Chapter Two.

The next few years of my life were great! I was living the sweet life, Isildur and I in the totally awesome city of Minas Tirith. I was pampered constantly-seriously, I was even given my own tiny bed-and my life was as good as a ring's life can be. I could've gone on like that forever…but no such luck. A living ring's life can get pretty tough.

The really bad times of my life began when Isildur decided to go on a Dork hunt. Apparently, those creepy guys were still out there. I was pretty excited. I guess the thrill of the hunt gets to all males, even if they happen to be inanimate objects. But whatever.

Anywho, we were traveling through these woods, a few warriors on horseback behind us, and I was feeling pretty cool. That is, until a bunch of Dorks decided to ambush us. Stupid gravelly voiced jerks. So Isildur was fighting them and all, when he got shot with a bunch of arrows and fell into a lake.

Okay, here there's a huge misunderstanding. Everyone seems to think that I deserted Isildur right then. Just another addition to my large amount of bad publicity. Darn Sauron for starting all that. The point is, Isildur friggin' dropped me! And even if he hadn't, what in the name of Gandalf was I supposed to do?! Throw myself in front of the arrows?!? I'M A RING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!

Phew. Sorry 'bout that. Had to get out some suppressed anger. It leads to a bad back you know. Wait a sec…I don't have a back, so what am I worried about? Meh.

Anyway, I slowly sunk to the bottom of the lake. Thus began the most boring time of my life, hands down. Just sitting there in that lake, watching all the various types of fish. After a while, I started to wish that I would get swallowed by one of them, just so something would happen. That proved that you should be careful what you wish for, as it was equally boring-and twice as disgusting-in that trout's digestive system.

After it seemed like I would shrivel up out of sheer boredom, something happened that would make my life even worse. Up at the surface, I saw a small boat with two equally small people in it. They seemed to be fishing, and I hoped that they would nail that stupid trout that had gobbled me a week before. No such luck.

They almost caught a big one though. Apparently these people were as weak as they were small, 'cause the fish freakin' pulled one guy under the water. It was actually pretty funny. I was desperately needing some good entertainment. The dude ended up letting go of the line though, which ended the humorous show.

Hey, he just spotted me! Is he…could it be…YES!!!! HE GRABBED ME!!!! GOODBYE BORING LAKE!!!! YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAW!!

As you can probably tell, I had been in that lake for far too long.

Anyway, I was really happy to be free once more. The dude took me over to his fishing partner, and showed me to him. Uh oh. My dashing good looks strike again. This dude wants me now. Wait a second, what did he just say? "It's my birthday, and I wants it." I hoped he realized that he had just made an atrocious grammar mistake.

What the…they were wrestling over me! Okay people, let's not get carried away. I thought nervously. There's enough of me for everyone…Hey hey hey, no choking! Okay, that's definitely not cool! Stop that right now! I said stop! STOP IT!!!! QUIT IT OR YOU'RE GONNA'…kill…him.

You read right. The bad grammered guy killed the other one. Why, oh why oh why, did the third guy to own me have to end up killed too? What's wrong with my life here people?!?

The murderer guy picked me up and smiled. And my friend, we are talking about some serious creepiness here. That was one disturbing grin. And what he said has turned out to be my most hated two words, no question. "My precioussssss…."

Thus began the flat out worst, and I mean the WORST period of my ring life.