I did post this chapter once before, but for some reason it wasn't showing up. I'm assuming that it was a glitch in the website or something. I think it should be showing up for you all now :)

To make a long story short, I cleaned out the documents on my computer (end of the semester ritual) and accidentally deleted the first two chapters of this and before I realized it...cleared out my trash bin. So...I had to re-write it. I'm a dumbass, you can say it.

On another note, starting now, I'm going to try this new thing where I don't write 1,000,000 word author's notes and just let my writing speak for itself :)

P.S. Check out the first part of my *new* short, 4 part story, "Love Me or Don't." :)


Chapter One

March 12th, 2010

The gunshots rang out, one after another in a heartbreaking rhythm. The sound cracked loudly through the silent cemetery…but no one flinched even a single muscle. The air was stale and thick, the wind almost nonexistent as the leaves of the trees remained still. The clouds were gray, cloaking everything underneath them in a dreary shadow. The weather was a perfect representation of the mood of every person standing in that cemetery.

There was nothing but silence as the second set of ceremonial gunshots rang out. The sound seemed to last forever.

Nathan Scott tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his navy dress shirt. He hated wearing his blues. The wool dress coat felt heavy against his body, the fabric scratching uncomfortably against his skin. The black tie wrapped around his neck was suffocating him.

The thing he hated the most was the fact that wearing his blues never meant anything good—meetings with internal affairs, high caliber trials, memorials…funerals.

When the air settled, Keith Scott stepped up the podium. Medals of honor adorned his uniform, showcasing his years of service to the sullen crowd. His dark hair was neatly combed back, a far cry from his usual messy-just-rolled-out-of-bed look. Every part of his appearance was polished—his shoulders squared in mask authority and eyes narrowed. His walk was rhythmic…almost robotic.

Nathan was only ten when he decided that he wanted to be just like his uncle. He quickly became fascinated with the police force and how it operated—the hustle and bustle of the police station where everyone seemed to have a purpose, the adrenaline that came from the simple switch of a siren, the intellectual challenge and exhaustion that came from solving cases. He could never get it out of his head. Many times, he practically begged on his knees for Keith to take him into the office any day that he could.

Keith was more than just a day-cop. For him, it was more than being out on the street and protecting citizens from immediate danger. He went after the high caliber threats, the ones that lurked in the shadows at night and hid behind innocent faces during the day. He was a detective in the criminal intelligence unit…by far the most dangerous unit in the entire police force. He started off as just a regular member of the relatively small unit in Tree Hill, North Carolina. Eventually, he worked his way up to sergeant and was transferred to New York. It was a no-brainer whether Nathan was going to follow him or not.

Growing up, Keith was the only father-figure Nathan had. His dad, Dan Scott, skipped town a couple of months after he and his brother were born. Apparently knocking up two women at relatively the same time was too much for him. For the most part, Nathan tried not to think about his dad much. It was hard to miss someone that he never knew, but that didn't stop him from wondering what could have been every once in a while. On the other hand, his brother—the sentimental one out of the two of them—held enough resentment for the both of them.

The sound of Keith clearing his throat over the microphone had Nathan's attention snapping back to the present.

"Today is not about injustice. It's not about the unsolved cases or the events that took place that brought us here. It's about more than the badges on our uniforms or the danger that comes from wearing those badges. It's about honor, family, and love. We're all family here, regardless of the blood running through our veins. We're in this together, to lean on each other in times of need and sorrow."

He spoke with such a smooth and relaxing voice. The authority and sincerity in his voice caused goosebumps to coat Nathan's skin. He tried not to think about the familiarity in his voice, though. It was clear he wasn't a rookie at these kinds of speeches.

"Today, we are here to think about and mourn the life of Tim Smith. He was an exceptional detective—hardworking, charismatic, and loyal. His dedication to the city of New York was inspiring and humbling, something that I'm sure my entire team hopes to embody one day."

Keith paused and shifted his gaze to Nathan, to which he awkwardly squirmed in his seat. He knew what was coming and he wasn't sure he was ready.

"The best way to honor Tim Smith would be to hear from somebody who was the closest to him. His partner of two years, Nathan Scott, has prepared a eulogy for this evening. Nathan, you're up."

The lump that had formed in Nathan's throat grew in size as a few heads turned to look at him. You got this, Nathan.

Approaching the podium, Nathan kept his eyes forward and his walk steady. His heart was erratically beating, from nerves or sorrow, he wasn't sure. It wasn't until he caught sight of the casket in his peripheral vision did he falter. The American flag was draped over the silver structure—red, white, and blue blurring together as his eyes started to water. He didn't dare lift his gaze to the easel perched next to the casket with Tim's smiling face plastered on it.

Nathan shared a soft smile with Keith before they traded places. Pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, Nathan placed it on the clipboard and smoothed it over. He wasn't an eloquent speaker and when it came to putting his feelings into words, he failed tremendously.

When he slowly lifted his head, he met the broken gaze of Tim's wife, Bevin. His stomach lurched, a queasy feeling washing over him. Her hand was resting in her lap, holding her son's hand in a tight embrace. Her shoulders were shaking and her lips were pursed tightly as tears poured down her cheeks. The quintessential image of a broken widow.

Images of the night Tim died flashed through his mind. Nathan was the one to break the news to his family. He swore he could still feel the weight of Bevin in his arms when she collapsed into him. Her tears had soaked into his shirt as he stood there, helpless. He couldn't think of a single thing to say that would help ease her pain.

It took a lot to bring Nathan Scott to his knees…but the sight before him might just be enough.

Before the silence turned awkward, Nathan cleared his throat and lowered his head to the small mic.

"They teach you a lot of things at the academy," he began. "They teach you how to shoot a gun, how to correctly conduct a criminal investigation, self-defense…the list goes on. But what they don't teach you is how to handle situations like these, because no one wants to think about the 'what if's' or the 'maybes' that come with this line of work."

Nathan paused to swallow. His dry throat threatened a cough, but he held it in.

"I feel as if the best way to honor Tim Smith wouldn't be to give a long and emotional speech, as we all know Tim didn't have a serious bone in his body. So, I'm going to keep this short and simple."

A sad, but confirming chuckle rumbled through the rows of family and friends.

Nathan fought to keep the soft smile on his face as he spoke.

"Tim made this job easier. At the start of every shift, he always had the utmost energy and most days, that translated into jokes you'd probably find on the back of cereal box. He was always so positive…even when we hit the nastiest of snags in cases."

He took a calming breath to keep himself from choking up.

"I couldn't have asked for a better partner. He was a hell of a detective and an even better friend. It's going to be hard walking into our office every day and not seeing him."

~x~

"Are my eyes deceiving me or is Keller actually flirting with Bevin right now?" Clay Evans asked in disbelief as he slid into the empty spot on the couch next to Nathan.

Tossing a glance over his shoulder, Nathan chuckled at the sight. Chris had one arm propped against the doorway and his body was slanted, feet crossed at the ankles. He was talking Bevin's ear off, occasionally smirking and purposely brushing his hand over her shoulder. He was giving off all the classic signs that he was turning on the charm. However, Bevin—who's eyes were still puffy and had tissues still clutched in the palm of her hand—didn't seem extremely put off by Chris' actions.

"That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," Nathan commented as he turned back around. "He's like a dog in heat when it comes to vulnerable women."

"He has no morals," Julian Baker chimed in. "The only thing I've learned from being his partner for the last year is that he seriously doesn't have a single moral. I've watched him try to get the number of some of our perpetrators."

They shared a short chuckle before silence engulfed them. Mindless chatter floated through the lobby of the funeral home. Most people were heading out, offering pleasant greetings and goodbyes to familiar faces. Everything still felt surreal, almost dreamlike.

Tim's death had been something of a freak accident. He was working undercover as a member of an artillery black market that was lurking in the tunnels beneath New York. Everything was going great until a rivalry group got wind of a huge deal that was going through. They opened fire on the entire cartel, killing almost every single member. There really wasn't anything anyone could have done.

"How do we move past this?" Julian asked shakily, breaking up the silence.

"I've been asking myself the same thing," Clay mumbled.

Nathan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. The heaviness in his heart hit him full force. "Something like this stays with you forever."

Clay sighed, running a hand over his tired face. "I wish that there was something more we could have done."

"There was no way anyone could have predicted us. That rival carter just formed a couple of months ago and managed to stay under everyone's radar," Julian jumped in. "We can't and shouldn't blame ourselves for this."

"Let's not talk about this right now," Nathan offered up. He could feel the emotions rising between all of them and after an already emotionally exhausting day, they needed a breather.

"Nate." A familiar voice called from behind them.

Nathan whipped around to see Lucas standing there, decked out in a black suit. His wife, Lindsey, was on his arm, also adorned in a black ensemble.

"Luke!" Nathan gasped, surprised. He jumped up from the couch and made his way over to the couple. "I told you that you guys didn't have to fly up for this."

Lucas and Lindsey still resided in Tree Hill, North Carolina. He owned a small bookstore down there, as well as being a literature professor at one of the community colleges. Lindsey, on the other hand, was an editor for the local newspaper. They met in college and married about two years ago. In Nathan's eyes, they were perfect for each other. Although they lived in Tree Hill, Nathan saw them pretty often. Mostly on holidays, but sometimes during random weekend trips.

"I know," Lucas said while giving Nathan a quick hug. "But we figured it was the right thing to do."

"It's good to see you guys," Nathan exclaimed after he gave Lindsey a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How are you holding up?" Lindsey asked.

Nathan sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm hanging in there the best that I can, I guess."

"We're here for you if you need anything, you know, that, right?" Lucas reminded him.

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, I know. Thank you. How long are you guys in town for?"

"A few weeks," Lindsay answered.

Nathan's eyes widened. "A few weeks? Not that I'm complaining, but why so long?"

They both exchanged excited glances, confusing Nathan even further.

"We're getting in contact with a real estate agent here," Lindsey began to explain. "We figured it was time for us to move up here."

"Really?" Nathan felt his mood increase tenfold by that little tidbit of information.

Growing up, Nathan had always been close to Lucas. They always had each other's backs and basically told each other everything. They were brothers, but they were also best friends. Living so far from each other, it was quite the adjustment. Having Lucas close again might just be the one thing Nathan needed.

Lucas nodded. "We've been thinking about it for a while now. Most of our family is here and we figured now is a good time than ever. Especially since…well, since…"

Lucas trailed off and once again, shared a secret smile with Lindsey.

"Okay, you two are really starting to freak me out," Nathan joked, squaring his hands on his hips. "What do you two know that I don't?"

"I'm pregnant," Lindsey blurted out with a sheepish smile.

A wide smile broke out on Nathan's face as he quickly engulfed them both in a hug. "That's fantastic! You two sure know how to turn a shitty day to good."

Lucas laughed, patting Nathan on the back. "Glad we could help."

~x~

Nathan plopped down at his desk and rubbed his hands across his face. His shoulders slumped even further when he noticed how many files were waiting for him to go through. The last thing he felt like doing was starting another case. His partner was just killed in the line of duty and they just expected him to continue on with cases like nothing happened.

He couldn't even glance at Tim's empty desk without feeling like he was going to throw up. His things had been boxed up and given to his wife a couple of days before the funeral. Now all that was left was dust silhouettes were picture frames used to sit.

The worst part was that they were going to find him a replacement partner almost instantly. He knew it was protocol. A unit as busy and important as his could afford to be understaffed for long. That didn't stop it from bothering him, though. Shuffling someone else in before the dirt had settled…it was like wiping away Tim's memory, acting as if he didn't exist in the first place. It made him sick.

But as much as he hated it and as sick as he felt, he couldn't let those feelings control him. He had a higher power to answer to. All of the files on his desk…those people deserved justice. This was his job, one that he'd been dedicated to for the last four years. In some ways, his dedication was his vice. Almost nothing got in the way of his job…almost nothing.

"Scott, my office," Keith announced as he ascended the stairs. His eyes never left the large manila folder in his hands, diligently flipping through the pages without missing a beat in his step.

Ignoring the looks of his invasive colleagues, Nathan slipped out of his desk chair and headed towards his sergeant's office. He rolled his eyes and tossed a middle finger over his shoulder when Chris whistled "somebody's in trouble." A round of snickers followed his retreating figure and Nathan bit back a smile.

"Close the door behind you," Keith said as he removed his coat and placed it carefully on the back of his chair.

After doing what he was told, Nathan plopped his body down on one of the waiting chairs. Keith's office was barely larger than a shoe box, containing only a wooden desk, two sofa-stuffed chairs, and a large filing cabinet. Lining his desk was a series of picture frames, all containing pictures of his wife, their daughter, and few that featured Nathan and Lucas. Above everything, Keith was a family man. That was something Nathan admired him for.

"You've been assigned a new partner," Keith announced as he took a seat behind his desk. He was never one to beat around the bush.

Nathan arched an eyebrow. "Already?" He figured that Keith wanted to talk to him about where he stood regarding the absence of his partner, but he didn't expect to have a replacement this soon. Things like that usually took a few days…not less than twenty-four hours.

Keith nodded, clasping his hands together on his desk. "A detective at the 13th district in Long Island was already in line for a transfer when the spot opened up. She's on her way over here right now."

Nathan scrunched his nose and ran his fingers through his hair. "The 13th district to here? That's quite the jump."

"She was desperate to get out of there," Keith said with a chuckle. "The criminal intelligence unit in Long Island is much smaller and baseless. But there is something that you need to know about her."

"Please don't tell me she's a rookie," Nathan groaned, sinking further into his seat. The last thing he wanted was a partner he'd have to babysit or show the ropes to. He didn't have the patience for that and it would put a real damper on the way he usually liked to operate his cases. He hated anything that slowed him down.

"No. She actually joined the force about the same time you did," Keith explained with a quick shake of his head. "She's the Chief of State Police's daughter."

As soon as those words left Keith's mouth, Nathan's stomach knotted up. Nathan wasn't scared of anything, except the Chief of State Police. Most people referred to him as the "New York Nazi." He was ruthless and the most apathetic person Nathan has ever met. No one had ever seen him smile. In fact, Nathan was convinced that he couldn't smile and that his face was permanently frozen in an angry scowl.

If his new partner was the Chief of State Police's daughter, he was going to be under some major scrutiny.

"This stays between us," Keith picked up again, lowly. "But Chief isn't exactly thrilled about his daughter's career choice. If it were up to him, she'd be kept far, far away from this line of work. With that being said, he's asked me to tell you that he wants you to keep an eye on her. To protect her, basically."

Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat. "Uh, yeah…I can do that."

"I know you can," Keith commented surely. "Chief requested that I pair her up with my best and safest detective. He even signed off on allowing me to move around partners if I had to in order to make that happen. But, I told him that you were the best in my unit and you were more than capable of taking care of his daughter."

Nathan didn't know what to say. He was honored…but he was also terrified out of his mind. He'd been given a lot of responsibilities over the years as a detective, including going undercover on some of the most dangerous cases, but this felt so much bigger than that. So much more career threatening. The Chief could have his job with a snap of his fingers if he screwed this up.

"You're looking a little pale, Nate," Keith chuckled.

He cleared his throat. "I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting this."

"I have faith in you," Keith praised before something caught his attention just outside his office. "Oh, look, she's here."

Nathan tilted his head to see out the window in Keith's office. His mouth dropped open when he saw who was walking into their little clove.

He couldn't believe his eyes. There was no way…

He watched as the petite brunette crossed the room confidently, heading straight to Keith's office. Her white blouse and black slacks were in mint condition, not a single wrinkle or fly away string of fabric in sight. Even her hair was pin straight, every strand in its respective place. Apparently, her need to be perfect at everything she did in life hadn't changed over the years.

She looked…amazing, though. He couldn't deny that. She was curvier than he remembered. A little taller, too. But she was still breathtakingly beautiful.

Haley James was his new partner? And she was the Chief's daughter? Things were about to get interesting.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Nathan muttered, twisting around to face Keith with a dumbfounded expression.

Keith eyebrows creased in confusion. "Is there something wrong?"

Before Nathan could answer, the door to Keith's office swung open and Haley walked through. The smile that was plastered on her face fell a little on one side and her eyes widened to saucers when she saw Nathan.

"This…you? I…this isn't happening," Haley stuttered, stumbling a little on her high heels.

Keith, clearly confused, darted his eyes between the two of them. "You guys know each other?"

Nathan curled his lips into a slick smirk, resting one of his arms on the back of his chair. "Oh, we know each other alright."