The word conspiracy flashed in Barton's head. Seriously, he must've somehow managed to really offend all the machines of the world because they definitely seemed to have it out for him. If JARVIS hadn't sworn that Tony had nothing to do with his technological fiasco, he would be in Tony's lab right now having a bird. His computer crashed at two in the morning and after an hour of profanity and JARVIS trying to restore Clint's file, he finally had to resort to trying to retype it. All of which would have been par for the course this week; but the archer's problems didn't stop there. He had just finished typing at 4:45, enough time to print and place the useless report on his handler's desk, except for the fact that the printer was out of ink.

Fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes to get to another printer in a technological based building and print the report and get it to Zalle's office; totally doable. Clint still had hope that he would succeed, even after he found a lab with a printer and only had seven minutes to spare. After that printer refused to print his report, Clint ran down to Tony's lab. He would pay for a new printer, knowing that the smashed remains he left in the other lab weren't salvageable, if Stark would just print the report for him.

It was five o'clock when Barton punched his code to open the door to Stark's lab. He was going to hear about it from Zalle now, but he wasn't going into that office without the damn report. Tony was passed out slumped over the table drooling. "Tony!"

Stark startled awake and looked around to see what roused him. "What can I do for you Barton?" yawned the inventor.

"Computers hate me today. Can you print the report on this jump drive for me?"

Tony scoffed at the stick Barton was passing him. "Print? Who prints anything anymore?"

"People who have to submit hard copy reports to bitchy handlers. Can you do it?" He knew he failed at keeping the bite and desperation out of his voice.

"Ok, Ok, I'm on it, calm down." Tony started digging in his pile of clutter for a printer. It took about ten minutes but he proved successful.

At five-fifteen Barton stood at attention in Zalle's office at Stark Tower, report in hand. Zalle took a moment to finish whatever she was working on, and another to scrutinize the man before her. "Apparently we need to work on your time telling skills Agent Barton."

Clint rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. Bring it on.

"When I say I want your report on my desk at 0500 hours, I mean 0500 hours not 4:58, not 5:01 but five o'clock. Was there something about those instructions that eluded you?"

"No ma'am," snapped Clint.

"Good; because I'd hate to think that a team charged with saving the world can't do something on time. Consider this you're only warning. The next offense will have consequences. Dismissed." Zalle absentmindedly waved Clint out of her office.

Clint stormed out of the office and took the elevator back up to his room. He just wanted to put the last twenty-four hours behind him. Maybe if he got some sleep when he woke up this string of bad luck would end. He pulled the sheets back and was just about to crawl into bed for some much needed rest when the alarm sounded.

"Oh tell me this is a joke JARVIS," sighed Hawkeye.

"I'm afraid not sir. The Avengers are required to meet in the garage for a mission."

Why not? Clint fumbled with his gear and grabbed his bow then made his way to the garage for the assignment.


Hawkeye stood on the ledge of the building and watched his team in action. It looked like someone's science experiment went horribly wrong, and the street was filling up with blobby looking gnomes. Bruce had offered some explanation as to why they were multiplying but the science mumbo jumbo wasn't really Clint's thing; the gist was if you didn't kill them they split in two, so make your shots count. Barton could handle that part.

The bright side was Zalle was silently observing somewhere. Clint wasn't sure he really wanted her chattering over the comms. The last handler Fury had saddled the team with insisted on giving the team a blow by blow as if they weren't actively participating in the fight. Zalle may be stone cold, but at least she seemed to think the team could handle the situation.

Clint released another arrow and moved to the corner of the ledge to get a better angle on helping Thor out. A sharp buzzing noise sounded through Clint's comm. causing the archer to wince. He tapped the device frantically to try and make the painful noise stop; his ear was ringing but he did manage to get the sound to stop. He couldn't hear the team's chatter anymore but at least the noise stopped. He'd have to remember to get a new radio when the mission was over; in the meantime he'd just have to keep a close eye on the team since he couldn't warn them his radio was out.

Thor swung his hammer into a group of blob gnomes causing them to fly through the air. Hawkeye loosed an explosive arrow into one and the following explosion caused them all to explode covering the building, sidewalk and Clint in yellow slime. Barton wiped some of the goo off of his face and waved at Thor who was laughing at the archer's current state.

The team continued on taking out the enemy as fast as they appeared. Captain America figured out he had to squish them under his shield to get the gnomes to stay dead and not split. Iron Man was dissolving them with the energy from his repulsars. Thor was going to have to give Mjolnir some serious TLC when all this was over and Hulk was giving new meaning to toe jam.

Rogers paused for a moment to catch his breath. The gnomes were relentless but their numbers were dwindling. The ground trembled under his feet and Steve looked around to find out where the Hulk was. The green guy was pounding the goo into the side of a building but not doing anything to cause the ground to tremble. An ominous rumble echoed down the street and Steve laid eyes on the source. "Heads up guys; looks like there's a bigger one out there."

The team acknowledged as they laid eyes on the gnome that was easily as high as a three story building except for Hawkeye. The Captain began searching the rooftops to see where their sniper had gotten; it wasn't like him not to respond to a check in. He caught the archer out of the corner of his eye, precariously perched on the corner of the building above Thor. "Hawkeye respond. I need you to take that big one out with an explosive arrow."

"Agent Barton confirm your new orders," snapped Agent Zalle.

Silence rained over the comms as everyone waited for a reply that never came. Steve frantically looked around to see if either Thor or Iron Man were free to take out their biggest threat. Both were busy protecting civilians and Steve wouldn't be able to crush something that size. If they didn't kill it, it would split and they didn't need two that size roaming the city and Hulk was too far away for Steve to get his attention.

Hawkeye felt the building start to shake and paused in releasing his next arrow. He turned around just as the hand of the giant gnome reached over the side of the building to pull itself up. Clint turned around and switched to an arrow with a higher explosive. The creature just pulled itself up on Barton's rooftop when he let the arrow fly. Naturally it found its target and exploded sending a tidal wave of goo in every direction. It would have been fine if the archer's bad day hadn't decided to turn into a bad week.

Clint took a step closer to jump off of the raised ledge and back onto the main part of the roof to avoid the wall of goo when his foot slipped on a glob from the last bunch of gnomes he blew up. It wasn't his most graceful dismount off a building but he was high enough that he had time to deploy his grappling arrow and stop himself from splattering on the pavement below. He just pulled the arrow out of his quiver when he slammed into one of the balcony railings. Pain shot through his shoulder and the arrow slipped out of his grasp. He flipped over the railing and continued to plummet down. He managed to snag a hold of the railing on the balcony below and grunted in pain as his injured shoulder pulled with the force of stopping himself. Clint painstakingly grabbed a hold with his other hand and dangled ten floors above the ground.

Gritting his teeth he quickly released one hand to tap his radio. His other hand slipped fractionally until he clamped his other hand back on the railing. With the impact his shoulder suffered he didn't have the strength to pull himself up or hold onto the railing for much longer. "This is Hawkeye, can anyone swing by and pick me up; kind of hanging by a thread here people."

Silence. Crap! Busted radio. Clint started to frantically look around for help or some way to get himself onto that balcony. He would have asked if anything else could go wrong, but the universe would probably take it as a challenge.

Rogers heard the large gnome explode and continued with his smaller nuisances. He glanced briefly at the roof when he hadn't seen any arrows for a few minutes. Barton may not have been answering his comm. but he had still been taking out the enemy. Not catching sight of the archer he called Tony. "Stark, I lost visual on Hawkeye. Can you fly by the building and take a look?"

"On it Cap," replied Stark as he dropped the civilian he rescued off with the SHIELD agents that were holding the perimeter. He zipped over the empty roof then dropped down as he noticed the teammate in question. Hovering beside his hanging friend he said, "working on your circus act there?"

"Jokes later, help now!" grunted Clint.

"Hang on." Iron Man grabbed Barton and blasted off towards the rally point.

With the threat taken care of and clean up well on its way, Steve, Bruce and Thor made their way to join Tony as he waited for the medics to finish assessing their flightless bird.

"What happened?" asked Steve.

"Hawkeye here decided to ignore a very important rule about gravity," chuckled Tony.

"I'm fine Cap," assured Clint. "Just bruised and a little sore." Steve looked at the medic who nodded to support Barton's claim.

"You're sure?" checked Bruce.

Barton was going to try and ease their concerns, but braced for the impending argument instead as Agent Zalle stormed towards the group.

"Why weren't you answering your radio?" demanded their handler.

"Yay, good job team, way to save the day," enthused Stark as he drew Zalle's attention. "He's fine by the way. I could tell you were concerned."

"Radio's broken," mumbled Clint.

"Do you realize the danger you could have put the team in. What if they needed your help? You wouldn't be in a position to support them," scolded the irate agent.

"He said the radio broke ma'am. He was in just as much danger as the rest of us. Sometimes your technological marvels fail," interrupted Steve.

"I want all of your reports on my desk by 1700 hours today; the team debrief will begin at 1300 hours. Agent Barton you will report to my office at 1100 hours for a personal debrief. Doctor Banner, we will still have our meeting at noon," snapped Zalle as she stormed off yelling at several agents engaged in the cleanup effort.

"Well, I see that stick is still firmly planted up her ass," snarled Tony.

"I heard that Mr. Stark!" shouted Zalle from somewhere in the crowd.

"You were meant to!" called back the annoyed inventor.

Clint leaned over and buried his face in the mattress of the stretcher he was sitting on and let out a frustrated growl. This was just what he needed today.