CHAPTER ONE: HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN AN ELEVATOR
1. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Travis entered the elevator slowly, hunched over. He found a spot in the elevator, and stood up straight. He looked at the other passengers carefully, then pinched his arm.
"Hmph. I must find a more suitable host body." He growled evilly,
A little girl in the elevator whimpered. He mother clutched her tightly.
"Stop messing around, kid! You're scaring my daughter!" She said.
Travis smiled coldly at the mother.
"You would make an excellent host..."
2. Sing "It's a Small World" incessantly.
"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small-"
"Shut up!" One of the passengers yelled.
"Fine, fine!" Connor said, holding up his hands, "Geez, you people are boring."
They stood in silence for a moment before Connor reached over and tapped a woman.
"Hey. Hey, guess what?"
The woman looked at him, annoyed, "What?"
"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all..."
3. Ask people their names, then insult them.
"What's your name?" Travis asked a woman who had just stepped into the elevator.
"Jackie." She replied, without looking up.
"Were you a guy at some point?" Travis asked.
The woman looked at him, offended. "What?"
"Well, you could have gotten a sex change, and your name could have been Jack, so instead of changing it, you just called yourself Jackie."
"I was never a man," Jackie informed him.
"Oh. Could've fooled me."
to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
"Oh." Connor muttered, listening to the walls with his stethoscope, "That's not good at all. Oh no! No, elevator stay put! I have to hear what Dark Dragon's saying!"
The other passengers muttered not-so-nice things at the boy.
Connor whipped around to them. "Do you know anything about Dark Dragon? Please, tell me you know something!"
5. Do Yoga.
"Lean to the left. And breathe!" Travis leaned out to touch his toes, "Oh, you guys should really try this. It's so peaceful!"
He leaned to the right and let out a deep breath. "And relax!"
Travis stood up and smiled at the other passengers, who looked annoyed.
"Would any of you like to rub the knot out of my back?"
6. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" Conner grinned wider than most humans would have thought possible. He was focusing on the only passenger in the elevator, a middle aged man, who seemed very uncomfortable. After about thirty seconds of staring, Connor said, "I've got new socks on!"
7. Play the harmonica. Travis played a western tune on his harmonica. "I`m in an elevator!" More western music, "Playin` a harmonica! I made a new friend! Her name is Larmonica!" He stared at the other people in the elavator for a while before getting mad. "Why won't you people clap for me? I did great!"
