Pairings: Tezuka x Fuji

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis does not belong to me.

Genre: Romance/Slight angst/AU

Note: Story is taken place after both Tezuka and Fuji went their separate ways from the previous two pieces.

A.N. Hello darlings, I have been stuck on the plane for 6 hours and since I couldn't fall asleep I decided to finish this new chapter for your enjoyment. LoL I am surprise that I finished before the battery on my laptop run out so enjoy and thank you for the reviews.

Reviews are food for the soul or so I was told.

Warning: This story doesn't have a beta so please pardon any mistakes that I happen to overlook.


Losing Ground

Chapter 1: The meaning of perfection

"Tezuka, you do realize that Fuji will never forgive you for this. Fuji will never forgive you for lying to him. It doesn't matter that you did it for him. Fuji will never tolerate lies, not even from you."

Atobe's words from that night still cut through me like a razor-sharp blade because I knew he was only speaking the truth. Over the years, I had managed to keep in touch with all the regulars on the Seigaku team because secretly I had hoped that Shusuke would have kept in touch with at least one of them. But every year I was disappointed because Shusuke never show up to our annual New Year gathering at Taka's sushi restaurant.

After that night, Shusuke seem to vanish in thin air. It is just like Shusuke to make everything so unbelievably hard. Why is it that nothing is ever easy with him?

Loving him

Hating him

Losing him

Forgetting him

Everything had always been so complicated with Shusuke even without him trying. I hate the fact that I could still remember his every moves and every gestures like he had never left. Most of all, I can't stand the fact that I could recall all the incidents that he had smiled at me and how breath taking his last smile was.

A genuine smile with tears staining his flawless face.

It took my breath away and left me speechless.

Why was it so painful to let Shusuke go? I finally open my eyes and look out at the beautiful Tokyo sky. The answer was as clear as it was years ago.

Because I could never stop looking at him.

Because I could never stop loving him.

Couldn't

Wouldn't

Atobe was right. I was a fool. I never thought that the person who knew me better than anyone would be the pompous Atobe Keigo from Hyotei. However, over the years I had realized that there is no denying it, Atobe knew me better than anyone and maybe even myself. At my lowest point, Atobe was the only one who noticed how much I was hurting beneath the stone mask. He was the only one who knew how much Shusuke truly meant to me. Before we became friends, I remembered asking Atobe why he was always sticking his nose where it clearly doesn't belong and he laughed.

A clean crisp laugh that irritated me to no end and made me want to punch his face.


Flashback

"Tezuka, everyone deserves to be happy especially idiots like you." Commented Atobe in his usual know it all tone.

"Atobe, thank you for your most insightful input." Replied Tezuka in a monotonic manner.

"Wow, never thought that the great Tezuka buchou had a sense of humor." Stated Atobe with a sarcastic laugh.

"Atobe, why are you even here and shouldn't you be admiring yourself in front of some mirror?" Asked Tezuka.

"I just want to see the look of regret on your face and you made it my business the second you decided to use Ore-sama's name in your little white lie." Stated Atobe bluntly.

"Regret?" Questioned Tezuka as image of Fuji leaving flashed before his eyes.

"Tezuka, it is still not too late to stop Fuji." Suggested Atobe casually.

A glimpse of sadness appeared in Tezuka's eyes before he finally replied, "No, I have to finish what I started for his sake."

End Flashback


At that time, I didn't know where Atobe's true intention lies till Jiroh unexpectedly show up on my doorstep. I was taken back when I saw the famous narcoleptic standing in front of me fully awake with a sympathy smile.

"Tezuka buchou, can I please come in?" Asked Jiroh politely.

I nodded my head and led Jiroh to the living room. After we are seated I pour both of us a cup of hot tea as I waited patiently for Jiroh to state his business with me.

"Tezuka buchou, I am here to apologize for Keigo's rude behave lately. I know that Keigo had no business interfering with your personal life and I will make sure that he doesn't cross the line again." Commented Jiroh in a remorseful tone.

I was surprised by Jiroh's comment and strange enough something about his comment bothered me. I never thought that Jiroh would be capable of presenting himself in such calm and grown up manner.

"Jiroh, thank you for your concern but there is no need for you to be here." I replied in a harsh tone.

"I am sorry for disturbing your morning and I would really appreciate it if you could please keep this visit between us. I didn't want Keigo to know about this. I don't know if I should tell you this but Keigo had always blamed himself for your injured arm." Commented Jiroh sadly.

I look straight into Jiroh's eyes and said, "I never blame Atobe for what happened during that match."

Jiroh smiled before saying, "I know but guilt is a powerful emotion. Keigo told me that it was his fault that you would never be able to reach your full potential. I believe that is why Keigo want to make sure that you are happy more than anything in the world because otherwise the guilt would just continue to devour Keigo piece by piece." Commented Jiroh as he waved goodbye with a sincere smile.

I admit that after Shusuke left I had been on the edge a bit. It seems that every little thing became a trigger that is destined to set off something inside of me. I never realized how much affect Shusuke had over me till he is gone. I don't want to continue this way of life. I don't want live each day feeling like I was going to snap any second. After Jiroh left, I started thinking and the conclusion that I came to was that I had been a complete idiot all along.

I had absolutely no right to act so unreasonable toward Jiroh especially since I know where he is coming from. As for Atobe, I never knew how hard our match was on him. The truth is I had never blame Atobe for what happened to my arm because after all it wasn't his fault. My arm had been badly broken since my first year at Seigaku Middle School by the upper classmen. I couldn't believe that after all these years, Atobe still blame himself for my temporary leave during my last year at Seigaku Middle School.

Jiroh's visit taught me how little I really know about the people around me. I always thought that I was a good judge of character but it seemed that I was wrong. My attitude toward Atobe slowly begins to change after talking with Jiroh but Jiroh's visit will always be something between me and Jiroh. When Jiroh was talking about Atobe I noticed a familiar light in his eyes that reminded me Shusuke and that gave me a peace of mind.

I admit I am still hopelessly in love with Shusuke. All I ever wanted was for Shusuke to be happy and be the best that he could have been. It bothered me so much seeing Shusuke wasting his talent away. Everything came easy to Shusuke; school, tennis and knowing exactly what it is that others needed. I just couldn't bear the thought that I was the one holding him back.

That I was the weak link in our fragile relationship.

"Night Shusuke." I whispered quietly as I close Shusuke's first photo booklet with Mori.

The book was cleverly title "Angel." On the last page was my favorite picture of Shusuke.

Shusuke was dressed in a simple white attire and lying on top a bed of snow. I noticed that from a certain angle I could almost see the heaven smiling down at one of them. The first time I saw the picture, I immediately felt overwhelm. I don't know why Shusuke gave up photography but I couldn't deny the fact that every picture Shusuke was in was perfect.

In the pictures, Shusuke's eyes had a new intensity that I never noticed before … almost like he was trying to burn a hole through my heart.

Almost like he knew that I will be watching him.

Even without trying, Shusuke had always been perfect and flawless.

Before I found Mori's work, I had been living in a complete darkness without a single speck of light. I had been foolishly wandering through the darkness without a purpose.

Desperate

This feeling of desperation had somehow kept me alive for all these years.

It is funny how human can always find a reason to live even one as pitiful as mine.

Living for the sole purpose of running into flame

Living for the sole purpose of burning my wings

Living for the sole purpose of disappearing

Simply because you had always been my flame

One that I could never turn my back on

One that I desperately want to feel again


TBC

A.N. In case you haven't figure it out future chapters will contain Atobe x Jiroh. Other than Fuji, I think Jiroh would also make a good pairing with Atobe. sigh I adore Jiroh, he is like a happy and hyper teddy bear.