Big heaping thanks to radcat, Lady Jarine, Outcast Martyr, Phantom SunsSong, DemonRaily, kathy lee skyler, Marie blaze, Sally Elric, Taranova Xonson, nightstargazer, Xinarie, SoarKitten, Lepa, TinkerbelleTB, and OutcastLover for reviewing the first part! Can I just say that I used this as a tool to rant about the predictable pattern of Pokémon? Like it says in my bio, the earlier seasons were more violent, and interesting. Now it's all about moral lessons and the same six plots over and over...
Welcome to the second episode! Since so many of you asked, begged, bribed, threatened, and demanded a sequel, here it is! Hopefully it's as well-received as the first!
Winry: Hi, I'm Winry. I'm ten--er, sixteen, and I live in the sunny town of Risembool. On this sunny fine day, I found myself waking up to begin the adventure of a lifetime, as I had finally come of age to...okay, this script is really dumb.
Narrator: Don't stop there! We can't have our audience wondering what's going on!
Winry: In other words, folks, I'm about to enslave a human and get my bike destroyed.
Narrator: That's quite inelegant. But I guess it'll have to do. Ahem. Little did Winry know, she would indeed be having an adventure...but of a very different kind!
Winry rolled her eyes as she sat up in bed, looking around. It was another fine, sunny morning, and she got out of bed and got dressed. Then she went downstairs to find Granny Pinako doing something cooking-related.
"Off to be exploited in a fanfic...I mean, to get your first Pokémist, eh?" Pinako said.
Winry nodded. "Do you still have that cheesy speech they wanted you to say to me?"
"Yep." Pinako came out of the kitchen and grabbed a few papers off the coffee table. She then lectured Winry for about an hour on the wild dangers of a minor running amok across the country with nothing but wits and whatever Pokémists she acquired as protection. Then she lectured Winry on having fun, and not talking to strangers, unless they looked nice.
Finally, Pinako finished, and Winry left on her nice, shiny new bike she had assembled herself through months of hard work and dedication. A happy wind blew, the sun shone down brightly, and someone was playing Bicycle Music Track Number 1, which was sort of creepy.
"So...where am I going at the crack of whenever?" Winry wondered aloud.
Narrator: To professor Sequoia's, obviously!
"Right. Obviously," Winry sighed. She kept pedaling.
Narrator: As we rejoin our courageous heroes, we find them in yet another tragic predicament.
Ed kicked a half-dead tree. "How did we get lost?!" he raged.
Al, converted into a real boy, which is much more kid-friendly than a soul in a suit of armor, tried to calm his brother down. "Brother, it's all right," he said. "We can find our way again."
Narrator: Uh oh, but something tells me it won't be that easy!
"Oh, h(EEP!) no!" Ed yelled, shaking his fists at the sky. "When did you get back here?!"
Narrator: We've seriously got to do something about that potty mouth!
"Just try to ignore him, Brother," Al said, shading his eyes against the glaring sun. He peered around at the sea of sand. "Let's focus on finding a way out of this desert?"
Narrator: No.
"Uh...arctic wasteland?" About six feet of snow fell on them.
Narrator: That's not for ages five to ten!
"Forest?" The snow vanished, trees sprung up, and birds started singing.
Narrator: Perfect!
Ed looked ready to punch someone in the gut. "ANYWAY," he growled, "let's get going, Al." He trudged off in the most promising-looking direction.
"Okay." Al hurried after him. A moment after they left the area, three heads poked up from a nearby bush.
"I don't care how much more we're getting paid, squatting in the bushes is stupid," Lust grumbled.
"I'm with you, but if we go OOC now, they'll fire us," Envy pointed out.
Lust sighed heavily. "This stinks."
"Agreed."
Even Gluttony looked sad.
"Fine. Then let's go plot to kidnap that brown-haired kid using a deep pit, a giant robot, and a plan that's destined to fail," Lust said.
"Go, Team Homo," Envy said sarcastically, putting a fist in the air.
"Brother?"
"Yeah, Al?"
"I don't mean to sound discouraging, but...haven't we seen that same blue tree 26 times already?"
Ed sighed and stopped. "Yeah. I think we're lost again."
Suddenly a blur shot from the bushes, knocked Ed over, and raced down the direction they had just come.
"What the h(EEP!) was that?!" Ed exclaimed.
"I don't know," Al said.
"Oh! Please wait!"
They turned to see Roze running towards them. "Come back, Preacher Man!" she cried.
"NEVER!" Father Cornello, the blur that had knocked Ed down, yelled. He dashed into the bushes with one eye open.
"Preacher Man! Wait!" Roze cried. She seemed to run out of steam when she reached Ed and Al, and fell to her knees, panting and fanning herself with her script.
"Roze!" Al exclaimed. "What are you doing--"
Roze held up her script and pointed at a line, her eyes darting towards that bushes nervously. Al leaned down and read the line, then nudged Ed. Ed read the line, then rolled his eyes. "Who are you and who was that?" he deadpanned.
"I'm Roze," Roze said, "and that was my Pokémist, Preacher Man. He won't do what I say! I'm a bad trainer!"
Ed sighed heavily. "How can we help?"
"Please help me catch him! I was just trying to teach him how to use Self Destruct, using these bombs, dynamite, and other dangerous explody things!" Roze held up a whole pile of said things.
So they chased after Preacher Man, I mean, Cornello, who couldn't seem to get his other eye open. They caught him in a convenient clearing with conveniently mowed grass.
"Preacher Man! Please listen! I just want to be the best trainer I can by forcing you to fight for me against your will!" Roze pleaded.
"You're crazy!" Cornello announced. He took his holy man walking stick and transmuted it into a multi-barrel machine gun.
Ed, Al, and Roze sweatdropped.
Cornello opened fire on them, and they dived out of the way. Al was a beat too slow, however, and he got hit. "AGH! Brother!" he cried, falling to the ground. "I've been hit by..."
He trailed off when they all got a good look at his leg. "A fluffy pillow?" Ed said.
Narrator: Well, it is a kid-friendly show.
Ed sighed and kicked the pillow away. "All right, look here, you!" he said, pointing at Cornello. "Surrender to the selfish will of your trainer so I can get out of this d(EEP!) nightmare world!"
"Never!" Cornello announced.
"I'm so sad!" Roze cried. "How can I forge a bond with Preacher Man if he won't unquestioningly do my bidding just because I want him to?"
"For one, you can stop calling me PREACHER MAN!"
Roze suddenly brightened. "I know! How about you battle this trainer and his Pokémist! If he wins, you come back!"
"Don't use us as bartering tools!" Ed said indignantly.
"DEAL!" Cornello reloaded the machine gun and rapid-fired fluffy pillows of doom at Al, who dived out of the way.
Ed glowered at Cornello. "Look here, you mess with my brother, and it's payback time! Al! Give him a Glare!"
Al nodded, whipped his suit of armor out of nowhere, and put it on. He walked over to Cornello, then stood to his full height and loomed over the man, his face looking dark and scary. "STOP ATTACKING US WITH FLUFFY PILLOWS, OKAY?" he said in his welcome-to-the-brig tone.
Cornello, unnerved, stepped back a bit.
"Yay!" Roze cheered.
"Fine, I give up," Cornello sighed, dropping his machine gun. "I'm too old for this stuff."
Roze skipped over and dropped a collar over his head. "Thanks for your help!" she said to Ed.
"Yeah, whatever," Ed said. "I just want to get AWAY from this stupidity."
"Well, I can't help you there, but I can tell you the way out of the forest!" Roze said.
So, after receiving directions from Roze, Ed and Al finally found their way out of the forest. The second they stepped out of the border of the forest, they stepped into a town.
"I wonder where this is?" Al wondered aloud.
"Risembool," Ed said, "just, really changed."
"How did you know?"
Ed pointed to a giant wooden sign that screamed "HI! WELCOME TO RISEMBOOL!" in dripping red letters.
"HI! WELCOME TO RISEMBOOL!" some random people said as they walked by.
Al waved. Ed sighed. When and where did they fall down the rabbit hole?
"So, what do we do here, Brother?" Al asked.
"I guess we figure out where the h(EEP!) they want us to go," Ed sighed.
"WOW!" some random kid said at the top of his lungs as he passed by. "GOING TO PROFESSOR SEQUOIA'S LAB, A CONVENIENT THREE BLOCKS AWAY STRAIGHT LEFT, WAS A REALLY AWESOME IDEA!"
Ed and Al exchanged glances.
"IF I WERE SOMEBODY ELSE WHO HADN'T GONE, I'D GO!" the kid screamed, giving Ed a meaningful glance.
Ed shrugged and turned to Al. "Want to get a bite to eat?"
In frustration, the kid picked them up and booted them into the sky.
Winry, meanwhile, had made it to Professor Sequoia's lab. She parked her bike outside the large brick building and went in. "Hello?" she called. "Professor Sequoia?"
"That's me--WAUGH!" There was a series of crashes, as if someone had knocked down a bunch of dominoes, and all the dominoes had at least three large metal objects attached to them. A door to Winry's left opened, and a bunch of crap spilled out. A person pulled themselves out of the pile of odds and ends and stood up. It was a woman with blue eyes and purple hair pulled into a complicated series of braids, buns, and ponytails that looked as though it took about an hour to do. "Hi, I'm Professor Sequoia!" she said in a man's voice.
Winry was a bit weirded out, but shook the professor's outstretched hand. "So, are you here to get your first Pokémist?" Sequoia asked, cheerfully, kicking everything back into the room behind her and shoving the door closed before it could spill out again.
"Yes?" Winry tried.
"Great! Come this way, please." Sequoia kicked a couple of paperweights she had missed out of the way and led Winry down a short hall and into a large room. It looked like a cafeteria. A bunch of people milled about, eating, talking, and generally making noise. "These are all the starter Pokémists," Sequoia said. "Right now, they suck at fighting, or doing anything besides taking up space, but with enough love and dangerous training, they'll become really tough! Isn't that great?"
"Yes?" Winry agreed.
Sequoia grinned. "So, just kind of walk up to one and take them, and we'll let you be on your way!"
Winry shrugged and entered the room. The people around her mostly ignored her, though a few waved, some smiled, and some more stared. Winry didn't see anyone who particularly stood out, so she just kinds of reached out to the side and grabbed an arm without looking.
Suddenly the roof exploded, and all the people screamed and scattered. A huge vacuum hose popped out of the hole in the ceiling and started vacuuming up people. The one Winry had grabbed was sucked up before she could get a good look at him or her, and she had to grab onto a table to keep from being sucked up into the vacuum.
"Oh no!" Sequoia, whose hair was heavy enough to keep her firmly planted, cried. "Who's taking the Pokémists?"
"Mua ha ha ha ha!" a sinister laugh, well, laughed. Winry squinted up and saw a huge hot-air balloon in the shape of an Ouroborus. In the basket were three characters who looked like vampires, or emos, or really avid goths.
"Prepare for trouble, it's show time!" said the woman.
"Make it double, our jobs are on the line!" said the girly-looking guy.
"To protect the world from low-cut skirts!"
"To hit the shrimp where it hurts!"
"To make my bosom look even fuller!"
"To make opti--wait, what?"
"Lust!"
"..." He was still thrown by the "fuller bosom" part.
Lust sighed. "And he's Envy," she said. "And Gluttony." She pointed down at the fat guy.
Gluttony waved then took a bite out of the ceiling.
"Team Homo, blast off at the speed of sexy!"
"THE H(EEP!)?! NOTHING RHYMES WITH SEXY!" Envy yelled, a little irritated at Lust's ad-libbing.
Winry made her way back over to Sequoia, who was now running through the whole alphabet to find a word that rhymed with "sexy". "...Fexy, gexy, hexy, iexy...no.."
Lust tossed her hair. "Anyway, we're stealing all these Pokémists to give to our boss," she announced to no one in particular.
"Not on my watch!" Winry said, whipping out her wrench and hurling it like a boomerang. It popped the balloon and sent it crashing down, taking the whole ceiling with it.
"...Sexy, texy, uexy, vexy--oh, look! Now it's so easy to get some sun!" Sequoia said.
"You d(EEP!) brat!" Envy yelled as he, Lust, and Gluttony attempted to untangle their limbs.
"We'll get you!" Lust seconded.
Then two figures crashed through the ceiling that wasn't there and landed on the floor, which was now covered in a layer of ceiling. "OW G(EEP!)D(EEP!)IT!" Ed screamed.
"My face..." Al mumbled facedown.
"It's the usual twerps!" Lust complained. "Just what we don't need!"
Ed was too busy giving the censors a run for their money to notice what was going on. Al, however, did, and he stood to his feet. "What's going on?" he exclaimed.
"We just got a sunroof!" Sequoia cheered.
"Those three call themselves 'Team Homo'--" Here the room broke into snickers "--and tried to steal all the Poké--uh, people!" Winry said.
Team Homo finally got untangled and stood menacingly. Ed was writhing on the floor, holding his face and still swearing like an angry sailor who was just called a girly mama's boy and punched in the gut by a rival sailor. Al tried to get him to sit up.
"Now that we're untangled, you'll all feel our wrath!" Lust said. She whipped out Wrath plushies and started chucking them at Winry, Ed, Al, and Sequoia.
"Yay! I like feeling Wrath!" Sequoia cheered, grabbing a few and squeezing them.
Ed finally came back to the situation. "Al! How about a Body Slam?"
"You're kidding, right?" Al said.
"Just get in your armor and do it!"
So Al whipped out his armor, climbed in, and Body Slammed Team Homo into pulps. Somehow, even though he was Body Slamming them down, they ended up flying upwards.
"TEAM HOMO'S BLASTING OFF AGAAAAIN!" they cried as they disappeared with a twinkle.
"Well, that was disturbing, just like this entire fiasco," Ed said, brushing off his clothes.
"You saved the lab!" Sequoia cheered. "You have my utmost serfitude!"
"Don't you mean 'servitude'?" Winry pointed out.
"No, I'm serious! You have my Utmost Serfitude!" Sequoia said, pointing.
Ed looked down and realized he was standing on a girl's head. "My name is unfortunately Utmost Serfitude," the girl said. "I'm her Pokémist."
"Oh. Sorry." Ed stepped off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Winry screamed.
Everyone whirled to see her pointing and gaping at her beautiful bike, which she had spent months putting together. It was now flattened under a hunk of concrete.
"Oh, wow, that sucks," Ed commented.
"Sorry, Winry," Al said.
Winry said nothing but merely whipped out her wrench and hurled it like a boomerang, knocking both brothers out with a single swing.
"Wow, you're good!" Sequoia chirped.
Winry sighed and turned back to her bike. It was ruined. Well, now all she could do was hound Ed until he coughed up the money to fix it or buy her a new one. That might take a while.
"By the way," Sequoia said, "what Pokémist did you pick?"
"Oh, I don't remember," Winry said. "I grabbed one by the arm, but--"
"That was me," a new voice said.
Winry turned and saw Paninya. "Hey, I'm your Pokémist, love and drag me around," Paninya introduced herself. She handed Winry some sort of identification card, her birth certificate, her passport, and her medication.
"Is this what I signed up for?" Winry asked in confusion.
"Yes," Paninya said firmly.
Then Sequoia tripped over a Wrath plushie, and Ed and Al came to long enough to laugh heartily with Winry and Paninya and walk into the sunset.
Narrator: So, our heroes move on to the next destination, having acquired a new friend in Winry, and her Pokémist, Paninya. Who know what interesting twists and turns our group will encounter? And what will--
"SHUT THE F(EEP!) UP!" Ed yelled at the sky, fed up.
Narrator: That potty mouth could get you in trouble, young man!
Ed gave the sky as evil a glare as he could muster. "If I didn't have to deal with a d(EEP!) f(EEP!)ing (EEP!)hole like you, then I would--"
"Cut that out!" Winry yelled, smacking him over the head with her wrench.
Narrator: You know, I think I'm going to like this girl!
"SHUT UP!" three of them yelled at the sky.
"Is it too much to ask for us to walk peacefully into the sunset?" Al sighed.
Almost as fun as the first! I'm thinking about a third episode--what do you think?
