Maura was unable to stop herself from spitting wine all over Jane. Apologizing and turning back to put her wine glass down on the coffee table, she tried helping Jane wipe the wine off her shirt, before giving up and taking the dishtowel Angela brought over, and using it.
When she started wiping at Jane's shirt, she realized she was biting her lips to keep from laughing. Looking at her in confusion, she followed Jane's direction when she shook her head and pointed silently beside her. Turning to look, she saw Tommy blushing a very deep red, and Frankie looking back and forth between his siblings, in confusion. Finally, Jane was unable to hold it in, and started laughing loudly.
Tommy started sputtering futilely, before being able to speak. "MA! What? How? Why would you? How do you know about that?"
Rolling her eyes, Angela finished loading the dishwasher and started wiping down the counter. "You kids think I'm clueless. I didn't raise three kids, not knowing what was going on. You just don't give me enough credit. Nina Spencer's parents called me to ask if I had any idea what would possess you to do something like that, but I had no idea. We figured it was probably a prank, or you just wanted to do something more original than leaving a handprint. Anyway, Stacy was very glad the mold she used meant that it was the bottom of the paver that ended up...imprinted. I believe the paver was still there, when they moved out, a few years ago.
"I decided not to embarrass you, at the time, since there really was no harm done. Now, I can finally ask what went through your head to make you decide to leave an imprint of your dick in cement. I can't imagine that was comfortable, and it couldn't have been easy to clean off. And, why does Jane seem to know about?"
Laughing louder, Jane covered her mouth with one hand, eyes tearing as Tommy's blush deepened and he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. After taking several gulping breaths to calm herself, Jane held up a hand until she was able to talk without laughing. "Tommy was, what? Fifteen? Sixteen? He came in my room, asking for help, and begging me not to tell anyone. Nina's parents came home early while she was...umm...using her mouth, for the first time. He panicked, and climbed out the window when the door started to open. When he tried to pull up his pants, he tripped and landed in the cement. He just pulled up his pants and ran. He made me promise not to tell anyone, and convinced me to skip school, the next day, so we could go smooth it out. When we got there, it was gone. We looked all over the yard, but we couldn't find the box of cement he swore he landed in. I guess Mrs. Spencer already found it."
Maura looked confused for a moment, before blinking and looking Tommy in sympathy, where he had his face buried in his hands. "Oh, you're first experience of oral sex was interrupted before completion, and that led to the rather unique cement casting. I'm sorry. That is unfortunate, and embarrassing. I hope your second experience was more enjoyable."
Standing up, and refusing to look at anyone, Tommy walked toward the door. "I'm leaving. Jane, I hate you. As soon as I figure out how, I'll get you back. Maura, I'm sorry to leave, but I'm sure you understand."
Watching him open the door and leave, Maura swatted Jane's arm. "You didn't have to take so much enjoyment in his embarrassment. I hope you apologize to him. That really was mean."
Jane rolled her eyes and held up her hands to ward off any more swats. "He's just embarrassed because he likes you. I've been teasing him about that, since it happened. Although, Ma knowing probably didn't help."
Frankie seemed to finally recover from his shock enough to speak. "Why did you ask you for help, and not me? Doesn't it make more sense to ask another guy for help with something like that?"
Opening her mouth, Jane was interrupted by Angela. "You'd been teasing him for months about not getting past first base. Do you remember how much he teased you when he caught you making out with that Chrissy girl? He was probably afraid you'd tease him even more, if you knew what happened. Jane may like to tease you boys, but she's always been willing to help you when you needed it, and she can keep a secret."
At Jane's smug look, Angela rolled her eyes. "Don't even, young lady. Your brothers are not the only ones I know things about. You are not nearly as good at hiding things as you seem to think. I know when you got caught under the bleachers with that Stevie Jones, and when Old Mr. Peters found you shirtless in the shed with Sam. He wasn't as blind as everyone thought. He called me to tell me to keep an eye on you, and to tell me that you were both good kids and it seemed pretty innocent, even if you weren't wearing a shirt."
When Jane tried to hide her blush behind her hair, Maura laughed. "What did you say about only teasing because you care? I think this qualifies as suitable payback for the slight embarrassment I suffered."
Angela raised an eyebrow at her, which had Maura's furrowing in confusion. "Just because I didn't raise you, doesn't mean I haven't overheard and seen things. Did you really think I couldn't hear you when that Ian was visiting. Even if the window hadn't been open, you were rather...enthusiastic."
Maura just nodded. "Yes, I thought you probably heard us, when you came by so early. I apologize if it embarrassed you or made you uncomfortable. When you didn't bring it up, I assumed you were only curious about who I was with, since you knew I hadn't had a date in some time, at that point. I try to remember to close the window, since then."
Angela's confusion at Maura's lack of embarrassment made Jane and Frankie start laughing, which earned a good-natured glare from their mother, and a slightly confused, but happy, smile from Maura. An incoming text made Jane laugh harder. Snatching it out of her hand, Maura read it out loud. "It's from Tommy. 'I don't hate you, but I WILL get you back.'"
A/N: Yep, I'm leaving it there. This is the shortest story I've ever written, and I refuse to let another story get out of control and turn into an entire series, as my ideas seem to do.
As is my habit, I'll give you a final count, but it hardly seems necessary. This story is two chapter, 2.3K words, and six pages long. Congrats, you just read a story shorter than most high school english papers
