Chapter 2 - I Don't Dream Anymore

Everything felt cold and hostile in this small cell they had thrown me in. My body was numb from the anaesthetic that the doctors had given to me before the procedure. I knew that I would feel the pain again, like I did everynight, and I considered creating a force field in my own head. They had forced me to do it to a red haired man named Ralph, I was only 16 at the time and thought that they wanted to save the world, so I made a man's head literally explode. I was never a big art enthusiast but I knew what a Pollack painting was and this man's head was the paintbrush. I remember that they had to force feed me for a month and I slept for 14 hours each day. The world seemed bleak and dull, my eyes only saw grey and my ears only heard the screams of my victim, but eventually they needed me again.

It was a humid day with a cloud filled sky when the british man spoke to me from outside my cell.

"Aren't you ready to rejoin the world that you wanted to save so bad?" His raspy accent filled my head and made me want to listen. "Yes…" I heard myself whimper this, like some kind of dog begging for a treat. He chuckled and the sound was hollow but still managed to make me want to scream. "What do you people want from me?" The voice that spoke was mine, high pitched and sounding like a young child about to cry. "Oh, I thought you were the genius and Kane was the jock. Tsk, tsk, tsk… wouldn't someone with a photographic memory remember the contract they signed." I felt his eyes on me and I wanted to meet them until I realized that he had mentioned Kane, "You said only James and I signed on with you… What have you done with Kane." He cupped his ear as another scream coming from deep within the dark complex rang out and smiled at me, " I thought you, of all people, would recognize that sound… I heard you always knew how to make him scream." He gave me another hollow chuckle and walked out.

When he left, two guards came to replace him and told me I was going on a trip. They opened the cell and I gathered up all the strength I had to lift myself up. They took me to a jeep and when I crawled in, everything became still and in an instant I felt a sharp pain in my head and the world faded away. When I opened my eyes I was in the desert and felt the hot air blowing gently on my face. We were stopped at a small hut in the middle of nowhere. There was even a tumbleweed bouncing around the little yard. Brown hair and brown eyes, Small frame, wide jaw, beer belly.

The blonde guard jumped out and said "Hey, Mr. Santos wants his package now." The little man grew panicked and started shouting in Spanish, the only words I recognized were Santos and Dios (God) and Diablo (Devil). He began to pray and made the motion of a cross with the rosary around his neck. I used to believe in God, now I'm not so sure what I believe. His kind and worried eyes turned to me and he pointed at me and yelled "Diablo". The guards came over and told me it was my turn to ask him, I knew what that meant and decided then at 19 that I wouldn't be the victim anymore, and jumped down from the jeep. The men turned to see a wall of blue slam into them, breaking blondies back and snapping the others neck, and I walked up to the man and tried to remember what little spanish I knew,

I asked him what the package was and he started yelling about God again so I spoke in a calmer voice and told him I wouldn't hurt him. I was gonna hurt Mr. Santos.

Present Day

James took a step towards me and I backed up but fell on a shoe lying on the floor. The floor was still wood it seemed. He put his hands out and I tried to look in his eyes, but the tears in mine were making it impossible to see, so I choked out two words. "You died!" Suddenly, I felt like someone was loading bricks onto my shoulders and crushing my lungs. "I saw them kill you…. I saw him make that man pull the trigger… I saw him tell you to break Kane's neck...I….I saw you kill Kane! You bastard, you killed Kane!" At this point I was screaming and our parents turned their light on, "Look what you've done!" James hissed and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the closet. He was using his strength and my arm felt like it was breaking so I started to whimper which made him clamp his hand down on my mouth. He whispered, "Mr. Santos wants his favorite pet back and getting what he want is what I do, even if I have to break something." I felt the pressure dissapear and felt a rush of wind in the closed space. I didn't see how he got it but that was an issue for another time.

Eventually I heard Linda say, "It's Just the wind let's go to bed, honey."

I moved to the window and shimmied the window pane open an inch before it wouldn't budge. I sighed and tensed my body up, using my force field to push the window up. If I was fast, I could get the flashdrive before them, but I could already see his men running into the forest and knew it was gone. My bruised body slammed into the ground and the impact made me wanna swear which I never do unless I'm really upset. I picked myself up from the ground and nearly face planted when I put weight on my leg. I fell to my knees and felt the itch of the grass and mud eating at my skin. The flashdrive was under the tree where I had buried that bird our cat had killed in the summer. I crawled through the mud and lay with my face against the ground for a moment before I pulled myself onto my knees to dig. My fingers clawed the mud and grass in frantic, jerky motions until I touched something cold and hard. Of course, everything feels cold when you're crawling around in the rain, I thought to myself, God please help me, I know I haven't been very faithful but I need you. I tore the metal box out of the ground and forced my numb fingers to grasp the lock and pull it up to reveal the pink flashdrive I had buried on the first I had returned here after escaping for the first time.

The car hummed as I sped to Washington, D.C. A billboard advertising mattresses read, "How Do YOU Sleep At Night?"

"I don't dream anymore." I whispered.