It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed overhead as the rain came down in sheets. In other words, it was another typical day on Spooky Island.
...Or was it? At the center of the island, beneath the summer home that sat there, deep below the surface… science was happening.
"Muahahahahaha!" The evil laughter of Cameron Campbell rang through the basement laboratory. "At last! My greatest creation is complete! They laughed at me… they said it couldn't be done! Well we'll see who's laughing now!"
Electricity surged, and smoke billowed from strange machinery. Out in the wilderness, a wolf howled. Generators hummed to life as he flipped the final switch. The din grew louder and the electricity brighter until…
DING
"Finally! It's done!" Campbell opened the microwave door. He pulled out the plate inside and held it over his head in triumph. "The perfect microwaved ham sandwich!"
He lowered the plate to get a better look at it, glee visible in his eyes. "Suck it, all you haters that said a toaster oven is the only way to prepare a hot ham and cheese… Hm?" A semi-mutated fly had discovered the sandwich, and now descended upon it. Campbell wasn't keen to share it, however. "Buzz off, you," he said, flicking it away.
The fly flew across the room, straight into a live circuit, blowing the power.
"Sunnuva-IGOR!" he yelled into the dark. "The power tripped again! Bring me a light!"
The secret door rotated, and through it came a hunched-over old man holding a lit lantern. "Yes, master," he said obediently.
"Shut up, Igor. We need to get the power back on. I can't enjoy my sandwich in this dark! And for god's sake man, I know the sandwich looks good, but stop drooling on my shoulder!"
"...Sir." Igor was still standing in front of the hidden door, a good ways away from Campbell.
"...Ah. It's one of the experiments behind me, isn't it?"
Igor shook his head.
"...It's two of them."
He nodded this time.
"Well, fuck."
What ensued was a dimly lit battle to the death between Campbell, the hook-nosed lizard beast, and the flannelmonster. Igor was hesitant to jump into the fray himself, but he was no slouch. Carefully, carefully, trying not to attract attention, he snuck over to the breaker box.
He flipped the breaker, flooding the laboratory in bright fluorescent light once more. The beasts suddenly found themselves blinded!
"Good job Igor! I might pay you this month!" Campbell praised his assistant, before giving the beasts a swift kick, pushing them away. Unfortunately, the hook-nosed lizard beast's keen sense of smell payed off, as it flicked its tongue out, grabbing the ham sandwich.
"Nooo!" Campbell yelled, grabbing at air. "My sandwich!"
The two creatures collided with Igor, and the three fell into a strange capsule, which immediately closed behind them.
"Oh no! Not the combinatorier!" But it was too late. The machine had already begun to hum, combinatoring the components into a unified whole.
DING
White smoke flooded the room as the door opened. Campbell's eyes widened in horror. "One quarter man… One quarter flannel… One quarter hook… and one quarter ham sandwich! He's-"
"THE QUARTERMASTER!"
"What the hell?" Max said. "Neil just because he smells like an old ham sandwich doesn't mean he actually is one."
"Well have you ever tasted him?" Nikki questioned. "It's definitely a possibility you know."
"Look you saw all that spooky lab equipment on Spooky Island, what else would Campbell have been using it for?"
"Eurgh, don't remind me about that." Max made a face. "I'm trying to repress that memory."
"Well if he's not an international super spy," said Nikki, "and he's not a ham sandwich, then what's your take, Max?"
