AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, I realize I said this wasn't gonna be a KiGo, but in the name of lulz, I've had an idea for a KiGo bit in the story. Immortal7 helped with the inspiration and ideas in this one, so props to him. :D
And yes, I do blow my own trumpet a little too much in this chapter towards the end, but I don't care. It's my story and I can make myself out to be whatever I like. Although I've tried to keep myself relatively in character. :P
Chapter 2
Gonzo got up in the morning… at least he thought it was morning before looking at the clock on his mobile. "Oh for fuck's sake!" He complained to no-one. He'd actually meant to get up before 11 and get down the piercing studio early. Alas, this was no longer the case.
Pulling on some clothes, still grumbling to himself, he managed to kick the bike frame sitting by his door on his way out. "Ouch! Why did I leave that fucking thing there?!" "Har har! Serves you right!" Came the smart-alec reply from his younger brother. "Yeah, fuck off." He spat as he walked past. He headed for the shower.
Marc had already been at work since 9am and had been decidedly distracted. Even the token Mexican, who wasn't really a Mexican, couldn't keep his attention for more than a few minutes. "Ey man, wassup? You been deestracted all day, esse." He said.
"Yeah, sorry man. Got things on my mind." Marc replied.
"Ey, tha's cool, esse. Anytheen' I can help you weeth?" The fake Mexican asked.
Marc let out a short laugh. "Heh. You could get me a one-way ticket to America and a fake Visa if you like…" He replied.
"Sorry, man. No can do. My contacts mainly deal weeth guns an' sheet." The tanned man said apologetically.
"I was joking you dumb Burrito-loving shitwizard!" Marc answered with a laugh.
Shego, at this time, was still in bed. As was Kim. They both wore content smiles, though.
Gonzo, realizing the closest piercing studio that did the kind of piercings he was after was about 20 miles away, sighed in defeat and pulled on his riding gear before wheeling his bike out of the shed and starting it up, cursing loudly as he'd momentarily forgotten about the stand and it smacked him in the shin.
He set off and was walking through the door of the piercing studio about 10 minutes later. "Alright mate. What can we do for you?" The man behind the counter asked.
"Prince Albert and a Jacob's Ladder." Gonzo answered. The man behind the counter looked at him. "You're a glutton for punishment en't ya? You do realize that's gonna hurt like buggery." He stated.
"Seriously, I don't need this made any harder than it already is. The longer I stand here, the more chance I got of walking out…" Gonzo replied.
The man just shrugged. "Fair enough I spose. Stick yer stuff over there and follow me."
Walking through to a very clean room, he indicated for Gonzo to drop his keks and lay back on the table. He came over with a selection of piercing needles, rings and bars. "How many rungs you want?" He asked. "Let's go with 5" Gonzo answered before giving himself chance to think.
He lay there and stared at the ceiling as the other man got everything ready, with a quick warning of "Brace yourself." Before sticking the first needle through. "Jeeeeeesus!" He hissed through clenched teeth. Then the next one went through, then another and another until he had all 6 holes done. He was laying there white as the sheet he was laying on and was having to bite his tongue to keep from yelling. 'I'd better get some fucking good payback for this…' He thought to himself.
After having all the bars and ring put through, the man gave him some instructions on how to care for it and suggested going down the pub for a while to recover. "Believe me, that's exactly where I'm going when I get home!" Gonzo replied. He paid and left.
Gonzo came out of the shop and climbed back on his bike, wincing as the seat made it known exactly how tender the area now was.
He got home in record time, not wanting to stay on the seat any longer than necessary, and sent an email to Shego:
Shego, been and had it done. I now walk like John Wayne after he's spent too long in the saddle. You really have no idea how fucking sore this shit is! You'd better come for a visit now cuz otherwise you'll be on my hitlist as well as the rest of the world's, and I won't settle for sticking you in a cell. :P
Later biatch.
He logged off and proceeded to limp down the pub, sending Marc a text once he was there.
Marc got the text just as he was about to leave work. "Oh my god! He's actually gone and done it! What a knob!" He exclaimed.
He replied, saying he was on his way and to have one waiting on the bar.
On getting there, he did indeed have one waiting for him at the bar and sat down next to his decidedly pale-looking chum. "Jesus, buddy! You look almost as green as Shego!" He said.
"Yeah, don't rub it in. Seriously, I literally just went for a piss and it was like somebody had just set light to it!" Gonzo informed him.
Marc laughed. "Teach you to open your mouth then, wunnit?"
"Yeah, whatever. Just shut up and drink." Gonzo replied sourly.
Later that afternoon, they were both online waiting for their female friends across the pond to sign on.
Kim was first online and started a conversation with Marc immediately.
KP: Hey Marc. I got a bone to pick with you.
Marc: Wossup Kim?
KP: I was on encyclopaedia dramatica last night and found out about /b/. Please tell me you're not some kind of sick paedophile animal lover or something!
Marc: Seriously, what do you take me for? I'm in it for the lulz. CP and animal porn are sick and wrong.
KP: What about Gonzo?
Marc: He's an entirely different kettle of fish.
KP: What, you mean he's into that stuff?! EW! WRONGSICK!
Marc: lulz. Man, you're gullible. :P
KP: NOT FUNNY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Marc: The internet. It's serious business. :D
Marc: No, he's not into that shit. Ask him yourself. Although he's far more jaded than I am.
KP: What do you mean by that?
Marc: Basically you can show that man anything, no matter how wrongsick, and it won't shock him at all. Tubgirl, hai2u, lemonparty, even the pain series won't even make him shudder.
KP: Do I even want to know what the pain series is?
Marc: Only if you want to look at the contents of your stomach as you launch it at your monitor. :P
KP: Ew!
Marc: lulz.
Marc: oh, Gonzo's got his dick pierced now. I just been down the pub with him. Man, he looked almost as green as Shego!
KP: Poor guy. That must have hurt.
Marc: lol. I wouldn't feel sorry for him. He brought it on himself after all.
KP: That's not very nice! He's your friend!
Marc: I still think it's funny. Remember, I'm a /b/tard. I laugh at other's misfortune, especially self-inflicted. :D
KP: You're mean.
Marc: I'm quite nice really.
KP: No you're not.
Marc: ok, you got me there. :P
KP: You're meant to disagree!
Marc: …What?
KP: You're meant to disagree and prove to me that you're a nice guy!
Marc: ok, that's just confusing.
KP: Men!
Marc: I could say 'women' in the same context, but I'm not going to. I'm above that.
KP: Whatever.
Marc: lulz.
Kim decided to talk to Gonzo to find out if Marc was right.
KP: Hey Gonzo.
Gonzo: Sup.
KP: Are you into animal and child porn?
Gonzo: Where the fuck did that come from? And no. I'm not. Kiddie fiddlers should be shot on sight.
KP: I read about /b/ on encyc. dram. And was weirded out. I thought you might be some sort of sick paedophile.
Gonzo: Oh nice. :P
KP: How's your… thing?
Gonzo: My thing…
KP: You know, the thing you got pierced?
Gonzo: Fucking painful. Even through the numbing qualities of alcohol. I might start on the Drambuie yet…
KP: Language! And what's Drambuie?
Gonzo: Yes, I speak English. :P
Gonzo: Drambuie is a Scottish liqueur. Very sweet, very smooth and VERY strong. Goes well with Jack Daniels.
KP: I wouldn't know. I don't drink.
Gonzo: Oh yeah, I forgot. You're a good girl. :P
KP: You say that like it's a bad thing. :(
Gonzo: It's all well and good when you do the whole world-saving wossname, but seriously, you need to let your hair down and indulge in some 'forbidden pleasures' every now and again. It's not good for you to be so bloody nice all the time! You gotta go out and have a laugh, be stupid, indulge your wild side.
KP: But what about my reputation? It would be ruined if I 'let my hair down'!
Gonzo: For fuck's sake! You're only human! Nobody can expect you to be perfect all your life!
KP: Anything's possible for a Possible.
Gonzo: Yeah, that includes having fun, you know. Now, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but GET A LIFE!!!
Gonzo: Go out and socialize a bit more, go to a few parties, get some hobbies other than running round the world playing superwoman and cheerleading. If you ever come to visit, me an Marc'll take you out for some fun.
KP: I'm not sure I'll like what you class as 'fun'.
Gonzo: Yeah you will. Don't be such a square.
KP: I am not a square!
Gonzo: You so are!
KP: So not!
Gonzo: Ok, when Shego decides to come over for a visit, come with her and we'll show you what real fun's all about.
KP: I got school though.
Gonzo: SQUARE!!!!!!!
KP: AM NOT!
Gonzo: You know what you gotta do to prove it. :P
KP: You are so on, mullet boy!
Gonzo: -grins- I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.
Gonzo opened up a chat window to Marc.
Gonzo: Hey dude. You're gonna be seeing your redhead cheerleader sooner than you thought. I got her coming over with Shego so we can go out on the piss and show her what real fun's all about. :D
Marc: ledge!
Marc: When they coming?
Gonzo: Dunno yet. Gotta talk to Shego about it.
Marc: Talk of the devil, she's online.
Gonzo: Sweet.
He opened another chat window to the villainess.
Gonzo: Sup biatch.
Shego: Aight cripple boy.
Gonzo: You get my email?
Shego: Just reading it.
Gonzo: kk
Shego: Oooh! Threats from you too? I -am- popular!
Gonzo: You love it.
Shego: Only cuz I know you wouldn't follow through with it.
Gonzo: Drat! Foiled again!
Shego: lol. You love me really.
Gonzo: Once again, you have found my weakness. :P
Gonzo: So when you coming over?
Shego: Later today once I got a few things sorted out.
Gonzo: Fukken sweeeeeeet!
Gonzo: How you getting here?
Shego: I'm borrowing one of Blue Boy's hovercrafts.
Gonzo: Any chance of picking dear Kimmie up? I called her a square cuz she's got no life outside of school, cheerleading and saving the world, so she wants to come over to prove me wrong. :P
Shego: You mean you want me to put up with Little Miss Perfect as well as you and your weird friends?
Gonzo: Something like that. Anyway, I figure you owe me cuz my dick feels like somebody's smacked it repeatedly with a red-hot sledgehammer. And I only did it for you.
Shego: I don't owe you shit, bitch! I was gonna come over anyway.
Gonzo: You never mentioned that!
Shego: You never asked. :P
Gonzo: -grumbles- So now I'm not gonna be able to even wank for 6 months and I could have avoided it all just by asking?! What a fucking numpty!
Shego: -laughs- You're cute when you're angry.
Gonzo: And to top it all off, I get called cute?! What an awesome day I'm having…
Shego: lol. :P
Shego: I'm sure I can help you with your frustrations. After all, they didn't say no tongues… :)
Gonzo: … ouch. I can see I'm gonna have to be dosed up on painkillers to enjoy this.
Shego: -is confused-
Gonzo: The mental imagery you just sparked off gave me a semi and it stings like buggery!
Shego: LOL!!! Aww, poor Gonzo's dirty mind causing him pain?
Gonzo: DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS!
Shego: ROFL! You're funny.
Gonzo: I'm glad my pain and suffering amuses you. :P
Shego: You know it does.
Gonzo: -headbangs-
Shego: eh?
Gonzo: Sorry, listening to Skid Row – Lamb.
Shego: Prefer AC/DC myself. Angus has got to be the most awesome guitar player in the world!
Gonzo: 0.0
Gonzo: You like AC/DC?!
Shego: Got every single album on vinyl and CD, including the limited editions and singles.
Gonzo: -turns greener than you with envy- I fucking LOVE AC/DC!!! I'd sell my soul to the devil to have that collection!
Shego: I'm open to negotiations…
Gonzo: ror.
Shego: wtf?
Gonzo: ror. Raff Out Roud. Asian version of lol cuz they can't pronounce 'L's.
Shego: lol. You're mad.
Gonzo: So everyone keeps telling me. :P
Flicking back over to Marc's window, he told his friend the good news.
Gonzo: Shego's coming over later today. She's agreed to pick Kim up.
Marc: Fucking ace! Dude, I owe you so much for this shit!
Gonzo: Just buy the beers tonight and we'll call it even.
Marc: Deal, man. Got paid today, so it's all good.
Gonzo: Sweet.
He then flicked to Kim's window.
Gonzo: Shego's agreed to take you. Better start getting ready cuz she's leaving some time today. Better sort out the times with her.
KP: today?!! I gotta have a shower and do my homework!
Gonzo: SQUARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!11!1!!11ONEONE
Gonzo: Seriously, the homework can wait. I went a whole year at school without doing any homework at home. I either did it on the train there or in detention.
KP: OMG! I could NEVER do that!
Gonzo: Shut up and get your arse in gear. I'll find out what time Shego's leaving for you if you want.
KP: No, I can manage that.
Gonzo: kk.
Kim opened a window to her nemesis.
KP: So what time are you planning on leaving?
Shego: Bout an hour or so. I'll drop by your house on the way. Drakken's fitted some newfangled hyperdrive thingy-wotsit and an autopilot, so should only take about half an hour to get there.
KP: Cool. What do you think I should bring?
Shego: Condoms and lube. :P
KP: GROSS! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!
Shego: Hey, it's what I would have taken if mullet boy hadn't been stupid enough to turn his penis into swiss cheese. :P
KP: You're sick.
Shego: No, I'm horny. You have no idea how long it's been since I even had a date, let alone any action! I'd be worried it might heal over if it wasn't for some of Drakken's more phallic-shaped devices.
KP: TMI! TMI! I really don't want to know what you get up to with Drakken's inventions! And to think I could have touched one, too!
Shego: I can think of at least 3 you touched last time you were at the lair. :P
KP: EW! EWEWEWEWEW!!!! I'm never gonna stop washing my hands now!
Shego: FUCKING LOL!!!
Shego: I won't tell you that one of them was still wet when you grabbed it.
Shego: Oops. Too late.
KP: THAT IS JUST SICK AND WRONG! YOU ARE FOUL AND DISGUSTING AND I ACTUALLY FEEL SICK!!!
Shego: Omg! You have no idea how funny that is! I'm actually crying I'm laughing so hard!
KP: -pouts- Bitch.
Shego: Language, Kimmie.
KP: Oh shut up!
She flicked back over to Gonzo's window.
KP: Your girlfriend is disgusting!
Gonzo: I wouldn't go as far as calling her my g/f, but I can imagine she's far from pure. :P
KP: She was just telling me about what she does with Drakken's inventions when she gets… aroused.
Gonzo: ROR!!!
Gonzo: I can imagine they weren't exactly clean. :P
KP: No they weren't! It actually made me feel sick! And what's ror?
Gonzo: Gonzo: ror. Raff Out Roud. Asian version of lol cuz they can't pronounce 'L's
KP: Oh, ok. That's actually quite funny. ror. :D
Gonzo: heh.
The redhead flicked back to Marc's window.
KP: I'm gonna be in England in about an hour and a half. I gotta have a shower and pack some clothes, so I'll see you when I get there.
Marc: Nice. See you later then, Kim.
KP: See you later. -hugs- xx
KP: May not reply as he/she appears to be offline.
Marc waved goodbye at the screen sarcastically and opened a window to Shego.
Marc: Hey hey.
Shego: Man, they're crawling outta the woodwork today!
Marc: You're so nice to me.
Shego: What gave you the impression I was trying to be nice?
Marc: Sarcasm, dear.
Shego: I knew that.
Marc: You keep telling yourself that. :P
Shego: Hey, I only let mullet boy get away with talking like that, so watch yourself, babyface.
Marc: Hey, amp down on the hostility. I'm onlu kidding.
Marc: only, even.
Marc: I just wanted to say thanks for giving Kim a ride over. I appreciate it.
Shego: Oh. Right. No problem.
Marc: ror.
Shego: He got you with it as well?!
Marc: Yeah. I thought it was a classic!
Shego: I'll admit it's mildly amusing. I wouldn't go as far as 'classic'.
Marc: Come on! It's genius! For him anyway…
Shego: lol. I suppose you're right there.
Marc: Course I'm right. :P
Shego: There's only room for one ego in this conversation and that's mine. STFU. Anyway, I gotta go and pack.
She flicked back to Gonzo's window.
Shego: Sorry babe, I gotta go and pack. I'll see you in about an hour.
Gonzo: Fairymuff. Catch you later pretty lady.
Shego: Actually, where do you live? And will there be anywhere to land?
Gonzo: Now you ask. :P
Gonzo: I live at (insert imaginary address here) next to an ambulance station, so you can land on their roof. I doubt a hovercraft is gonna be heavy enough to collapse it. If it does, oh well. I get some of my garden back.
Shego: lol. Madman.
Gonzo: Thanks. :D
Gonzo: Anyway, see you in an hour.
Shego: Will do, mullet boy.
Shego: May not reply because he/she appears to be offline.
As Shego and Kim had disappeared, Gonzo flicked back to Marc's window.
Gonzo: Sorry to cut and run like the laydeez, but I gotta get busy tidying my room so I don't look like a complete slob. :P
Marc: No worries, dude. I should do the same really. Where they turning up?
Gonzo: My gaff, bout an hour's time.
Marc: Cool. Mind if I pop round before then?
Gonzo: Go for it, dude. Play it right, you might even be able to crash here too. I doubt Shego's gonna want to put up with my sister's pisshead friends so she'll probly scare 'em off.
Marc: Dude! That would be epic!
Gonzo: lawl.
Gonzo: Anyhoo, catch you later.
Marc: Later dude. See you in a while.
Gonzo: Will do.
Gonzo: May not reply because he/she appears to be offline.
He pulled himself out of the chair behind his desk and grabbed the old metal office bin he'd nicked from a skip and went round his room picking up any rubbish he could find and chucking it in the bin. A few minutes later, the bin was overflowing and he had to squash the contents down with his foot to get more in.
Within half an hour, his room looked almost presentable. A quick rearranging of a few bits and he was done. 'I need a bigger room.' He thought to himself. He had barely enough space to get the spare mattress on the floor with all the furniture in there as well.
It had been the master bedroom, but had been separated down the middle. His bed went across the back wall, but was 5 feet off the floor, having been built into the separating wall. The doorway was underneath, so you had to duck to enter the room. It was an odd setup, but it made better use of the limited space he had.
Taking the bin liner he had filled up, Gonzo walked downstairs and heard the familiar sound of Marc pulling up on his bike outside the front of the house. He walked out of the front door and deposited the rubbish in the main bin, telling Marc to 'sling the 'bike round the back' and he wandered back through the house to open the gate.
Marc rode in a few moments later and parked his bike in front of the shed. "Alright mate. How's it hangin'?" He asked, pulling his helmet off.
"All good here, man." Gonzo answered. "The laydeez should be here in about…" He pulled his mobile from his pocket and checked the time. "…Well, we got time for a cuppa before they turn up. Milk and one for you innit?"
"Spot on, mate. Could do with a brew." Marc answered.
"Fairymuff. Dump yer shit inside and stick the kettle on while I shut the gate." Gonzo instructed him while already on his way to the gate.
Marc wandered inside and set his helmet on the table and dropped his jacket in a corner for now before popping into the kitchen and turning the kettle on. Gonzo joined him shortly and began busying himself getting cups and teabags. "You're gonna have to settle for tart's bathwater, cuz I'm out of regular tea." Gonzo said as the kettle started to boil.
"Earl Grey eh? Fair dues I spose. Cuppa's a cuppa at the end of the day." Marc shrugged, not overly fussed.
Gonzo chuckled. "You're right there." He strolled out to the fridge and grabbed the milk, strolled back in and finished making the tea, handing Marc his cup on the way back to the fridge. "Cheers buddy." Marc thanked him.
"No worries dude. Might as well wait on the roof for 'em. Give 'em summat to aim for." The cripple suggested, walking back outside.
Tea in hands, they climbed up onto the ambulance station roof and stood looking around and drinking, trying to spot anything that might be classed as a low-flying UFO.
It wasn't long before Marc spotted something in the distance, approaching them fast. He nudged Gonzo and pointed. "You reckon that's them?"
"Bit early for red arrows, mate. Course it's gonna be them." Gonzo said with a smirk. He took another slurp of his tea, keeping his eyes on the hovercraft approaching them at a fair rate of knots. –WARNING: inside joke-- Marc also lapsed back into silence, eyes fixed on the black object before grinning, and in a perfect imitation of Microsoft Sam, said "Stop moving, black dot."
Gonzo, still drinking tea, suddenly spat a mouthful of it half back into the cup, half everywhere else and doubled over, killing himself laughing and choking on the hot liquid at the same time. "You fucking cunt! You did that on purpose!" He choked out after recovering slightly, still laughing. Marc had also started laughing hysterically and could only nod. –END inside joke—
A few moments later, they had both recovered enough to continue looking at the approaching hovercraft having finished their tea, although both were now wearing huge smirks.
Within a minute, it had slowed and was only a few blocks away, then over the next block, then right on top of them. It landed on the raised part of the roof next to the 2 young men and the large tinted domed 'roof' of the vehicle raised up with a whine of hydraulics, reminding them both of something out of Star Trek or something.
Before Gonzo knew what was happening, Shego had jumped out of the hovercraft and tackled him, knocking him onto his back and straddling him, sitting right on his tender member. "Hey Gonzo! Happy to see me?!" She exclaimed.
Gonzo had lost his voice and his face was twisted into a mask of agony. He was biting his bottom lip so hard he could taste blood. He couldn't think of anything else to do but point like a spastic.
It was Kim that came to his rescue, due to Marc being too busy rolling around on the roof laughing like a madman. "Shego, you're sitting on his… er… crotch, and judging by the look on his face, it's still more than a little sore." She said, giggling. She'd dressed in ¾ length blue jeans and one of her mission tops.
Shego's eyes went wide as it clicked and she quickly scrambled off him. "Oh shit! Gonzo, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize!" She said hurriedly, kneeling beside him, a look of concern on her face.
He suddenly let out a breath and his face finally relaxed slightly. "Fuck me sideways! Dear…GOD did that fucking hurt! Jesus H. Fucking Christ, I thought I was gonna pass out!" He was breathing heavily and had curled up into a semi-foetal position, his working arm cradling the bruised area.
Marc was still giggling uncontrollably in the background and Kim was actually almost as concerned as Shego was for the injured Brit. "I said I was sorry!" Shego snapped back.
"When in that little outburst did I direct anything towards you? I was merely voicing how much it hurt!" Gonzo replied, a little irritated that Shego had thought he was having a go at her.
"Well excuse me, Mr. Mulletman! Sorry I'm not good at reading minds!" Shego spat, standing up and folding her arms. She'd decided to ditch the catsuit, although she'd packed it, in favour of a tight black and green tie-dye t-shirt and boot fit black stonewash jeans.
Gonzo rolled his eyes and struggled to his feet. "Look, come 'ere." He told the green villainess, holding his arms open slightly offering a hug. She merely turned away from him. He dropped his arms in a defeated gesture and sighed. Kim watched the scene play out, a slightly amused smile on her face. It was like watching an old married couple bickering over something silly like whose turn it was to do the dishes.
Marc was watching it too, having finally stopped laughing at his injured friend and was now standing next to Kim. "This is better than watching TV." Marc said to her in a low voice. Kim giggled and nodded, turning to look at him. It was early Autumn and the sun was starting to set, so it lit up the edge of Marc's lithe silhouette with a golden glow. 'He looks gorgeous in the flesh!' The redhead decided. She moved closer to him and, noting he had his hands in his pockets, slipped an arm under his and pressed her body close, leaning against him slightly as she watched the other two. Marc adjusted his posture slightly and pulled a hand out of his pocket, putting it round the slim girl's waist.
Gonzo had hobbled over to Shego and tried putting an arm round her waist, only to be met with a cold glare, so he wisely decided to remove the appendage. "Look, I don't blame you for it. Any other time, I probably would have ended up with a woody and a huge grin. Don't take it personally." He told her.
"Whatever." Came the bitter reply.
Gonzo sighed again. "For fuck's sake, woman! What's wrong? What've I done?" He asked, exasperated. His temper, normally almost infinite, was rapidly evaporating. He hated being kept in the dark over something he'd done unwittingly. Shego didn't respond.
Kim cleared her throat. Gonzo turned to face the redhead, one eyebrow raised. She inclined her head in such a way insinuating he should come over to her, so once again, he hobbled across the roof towards the redhead. As he stopped in front of the pair, she leaned forward slightly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's not something you've done, it's something she's done. I've been kicking her ass long enough to know her moods quite well. She's pissed at herself, more than likely over sitting on you… like that." Kim said in a low voice.
Gonzo raised his eyebrows in a surprised manner. "Cheers for the info. Er… Any suggestions on what I should do?" He asked hopefully.
Kim giggled. "You're asking me for advice on relationships?! I'm hardly an expert! In case you hadn't noticed, I'm still single…" She replied, still in a low voice before Marc butted in. "S'cuse me, but if I have anythin' to do with it, you'll be far from single by the time you leave." He said confidently.
"And what makes you think that, Marc?" She asked innocently.
"This." Marc stated before putting his other hand under Kim's chin, turning her head to face him before going in for a kiss. Kim started blushing furiously.
Gonzo frowned, one eyebrow raised in annoyance as the pair proceeded to eat each other's faces and limped back over to Shego.
"Oi, bitch. Look at me." He ordered, standing directly in front of her, only an inch or so separating them. She turned her head to one side, her long hair obscuring her face almost completely. He reached out quickly and copied what Marc had done to Kim, only a bit quicker and with more force. He wasn't gonna have her moping over what he classed as a silly mistake, even if it did hurt like buggery. He looked her straight in the eye before speaking. "We'll have none o' this fuckin' moping over daft mistakes while you're here. That's my job." He stated, with a bit of a smile at the last part.
Shego's expression changed from cold indifference to one of sadness and she sighed. "I wanted this to be perfect, though. We'd all meet and greet each other with no problems and then go out and have a good time, then I went and ruined it by jumping on your cock!" She complained.
Gonzo laughed. "Shego." He said, putting his hands on her hips and pulling her close. "What?" She asked. "Shut the fuck up." He ordered before leaning in for a quick kiss.
As he leant back, Shego smiled before going in for one of her own, having no plans to make it quick. She put everything into that kiss. Every ounce of passion and desire she had bottled up. She'd waited too long for someone like Gonzo and she wasn't about to give him any reason to reject her. The mere thought made her shudder.
Gonzo, for the most part, was merely standing there enjoying it before his brain registered what was going on and told his mouth to respond.
After a few minutes of tonsil hockey from both couples, Gonzo heard a voice shouting in their direction. He paid it no mind until he heard things being thrown. He growled into the kiss and pulled away, much to Shego's displeasure. "Sorry, Shego. I gotta deal with this cunt."
He turned to where the voice was coming from and saw one of his neighbours from a few gardens down, arm raised holding a small pebble and an irate look on his face. He was old, probably in his 80's or 90's, short, and foreign. He didn't know what nationality, nor did he care. He'd once heard him ranting about being in the war, so assumed he was Polish or something. "If you even think of throwing that stone you miserable old bastard, I'll fucking launch a brick at you!" He screamed at the angry old man.
His neighbour seemed to consider this for a second and started ranting again instead. Gonzo couldn't quite make out the words through his thick accent and the fact he kept slipping back into his native tongue. He heard the words indecent, filthy, cheap and whores and that was enough for him. He pulled away from Shego and ran towards the edge of the roof and jumped.
He crashed straight through the old man's fence and managed, somehow, to pull off a half-decent forward roll before picking himself up and storming over to the now terrified pensioner, putting his hand round his throat. In a cold voice, eyes full of hate, he asked, "How about you say that to my face, cunt?"
The old man started to babble incoherently and put his hands up in surrender, scared witless at Gonzo's display of seeming insanity. "I didn't think you'd have the balls to repeat it, you miserable tosser. And just remember this next time you decide to try and bitch at me about something, alright?" He let the man go and stood there as he scurried back indoors.
Gonzo turned and looked up at where he'd leapt from, only now starting to feel the pain from crashing through a hefty wooden fence and landing on concrete. He hobbled through the gap in the fence, his dick reminding him it still wasn't in any fit state to be doing this kind of crazy shit.
Shego walked up to the edge of the roof and clapped. "Nice display, Gonzo! Now I know for sure you're completely barking!" She called over to him with a huge grin.
Marc just stood there laughing again. "Man, that was fucking hench as fuck! Epic lulz, dude!" Kim dug him in the ribs with her elbow. She'd stood there gawping in shock, not being able to believe what she was seeing! Somebody she'd known in person for about 10 minutes had just leapt off a roof, across the entire width of a garden and crashed through the fence of the next one, then proceeded to threaten a senior citizen!
"How could you do that?! He's an old man! What did he do to deserve that?!" She demanded.
By this time, a few other neighbours had come out to see what all the fuss was about and had managed to work out some of it, judging from the hole in the fence, the people on the roof and where Gonzo now stood.
Gonzo replied to Kim's question, grinning from the compliments of the other two. "I take it you weren't listening to what he was saying then, Kim. The gist of it was that you and Shego were cheap whores and what we were doing was indecent and filthy. That and he was throwing stones at us. Now I dunno about you, but I don't stand for that kinda shit from anyone, regardless of how old and decrepit they are. That and he's a grumpy old tosser anyway. Moans at me for something every other day it seems." He explained.
Kim was having none of it. "You still shouldn't have done that, regardless of what he was saying!"
Gonzo shrugged. "Bit late now, innit. I still say he deserved it. Just be thankful we're not in America and I didn't have a gun." He told her, hopping the wall back into his own garden, wincing horribly as his dick once again made It's tenderness known. "Jesus Christ!" He hissed, hanging onto the wall for support.
Shego jumped down beside him. "Are you ok?" She asked, concerned. Her trademark hard-arse appearance had gone for now.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna have to sit down for a while before we go DOWN THE PUB later." Gonzo replied, almost shouting 'down the pub' for reasons currently unbeknown to Shego.
"I am NOT DRINKING ALCOHOL, Gonzo!" Kim yelled from the roof. Gonzo grinned. "You will if we have anything to do with it!" He shouted back.
Standing up, he put an arm round Shego's waist and gave her another quick kiss. "The pain's worth it for you." He said in a whisper. Shego smiled and hugged him.
"Oi, Marc, chuck the bags down will ya? I'll take 'em inside." Gonzo suggested.
"Good idea, mate." Marc replied. He climbed up to the hovercraft and looked inside, spotting the bags and grabbed one, obviously Kim's, and lifted it out. "Jesus! Did you pack your whole wardrobe or somethin'?" He asked the cheerleader. She blushed in response. "'Ere, Gonzo! Catch!" Marc launched the bag down to his friend, who caught it one-handed against his upper arm.
"Fuck me! I don't think my bike weighs as much as this!" He commented, transferring it to his limp arm, then to the floor. Shego's bag followed it shortly and he caught it in the same manner, raising an eyebrow at Shego when he heard a metallic 'clunk' and some solid somethings, cylindrical in shape at a guess, rested against his arm. Shego merely grinned, causing Gonzo to roll his eyes and mutter the word "Dirty" at her under his breath, making the thief giggle.
He transferred the lighter bag to his injured limb and picked up the heavy one with his working one and walked inside. Shego followed him after pointing a remote at the hovercraft, which closed itself, then vanished from sight.
Kim and Marc were soon inside as well, and Gonzo directed them to the front room while he took the bags upstairs and got the other bed set up on his floor. "God I wish we had a fucking guestroom!" He moaned to no-one.
He came back down a few minutes later and flopped down in the armchair, that being the only available space left, wincing yet again. "I'm gonna have to learn to stop doing shit like that." He grumbled. Shego smirked. "Aww, you're so c-" "DON'T say it!" Gonzo cut her off, realizing what she was about to say. He fixed her with a look that told her he wasn't joking and, miraculously, she shut up. She did, however, fold her arms and pull off quite a good imitation of Kim's PDP. Gonzo could feel the effect, but wasn't about to give in. He turned on the TV and channel-hopped for a bit until Shego got bored of trying to use that trick.
"Is it essential to change channel every few seconds?" Kim asked, slightly annoyed.
"It's a bloke thing." Marc replied. Gonzo nodded, finally stopping on Planet Rock. There was nothing to watch as it was actually a radio station, but the music was good.
"Well this is a good show." Kim piped up once again. Marc chuckled and put his arm round her shoulder. "Do you ever stop your mouth working?" He asked sarcastically. Kim blushed yet again and the rest of them laughed.
FOOTNOTE: There's chapter 2. Yes, I know there's a bit of drama in it, but oh well. The old man in the story is indeed a miserable git and moans at me over stupid things. I've often thought of doing something like that to get him to leave me alone. Erm… Other than that, try and enjoy. :D
