From the moment Serinuma presented the project to them, Shinomiya had been feeling very uncertain about it all. Sure, he wasn't forced to cross dress again, he wasn't even in one of the leading roles, but he was still part of the homosexual supporting cast, and that was what bothered him.
He wasn't homophobic, how could he be when it was common knowledge that Serinuma was a fujoshi and was shipping, not only Igarashi and Nanashima, but probably also him and Mutsumi?
This was actually what bothered him about the entire project. Sure he could play his role and say the lines to perfection, deliver them exactly how Serinuma wanted them. The problem was the strange, nervous, almost sickening knot he felt in his belly every time he had to say those lines. It didn't make it any better that it was Mutsumi standing at the receiving end.
Unlike Nanashima and Igarashi, Shinomiya and Mutsumi had been given their specific roles by Serinuma and Nishina. Mutsumi was the 'pitcher' and Shinomiya was the 'catcher' as the girls had put it. To begin with, Shinomiya hadn't been entirely sure of what that meant, but once they started practicing the play it was all way too clear. Not only could he tell the meaning of the terms from the lines he was reading aloud, but he also remembered that Serinuma and Nishina had had a fight once, where these terms had been the key words.
Another factor that worsened Shinomiya's situation was the fact that he could relate to his character, almost perfectly. All the lines that weren't little hints of flirting were things he could hear himself say on any normal day.
"Is something the matter?" Mutsumi asked while he and Shinomiya were walking home together one afternoon. Serinuma had gone to Nanashima's place with Igarashi as they could practice his lines together, he hadn't been doing well at all regarding the drama CD.
By Mutsumi's question, Shinomiya was suddenly snapped out of his train of thoughts, which he had been kept in ever since they left the school's campus and until now.
"Everything's fine," Shinomiya answered in a tone he hoped was assuring.
"Okay," Mutsumi said, but Shinomiya didn't think he sounded entirely convinced. He needed to find something else to talk about before the other could get the chance to ask more questions about what he was thinking.
"Do you think Nanashima-senpai will improve?" Shinomiya asked, in lack of anything better.
"That depends on the source of his insecurity," Mutsumi said, sounding like a wise, old man.
"The source of his insecurity?" Shinomiya wasn't dumb. The fact that Nanashima was feeling some sort of discomfort was obvious. He just wasn't sure what could be the possible root of the problem.
"If it's just linked to the role, he'll get over it with some practice. However, if it is linked to some person, like… Serinuma-san, it'll be harder to get over it so easily," Mutsumi paused a bit before continuing, now looking directly at Shinomiya. "You display something similar through your own body language. I won't be surprised if someone else have noticed."
"How do I do that?" Shinomiya asked in disbelief. He hadn't been aware of this at all, he didn't think anyone could tell from body language, then again, he had forgotten how much one could tell from body language alone.
"It's in the way you blush slightly after finishing each line, and in the way you hold the manuscript, you seem a little nervous," Mutsumi explained.
Shinomiya thought on that. He hadn't noticed any of this, but when he thought about it, he found that Mutsumi was right, at least regarding the way he held the manuscript.
"That's why I asked if something was bothering you," Mutsumi explained further, while smiling.
"Well, nothing's bothering me," Shinomiya answered in a slightly harsh tone. As he spoke, he stopped right by a street that lead away from the way he had been walking with Mutsumi. "I'm down this way," he said, still speaking to the other male in a cold tone.
"Okay," Mutsumi answered in a questioning and slightly hurt tone.
As Shinomiya turned around and walked away he had a slightly bad taste in his mouth. He knew he had hurt Mutsumi by his harsh tone, but he didn't know how to apologize to him properly. So even if it would have been better to turn around and apologize then and there, Shinomiya simply continued walking away, not looking over his shoulder at the other, not even once.
As Shinomiya came home, he still had that strange taste in his mouth and a slight feeling of guilt was roaming around in his stomach. The entire conversation with Mutsumi was on replay in his mind. It had been like that ever since he parted from the elder student. Even as he entered the house, he couldn't seem to think of anything other than Mutsumi. Everything he did was done, without him really thinking about it. He read in the textbooks without really comprehending the words, like he normally would, the math was done on auto pilot and he forgot to check his answers. He only spoke little at dinner and didn't eat much. This caused his mother to grow worried and she dragged him to the bathroom to take his temperature, worried that he might have a fever.
It wasn't until he returned to his room and got started on practicing the manuscript that he started waking up again and was able to actually concentrate on what he was doing. But while he was practicing the lines, he suddenly came to wonder about something.
"How would it be if I told this to Mutsumi-senpai?" he asked aloud, and then he immediately raised both his hands to cover his mouth, unable to believe what he had just said, that he had said those things aloud no less. He felt his face heat up a tiny bit.
To make matters worse, his mother opened the door and entered just then, upon seeing the red in his cheeks and the way he was covering his mouth, which looked much like he was about to throw up and trying to hold it in, she sent him straight to bed while expressing her deep concerns for him and wondering aloud if she should have him stay home tomorrow. Shinomiya protested, saying that he was fine, but his mother didn't listen, being too busy with her own concerns.
They were outside, someplace a little ways away from everyone else. The school building was towering above them, but in the green place, it didn't seem to matter. They were having lunch, all six of them together. Serinuma was smiling and laughing in that cute way all of the others had fallen in love with. She was talking to Nishina about Mirage Saga.
"I still want for Shion to come back to life in the next season," Serinuma said with sparkling eyes.
"If you're dead, you can't just come back to life like that," Nanashima said, sticking to facts.
"That depends on how he died, Nana, if it was just referred to or if it was actually seen in the anime," Igarashi argued patiently.
"That reminds me," Mutsumi began. "You never told us how he died, Serinuma-san."
Serinuma nodded her head, her smile was slowly turning into a sorrowful expression as she started thinking about it. Why did Mutsumi suggest this if he knew thinking about Shion was obviously going to hurt Serinuma? But Shinomiya wasn't in any position to say anything. Normally he was one of those who said something without thinking, Mutsumi was the opposite, nice and caring, always keeping Serinuma's well-being as his first priority.
"Well… He fought bravely," as she spoke about it, she slowly started lighting up again. "He fought a battle where the odds were against him, and it went wrong, he died, it was shown in the anime," Serinuma said.
"That's sad," Nanashima said.
Shinomiya nodded his head in agreement.
Suddenly, Serinuma started moving her head uncomfortably, as if there was something making her feel bad about something. Shinomiya studied the space around her, but didn't think he saw anything, but he wasn't the only one who noticed that something was off.
"What's the matter, Senpai?" Nishina asked.
"There's something here, something that buzzes, I wasn't able to see what it was, it's already disappeared," Serinuma said, sounding slightly uneasy. "I think it was a bee or a wasp, but I'm not entirely sure…" she still looked uncomfortably about, but she wasn't the first to catch sight of it again.
"It's over here!" Nanashima exclaimed, panicking. Now Shinomiya saw it too, seeing as he was sitting right next to Nanashima. It was a wasp, the biggest he had ever seen. It had six legs, two wings, and black and yellow stripes on its body. It was flying about Nanashima, probably attracted to the meat in his lunch. Those things did tend to go for meat later in the season.
"Sit still!" Shinomiya exclaimed, knowing that this was the best way to avoid it. However, the technique didn't help him.
As if the bug was attracted to his yell, it started flying directly towards his face. Shinomiya was only able to watch as the thing grew bigger and bigger, he thought he saw a glimmer of something red in the tiny black face, as if its eyes had turned red with evil. He raised his hand to protect himself and suddenly felt a sharp pain on the side of the hand, right by the pinky finger.
"Ah!" Shinomiya exclaimed as his brain managed to fully register the pain coming from his hand, and he flinched away.
Suddenly, he felt someone's hand wrap around his and it was moved quickly as someone pressed their lips on where the wasp had stung him. He looked up to see his hand slightly inside Mutsumi's mouth, the elder student sucking like his life was depending on it.
"We should go inside," Igarashi said.
"Good idea, Igarashi," Nishina said, and Shinomiya watched as she and Serinuma stood up, so did Nanashima and Igarashi. Mutsumi stood as well, pulling Shinomiya on his feet, seeing as he was still sucking on the other's hand. However, he let go as they headed inside.
"I will take Shinomiya-kun to the infirmary," Mutsumi said.
"Shouldn't I do it?" Serinuma asked, "I'm on the nursing committee," she justified.
"I can do it myself," Shinomiya said. "I'm on the nursing committee too."
Mutsumi shook his head, he was still gently holding onto Shinomiya's hand. "I will take him there and treat him, it's no trouble," he said, smiling gently.
They walked to the infirmary. Mutsumi opened the door and had Shinomiya sit on a chair, he took a look at the sting on Shinomiya's hand. "How does it feel?" he asked, giving off the impression that he knew exactly what he was dealing with.
"It hurts, and stings a little too," Shinomiya explained.
"Alright," Mutsumi said before he began the treatment. He used a suction disc to remove what remained of the poison from the sting, and then he put on some cream that would lessen the pain for the time being. Then he put a bandage on to keep the cream from being wiped off immediately and grabbed a plastic bag, putting ice cubes in it and placing it on the bandage.
"Senpai… why do you do all this?" Shinomiya asked while watching Mutsumi holding the ice pack still.
"Because I care about you," Mutsumi replied, straightforwardly. "I don't like the sight of you being in pain, it makes me want to do something about it."
"What are you talking about?" Shinomiya asked, utterly confused, yet, the feelings inside him told him that the words were creating a hope, a hope he didn't want to be turned out.
"You're the most important to me," Mutsumi said, smiling up at Shinomiya. "I can't stand to watch you get injured like this, it makes me feel sad," he said.
"Why?" Shinomiya asked, wanting it to mean the thing he was hoping it would mean, but fearing that it meant something slightly different.
Mutsumi stood, still keeping the icepack in place with one hand while he placed the other on Shinomiya's cheek, ever so gently, as if the larger student was afraid to break him. Normally, Shinomiya wouldn't like people treating him like this, but with Mutsumi, it absolutely didn't matter one bit. In fact, he found that he liked the warmth of the gentle touch.
"I like you," Mutsumi said, bringing his face closer to Shinomiya's. "I want us to go out."
Shinomiya was overjoyed, it had been exactly like he had hoped for. But there was a tiny problem. With his wish coming true, he wondered what the others would think, how they would react.
"I want… I want to go out with you too," Shinomiya said. "But… can we… could we please keep it a secret from everyone else? I really don't want anyone to know." He could feel himself blush as he stated this request, just the thought embarrassed him.
"Of course," Mutsumi smiled. "Now… don't you have something you need to apologize for?"
"I…" Shinomiya hesitated as something slowly came to mind, the events of the day before, and while that was entering his head, so did a sharp sound. It took him some time to realize what it was, but when he finally did, he was able to pull away from the nice scenario.
The sound was coming from his alarm clock. He woke up, and stared at it with saddened eyes. Why did it have to remind him that all the things that had just happened was only part of a dream and that his relationship with Mutsumi was as far from what it had been in that dream as it could get. It wasn't corresponding to reality at all.
Shinomiya sat up in bed while collecting his thoughts. What had aspired for this dream to come to be. Why had he dreamt something like that? He decided to pull on the knowledge he had about dreams. They were projections of the brain, taking in people and wishes and mixing that, as well as thoughts and memories into a scenario where realism played no part. The keyword was wishes and desires.
Did he desire for something like this to happen? He surely didn't desire being stung by a wasp, and certainly not one of that size. Who would want that anyway. The most desirable of that dream would probably be the love confession. That thought caused the young boy to shake his head violently. Did he want for Mutsumi to confess to him? Was that it? The beating of his heart told him that this probably was the case. Did he like Mutsumi? What about Serinuma? Shinomiya was very confused, and when his mother came into his room ten minutes later, he was still sitting in bed, deep in thoughts. Upon calling his name, she couldn't even contact him to begin with. When she finally got his attention, she demanded that he stayed in bed, in order to prevent him from getting even sicker than he already was.
"But I'm not sick, I'm fine!" Shinomiya exclaimed at the closed door. His mother didn't hear a word of what he said.
Shinomiya spent all day at home, thinking about the dream, coping with it, and the thoughts it had led to. After a time, he finally arrived at the conclusion that he probably did like the elder student and went to the next stage of his thinking process. How to deal with it? He had a small thing to keep in mind regarding that. Just like he had told Mutsumi in his dream, he didn't want for any of the others to figure out that they were going out, that meant that he would need to confess while there was no one else around.
The school day was about to end when he arrived at the conclusion of what he should do, problem was that he still didn't have a clear answer, but he was motivated to do something, and he knew it had to be now or never, otherwise he would never get it done.
Shinomiya got out of bed and went to find his school uniform, quickly pulling it on and hurrying out of his room and continuing to the front door where he hurriedly pulled on his shoes and rushed out the door. If his mother discovered him out of bed after she had dictated otherwise, he wouldn't hear the end of it.
Once he was out of the house, he ran as fast as he could in order to be sure that he made it on time, hoping that they were canceling the practice today because of his absence. This would mean that Mutsumi would arrive right at the spot where they had parted ways on the day before.
There was no one at the spot when Shinomiya arrived. He hadn't expected for anyone to be there in the first place. Mutsumi wouldn't be waiting for him or anything, yet the absence of someone worried him slightly. He had to check his phone in order to make sure that there was no way Mutsumi could have passed by this spot yet.
He waited around for a little while, counting each passing minute and looking around every corner, hoping to see Mutsumi coming sometime soon. For each passing minute, Shinomiya lost a tiny bit of hope. Maybe they really had gone to practice without him. That meant Mutsumi wouldn't pass by here whatsoever. There was absolutely no way he would, it would be way out of his way.
But after waiting around for nearly fifteen minutes, Shinomiya finally saw the tall senior turning the corner, the exact corner he would turn if he was coming from school. Shinomiya studied the elder student's face carefully as he approached. He could clearly see when Mutsumi noticed him. It was as if his face lit up and a soft glow came over it.
"Shinomiya," Mutsumi said, sounding both surprised and slightly happy to see the younger. "I thought you were sick today."
"It's not so bad," Shinomiya said, he couldn't exactly say that he hadn't been sick, it would seem wrong if he did. The fact that his mother had misunderstood completely was a different side of the story. "I just… I had something I wanted to say to you."
"To me?" Mutsumi asked, obviously wondering what that could be. Shinomiya only wished he would get a clue.
"About yesterday…" he muttered, finding it very hard to say. "You… you were just being concerned about me and I… I think I might have been a little too… too harsh…" he hesitated, why was it so hard to make the final words come over his lips?
"I was being nosy," Mutsumi said. "Don't worry."
"You weren't nosy," Shinomiya looked up, frustrated with the other. Why was he apologizing when he hadn't been at fault at all? "You were just being concerned and I was way too rude in my response. I'm sorry!" Before he knew it, he had said the word he had found so difficult to let over his lips, just the day before. He had managed to apologize, now at least he was feeling better.
"It didn't bother me. That's just the way you are," Mutsumi said, still with that nice attitude about him. How open-minded could this guy be?
"Well… that's good I guess," Shinomiya said, looking away from Mutsumi's face.
"But shouldn't you be home in bed, Shinomiya-kun?" Mutsumi asked, genuinely concerned.
"It's not so bad," Shinomiya said, still looking away.
"I will walk you home," Mutsumi said, placing his hand lightly on his junior's back and leading him towards his home, without listening to any protests the other made.
Normally, Shinomiya would have minded if anyone just decided to walk him home like this. He wasn't some girl who needed protection all the time, anything but that. But to have Mutsumi walk him home didn't seem so bad. It was partly because of the feelings he had realized he had for the elder male, but also partly because they walked about half of the way home together anyway. For the other to walk him all the way wasn't much different from how it normally was.
"If you're up for it, and are feeling okay by tomorrow, we have agreed to meet at Nishina-san's place to practice even more. Serinuma also has some shopping she needs to do. We all agreed to go with her."
"I'll come with you then," Shinomiya said.
"Only if you're not sick," Mutsumi said, in a slightly strict tone.
"I'm not sick," Shinomiya said.
Mutsumi stopped and turned towards Shinomiya, placing a hand on his forehead with a concerned expression on his face. "You don't seem to have a fever," he said as he moved his hand away. "Then you should come along. Though, keep your health in mind," he warned, while smiling.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Shinomiya asked in a slightly harsh tone. He realized right after he had finished speaking and looked worriedly up at Mutsumi's face.
"Don't worry," the other said. "It's just who you are." He turned around, facing forward again. "Shall we go?" he asked, and they continued on the way to Shinomiya's home. Mutsumi stayed and watched until Shinomiya had entered the house and waved goodbye as Shinomiya closed the door behind himself.
All of them mostly spent the weekend at Nishina's place. They went out shopping on the first day. Serinuma had a lot of stuff she needed to buy and Nishina had something too, apparently. Despite the boys not needing to buy anything, they weren't bored at all. At the shop, there were other things to look at. By the shelves for Mirage Saga, Igarashi and Nanashima were stopped by a bunch of girls who were staring at Nanashima, noting how much he looked like Shion. Igarashi only laughed and took part in the conversation, to Nanashima's obvious irritation.
Mutsumi declared that he didn't want to let Shinomiya out of his sight, seeing as he was worried about his health, so Shinomiya was dragged with the other to look at all sorts of historical manga. The historical genre did bother him a bit, but once Mutsumi got going, he found that he learned a lot about history that he hadn't been taught in class. It seemed there were a few benefits in hanging around an upperclassman.
After shopping, they went out to eat before they went back to Nishina's place to practice the manuscript once more. Nanashima and Igarashi went into a room by themselves to go over a few scenes that they had trouble with while Shinomiya and Mutsumi stayed with Serinuma and Nishina to practice whatever scenes they could, but since the leading roles were elsewhere, there were quite a few limits to how much they could do.
On Sunday, they went over the manuscript together. Shinomiya listened to everyone and noted how Nanashima especially had improved. He also noted how he acted himself. He was still blushing a lot, and after finishing one of those embarrassing lines, he was looking just about anywhere else but at the one he was speaking to, Mutsumi. But the elder student seemed unaffected.
When Monday came, Shinomiya was allowed back to school by his mother, he had been out all weekend and seemed to be fine, so she didn't say a thing. Shinomiya was happy about that. He went to school and had classes like usual, missing out on one day wasn't easy, but at least it had only been one day and not more. He had lunch with the others and they talked a lot about the weekend while he was sitting and thinking about his problems. This was primarily the issue with him confessing to Mutsumi. He had wanted to do it before the weekend, but it had seemed too soon and they had ended up talking about his own health. He couldn't tell the other about the dream he had had.
Because he had had to postpone the confession, he found that most of his courage to tell Mutsumi how he felt had also left him. How could he confess when he didn't have the courage to do so? If he waited, would he risk that the courage faded even further away. If his courage ceased to exist, would this just become a crush that never turned into anything, even if it had the potential?
"Oi, Shinomiya!" Nanashima called. "Are you even listening?"
"Wha-what?" Shinomiya exclaimed, snapping out of his thoughts.
"We're talking about starting recording from tomorrow," Nanashima filled him in. "Are you ready?"
"Ye-yeah," Shinomiya said, only stuttering slightly. He was ready. He had already managed to memorize most of his lines. He could read the rest without any trouble though and acting it out was easy.
"That's great!" Serinuma was beaming with excitement. She turned to Nishina. "I can't wait to hear the finished product!"
"I can't wait either," Nishina said, smiling softly. "As it is now, it seems to be turning out great."
"I really can't wait," Serinuma said.
"Nana, want to go to my place and practice this afternoon?" Igarashi said. "There are a few things I think it'd be best to go over before we start the recording."
"Didn't you just say you were ready?" Nanashima asked.
"I'm ready, it's just for good measure," Igarashi replied.
The little, knowing smile Serinuma flashed while this scene played out, didn't go completely beyond Shinomiya's attention. He wondered what was up with that, but his own problems were taking up a lot more of his thoughts. Thinking further about what was up between Nanashima, Igarashi and Serinuma wasn't something he could do right now.
"Shinomiya-kun, do you mind staying behind until I'm done with club activities for the history club?" Mutsumi asked. "I also have a few scenes I want to go over."
"Uh… sure," Shinomiya said. "Here or…?"
"Let's meet at the history club room," Mutsumi said. "Once everyone's gone, we have it all to ourselves."
"That sounds fine," Shinomiya replied, not looking at Mutsumi. Over the weekend, that had gradually become more and more difficult. It was as if looking at Mutsumi was equivalent to a confrontation with his own feelings.
"Can't Shinomiya-kun just come with us to the history club?" Serinuma asked Mutsumi.
"I still have a bit of studying I'd like to get out of the way," Shinomiya dismissed immediately. That was true, besides he wasn't too interested in history, not as much as it would require to want to participate in club activities about history.
"That might be for the better," Mutsumi agreed before informing Shinomiya of when the club hours would end, as if he didn't already know that. The conversation continued on a completely different subject which everyone were much more comfortable with.
After school, Shinomiya went to study in the library by himself while club hours lasted. It worked out exactly like he'd hoped. He managed to finish just as club hours ended and packed everything away to go to the club room where he knew the history club was located. As he turned down the hallway, he almost ran directly into Serinuma, who smiled upon seeing him.
"Mutsumi-senpai's waiting," she informed. "I was the last one to leave."
"Okay," Shinomiya said.
"Is something the matter, Shinomiya-kun?" Serinuma asked.
Shinomiya looked up at her with slightly surprised eyes. "Not really," he said. "Why do you ask, Senpai?" he asked her.
"You've been spacing out a lot lately," Serinuma said. "And you were absent before the weekend. I was a little worried about you then too, so was Mutsumi-senpai, we talked about it."
"Well, I'm fine," Shinomiya said, doing his best to keep the tone light and keep a smile on his face.
Serinuma sent him a slightly concerned look, but then smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, Shinomiya-kun," she said before she told him goodbye and left, heading the opposite way of him. Shinomiya only continued down the hallway to the history club's club room and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Mutsumi answered, his voice slightly muffled from behind the door.
Shinomiya pushed the door open and entered the clubroom with slight hesitation in his steps. He felt a nervous knot in his stomach, similar to how he had felt when reading his lines aloud on the first day of the project.
"Shinomiya, have a seat," Mutsumi said, gesturing to all the chairs around the table in the club room.
Shinomiya slowly made his way further inside and seated himself right across from Mutsumi. He pulled the manuscript out of his school bag and laid it out on the table in front of him, using this as an excuse to look down as his bangs would hide the worst of his blushing.
"I wanted to go through the additional scene one, as well as act two scene four and additional scene three." Mutsumi said. Serinuma had added three more scenes to put a little more focus on the background relationship, the one made up of Mutsumi's and Shinomiya's characters.
"That's three scenes," Shinomiya said, flipping through the manuscript until he reached the first additional scene.
"I'm just uncertain about a few things," Mutsumi said.
Shinomiya understood why. They had practiced all three scenes a number of times, but there had always been at least one error while they had practiced, most of them had been made by him because he had been too caught up in his own thoughts and forgotten to say the lines.
"Mutsumi-senpai, you have the first line," Shinomiya said.
Mutsumi nodded his head and read the first line in the tone he used when playing his role. Shinomiya continued by reading the next line aloud, acting as his role. They acted through all three parts, Mutsumi stumbled at a word in a sudden line and Shinomiya forgot that he had to speak a couple of times, but otherwise, the practice went okay.
"I'm still not entirely satisfied, but I doubt it'll get much better," Mutsumi said while preparing to pack the manuscript away.
"What do we do if we mess up tomorrow?" Shinomiya asked.
"Hmm..." Mutsumi thought about it. "Do the scene all over from the beginning, I think. There's nothing else we can do really."
"That would be bad…" Shinomiya said. He wondered what would happen if either Nanashima or Igarashi screwed up that scene where they had to kiss, or at least make a sound that made it clear what they were doing. Neither of them would be happy if they had to kiss again.
"You're smiling," Mutsumi pointed out. "Why?" he asked.
"I just thought about now Nanashima-senpai and Igarashi-senpai would feel if they had to repeat the kissing scene," Shinomiya said. "They probably won't be too pleased." As he spoke, the smile was completely wiped off his face, but he still felt slightly amused.
"I think so too, though I don't see the big problem," Mutsumi said.
"We don't have a kissing scene," Shinomiya pointed out.
"I know," Mutsumi said. "But I personally don't think I'd mind kissing another guy that much," he said.
Shinomiya shook his head, that was so typical of Mutsumi to say. He wasn't sure he could do it, especially with his newly discovered feelings for Mutsumi. He could neither kiss him or someone else, both wouldn't feel right.
"Shinomiya-kun," Mutsumi said, snapping Shinomiya out of his thoughts with immediate effect. "You're zoning out again," he pointed out.
"A-Am I?" Shinomiya asked, a little startled.
Mutsumi nodded his head. "You tend to do that a lot while we're acting too, in fact, you've been doing it a lot lately. What's on your mind?" he asked.
"No-," Shinomiya was about to deny anything being on his mind, but it wasn't right, he would be lying again, and since Mutsumi had asked him three times within five days, there was probably no reason to deny anymore. The fact that he had figured out it was a lie was obvious. "Just stuff," Shinomiya therefore said.
"What kind of stuff?" Mutsumi asked, concerned.
"Just… stuff…" Shinomiya could feel the heat in his cheeks as he thought about what kind of stuff it was. He wanted to say it, he really did, but the thought made him nervous. He was scared of what would happen if he said it, would Mutsumi deny him? It was clear he was interested in Serinuma rather than anyone else, being the most honest of them all. Being denied was probably more likely than an acceptance. Maybe they could still be friends though, maybe nothing would really change in their friendship because Mutsumi was as open-minded as he was. For once, Shinomiya was grateful about that.
"Do you have something you want to say?" Mutsumi guessed, causing Shinomiya to jolt and then freeze on the spot, wondering how the other could guess so accurately.
"I… yeah," he admitted.
"What is it, I'm listening," Mutsumi said, giving off that comfortable vibe that told Shinomiya that he could basically tell him anything without fear, but how did he do this without being too blunt about it?
"Senpai I…" he trailed off, hesitating, still wondering how he should say it. But now he was talking, putting together the words would take too much time and he would lose the courage he had just gained. "I like you, Mutsumi-senpai!" Shinomiya almost exclaimed, shutting his eyes tight and facing the table rather than the boy sitting across from him.
"I like you too, Shinomiya-kun," Mutsumi said in a casual tone.
"No, I like you as in… as in… I'm in love with you!" Shinomiya exclaimed.
"That's what I'm talking about too," Mutsumi said, still being way too calm about it, but this caused Shinomiya to open his eyes and look up at the other in surprise. This was not the response he had expected, far from it.
"But… but what about Serinuma-senpai?" Shinomiya asked.
"I like her too, we're good friends," Mutsumi said. "I could ask you the same though," he was still speaking in a considerably calm tone that made Shinomiya wonder if he really was serious or not.
"I… Well… I just realized that I… that I like you like that. Serinuma-senpai is a nice person and I still want her to see me as a man someday but I don't think it's because I'm in love with her as much as I just want to impress her," Shinomiya explained.
"Like a younger brother want to impress his older sister?" Mutsumi suggested.
"Something like that…" Shinomiya said.
"You're still nervous, Shinomiya-kun. Don't you believe what I said earlier?" Mutsumi asked. "About liking you?" he continued.
Shinomiya had to wonder again how the other could guess so accurately, but there was no use in denying. "When you say it with such a calm attitude, it's hard to tell if you mean it or if you're just being nice," he said.
Mutsumi smiled and leaned over the table, grabbing Shinomiya's chin with one hand and tilting his head slightly upward. Their faces were millimeters away from each other, until they suddenly weren't, the gap had been closed by Mutsumi, whose lips were now pressed on Shinomiya's. Due to the shock, Shinomiya was unable to respond, and it was still hard when Mutsumi let go of his chin and pulled away, sitting back on the chair across from him.
"Do you believe me now?" he asked.
Shinomiya nodded his head. "So… are we…" he hesitated, couldn't really bring himself to say it.
"If you want to say we're going out as boyfriends, I suppose we are," Mutsumi answered, still keeping calm.
"Then can we… please not let anyone else know, I don't think I'm ready for that yet," Shinomiya said.
"We'll keep it at your pace then," Mutsumi said, reassuringly. "We could still pretend like we're in the race for Serinuma-san's heart. No one would notice anything if we just do stuff like this when we're by ourselves." He said.
"Okay, let's do that then," Shinomiya said, feeling just a little bit more comfortable with the situation.
"Should I walk you home again today?" Mutsumi asked.
"Do what you want," Shinomiya said, trying to act a little cold. He could walk home by himself, but the thought of walking all the way back home with Mutsumi was surprisingly appealing.
"Then I'll walk you home," Mutsumi said, smiling.
And so, the two high school boys walked home together. You couldn't see on them that anything had changed, you couldn't even hear it in the way they were talking to each other, but there was a vibe in the air between the two, something in the way they looked at each other, something in the way Shinomiya would be cautious of the words he was using, as to not hurt the other, and the way Mutsumi would be just a tiny bit more forgiving whenever it happened. It didn't seem like anything had changed on the surface, but below, nothing was the same as before.
I apologize! I'm so sorry! I accidentally forgot to upload this story here as well as AO3. I only uploaded it on AO3. I'm very sorry about that. It was a mistake on my part.
Enough apologies. I'm sorry that this has taken a while to come up. I came up with this two months ago and finished writing some time last month, so it has been underway for a while now. There might be a third story coming up for this, but I need to get a good idea of a plot first, before I can write it.
At any rate, thanks for reading, it's much appreciated.
Jackie
