Okay, so it's not a continuation of the story per se, but I thought it'd be fun to write the actual rules out.

Anyone who would like to contribute to the list, you're welcome to send me a suggestion.


Ellie's Golden Rules of Tolerating Morgan

1. Morgan shall not come into contact of any kind, express or implied, with Ellie.

2. Ellie is neither required nor expected to converse with Morgan unless absolutely necessary.

3. In the event that Ellie chooses to converse with Morgan, the following subjects are off-limits: sandwiches, video games, the BuyMore, Morgan's undying love for Ellie, Comic-Con, beard trimmers, grape soda, and the vast government coverup responsible for the decrease in Cadbury Egg size.

4. No nicknames. Ever.

5. No staring.

6. Morgan shall not buy exact but smaller replicas of Ellie's outfits and then switch them with the originals in the hope that Ellie will not notice.

7. No innuendos.

8. Morgan shall not purposely bring himself into contact with allergic substances and then check himself into the E.R. during nights when Ellie is on duty.

9. In the event that Morgan does accidentally come into contact with an allergic substance and makes a legitimate trip to the E.R., Ellie may refuse treatment if the affected area is anywhere above the knee or below the navel.

10. Eating mystery crisper items does not qualify as "accidental contact."

11. No mix tapes.

12. The Morgan Door is the window in CHUCK'S room. No other window in Casa Bartowski may be interpreted as a Morgan Door.

13. No smelling of Ellie's hair.

14. Standing outside Ellie's window with a boom box blasting Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" is not romantic if you are Morgan.

15. Morgan shall not name any more of his goldfish "Ellie." It's sweet at first, then depressing when they die. As a sub rule, please remember to feed your goldfish.

16. Morgan relinquishes all rights to press charges when Ellie smacks him upside his head.

17. Morgan is prohibited from collecting strands of Ellie's hair and making dolls out of them.

18. Morgan's yearly Christmas hug is not to be interpreted as "second base."

19. No poetry. For the love of god, no poetry.

20. Morgan may not leave copies of "Teen Beat" magazine in Devon's nightstand in the hope that Ellie will find them and suspect that Devon is a homosexual.

21. While it is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, when Ellie allows Morgan at the dinner table she is not trying to seduce him.

22. No writing to Dear Abby about your unrequited love under the pen name "Sleepless in Santa Monica."

23. Morgan shall not delude himself into believing that Ellie secretly wants him bad.

24. See Rule #1. Keep reading.

Finding this list of rules and then using whiteout to edit the list does not change the actual rules themselves. I have many copies, and an excellent memory.