The Unofficial Rules of Kiddy Grade
By: Sayaalv
(A/N: I own nothing and see last chapter.)
Don't ever try to keep up with Éclair or Eclipse's training routine…it's impossible – panting Un-oh.
26a. No it's not you just suck at physical exercise. – sticking tongue out Éclair
26b. Agreed. Although it's expected since he's better at long-range attacks than short range ones. – shrugging Eclipse
Kindly remember that I can fend for myself so when a Nouvlesse begins to annoy me it is not necessary for any of you to 'run interference' as it were or break one or more of his bones. – amused Eclipse
27a. That idiot was flirting with you even when you made it clear you weren't interested! I wasn't going to let him think he could force you into doing anything you didn't want to do and get away with it. – Unashamed Éclair.
27b. Wow Éclair protective much? – amused Alv
You guys are my family and I am protective of my family. Anyone messes with you guys and they'll be screwed over sideways with a ten foot cactus shoved up their a-butt holes – Serious Éclair.
28a. Wow Éclair you really are protective. Any particular reason why you're so protective of those you consider family? – curious A-ou after witnessing Éclair break a man's jaw for insulting Un-oh.
28b. The closest thing I ever had to family before meeting any of you was my family's maid. My parents had wanted a boy and were disappointed when I turned out to be a girl and they were fearful and loathed me when my abilities started acting up subconsciously. They tried to kill me after killing the only mother figure I ever knew and before killing themselves to hide their shame. My own mother shot me twice in the chest and once in the stomach before shooting my father and herself in the head. – Haunted Éclair
28c. My gods that is horrible but explains so much – shocked and horrified Dvergr.
Just because we all have had traumatic lives and/or childhoods does not mean we need to go to Therapy lessons once a week so please stop asking- Eclipse.
29a. Éclair's parents wanted a boy and tried to kill her, Un-ohs dad was emotionally dead and raised him the same way while his mother ran off when he was little, Cesarios parents beat him anytime he spoke aloud, Violas mother hated her and her dad was killed in front of her, the Tweedles parents tried to separate and kill them, A-ou lost his wife and unborn baby when his parents disapproved of her and killed her, Lumieres parents were murdered at a young age, Sinistra's brother was jealous of him and tried to kill him, Dexteras mother died when he was little and his dad committed suicide in front of him, you were nearly murdered by your boyfriend when he discovered your abilities, Alv had been separated from me and locked away by her father for most of her childhood, and my husband tried to kill me after I had Alv only because he wanted a boy instead of a girl and then proceeded to not only kidnap my daughter but also abuse and torture her. After all of that we all need at least a little therapy to help with nightmares and the memories. We are going to Therapy sessions, all of us, and that is that. – stern Dvergr
29b. … Therapy sessions begin at 8 pm and Capri agrees to see us at my apartment for the sessions. Despite appearances she's a licensed psychologist and a very good one. – serious Éclair
29c. Any who refuse to come of their own free will has been warned as I have talked Éclair into tracking you down and forcing you to come. These sessions will help and are good for your mind there are no two ways about attendance, and yes Chief that means you too – deadpanned Dvergr.
29d. What's a psychologist? – curious Viola
29f. Basically? It's a mind doctor – simplifies Éclair.
Éclair when I said you could track Chief down and force her to come to the sessions and stay at them any way you could that did not mean you had to tie her down to your bed. – amused Dvergr
30a. Kinky- snickering Un-oh
30b. Shut up Un-oh or you'll be right back at the hospital with another broken jaw, and it was the only way I could get her to stay here without using her ability to leave. She can't go anywhere until I unlock the handcuffs, not unless she wants to take my bed with her. – smug Éclair
30c. Éclair I will be getting you back for this later – growling Eclipse
30d. Hey how'd you manage to get a hold of this when you're tied down? –curious Sinistra
30e. Trade secret. – smirking Eclipse
30f. Éclair what did you whisper into chief Eclipse's ear to make her blush so much – curious Alv
30g. Secret. If I told you she'd kill me before dying of embarrassment and I doubt she'll tell you – Snickering Éclair
30h. Éclair did you forget about my ears? I heard every word you said and I gotta say that it's very hot and very kinky. – snickering Un-oh
30j. Shit.
What did she say Un-oh? – curious Tweedle Dumb
31a. She said that if the Chief behaved then she might let the chief tie her down later – snickering Un-oh
31b. That is hot…- blushing Cesario with all the males agreement
31c. Ow sis! It's true and even you were blushing at the thought of it! Why'd you smack me?!- indignant Tweedle Dumb
31d. Oh? Something you wanna tell us Tweedle Dee? – teasing Alv
31f. Fuck off all of you. – embarrassed Tweedle Dee
31g. When and where Tweedle Dee? – laughing Alv
Please leave all crude and intimate talking off of the list. We do not need nor want to read about that. I especially don't want to read about that kind of thing in correlation to my daughter. – protective Dvergr
32a. Aww come on mom I can fend for myself when it comes to this kind of thing! – pouting Alv
32b. No Alv and that is final. You are my only child and the only family I have left that I'm naturally related to. ANYONE gets near you with those intentions and I will personally ensure that no one ever finds where I hid the bodies. – Growling Dvergr
32c. You'd have to be more worried about Alv getting near sister with those intentions, not the other way around – snickering Tweedle Dumb
I don't care what gender my daughter is interested in but the next one that so much as looks at her funny because of it in front of me get's sent to the emergency room. – bluntly Dvergr
33a. At least not everyone is dumb enough to ask if she'd want to participate in a Threesome with Tweedle Dee and a boy. – snickering Éclair after witnessing that stupidity
33b. No only Un-oh is…did you really have to nearly break every bone in his body Dvergr? Before Alv or Tweedle Dee got to him at least? – amused Eclipse
33c. Of course I did. If he was dumb enough to ask my daughter that in front of me he deserved it. – deadpanned Dvergr
Next time can you let Alv and sister have a go at him first? Sis was pissed she didn't get to beat his head in for that for several hours- hopeful Tweedle Dumb
34a. Is that why I caught her and Alv making out and groping each other in a supply closet? They were pissed they didn't get to beat up on Un-oh and had to work off that anger some other way? – Curious Éclair
34b. They were WHAT?! –Roaring Dvergr
Mom can you try not to beat my girlfriend to death? – hopeful Alv
35a. No. She got near you with intentions like that and probably wouldn't have stopped unless Éclair had stumbled across the two of you by accident.- snarling Dvergr
35b. She wasn't even the one to start it! I kissed her first and suggested the supply closet! – protesting Alv
35c. Kinky Alv – snickering Éclair
35d. Screw you Éclair! Besides it's not like you can talk with what you and Chief Eclipse do! – Flushed Alv
35e. No thanks I'm happy with my girlfriend thank you very much and how would you know what we do hmm? – grinning Éclair.
Keep all intimate and personal talks off of the list! Yes that means you to Éclair since our co-workers don't need to know about our private life! – blushing Eclipse
36a. I didn't tell them anything they didn't already know! …which was only the handcuffs! They came up with the rest of it on their own! – defensive Éclair
36b. Either way keep it off of the list Éclair or you'll be on the couch for a month! – indifferent Eclipse
36c. Yes dear…- submissive Éclair
Although Chief Eclipse has Éclair wrapped around her pinkie it is a bad idea to make whip cracking noises anytime Éclair does something Chief tells her too…as proved by Un-oh being sent to the hospital for the third time this month alone – bluntly Tweedle Dee
No one is to question what happens in Éclair and Chief Eclipses bedroom. If Éclair doesn't kill you Chief will – snickering Tweedle Dumb after watching that happen to Un-oh again
38a. You shouldn't question it anyways as it's none of anyones damn business! – furious Eclipse
Please remember that although she's smart and not really nine years old Viola still doesn't know what most cuss words mean so please refrain from using them when she can hear or read them – requested by Dvergr after witnessing Viola ask Alv what 'damn' means
Also please note that alcohol is very dangerous for mine and Viola's younger and smaller bodies so bringing it to the girls night is not only a bad idea but also very rude since we can't have any of it safely – Politely Lumiere
40a. Hear that Tweedle Dee? No absinthe for you on girls nights! – teasing Un-oh
Un-oh is now the official training dummy for all E.S. members. If he doesn't have the common sense to know when to shut his mouth he deserves it. – boredly Eclipse
41a. As if he didn't get sent to the hospital enough already – snickering Cesario
Un-oh is no longer allowed to complain when sent to the hospital by a severally pissed off female co-worker. He does not know when to keep his chauvinist comments to himself and therefore he deserves everything he gets – furious Dvergr.
42a. What he do this time? – curious Tweedle Dumb
42b. He offered to marry me so that Alv wouldn't be a 'bastard child' in his words and so that I had a strong husband to rely on since he thinks that no woman can survive being single or without a husband/boyfriend – snarling Dvergr
42c. Mom kicked his ass royally for that and I have it all on camera! – snickering Alv
For movie nights please be sure to bring something everyone can enjoy that does not drive several powerful E.S. members insane…I'm looking at you Viola – Tweedle Dee
43a. I didn't know they would react to Disney movies like that! – defensive Viola
Okay Éclair we get it! You and Chief Eclipse are in love and probably going to marry each other sometime soon so can you stop singing her sappy love songs while we're all at the bar! – fed up Un-oh
44a. No because she likes them – Sticking tongue out Éclair
44b. Why am I not surprised? – amused Tweedle Dee
Despite the fact that he didn't really realize what he was saying Un-oh was correct when he said me and Éclair are going to marry each other soon. She proposed to me last night in fact – smiling Eclipse
45a. Really? I wanna see the ring! – squealing Tweedle Dee, agreed by most of the female E.S. members
45b. Thanks for helping me pick out the ring for her Dvergr! – grinning like a loon Éclair
45c. You're welcome Éclair – smiling Dvergr
Un-oh I swear if you imply that I'm the man in mine and Eclipse's relationship again I will beat you so bad you'll have to change bodies again! – furious Éclair
46a. So if you don't top then does she? – curious A-ou
46b. A-OU THAT IS NONE OF YOUR OR ANYONE ELSE'S BUSINESS! – Furious Eclipse
Don't ask Chief Eclipse or Éclair anything about their sex lives you won't get an answer besides beating of a millennia – snickering Alv
47a. Well I would beat them just as bad if they asked about our sex lives Alv – shrugging Tweedle Dee
47b. What's sex? –innocently Viola
47c. I got a new rule for that – serious Eclipse
Dvergr since you had to have given Alv 'The Talk' sometime before you have been selected as the give the same 'Talk' to Viola – deadly serious Eclipse
48a. Aw hell no! It was embarrassing enough explaining that to my daughter if I explained that to Viola then I would never be able to look her in the eyes again. – protesting Dvergr
48b. Sorry mom but we took a vote and you were the unanimous winner. Have fun giving her the talk…I'll ask Chief Eclipse to erase her and your memories of it later! – snickering Alv
48c. …damn you all to the deepest pits of hell – bluntly Dvergr
Okay if it takes a boy and a girl to have a baby like Dvergr told me too then how are Chief Eclipse and Clairy having a baby? – curious Viola
49a. they're having a baby? – shocked and surprised Tweedles
49b. Viola you weren't supposed to tell anyone yet! – blushing Eclipse
49c. We're having a baby? – shocked Éclair
49d. Yes we're having a baby…although I only found out a few hours ago and Viola stumbled across me saying it in shock. She wasn't supposed to tell anyone until after I told Éclair – embarrassed Eclipse
No one is allowed to make fun of Éclair for fainting after she found out she managed to get Chief Eclipse pregnant. It's a common reaction, hell Alv's father passed out and stayed out of it for about five hours when I told him I was pregnant – Truthful Dvergr
50a. I fainted as well when my wife had told me she was with my child- nodding A-ou
50b. Although if anyone is dumb enough to make fun of Éclair for passing out in front of me or her I will do more than break their jaws – Eclipse with Éclair nodding in agreement
