A/N: This is the last chapter with only Conviction characters. From now on SVU characters are the main players.


They went to a little family owned, hole in the wall Italian restaurant close to the cemetery. They talked for a while, and Christina was careful to steer clear of any family-related questions. They talked about books, movies, television, music, and theatre. They shared their best and worst memories from high school and college. Then Alex turned to more serious topics. It seemed it was something she had to get off her chest, so Christina didn't interrupt. Alex told her of her life as the SVU ADA and how hard it was to go into Witness Protection and how relieved she was when she found out she could come back. "The drug ring was busted and the leaders were thrown in jail. There was no longer a threat on my life, so they said I could come back if I wanted to. Of course I did. After I testified against my assailant I was relocated to Ohio, and I hated it there. I missed the city so much. I missed my old life. Branch was so excited when he heard I was coming back, especially with Donnelly a judge. He pretty much gave me the position of Bureau Chief. I guess you could say I did pretty well when I was back in SVU. I miss them."

"Haven't you seen them since you got back?"

"Well…yes. But it's not the same as seeing them every day and working with them. Our schedules are so busy it seems we never have time to see each other."

"Maybe things will get less hectic. Maybe you could run over there when you know they take their lunch break? A little bit of time is better than nothing."

"Yeah, you're right. I could do that." It was quiet at the table for a few minutes. Christina moved the food around her plate, searching for a question or another topic to break the silence.

"When I found out she died I just went numb. It was the worst few days of my life. Worse than when I was put in the program and I thought I'd never see my family and friends again. There was no one in Wisconsin who I could call, or go to. I didn't have friends or even work acquaintances I'd feel comfortable telling. Just me. God, I was so lonely. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral; it was too risky. I couldn't tell anyone in Wisconsin that family member had died because they'd be suspicious when I didn't leave for a funeral. So I kept it to myself. I barely cried when I got the news. I kept pushing it away so I could deal with it later, "when I had more time". And whenever I thought I had time, I would turn my attention to other things. I didn't want to face it, accept it. I was afraid if I did I would fall apart. And if I fell apart, I wouldn't be able to keep up this pretend life any more. I became this numb shell of a person. For a couple of months I felt like I had no reason to go on. I couldn't see beyond tomorrow. I couldn't begin to imagine my life happier, not even years down the road."

"Are you happy now?"

"I have my dream job, I'm back in the city, and I'm back being myself. But no, I'm really not happy. Not at all." Alex concentrated on stirring the ice around in her drink with a straw. The emptiness she felt when her mom died was creeping up her throat, but she pushed it down and out of her thoughts. As usual, she didn't want to deal with it at that moment. She shook her head and forced a smile. She needed to forget about the day's events. And although she knew she shouldn't, she knew the only way for that to happen was through alcohol. "Let's go to a bar. Let me buy you a drink. A thank you drink for listening to me whine and rattle on for so long."

"It's really not necessary."

"I insist."

Christina could see her boss wanted company, no matter how she tried to disguise it. She couldn't say no. "All right. It's not like we have to be at work tomorrow, right?"

Alex gave her a small smile. "Right."

They walked around for a little bit, enjoying the cool air and scoping out the bars. They ended up choosing one several blocks from Christina's apartment. She was glad it was within walking distance and wouldn't have to pay for a cab. She wasn't planning on drinking too much; she hated being hung over and didn't want to spend half of her weekend feeling miserable.

It wasn't terribly crowded at the bar, which was surprising for a Friday night. It wasn't a large bar, more of a hole in the wall-type place. Christina herself had only been there a few times, mainly as a cap to blind dates.

Once they took a seat at the bar, Alex's mood started to lift. They ordered their drinks and drank them silently. Well, Alex more or less downed hers and ordered a second before Christina finished her first sip. Alex's behavior surprised Christina because she had always appeared to be not much of a drinker. Looks can be deceiving. But after a few drinks and several shots, Christina could tell this wasn't something Alex did all the time. She was already quite drunk, hanging onto a few guys and telling them about being in witness protection. They were amused and clearly didn't want to be disturbed, but Alex was too far gone to take notice. When she turned into a "cheery depressed" drunk (a term coined by Christina's freshman roommate, when someone tells depressing stories in a cheerful demeanor) they made a deal with her.

"Hey, lady, if we each buy you one shot, will you please leave us alone?" one of the guys asked.

Christina counted the number of glasses lined up in front of Alex and made an executive decision that her boss did not need four more shots of anything. "That's nice, but we've got to go." She turned to the bartender and paid both of their tabs. When her back was turned Alex took one last shot before Christina dragged her out to the street.

"Hey, I was having fun! I could have had more free drinks!" Alex said, her words slurring.

"You've had enough to drink. You can barely stand up on your own."

"That's silly. You're being silly Angela."

"Christina."

"Christina. Oops. Yes, Christina." She fell against a wall and then took a few steps back in awe. "Wow, this is amazing artwork! Christina, we should buy it!"

"Alex, its graffiti. On a building wall."

"Oh. That's nice."

"Alex, where do you live?"

"Somewhere, over there," she said, waving her hand around her head. "Isn't that a song from a cartoon? Somewhere, over there, underneath the pale moonlight!" she sang, her voice echoing down the street.

"Close enough, yes. Alex, seriously, where do you live?"

"I'm not sure. Not close to here, that's for sure. Haha. That's for sure."

"Near the courthouse?"

"No, that's where I work! You work there too, you should know that."

"No, I-" Christina gave up. There was no point rationalizing with Alex right now. Alex would just have to go home with her. It was probably better. Alex was in no state to go anywhere by herself. Or stay by herself. So she gently pushed Alex in the direction of her apartment, a good ten-fifteen minute walk from the bar. It took even longer because Alex had to stop and admire random things and because she had to rely on Christina to walk.

When they got inside the apartment, Alex's cheery, drunken demeanor evaporated and she just stood in the middle of the living room, not moving. Christina took this opportunity to clean up just a little, and to change. She got an extra pair of pjs for Alex and brought them to her. Alex was still standing in the same spot, staring at something on or near the coffee table. With a little persuading Christina got her to change. While she was doing that, Christina got some extra blankets and pillows and when she came back, Alex was sitting on the couch, still staring at something Christina couldn't see.

Alex was in her own world yet very aware of everything around her. She felt sick and miserable, and not just from the alcohol. It felt like all of the worry and sadness of the past few years were sitting on her shoulders, weighing her down. No matter what she did she couldn't make it go away. She couldn't get those thoughts out of her head.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and snapped out of her trance.

"Alex, are you okay?" Christina asked, concerned.

Alex nodded, rubbing her eyes and face. She was surprised to find them wet. She felt so tired and emotionally drained, she just wanted to curl up and forget about her day. She felt dizzy and started to lie down, not caring that Christina was in the way. All she wanted was for this feeling to subside. But then her stomach lurched and she knew she was going to be sick. She sat up and ran down the hall to the bathroom. She collapsed to the ground in front of the toilet and heaved up all the alcohol as well as every meal she had eaten that day. Christina tied her hair back in a ponytail and put a wet rag around her neck. Finally, after what seemed like forever, when there was nothing left in her body to throw up, Alex was finished. She sat up and leaned against the bathtub.

Christina gave her a small cup of Listerine to rinse out her mouth and then handed her another wet rag. Alex pressed her face into it, relishing the cold. She cleaned up and tried to get herself together. She put the rags on the shower railing and took several deep breaths, trying in vain to calm down. She put her head on one of her hands, chunks of hair falling around her face. "Christina, I need you to get my phone and call Olivia Benson. Tell her I need to see her." She managed to get this out before returning to the toilet, half heaving, half sobbing.

Christina dug through Alex's purse until she found the phone. She flipped through the address book twice until she found Olivia's number under "Detective Olivia Benson."

"Benson," answered the tired yet still professional detective.

"Detective Benson, this is Christina Finn, and I work in the DA's office under Alexandra Cabot," Christina began.

"Alex? Is she okay?"

"Well, yeah. Sort of. I mean… Well, she's here at my apartment and she's pretty upset. She says she needs to see you."

"Is this a prank?" Olivia asked suspiciously.

"No, no. She's really here, getting sick in my toilet."

Olivia paused before answering. "Okay, give me your address and I'll be right over."

Christina went back to the bathroom. Alex's arms were resting on the toilet, her hands grabbing fistfuls of hair. "Olivia is on her way," she said, handing Alex another rag. "You think you're done?"

Alex covered her face with the rag and nodded into it. Her face felt like it was on fire. She felt Christina help her up and lead her into the living room. All she could think about was Olivia and how she always knew what to say. She was such a strong woman.

"Here's some water. You need to stay hydrated." Christina said, handing her a glass.

Alex shakily took it and took a few sips. They sat in silence until there was a knock at the door. Alex put the glass on the coffee table as Christina went to answer the door.