notes: well, this has been on my hard drive since December 20th, 2012. thought i might as well upload it. it's been written for the better part of four years, but i've always been too afraid of the feedback i'd get if i posted. that being said, this chapter completely shits on the summary and what the first chapter probably led you to believe. for that i am sorry. i also sincerely apologize for the wait. this long break between chapters is on me alone. so, i changed the category information. please note that this chapter was written by an eleven year old with their first laptop and no idea what to write, whose only interaction with the characters involve really murky memories of Naruto reruns on Jetix. blergh. as the updated summary reads, i may find inspiration for this yet! now, i just don't have the drive, nor the ability to commit to writing a story of the magnitude that was planned for this. as always... enjoy? i guess?


"That was reckless, Naruto! Do you know how much shit you have just put me in with Setsuna?! She's gonna whip my ass 5 ways to next month! LITERALLY!" Hinata, now awake, was screaming at Naruto. He sat on the couch, head bowed, arms dangling limply by his sides. A small cloud hung over his head, raining on his not-so-good mood. Hinata was currently pacing back and forth in front of the couch waving her arms around in exaggerated motions.

"Not to mention, YOU JUST BLEW OUR COVER!"

"Eh, Hinata?"

"WHAT, TEME?"

"Obaa-chan wants to see us." Hinata froze. Her eyes became wide and the coloring of her eyes faded to flames of fury. She grabbed Naruto by his collar and begun to violently shake him.

"AND YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER THIS SOONER?!"

"I'm sorry!"

Hinata let him go and turned away from him. Folding her arms across her chest, she said, "Whatever. Let's just go." She disappeared in a column of swirling white light.

"Hinata," Naruto whined, "Don't be like that." He, too, vanishing in a flurry of orange light.


Sakura lay on the floor in shock. How the hell was Hinata able to do that? Much less Naruto?! Something was going on. No matter! Sasu-kun wouldn't let anything happen to her. Unless Hinata took him from her! THAT BITCH! Trying to seduce her man, just like that PIG! Oh, she was SO going to get it! First trying to get his attention by being all shy, then that display of power! Sakura could never match that, not that she would ever realize it. Sitting up, she remembered that Sasuke was also on the floor and rushed to his (unwanted) aid.

"Sasu-kun~! Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Do you want to confess you're undying love for me~? Sasu-kun?"

"…"

"Sasu-chan?"

"Bitch, move."

"Oh, Sasu-CHAN~~~~! I knew you loved me, but a pet name! You really should have - sooner even!"

The whole pre-liminary arena was watching them now, whispering on how Sakura couldn't take a hint. Even Ino didn't care about Sasuke anymore. Why should she? He was a douche after all.

Kakashi watched the exchange with his visible eye twitching and a very valid urge to put her through a thousand years of pain; with his Sharingan, anything was possible! He never knew why the Hokage put her in his team. He had hoped it was an assassination mission, but no, she was actually a genin, albeit a useless one. All she did was cry and complain. And hit Naruto. And molest Sasuke. If he wanted that, he would have asked for Orochimaru on his team.

Gai Lee announced "WHAT PASSIONATE FLAMES OF YOUTH! YOSH!"

"YES SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

They embraced as a beautiful sunset appeared behind them. Tenten only sighed as she continued to rock a traumatized Neji back and forth. "It's okay, Neji. Your baby cousin won't hurt you anymore."

Neji only sobbed harder as Tenten continued to whisper words of comfort in to his ear. His pride had been shattered in to itty bitty pieces.

Kurenai sweat-dropped as she watched Sakura fan girl over Sasuke. She turned her attention to Kakashi, who looked back at her with a look that said 'please help me.' She mouthed back 'I'll try.'

"Okay, Sakura, back off. Give the boy some space, will you?" With that, Kakashi tried to pull Sakura away from the chicken ass haired ninja, but got a kunai thrown at him for his efforts.

Her mouth foamed and she growled, "Mine!" Kakashi just stared at her, best expressed as O_\ \. Sasuke had been pulled out of her grasp in that time by Kurenai and Shino. Sakura fell to her knees, a senbon sticking out of the back of her neck.

"Well, that was easy."