Roses

I was in my art class, the class I had right before lunch and right after gym. It was conveniently placed; after gym, working on art always calmed me down for my other classes and settled my mind.

I'd always loved to draw, paint or basically create anything with my hands. Art was a way for me to lose myself, to forget pain and sadness. My iciness was my way of dealing with the world and protecting myself from hurt. Since I never expressed myself in words or shows of emotion, I poured my heart out into my pictures. It kept the tears back whenever I thought back over the horror of my life before Forks, my mother, him, the accident, how people couldn't look me in the face after, the screaming woman. It was all my fault. I felt the familiar weight fill my chest and close around my heart and I turned up my mp3, drowning myself in the music that mirrored my own predicament:

Pain, without love,

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick, of feeling numb,

You're not, the only one,

I'll take, you by the hand,

And I'll show you a world you can understand

This life, is filled with hurt,

When happiness, doesn't work,

Trust me, and take my hand,

When the lights go out,

You'll understand.

Pain! Without love,

Pain! Can't get enough,

Pain! I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all!

I threw myself into the picture I was drawing. I was using charcoal, alternating between the pencil and the actual stick. I had drawn a woman standing on the edge of a cliff, not looking like she was going to jump, but conveying a sense of such misery that I felt a knot in my throat. I shaded in her dress a bit, and added some last minute detail to her face. I was beginning to get the feeling of peace that usually came with drawing; I was in my own little world. That's when Edward walked past. He had every single class with me and always found some excuse to speak to me. All I wanted was to be left alone. People didn't know how to listen, just judge and accuse. I'd already fallen for someone once before, and he'd hurt me worse than I'd ever been hurt before. I was making the same mistake again.

The bell rang, making me jump. Kids started filing out of the classroom, going to lunch while I hurriedly put my things away, carefully putting my drawing down on Mrs. Morrello's desk. Before I turned away though, something caught my eye, a flash of red. I turned back to see a beautiful red rose, shown from the top, with the leaves from the stem cupping it. It was drawn with pastel on black paper, which made the color stand out more and the color was so expertly mixed that each petal looked as if I could stretch out my fingers and feel the soft velvet and lean in and inhale the sweet fragrance coming off the flower.

I stared down at it, mesmerized, tracing the lines and curves with my eyes, and disappearing into the swirl of colors. My world was broken apart once again by a voice, quiet and gentle, but curious, as that voice always seemed to be.

"Do you like it?" I turned around slowly, knowing exactly who to expect.

"And why should you care whether I like it or not?" I asked Edward in a voice that wasn't very hostile, but wasn't very nice at all.

He shrugged. "I don't. Whether you like my artwork or not doesn't matter, I'll still continue to create things regardless of your opinion. I was just curious." It took most of my self-control to keep my mouth from hanging open and my expression indifferent. He had drawn this beauty? I was the best artist in the school; no one else had my talent for creativity and this was one of the best pieces I'd ever seen. "I see that you're shocked. You wouldn't exactly think of me as the artist type, huh? More like a jock, right?"

I was afraid for reasons unknown to myself, and when I was frightened, I used offense as my defense and struck out like a cornered animal.

"Why would I care enough to waste my thoughts on you?" I asked icily. "I couldn't care less whether you're a jock, an artist or a circus performer from mars. I don't know you and I don't want to, so leave me the hell alone!"

I turned away from his piercing green eyes, which were boring into me like he was looking for my soul and couldn't find it, and grabbed my bag from the floor next to my desk. When I looked up, instead of finding him gone, I found him still standing there, his face inscrutable and his eyes distantly sad. "Why are you still here?" I asked nastily. "Shouldn't you be flirting with some other girl that actually cares about the things you do?"

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked me quietly.

"Because you exist." I spat angrily. "You haven't done anything yet, but you'll try and when you do, I'll have to take care of you the way I did Newton. Stay away from me." I didn't wait for his reply, but turned and walked out of the classroom and into the cafeteria.

I sat by myself in the lunchroom. Always did, always will. It wasn't that nobody wanted me, it was that I didn't want them. Everyday I either put in my earbuds or read a book while eating my lunch. I was indifferent to stares and was cold to anyone who tried to sit down. Today, I pulled my battered copy of Wuthering Heights from my bag and immersed myself in the 19th century world of Cathy and Heathcliff. I was just getting into the story when I felt someone's eyes on me. I looked up from my book and my eyes met a pair of emerald green ones. Edward was sitting at a table directly across from mine with several other kids. There was a big boy, who looked like a senior, with broad shoulders and muscled arms and curly brown hair, a blond boy, lean in comparison to the big one, with a strong-looking, compactly muscled body, more like Edward's. Next to the blond sat a beautiful girl with long golden hair. She looked so much like the blond that I knew they were brother and sister, maybe even twins. On the blond's other side was a tiny pixie-like girl with short, spiky black hair. She was chattering and the entire group was laughing and ignoring the stares the others were giving them and the whispers floating around.

Soooo. These were the new kids, huh? Looked like they were on their way to the top. Not like I cared.

I made my stare icy and hard and stared at Edward until he looked away, then I went back to my book.

After lunch I had Biology with Mr. Banner. I sat down at my table and waited for him to come into the classroom. While I was waiting, Jessica came up to me looking pissed.

"Hey Swan," She said, going for badass.

"What's up Stanley? Not that I particularly care." I answered disinterestedly. I didn't even look up at her; I went through my binder, looking for my notes.

"Stay away from Edward. He's mine, do you hear me? Mine. And I'm not going to let a little whore like you take him away from me. Got it?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

I looked up at her, bored. "One, I do what I want when I want with whomever I want. Two, go ahead and take him, see if I give a shit. And three, you bore me, piss off before you get hurt." And with that, I dug in my bag, pulled out my book, and started to read, ignoring her.

Jessica sputtered. "I'm not playing with you, Swan, I'll hurt you."

I gave a humorless laugh. "And I'm sure you're just dying to try, aren't you? I could always arrange it for you, of course. All it takes is no heart, no regret and no conscience, all three of which I possess. Getting the picture?"

"I'm serious, Swan. I wasn't playing with you."

"Neither," I said, getting annoyed, "was I." I tuned her out while she continued to yap, yap, yap, and soon, Edward walked through the door. I was jolted into awareness by his voice as he spoke to Jessica, who was still trying to get me to notice her.

"Is there a problem, Jessica?" He asked her smoothly. She stopped mid-sentence.

"Oh, hey Edward," she answered, trying to sound seductive, teasing and nonchalant at the same time. She ended up sounding like a cat choking on a hairball. "there's this party at Mike's place Saturday night. Be my date?"

Edward's tone went from smooth to exceedingly polite. "Sorry Jessica, I've got plans all weekend, starting on Friday." I could almost hear Jessica as she pouted.

"Oh, come on Eddie, what could be more fun than a party?"

"Lot's of things actually." Edward sounded as if he was done with the conversation as he sat down next to me. "Oh, and it's Edward, not Eddie." Jessica looked stricken and unbelieving. I let out a giggle and then told myself, what the hell, and busted up laughing, letting out peal after peal of laughter. The people in the class shot me wierded out looks; I never laughed, or really smiled here at school. I saw Edward look at me out of the corner of my eye and saw him close his eyes and smile lightly, as if he were listening to music he liked. Jessica looked pissed.

"Something funny, Swan?" She asked me.

I looked up at her. "Yeah, the fact that he didn't fall for your 'I'm trying to break the sluttiest whore record before the month ends' act. Screw off, Jessica."

She looked positively furious now, and just as she was about to reply, Mr. Banner ordered her back to her desk. She turned away, but not before giving me a glare that would kill pigeons in mid-air. I flipped her off and kept reading my book. When Mr. Banner cleared his voice at the front of the class, I dog-eared my page and opened my spiral to take notes.

We were mostly reviewing for a test that was coming up, so I started doodling, and ended up writing a poem:

Rose

No one gives the color red to a glacier,

Stones feel no velvet,

Love cannot dwell where there is no heart,

My heart no longer bleeds petals

I sighed, only one more class to go then I could go home to my puppy, Sebastian, and my dad. I sighed again. They were the only people in this world that I loved. I looked up and noticed Edward looking down at the poem I'd written. I waited for him to look confused; most people don't understand the things poetry express, but he looked like he knew and understood exactly what it meant. His wonderfully green eyes looked upset, distant and sad and he ran a hand through his messy bronze hair. His eyes met mine and I couldn't look away.

Something tugged in my chest and I felt my eyes close of their own accord. What was happening to me? I jolted myself out of the trance and quickly turned away. Little did I know that that was the beginning of something that would change my life forever.

The next morning, I opened my locker and found a single red rose with a note attached:

The one who gives red, might melt ice,

Stone may feel velvet, if given the chance,

Love may bring a heart back,

Pain may be banished if destroyed by something

And your heart may never bleed again.

I could feel the blood rise to my cheeks and my heart gave an odd thump. I caressed the rose's luscious petals and inhaled the sweet aroma coming off it. I knew Edward had put it there, but I couldn't bring myself to hate his gift because it was so beautiful. I kissed one of the petals and put it carefully down on top of one of the books in my locker and closed it back.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it took so long, but I had a lot to do. Oh, and sorry for the future because it might take me some time to write the next one because winter break is over and I really need to pick up my Biology grade. But, as a special treat, I'll be writing the next one in Edward's point of view. I love reviews so if you read PLEASE review and whether you hated it, liked it, loved it, I want to know. Oh, yeah, and my B-day is on Jan. 4th and it just MIGHT helped me write faster if someone told me happy birthday in a review ^_^ Happy New Year and until next we meet.