This is Kuja's oneshot! I have only one thing to say: the poem he talks about in here are lyrics from Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks. It's really an awesome song. Please R&R!

Circle

A warning to the people, the good and the evil: this is war. To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim. This is war. It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie. The moment to live, and the moment to die. The moment to Fight.

- "This is War", 30 Seconds to Mars

((((()))))

Kuja

1

Karma is a killer.

I deserve everything that has happened to me, but why continue to let me live? I've given up. I have admitted defeat. I'm ready to finally meet the end.

But it simply won't come.

Wouldn't you do the same for me if you knew I was dying?

No, Zidane, I most definitely would not have. I would have paid you little, if no, mind and gone on with my life, just as you should have. A final goodbye is not supposed to be confused with a cry for help.

It never was, and it isn't now.

At least your death won't count against me.

2

I take a shuddering breath and force my eyes to open. The midday sun burns against my face, yet someone is holding me back from turning away. Everything I see is blurred. I'm not sure of my hearing, but I think someone is calling my name. I don't have to be fully conscious to note the malice in the voice.

Get some water for them, and please hurry back.

My eyes wander up to a blonde, pink, and black blur. "Mikoto?" I rasp, wincing at the sound of how atrocious my voice sounds.

"I'm here too, Kuj," Zidane says, leaning into view. Mikoto hurriedly sets him down and sternly tells him not to move.

"It's been weeks," Mikoto explains, dabbing a wet cloth at my wounds. My flesh comes to life, screaming in agony, but I don't call out. She continues, this time to Zidane. "We were… all waiting to see you come back."

I must imagine it, but I think I see a tear fall from Mikoto's face. She quickly wipes her sleeve across her eyes and turns to a nearby genome, telling him to prepare us a place to stay.

It's hard to stay connected to reality, so I blissfully let the illusion wash over me. I want to believe that this is turning into a happy ending, but Garland's voice is still ringing strong in my ears, telling me that my life is going to come to an end very soon.

I don't want to die.

3

Today I take a look in the mirror, frightened at the face before me. I have nothing to be proud of now, but I will put the look on my face, all so I don't have to look so pitiful.

How could I get this low?

4

With Mikoto's influencing words, she makes sure that the black mages and genomes accept us as friends. Zidane must not be on good terms with them any longer for bringing me here.

I've wanted to thank him, but it's hard to get the words out.

I think… that I may be a bit of a snob.

5

It truly has been weeks since that last battle, and I find it odd that none of my injuries are healing. Is this the beginning of Garland's curse?

To keep my mind away from it, and to perhaps keep her own mind away from Vivi, Mikoto comes to talk to me when no else will. She has nothing to say that I truly care about, but I make an effort to listen, because she seems like the only one who cares for me.

I owe my life to both her and Zidane now. The least I have to do is make my life, even if it nearing the end, a good one.

6

I've written down nearly every poem I know, along with a few excerpts of my favorite plays. There really isn't anything to do but remember these things nowadays. Zidane says he is going back to Alexandria for a while to see his Dagger once again. Even though I don't want him to leave, I don't have the heart to keep him here. I bid him a safe journey and return to my thoughts.

I think of how these mages- my mages- have built a village so great as this. Even if it is horribly lacking by my past standards, I have to give them credit for such a wonderful job.

On the bedside table on my left I grab a notebook and pencil and write down another few lines from I Want to be Your Canary.

So, the sun is our enemy too. The eastern sky grows bright. Will we not spread our wings, as yonder birds in joyous flight?

The pencil drops from my shaking hand as the sun hits my face, beaming into the shadowed room by a single open window. The fragrant breeze blows inside.

I do so love the beginning of spring.

7

The pain is so great today that I can't even sit up. Mikoto is caught up in other business, and I am left alone.

I close my eyes, letting out a deep, rattling breath.

My chest hurts with every breath, and I cannot help myself as I wince.

To keep my mind from this, I softly quote the lines of another poem:

Just like the one-winged dove

Sings like a song,

Sounds like she's singing.

Ooo, ooo, ooo.

And the days go byLike a strand in the windIn the web that is my ownI begin again

What I try to do for meWith the words from a poetAnd the voice from a choirAnd a melody... nothing else mattered

And then suddenlyThere was no one left standingIn the hallIn a flood of tearsThat no one really ever heard fall at allOh I went searching for an answerUp the stairs and down the hallNot to find an answerJust to hear the callOf a nightbird singing...Come away come away...

A tear rolls off my cheek.

8

I suppose that this is the time when I say, "I regret nothing"…. But I regret everything. From the very beginning, that day when I first tricked Brahne into using her adopted daughter's eidolons to destroy Alexandria's neighbors, to the very end, I regret everything I had ever done.

Why didn't I just go to Gaia with Zidane? What if both of Garland's angels had disappeared? I suppose we would have had to bring Mikoto with us, also.

Maybe I wouldn't be alone now.

9

Mikoto tells me everything about Vivi. She also tells me of how they kept it all secret from Zidane.

Everything my first mage did….

Everything my brother and sister do….

Why can't I be like them too? Is it that impossible to forget what I have done in the past and start anew?

It's unfair.

10

Just like the one winged dove…

I sit outside today, assuring Mikoto I am well enough.

I'm glad that lying comes easily.

The tiniest breeze seems to knock me back, but I welcome the fresh air and sunlight that lights up the day. There seems to be silence everywhere I turn- not a soul to be seen. I'm also glad for that.

The less people there are, the easier this will be.

Mikoto comes to stand at my side. "I'm sorry," she says, tears spilling from her eyes.

There's nothing for her to apologize for, but I understand what she says.

Sounds like she's singing…

I feel a faint grin come to my face. "If it were possible," I tell her softly, "I would want to tell Vivi goodbye. He was a good boy."

"Yes," Mikoto agrees, turning to look at the new flowers sprouting up in the village. "Vivi truly was an amazing child."

There is silence once again. I still have more to say, but I don't want the calming silence to end. No birds sing, but there's still a tune that rings true in my ear.

I want to sing along with it, but I can no longer speak.

I want to see the sun, but everything is now going dark.

…I want to live….

Come away, Come away…

I gladly listen.