Chapter two

Kaouru

I pulled on my shirt, and tied around my tie. My eyes darted to the door and I sighed. I can't believe what happened last night. True, I had been looking forward to the party and spending time with Hikaru and Haruhi, picking on Tamaki, and acting up for the gullible girls. But when-when THAT happened! Oh, god.

I don't even know how we got in that position. I don't know he fell and got on top of me. But I liked it. The way he was so close to me. Our lips close enough to.......STOP!

I had to act like everything was normal. To laugh it off. To hide what I really feel. But..........

I turn to the mirror.

Everything wasn't normal. It wasn't ok. Nothing was ok. Because, for as long as I can remember; I've loved him. Even when we were kids, all I could think about was him. His happiness. All I wanted to do was see him smile. Because when he could laugh, I could laugh. And when he cried, I cried.

I sat on the bed and took off my tie. I'm not proud of my feelings. I'm not proud that sometimes at night, I want to reach over and touch him, feel him, tell him how my stomach flips by his mere touch. His smile. His breath. I'm not proud with knowing that without my twin: my life would crumble out of existence. Because I need him. I need him the way a flower needs water, the way people need love.

A day without him is nothing. And that's so wrong. I know it is. I know I shouldn't feel this way. Shouldn't dream about him. Yet, my heart wont stop beating. My palms wont stop sweating. And those images wont go away.

I bet the way he's acting weird is because of what happened. He probably feels disgusted. Probably hates me so close, so near, so touchable. My heart ached. There's no way we could be together. No way we could.....have a future. Because it's so wrong, I'd hate to see how he's react if he knew I loved him.

Of course he doesn't know how I feel. He's so dense, he wouldn't even notice if I had shaved my head bald. Which is kinda bad and good at the same time. Bad because I have to conceal my feelings, good because he doesn't know how I feel.

There's a knock on my door, "Kaoru, it's time to get to school."

I sighed and got up. But before I left I turned to the mirror.

You are twins. Brothers. You don't love him, he doesn't love you.

And went out the door, leaving the tie behind. Just act cool.