AN: FINALLY!!! Wow, it's been over a year for such a short chapter...because I honestly haven't really worked on it. I still want to finish this story, so that's why I'm just posting this...filler(?)...I guess I could call it. I feel bad it's so short but I've gotten the notifications of people adding the story to favorites and I had to put something up! So Thank you all so much!
So, this chapter has some backstory, too. Hopefully to clear some things up, etc.
Warnings are the same (drugs, death, shitload of angst, etc etc.) And I still don't own anything...
Cloud opened his eyes to his horribly familiar and dark room. His light blue curtains and accents, white bed sheets, and dark brown wood were all different shades of grey. The blinds were almost fully closed, only a few streaks of light shone through the bottom, telling Cloud that it was daytime. He didn't even bother looking at his bedside clock. He didn't care. The longer he sat, the more pain he began to feel.
His eyes were dry and probably red from crying, his throat was scratchy from screaming and his stomach ached from lack of food. When he tried to move, his muscles were stiff and his joints cracked slightly. He shut his eyes tight again. It wasn't just the physical pain. It was far worse than that.
He thought about what happened two days ago for what seemed like the hundredth time. Seeing Kairi…but seeing…him. All he could do was think about the painful past, and he couldn't block it out.
Squall left him. It was five years ago. He left him in the dark. That's when he lost control.
Aerith died that night. Sephiroth left the party early, but then he came back. He was going too fast, he swerved, he hit her. They said she died instantly and didn't feel any pain. But, God, Cloud did. He used more and more. He'd tried everything. He never had much of a family. His foster parents kicked him out.
After he left home, he stayed with Riku. Riku could get drugs, god knows from where, but he got them and that was all Cloud needed. Everything was great, for a while anyway. Then Cloud needed more and more, and when Riku couldn't get it he went crazy. He stayed up for days on end; when he did sleep, he'd wake up in places he didn't remember ever going to, with people he didn't remember meeting. When Riku kicked him out, he lived on the streets. He had no where else to go. The only people he knew were Riku and anybody he had a one night stand with. He got money by any means necessary. He stole, he begged, he slept with anyone who would give him some spare change. Somehow he'd gotten out of Hollow Bastion and ended up in Midgar.
Then Tifa found him. But it wasn't that easy. Nothing is ever easy.
Tifa was smart though. She tricked him; saying she'd give him what he wanted. He went with her, and she told him to stay at her house for a while. Then she'd give him the cash. She managed to call the hospital without Cloud noticing, and when he saw the flashing lights through the window he made a run for it. Not before he knocked down Tifa when she tried to stop him. He doesn't remember much after that. He ran for a while, but Midgar was unfamiliar and he didn't know where to go. They caught him.
He was fully awake in the hospital a few days later. They told him he had AIDS, multiple STD's and other diseases, and he would have to go through intense rehab and psychotherapy. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was prescribed at least five different medications.
Cloud had replayed the events of his life in his head over and over again. He was about to sink back into seclusion when the phone rang. He didn't answer it. When the answering machine clicked on, Cloud sat up slightly. It was silent for a few seconds, as if the person was thinking of what to say. 'Who…?'
"Cloud…it's… Squall."
Cloud went cold.
"Please call me. Or come over. I want to see you…talk to you… please. I'm apartment eight, near the Midgar Plaza. Please, just…come…"
The machine clicked off and Cloud still sat, completely frozen. 'How…did he find me?' He thought. 'I can't…he left me. I can't, I won't go. How can I…? But he…he…Oh, God...'
Cloud started to panic, but he couldn't understand why. He started breathing faster and faster. He put his head in his hands trying to calm down, but he couldn't control himself. He started shaking and when he looked up the room was spinning and he had to close his eyes. Tears started falling from his eyes as he tried to orientate himself. He couldn't stop crying, and he started panicking more. It felt like his chest was constricting and he couldn't breathe.
He leaned over and clenched his comforter in his hands. His eyes were still closed tightly as he tried to force back the tears that just kept coming. He breathed as deep and as hard as he could. He finally let out a few deep breaths, and his grip on his bed loosened. He collapsed, and fell asleep.
Cloud awoke to sound of someone's voice beckoning him to wake up, and hands shaking his shoulders. He slowly opened his eyes to Tifa kneeling by the bed.
"Cloud!? Thank God you're finally awake!" she cried, trying to help him sit up.
"I thought you were…out of town…" he asked confused, his voice cracking when he spoke.
Tifa froze staring at him, burning holes in his eyes. "Cloud…it's…Wednesday morning…have you…how long have you been in here!?" Her voice was frantic.
Cloud didn't even know the answer. Had it really been that long?
Tifa cried out again getting up quickly. "Oh my God, you have to eat something! Jesus! Have you taken your medication!?" Without waiting for a reply she ran to the bathroom, returning with bottles of prescription drugs. "Here, I'll get water." She pushed the bottles to Cloud, and he slowly accepted them. Disoriented, he stared at the labels. "Retrovir - Take three capsules twice a day," "Zyprexa - Take one tablet once a day with water," "Norpramin – Take 100 milligrams each night," they said. (1)
When Tifa returned with a large glass of water she got out the necessary dose of each prescription. "When was the last time you took these?" she asked.
"I guess…it was…Saturday…"
She sighed heavily as she handed him the first dose and the glass of water. "Don't do this to me now, Cloud. Please don't. I can't lose you…"
Cloud didn't say anything. He took the rest of the medication with Tifa in silence. He finished the water and put the glass on the nightstand. Another minute or so of silence passed before Tifa spoke.
"Cloud…I know what happened, and why you're like this," she said carefully.
Cloud's head shot up to look at her, a questioning expression on his face.
She sighed and continued. "I…talked to Le-I mean…Squall…"
Cloud felt his already deteriorating world crumble instantly. How could Tifa talk to Squall? It was impossible; she hadn't talked to Squall since high school. He left…
"I always stayed in touch with him after graduation. He went to school at Balamb University. He became a doctor, like he always wanted to," (2) her attempt to lighten the situation failed as Cloud still sat in shocked silence. "After Zack died…he went back to Hollow Bastion, and then moved here. He works at the hospital."
Cloud took in what Tifa said. After Zack died? That was…last year. Squall had been here for a year…
"I never talked about you. I told him I didn't know where you were. I couldn't tell him not to come here without him asking why. He told me he saw you. I just wanted to…to help you. I didn't want…this…to happen…" A few tears fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Cloud, I am, I just wanted…to protect you…"
"You knew he was here?" Cloud said, becoming furious. "And you didn't tell me? You kept this from me!"
"Cloud, please…"
"No! You betrayed me!" He shouted rising from the bed.
"What are you talking about? Cloud, don't do this!"
Cloud's anger was so intense he groped for words. "How…how could you just…forget that he left me!?"
Tifa looked at him in disbelief. "Cloud, why are you like this? I didn't want you to react like this!" she cried.
"What did you expect? After he left me! He left me, Tifa!"
"And you left me!" she exploded, and Cloud's eyes went wide. "You left, too, or did you forget that!? And did you ever think for a second why he left!? He couldn't bear to see you killing yourself everyday! You hurt him more than he could have ever hurt you. He told you to quit, but you never did. How do you think he'd feel if he saw you like I did? He had to save himself…" she cried as she broke out in sobs.
"Tifa…I…" but Cloud didn't know what to say.
"Just…forget it…" she mumbled, getting up and wiping her eyes.
"Wait…"
"No, I have to go. Just go and see him, okay? That's all I'm asking," she finished, her tone cold but pleading, as she quickly left the room. Cloud heard his door slam shut and he fell to the bed.
(1) I did a bit of research about side effects of meth and drugs, and then looked up some medications. Now, the combination I listed could kill you for all I know...but I'm just warning you that it could be inaccurate.
(2) Let's just pretend Leon is a genius, kay? Ha, I realized that that was quite a short time to become a doctor....
END NOTE: So, there you go! I'm sorry if its not what you were expecting and crappy. I WILL continue, I PROMISE! I actually started another story (shame on me) which I'll probably post soon, but as soon as I get a good idea on how these two emos will meet each other without it being too corny and stuff...I'll write it!Again, thank you guys so much for reading!
(Hope you all had good holidays, too!)
