Waking

Aeron was floating. Nothing hurt. Everything was...calm, serene.

"He is waking." The worried female voice came from somewhere, but the calmness that surrounded Aeron was too pervasive to fight. He didn't try. "Everybody out." Sounds of movement came to Aeron's ears, but it didn't matter. Nothing did. He was...calm. Everything was calm and peaceful. "Aeron? Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you." Aeron replied. He tried opening his eyes, but they wouldn't. But the voice wasn't his. It was the same odd thing that had screamed at Stalker on the Corpus ship. It was his voice, but... it wasn't. "Where am I?"

"You in a medical center in our dojo." The female voice was calm and gentle. "We were the closest medical care. Currently you are floating in a tank filled with nutrient fluid. A mask is over your nose and mouth so we can talk. Your injuries have been tended. How do you feel?"

"Strange." Aeron said slowly, not that he could seem to focus to speak faster. "My voice is...wrong..."

"Yeah." The female voice sighed. "You took damage to your throat and then screamed loud enough to damage your healing vocal cords. We think we can fix it." From her tone, she wasn't sure. "it is not life threatening."

"How long?" Aeron asked after a moment.

"It's been eighteen hours since you left the Corpus ship." The voice paused. "Since you..." She broke off.

"I accomplished my mission." Aeron said simply. "Thank you for your care, healer. I was... out of it."

"You were." The voice -it had to be a doc- agreed. "Now?" She pressed.

"I don't understand." Aeron said slowly." What do you mean?"

"Aeron, you just went through hell." The voice said sadly. "We are here to help. Talk to me, Aeron. What are you feeling?"

"I don't understand." Aeron repeated, confused. "I feel fine."

"Aeron, we have you on several mild sedatives to help you stay calm." The doc said calmly. "You resisted our attempts to help you, violently. We had to sedate you heavily to get you out of your warframe."

"Did I hurt anyone?" Aeron asked, mildly concerned.

"No." The doc reassured him. "We were careful. But we are very worried about you, Aeron." Something rubbed his forehead, a gentle touch. "I am sorry for your losses, Aeron. I know they were your kin." Aeron felt pain, but... it was minor. The ache that should have come from the remembrance of his dead kin was...not there. Or it was, but...muted.

"They died fighting." Aeron said flatly. "And I avenged them."

"That particular Corpus ship will never reach a base." The doc agreed. "The Tenno who responded to your ship's distress call were upset by what happened."

"Couldn't happen to nicer people." Aeron said savagely. He felt a trickle of anger come and ruthlessly squashed it.

"Let it out, Aeron." The female doc said gently. "You can't hurt me, or anyone else. Let your anger out. We can help you. Pull it out and we can deal with it."

"I don't need your help, doc." Aeron said, relaxing slowly. "I need to get back to work."

"Yes, you do need help." The doc disagreed. "Aeron, you have massive trauma to your psyche. I cannot let you out until we deal with it. It is not safe for you or others."

"I don't need your help, doc." Aeron repeated firmly, forcing himself to relax.

"Aeron, listen to yourself." The doc pleaded. "Please... You are hurting, I know you are hurting. I can help." She begged.

"I don't need your help." Aeron declared and sank into a meditation. Instead of cool images though, his meditation was filled with white. It was...wrong. But it felt good. He became aware of conversation and snapped out of his meditation to listen.

"They are wrong." The female doctor said quietly but with force. Was she crying?

"Amelia..." A deep male voice said just as quietly. "Did he go berserk?"

"I..." The female doctor sounded defeated. "I don't know." She admitted. "The brain waves readings flat lined, Sensei. They had to be blocked somehow. No one alive is that flat line."

"I know of ways to block them from recorders, doctor." The deep voice of the one called 'Sensei' sounded mild, but underneath lay worry. His voice turned kind." Get some rest, Amelia. You did well."

"Not well enough." The doctor said, dejected. "His physical injuries have healed. But... Sensei..." She begged.

"It is out of our hands, Amelia." Sensei replied with equal sadness. "It's in his. I will talk to him. Two should be back in an hour or so, she will likely be exhausted. Do not exhaust her further until she has had a chance to rest." He warned.

"I won't." Amelia promised. "I don't think I thanked you properly..."

"We needed you, Amelia." Sensei's voice was kind."'Get some rest. You did well." Then the voice hardened. "I know you can hear me, Aeron."

"So?" Aeron asked, still caught in the haze of drugs and white.

"Do you seek death?" The voice of the male was hard now. Adamant. No give at all, but there... an odd undercurrent. Understanding? "Who do you want to kill?"

Aeron thought for a moment before replying. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to kill anyone except his enemies. He certainly didn't want to kill kin. That thought...hurt and he retreated a bit from it. No. He didn't want to die. He wanted the white again. The rush. The feeling of power, of invincibility.

"No." Aeron said quietly. "I do not want to die. I want to fight, but... Enemies. Not kin."

"Glad to hear it." The voice said with a sigh. "You are a mess, Aeron. If we were not in such dire straits, we would lock you up until we could get through the blocks you have in place to fool the machinery." Aeron must have made a noise of confusion because the voice laughed mirthlessly. "Don't lie to me, boy. I have seen vengeance crazed before. Amelia hasn't. But..."

"But?" Aeron pressed when the voice didn't continue.

"If you are not a threat to kin, then you are a powerful weapon, Aeron." Sensei said frankly. "If you are..." He trailed off and Aeron felt a chill. If this 'Sensei' decided Aeron was a threat, Aeron would never leave this room alive. "Tell me..." Sensei said after a moment. "Is it red or white?"

"How do you...?" Aeron clamped his mouth shut.

"You think you are the only one who has ever felt that rush, Aeron?" Old pain sounded in Sensei's voice, but then vanished. "It's important, Aeron. Red or white?"

"White." Aeron said in an undertone. "Do you know what it is?"

"I have heard various theories." Sensei said with a sigh. "But I think... It's kind of a mental bandage. One that blocks a lot things from affecting the brain. As a side effect, if keeps machinery from reading neural activity. You probably never even heard your AI begging you to get into the medical center before you bled out. White is a bandage thing anyway." His tone hardened. "If you ever see red, Aeron, if you have a gun, take it and blow your brains out. Fast."

"That bad?" Aeron said, fear trickling through whatever was holding him. It vanished quickly.

"It took nine Tenno to stop the last one I know of who completely lost it, Aeron." Sensei said heavily. "Who gave in to her bloodlust. Four of them died doing it. I was there."

"My god..." Aeron said slowly, dazed. "Why tell me?"

"Because you are not completely gone." Sensei said with a snort. "There is still hope for you. You do not have to face this alone, Aeron. I understand what you are facing. I understand it very well. Locking you up is not the answer. But letting you out, on your own, such as you are, is also not an good answer. You are teetering on the edge. And you have cause."

"I don't want your pity." Aeron said with a trace of heat. He was not expecting Sensei to laugh.

"Good because you do not have it." The other Tenno said with another booming laugh. "You are dangerous, boy." His voice turned serious. "Pity? Oh, we don't pity you. We will be watching. If you do go off, we will stop you. No matter the cost." There was no give in the other Tenno's voice now.

"I don't want to hurt kin." Aeron said slowly. A spasm ran up his spine, but the white seemed to absorb it. "What is this? This white? A bandage? In my mind?"

"Ah..." Sensei seemed to relax a bit. "A bandage is the best analogy those of us who have seen it have come up with. We think it is a reaction to the neural interface to the warframes. You know Tenno evolved from humans." Aeron nodded a little, his motions slowed by the fluid he was lying in. "There were always humans who... embraced the less than stable sides of their emotions."

"Yes." Aeron said slowly. "Berserkers from the northern part of the European continent?" He asked.

"What were called the 'Northmen', yes." Sensei replied. "But there were others. Almost every society that survived past infancy had stories of warriors who ignored pain, fought overwhelming odds with no sense of survival. It was not an isolated occurrence, nor particular to any one region or group. Many Tenno, myself included, believe that the particular genetic anomaly that caused it passed on to Tenno. That all of us have the chance to have it happen."

"That would be..." Aeron swallowed. "...bad."

"You have a talent for understatement." Sensei said seriously. He took a deep breath. "So... Will you allow us to try to help? Try to aid you? I guarantee that you will not enjoy all of it. But we will also not lock you up. We will not do anything without your permission. We will let you fight, but not alone."

"I..." Aeron thought about that for a moment. What choice did he have? Stay locked up or in this tank or fight? He didn't feel that he needed help, but... He wasn't clear. Nothing was. Everything was shades of white. "I don't know how I feel. I want to fight... The rush..."

"It felt good. Beyond good." Sensei said in an odd tone. One that Aeron suddenly realized was complete understanding. "Nothing could touch you. I saw your video records. You startled the hell out of Stalker." Sensei snorted. "Served the bastard right, underestimating your opponent is never a good idea." Aeron jerked as something he couldn't define hit him hard. "Aeron?" Sensei asked, worried.

"I felt something... odd."Aeron was trying to understand, and understanding eluded him. "It wasn't anger... I don't...I don't know what it was..."

"Still white?" Sensei asked carefully.

"Yeah." Aeron said, shaking. "That was...not fun..."

"I bet. Nothing showed up on the machinery." Sensei said after a moment. "Whatever it is, it is deep. Very deep in your mind, Aeron. We can help you. If you let us."

"This happened to you?" Aeron asked softly. "Not just the one who lost control? But to you?"

"I know the white, Aeron." Sensei said quietly. "I faced it when I had to kill kin who went rogue. I saw the white and I retreated from it. It took years, Aeron. But I did stop craving it. We can help you."

"You are Karl." Aeron said slowly. "I heard...some..."

"Truth and fiction both, I bet." Karl agreed. "That is the way of things." He became businesslike. "Now, I will not ask you to swear to my clan, but can you swear not to harm any in this dojo? We have humans and others as support staff."

"Others?" Aeron asked. Just having humans in a Tenno dojo was odd enough. "What others?"

"We have a cyborg medic and a former Grineer who is learning Bushido." Karl said calmly as if that were perfectly normal. "Four humans, including the doctor who treated your injuries. None of them would have a chance against you if you turn violent."

"Good point." Aeron said, thinking. "A restraint implant?"

"I would rather not." Karl said heavily. "I don't like them to begin with, and several of our staff had... similar objects forced on them."

"I see." Aeron said slowly. "Then the rumors that he, um..." Aeron did not name the one who had been Karl's brother. He wasn't that stupid. "That he did have slaves..."

"Were true." Karl said heavily. "We will not treat you as a slave You are a brother. One who has been grievously injured. We will help you. If you let us."

"And if I say no?" Aeron asked softly.

"Then you will go to sleep here and wake up in a medical facility at one of the colonies." Karl said in a similar voice. "And since this 'white' is not something they can fix or even detect... They will rule you unstable, a threat to all."

"And I spend the rest of my life confined." Aeron expected to be bitter, but... it didn't come. He wasn't numb, but...he was. This was very strange. "I feel...detached."

"Part of that is the sedatives." Karl agreed. "We wanted you calm while your body healed. Well? What say you, Aeron?"

"I don't..." Aeron paused, baffled. "This is so strange. It's like every emotion is behind walls of fuzz, not just the bad ones. Is that what it felt like for you?" He asked, worried.

"Yeah." Karl agreed. "That is what it felt like. Aeron, we can help you. You do need help, not to be locked away." The sympathy in the other Tenno's voice was heartfelt.

"I don't feel...bad." Aeron said softly. "But, I don't feel at all. I can see the danger, Tenno Karl. This is addictive."

"Very." Karl agreed.

"I will harm none in your dojo." Aeron said formally. "If I do...go worse, or whatever. Can you stop me?"

"Yes." Karl's voice was flat.

"I swear by my sword and by my service that I will harm none in your dojo, Karl of the Tenno." Aeron said quietly but with force. "I submit to whatever restraint or surveillance you decree. Do... Do not let me harm kin. Please." A trickle of fear shot through Aeron and then it was gone.

"I swear to you, Aeron of the Tenno..." Karl replied with equal formality. "...we will aid you to the best of our ability. And... If it comes to it. You will not harm kin. I swear it. By blood and by steel, I swear it."

"I accept your oath, Karl of the Tenno."Aeron said simply. "Now what?"

"now we get you out of there." Karl said with a smile in his voice. "You will sleep through that. And be thankful. They had put some tubes in very odd places. You will be assigned quarters and duties. We do not have a lot of staff and no one, not even me, is allowed to shirk."

"I understand." Aeron said with a slow nod that was all the fluid allowed. "Might want a shower too." He paused as he did not feel a smile come. "I can't even laugh?"

"All emotion is dampened, Aeron." Now Karl's voice had sympathy. "I think... I think when I faced the white was when I lost the ability to love... Only recently, have I felt that emotion again."

"I see." Aeron said, feeling faint.

"We will help you, Aeron." Karl promised. "But for now, sleep. You have class when you wake."

"Class?" Aeron asked, hint of incredulity sounding before it was subsumed.

"You will like it." Karl promised him as Aeron slid into slumber, the white crackling around him.