Ayano Keiko truly lived up to her name as a "lucky child".

She knew her name didn't spell out "lucky child" since her father named her after an element in the periodic table, just like how her grandfather named her father. But even her scientifically-inclined family, who lived their lives based on facts and hard evidence, had to admit that the likelihood of her winning games of chance was very high. None of them could explain her unnaturally lucky streak but knew it almost always held true, like the time she won her «NerveGear» from a lottery.

Of course, her lucky streak was spectacularly broken when the game's creator, Kayaba, turned the first VRMMORPG into a prison and a death sentence.

Then she met Sasha-sensei, a kindly woman in her twenties who looked out for young players like her, which made her think that her luck might be returning.

But it was meeting Kirito which made her believe that her lucky streak was back, stronger than ever.

He was an older player. Definitely younger than Sasha-sensei with his baby effeminate face, but definitely older than her, with the way he confidently carried himself. And he was strong. Very strong. Stronger than most of the players she met along the way while she was being chased by wolf monsters.

(Players she would never get a chance to meet again. And it was all her fault.)

He was also very kind, much like Sasha-sensei who went out of her way to help people. After going out of his way to save her, he still offered her free food and lodging, paying both with his own hard-worked Col.

And most importantly, he didn't pry why she left «Starting City». Or more like he was terrified to ask because he was afraid of her tears. Which in hindsight was very hilarious because he could take down two wolf packs without hesitation but the moment tears start forming in her eyes, he would back away as if he's facing a high-leveled monster.

(Her own father was just like that. He could shake off chemical burns, electrical shocks, and explosions with a laugh but was paralyzed at the sight of tears from her mother or herself.)

"Where are we going, Kirito-san?" she asked, following the dark-haired teen around «Horunka Village» after eating breakfast at the inn they were staying in.

"Getting you proper equipment, Silica-chan," he replied and she flinched.

That's right. Her name wasn't Ayano Keiko, not anymore. It was Silica now, a play on her real name, Keiko, which represented the fourteenth element in the periodic table, Keiso. Silicon.

Like Kirito wasn't his real name either, just a username in-game. It wasn't real. Nothing here was real.

Except for death and despair.

"Silica-chan?" calling her attetion, looking at her with a concerned expression. She was surprised to realize that she stopped in the middle of the road. She didn't remember when she stopped.

"I- uh," she stuttered, not knowing how to put her thoughts into words.

Instead of asking for an explanation, he smiled at her. It was small and awkward, as if he wasn't used to smiling at all. The corners of his lips were tilted upwards, but it looked forced and unnatural on his face.

He was trying so hard to comfort her without words, despite how uncomfortable he was.

She felt herself tearing up because he was so very kind towards her and she was just so ungrateful and unfair to him.

As predicted, he panicked at the sight of her tears.

"Mou. Is my smile so horrible that it brought you to tears?" he asked, the smile wiping away from his face leaving a pout.

And she couldn't help herself, she giggled.

"No, no!" she managed to say in between her sobs and giggles (and she couldn't identify which was the cause of her tears anymore).

"It's just that- I'm so sorry. You're so nice to me and I put you in danger and I don't even understand why you're so nice and I..." she trailed off, not knowing where her train of thought was leading her.

"Well," he said, scratching his cheek. "You reminded me of my younger sister. That's why I helped you."

"You must be such a great big brother, willing to put yourself in danger for her," she found herself saying and he shook his head at her praise.

"Not really. I mean, we were pretty close when we were younger. But then, I pushed her away. Well, more like I pulled away from her because... of reasons," and Keiko - no, Silica, her name was Silica - realized that he was willing not to push her because he had his own secrets to keep. She could respect that. "It didn't help that we had vastly different interests: she was into Kendo and was even competing in the nationals, while I was into video games. We were like day and night. And I didn't do anything to heal the distance between the two of us that I created."

"But you want to fix it, don't you?" she asked and he looked surprised at her question.

"Of course! When we get out of here, I'm going to be the best big brother in the world," he said with such conviction.

She couldn't help herself and giggled again.

"Oi, oi. I'm not that bad," he said, pouting at her. She shook her head.

"I'm not laughing because I think you can't be the best big brother in the world. I'm laughing because you think you aren't already. And she probably thinks the same, too, despite the distance between the two of you," she explained herself and he tentatively brightened at her words.

"Really?" he asked, looking much younger and innocent than his actual age.

"Yup!" she replied, confident and bright.

"How do you know?" he asked before shaking his head. "Don't tell me it's one of those 'little sister things' that I would never understand."

"I'm an only child," she offered freely since he offered so much of himself without asking for anything in return. It was only fair that she gave back something in return, even if it's just a small tidbit about herself. "But since you consider me as your little sister, then yes, it's one of those 'little sister things' that you won't understand!"

He was surprised at her words then smiled at her. And this time, the expression didn't look wrong on his face. It was a small and soft smile, gentle and natural.

"Thank you, Silica-chan," he said, then frowned. "I was supposed to comfort you and you end up comforting me instead." He shook his head before speaking, "And we got side-tracked. We need to buy you proper equipment because you're not going back to «Starting City», where it's safer, right?"

She shook her head violently because it was definitely not safer there.

"And you don't want to stay here in «Horunka Village» either, despite being a safe zone, which means nothing and no one could attack you here," he continued and she nodded.

"It's safer with you," she said solemnly as if stating a fact of life. And for Silica, it truly was since she has never felt safer in the five days of the «Death Game» until Kirito found her and saved her.

"I can't stay in safe zones because I need to get stronger to survive and escape," he said, serious and solemn.

"Then I'll get stronger with you. And we can escape this game together with everyone!"

"I don't want you to... get hurt because of me."

Silica was aware that players didn't feel pain in the game so she understood what he truly meant when he paused. He didn't want her to die.

She didn't want to die either. And more importantly, she didn't want Kirito to die, too.

"I'm not going to die! I'm going to fight and be stronger and live!"

"What if you find a monster that's stronger than you?" he shot back. She grinned because she already knew the answer to that question.

'Then you're going to protect me! Because you're my Kirito-nii!"

At her words, he looked so torn. As if he couldn't decide whether to be embarrassed or pleased. Then he let out a sigh.

Though she kept a grin, she was worried at his reaction because it was very impulsive of her. What if it was too forward of her? She has heard that sigh before, hopeless and helpless and the prelude to something horrible.

"I'm... not going to win against you, am I?" he asked instead.

She blinked at his words before letting out a relieved laugh.

"Nope! Not at all!"

"You're just like Sugu. I can't win against her either," he commented with a shake of his head.

"Your... real sister?" she asked, hesitant.

"Aah," he responded with a nod.

She ignored the sharp sting in her heart. Her virtual heart in her virtual body. As in not her real heart because nothing here was real. Not her heart, not her body, not the pain. And definitely not her big brother.

November 11, 2022 (Part One) - End.

silica was surprisingly depressing. also, it's saturday somewhere in the world so i'm not that late. (i am just terrible with deadlines. i'm sorry.)

part two next saturday.

enjoy~