning actually came, the night was forgotten as Izaya leaned over the toilet bowl and hurled his guts into the porcelain. His entire body ached from both the terrible hangover and the punches he had received the night before. It was something he had been used to, but his body hated it just the same. It was his body's way of punishing him from his dumb mistake each day.

He let his head fall back against the cool bathroom wall as his eyes slipped shut to avoid looking at the artificial light that was illuminating the room. Izaya desperately tried to push back the pain his body was causing him as well as all the bad memories that were brought to the front of his sober mind. It honestly was a wonder that his own methods of silencing his mind and solving his problems hadn't gotten himself killed as of yet.

A Sudden shrill ring filled the silent apartment and Izaya instantly wanted to murder whoever decided that particular moment was the best time to call him. After he pulled his phone from his pocket he groaned in both irritation and agony as he saw Shinra's name across the screen.

"What Shinra?" He nearly growled lowly into the phone as he dragged out his friend's name.

"Good morning to you too. I heard you had quite an evening last night. Just wanted to call and make sure you were alright."

Izaya could feel his eyebrow twitch in irritation. Of course Shinra would call him after knowing he had a hangover. He had such a wonderful friend. As his thoughts finally caught up with him, he froze. Shinra had known what happened last night? There was only one person he knew that could have told the doctor anything other than himself and he obviously wouldn't have done that. The very thought that the idiotic blonde had spoke anything about last night made the organ in his chest beat harshly against his rib cage.

"Who told you about last night?" He asked softly, wanting to verify what he already knew.

"Um... well you see... about that-"

"Shinra answer the damn question!"

"Shizuo, alright? He was worried." Shinra stated, rambling on but Izaya was no longer listening. He couldn't have heard that correctly. Why would Shizuo be worried about him? Stupid unpredictable brute. He never understood the blonde. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? Shizuo already knew more about him than the informant would like and now here he was again, butting into parts of his life that he didn't want to share with anyone.

"Izaya are you there?" Shinra's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Yeah... I have to go. Have a lot of work to do. I'll talk to you later," before Joseph could protest he hung up. It would be a very long day at the rate it was going.

It had in fact been a terribly long day for the informant. Izaya had many clients requesting various information from him all the while his mind continued to pester him with thoughts he had no desire dealing with. That was why he, once again, found himself within his favorite club to enjoy the rest of his night. He found his usual seat at the bar and was welcomed with his usual drink. He downed it quickly and felt the slight burn in the back of his throat. It didn't take long for him to down another but couldn't help but notice someone sit down next to him out of the corner of his eye. He really hadn't expected the presence of another, so when he turned his gaze to the man that plagued his thoughts all day he was a bit startled by the fact that he was there.

"What are you doing Shizu-chan?" He asked accusingly. His breath hitched slightly when those brown orbs he liked so much looked at him with such a softness that he wasn't used to being directed towards him. At least not in quite some time.

"Though you might want the company."

"Really now? Why would I want that? Maybe I'd rather be alone," Izaya let out a strained laugh before finishing yet another drink, while his gaze remained on the blonde.

"If that was true then you wouldn't continue trying to seduce everyone who sits at the bar."

"Stupid Shizu-chan," Izaya muttered softly into his glass, "Butting in where he's not wanted."

That was the last the two had spoken to one another for the rest of that night. With Shizuo being there it had made things rather uncomfortable for the raven, but instead paying the blonde any attention, Izaya chose to ignore him. When the bartender cut Izaya off from any more drinks, he stumbled out of the club after avoiding pissing anyone off for the night. It didn't take long for his gaze to drift towards the blonde who had a cigarette between his lips as he leaned on a cab with his arms crossed over his chest. The informant almost wanted to glare, knowing for a fact that the other man had called the cab for him.

"What do you think you are doing?" He spat drunkenly as he marched over to the blonde.

"What does it look like? Called you a cab," Shizuo told him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I don't understand! We are enemies that hate each other! You're not supposed to be helping me. Not that I want the help anyway!" He spat angrily.

Shizuo put out his cigarette and looked up at him with that strange expression that he couldn't decipher, but that could have been because he always seemed to be intoxicated at the time. Izaya could read people as well as he could read a book but Shizuo had always been the exception, even sober. He had never quite known what was running through the blonde's mind or how he felt. All he had ever been able to tell was when Shizuo was angry, but anyone could easily distinguish that. It frustrated him more than he cared to admit, not that he ever would out loud.

Mumbling angrily to himself, he pushed past Shizuo and climbed into the backseat. He had no desire to speak with the other at that moment and, to his relief, the blonde didn't try to as he moved over to the sidewalk. His eyes locked with Shizuo's for a moment before he quickly looked away. He only looked back again once he was sure the other couldn't see him. A sigh left the raven's lips as Shizuo remained standing in the same spot watching the retreating cab with yet another cigarette between his lips.

"Stupid..." Izaya muttered to himself before he turned and waited to be taken back to his apartment. The image of Shizuo's strange expression still on his mind until he finally laid down to sleep.

For the next few weeks the same routine played throughout Izaya's evenings. He'd show up at the club, sit at the bar and then shortly be joined by Shizuo. They wouldn't typically speak to one another for most of the night and when they did the conversation didn't consist of much. Shizuo would then call the raven a cab and he would go home. It was strange and Izaya grew more suspicious of the reason that lead the blonde there and to sit next to him every night. Was it to watch over him? To prevent anyone, other than Shizuo himself from kicking his ass?

Izaya stopped midway in the motion of bringing his latest glass to his lips before he dropped it on the counter, spilling the remains and most likely cracking the glass. His eyes widen as his gaze turned to the blonde next to him as the realization hit him. The only reason he was there had been due to the fateful day, what felt like forever ago. His actions were all because he witnessed something he shouldn't have. What was the idiot thinking? It didn't change anything back then and it sure as hell didn't now. Either way, he couldn't handle being there any longer as anxiety began to dig its claws into him.

"Send me a bill," He told the bartender before he quickly stood up and rushed out of the building, desperate to put distance between him and Shizuo.

The cold autumn air was harsh as it hit him and nearly knocked out the little amount of his own air that he held in his lungs. His breathing became uneven as his eyes darted around in a panic. The swift movement of both his exit and rush to find an escape made his head spin as the alcohol in his system came into effect. It made him nauseous and unsteady on his feet but he ignored it, his own fear outweighing anything else at that moment.

At the sound of his name he saw the tall blonde try and make his way over toward him. Izaya felt the panic rush through him at full force and the need to get away had him quickly taking off in a run. His speed and movement were hindered greatly by the alcohol but he didn't care as long as he remained in front of Shizuo. The brute seemed to notice the change since he had easily caught up. This caused the raven to push harder to get away, not ready for the confrontation that was bound to happen.

It wasn't until headlights filled his vision and the blaring of a horn rang loudly in his ears that Izaya had ceased his movements, completely frozen in terror. Although it was only a few seconds, that moment felt like it was moving in slow motion as he stared into the headlights that he was sure would collide with his body. Sure he had taken some hits before but at the speed the car was traveling Izaya wasn't sure he would still be breathing after the car hit him.

Right before the oncoming car could actually collide with his body and end his life, a strong hand grabbed his arm and nearly threw him on the sidewalk. As Izaya opened his eyes, that he hadn't realized had closed, he saw Shizuo towering over him. A hand was offered to help him up, which Izaya eyed warily. There was a hesitation before he slowly took the offered hand. The informant decided that he likely wouldn't have been able to bring himself to his feet, which was proven to be correct with how unstable he felt when he was standing again.

Izaya just stared at Shizuo, not happy that the blonde had actually caught up to him, while also trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was still alive and breathing and not roadkill. It seemed the brute held the record for saving his life countless times for no apparent reason. The raven turned around and began to walk away from the blonde that had saved his life but a hand quickly grabbed his arm, causing him to flinch.

"Wait," Shizuo muttered, almost sounding desperate to the informant.

"Why? What do you want from me?" Izaya spoke softly as he turned back around and stared helplessly, knowing he couldn't run away again. Shizuo was silent for a moment and the raven thought the man wouldn't say anything at all. That was when that damn look appeared on his face again.

"The truth."

"About what?" It was safe to say that he knew what Shizuo wanted to know but it didn't change the fact that he would rather avoid topic as best as she could manage in his current state.

"Everything. Why you're nearly drinking yourself to death every night? Why you've avoided me like the plague?" There was a small pause before he took a breath and spoke words that Izaya had wished never left the man's mouth. "What happened in that alley?"

"You were there Shizu-chan. You know what happened." His gaze was cast down as he spoke with such a broken voice that it would have made the optimistic Shinra Kishitani cringe. The feeling of suffocating was slowly enveloping him the longer he stood there. This was what he had wanted to avoid all along.

"No, I don't. I saw the end of it and only know what the officers told me, which wasn't much."

"That's all you need to know." And that's already too much. He thought to himself.

"Does Shinra even know?"

"No and I'd like to keep it that way." He knew that it was only a matter of time before her friend found out about her past but the longer he didn't the better. Izaya didn't need the pity that he was sure to gain from such information being found out.

"Is he the reason you're doing this to yourself?"

Izaya avoided the blonde's gaze as the unwanted topic refused to be left alone. Shizuo just didn't seem to want to drop the subject no matter how obvious it was that he didn't want to talk about it. Just the mere thought of that day and all the other memories that involved his uncle made his stomach twist painfully and his head to spin even further. The man no longer was alive but somehow still continued to haunt the raven with all the terrible memories he had left behind.

"I'm not doing anything, now please leave me alone." Izaya inhaled sharply as he realized what he had just said. He was nearly begging Shizuo to drop the subject. The only time he ever begged or pleased in his life was with the bastard who he ruined his life. Shizuo was the last person Izaya had ever expected to plead with.

"Yes you are. Do you not realize that this is going to get you killed? You almost got hit by a fucking car moments ago! We're all worried about you. I'm worried about you." The last words Izaya barely heard with how soft they were muttered, but he had managed to catch them nonetheless.

"Why would you be worried about me? You're supposed to hate me. I'm just a flea to you remember?" He muttered, not able to think clearly enough for his liking.

"I don't hate you Izaya. Never actually did. Sure you aggravate me but I never really gave you a chance back then. I saw you as a threat and the fact that I could never catch or lay a finger on you during our chases made me angry."

Izaya almost felt like this was some sick joke that life decided to pull. That had to have been it, this was some horrible joke and he missed the punchline. It was the only option that made any sense at that moment and he was not drunk enough to deal with any of it. Not wanting to there any longer he once again turned to walk away but Shizuo swiftly moved in front of him.

"Shizuo, get out of my way." He commanded, still trying to get around the blonde.

"Not until you talk to me."

"Why should I? My life is none of your damn business!" Izaya spat angrily. He was getting tired of this and just wanted to go home.

"God damn it flea! I care about you alright!" Shizuo yelled in frustration, causing everyone in the area to look at the pair.

"Wh-what?" Izaya chocked out, his eyes a bit wide in surprise.

"You heard me damn it. Don't make me repeat myself," Shizuo nearly growled.

"You never fail to surprise me." He said as he rubbed his temple, willing his head to stop spinning, even if he was sure the action wouldn't help at all.

"So will you please talk to me?" Shizuo tried again. Izaya sighed knowing Shizuo wasn't about to drop the subject no matter how hard he tried to get him to and the informant really didn't want to stand there all night, mostly with the various eyes now trained upon them. It made him even more uneasy.

"Fine, but not here. Take me home and I'll tell you whatever you want to know." Izaya spoke in defeat. He had invited the brute into his home. Hopefully the decision wouldn't come back to bite him in the end. Either way, by the end of the night the blonde would know secrets that Izaya had never shared with anyone and there was no getting out of it this time.