A/N: Another side of things. This takes place after 3/3/2014.

She kept the bracelet. She pulled it out of her pocket several times in between taking hits off her voddy bottle. It's true that Maddie had very nearly thrown it into the canal but she always stopped herself. Still every time she pulled it out the ache in her throat got larger.

Maddie had never been flashy or tarty. Even if she had the money for it (which she didn't), she had never seen the appeal of it. She remembered those chavvy girls in school, and had even made out with a few, but never wanted to be a part of any of it. It was hoodies and jeans for Maddie all the way. Still she was a girl underneath it all and she didn't mind lifting some earrings or a wrist band every once in awhile. It was dark and simple and fit Maddie perfectly.

It was exactly the kind of gift that Sophie fucking Webster would give. Even when she was breaking your heart. Of course she hadn't let her see that. Instead she had made a bitchy remark and ran. Again.

Long ago Maddie had learned that it was always better to put up a strong front. Tears never got you anything but a slap. It was better just to toss it off and walk away with your head up. In the community center she had at least held off until she got out of the room.

Swallowing it down, she had skipped the evening meal service and gone straight to George. From George she knew that she could hustle a bottle. Then she had gone straight out to the canal where no one would find her. Staring out at the dark waters, all she could hear was Sophie's soft voice. Even when she was delivering the fatal blow, Sophie had been asking after her with those soft sympathetic eyes. Nobody did that.

Instead of the bracelet, she chucked the voddy bottle straight in with an angry howl. She dropped her head into her hands. So fucking typical that Maddie Heath had blown it with the only girl that had made her feel cared for.

She pulled out the letter, which Sophie had given her and read it again for the millionth time. It started out "Dear Maddie" followed by hearts and x's. Maddie ran her hands over the hearts slowly. She made sure to trace her fingertips over them lightly, as if the slightest pressure would smear them. It was unbearably girly. Just like Sophie she thought dismally.

Maddie had known some dykes before, but Sophie was the first femme one that she had met. Even now she remembered the stylish coat with the collar, leggings, and perfect hair, when they met on the Red Rec. She wasn't a slapper at all. Just unbearably pretty in that real way. And fit. Really fit. She had no idea what a lass like Sophie Webster ever saw in her. But Maddie knew that whatever it was, it was real and terrifying.

If given the opportunity what might start with a kiss could lead to all the rest. Maddie didn't know if she'd be able to control herself around Soph. Maddie had only known drunken fumblings in the dark and that wasn't good enough for Sophie Webster. Not being around her meant that she didn't have to risk making a fool of herself. Because if they got started, Maddie couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't move heaven and earth to make Sophie Webster cry out her name. And if she couldn't do it, then she'd feel shattered.

So Maddie had run away from it. As fast as she could. She had no choice. If she could get some distance between herself, Sophie, and the feelings between them, than maybe they would disappear. When she saw Sophie talking to Eleanor in the shelter today, though, all those feelings came flooding back. Even before she turned around, Maddie knew that it was her. She hadn't changed, except her eyes had a sadness that didn't match the weak smile that she had on her face.

It wasn't the kind of welcome that Maddie had hoped for, but she knew that it was the one that she deserved. Maddie put her head in her hands, and let her front down for just a moment. She silently wept for what she had never let herself have.

Looking up soon enough she heard the stumbling hollerings of some hooligans riled up from football. Pulling herself together she wiped her face with her sleeve and ran underneath a viaduct. She curled herself up in a corner using her jacket for a pillow. As she closed her eyes all she could feel was the soft touch of Sophie Webster's lips.