Stuff Happens

Author's Note:

Justin: aren't you so proud of us?! This is just, what… four days? And it's a super long chapter!

Tequila: yup… we're spoiling you!!

Justin: I'm afraid you shouldn't get your hopes up… we're on vacation, and when we go back to…school—

Tequila: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! NOT THAT, ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Justin: yes, I know Tequila… shush, it's okay… when we go back there, we will likely return to our old, bad ways…

Tequila: what can I say—it's in my blood!! For generations, the Mockingbirds have been lazy, and I, Tequila Mockingbird, am proud to say that I am a lazy, procrastinating slug. AND PROUD OF IT, I SAY!!

Justin: and I'm not as good and chivvying her along as I used to be… she's catching!

Tequila: YAY:D

Disclaimer: We looked on eBay to see if we could buy the rights to Twilight…but Stephenie Meyer isn't selling:( The commercial said that whatever it was, we could find it on eBay… THEY LIED TO US!!

To: E. Cullen

From: A. Brandon

Subject: arrival

Hey! Just letting you know we should be at the house at around ten tonight… looking forward to meeting you guys!

-Al

To: A. Brandon

From: E. Cullen

Subject: RE: arrival

Sounds great... we should be there at 9:30--see ya!

-Em

To: MaryBrandonSuperMom

From: ThatPorscheIsMine

Subject: arriving:D

hey mom—we shud b the house soon, just wanted 2 let u kno we got here safely. very funny experience at diner, i'll tell u all about it l8r. luv u and dad and cynthia lots, and i'll email u again when we get settled, etc…

-ur 1 and only alice:D

Chapter Two: Arrival.

I stared out the window, watching trees flash by. Rosalie was, as usual, driving way too fast. But since there was nothing I could do to control her, I'd long since learned just to sit back and relax. The fact was that I controlled the radio improved my mood considerably. I was zoning out, listening to one of my favorite bands blasted loud, when Alice tapped me on the shoulder- hard.

"Yeah?"

"I'm writing Emily Cullen another email, telling her when we're arriving… wanna read it first?" She held out her iPhone so I could read the email there.

"Umm… sure…" I read it. It seemed fine, polite, and all, "it's great, Alice."

Rose turned slightly, and asked Alice "So, who are these girls, anyway?"

Alice frowned slightly. "All I know for sure is a girl named Emily Cullen, and her friend Jasmine. I'm assuming one other girl, but I don't know her name yet."

"Okay." Rosalie turned her attention back to the road. We passed a sign informing us that a rest stop was only ten miles away. "Ooh… do you guys want to stop and grab something to eat? I was so busy packing I forgot to get breakfast."

"Sure!" Alice piped up from the backseat. I nodded agreement, and Rosalie took the turn out onto the exit. It would be a long day of driving even at the speeds Rose preferred—nearly sixteen hours—so we had started as early as we could bear to, and were planning to arrive at about ten tonight.We halted at a gas station and restaurant. Rosalie stayed to fill up the BMW and park her baby where she was sure it would be safe and cool in the shade, and Alice and I went in to order. It was the average rest stop diner, small and slightly dingy. We found a table for four, and slid into the seats. I leaned down to dump my bag and giggled. Alice's feet wouldn't have reached the ground, if it wasn't for the four inch stilettos she had on. She glared at me when she saw the direction of my eyes.

"Be silent or I will take you shoe shopping, and believe me—four inch heels will be the least of your problems."

I paled. My complete lack of any type of coordination meant that my options were flats or a cast. Shopping with Alice was traumatizing enough without bringing shoes into the bargain. Luckily, I was saved by the waiter.

"Hello, ladies, allow me to welcome you to the Happy Eats Home Cooked House!"

I blinked. Twice. He was short, with coal black hair, oily skin, and a rainbow beanie hat -complete with propeller- perched on top of this head. "Um. Hi. Could we see a menu, please?" He placed one in front of Alice, then me. I smiled nervously. "Our friend is parking the car—she'll be here in a moment."

He nodded, and grinned at us. "I'm Brother Eric, and I'll be your Personal Eating Consultant today."

I blinked again, and tossed a glance across the table to Alice. I saw she was trying to restrain a laugh, and answered for both of us. "Thanks?"

"No trouble at all, miss! Just call and I'll be right over, quick as a wink! Faster than you can say, 'Happy Eats Home Cooked House is the only dining establishment for me!' I'll be right by your side, ready and willing to assist you in your Comestible Consumption Choices for the day!"

I suppressed a look of horror when he grinned at me again and I realized he wore braces. With hot pink and orange rubber bands. What was he, twelve? He finally left, and Alice collapsed into helpless giggles.

"Did you… see…" she gasped for breath, "the braces?" I nodded, and started to laugh myself. She was infectious. "It looked…" she continued, "like he puked up the rainbow!"

I agreed, "And it landed on his head!"

And so, when Rosalie walked into the diner, she saw Alice and me laughing so hard we could barely speak. She was, in fact, just in time to catch me as I half slid out of my chair.

"Did Carlos Mencia just come through here and I missed it, or what?"

"Waiter…" was all I managed to get out through another fit of laughter.

"No… not waiter," Alice admonished me, trying to be stern and only managing ridiculous, "'Personal Eating Consultant'," Rosalie began to laugh as well. "Fully qualified to assist with our 'Comestible Consumption Choices!'"

Rose collapsed into one of the empty seats, now laughing as hard as we were. "You're not… serious?" she managed to choke out.

"Just wait and see," I warned. I could see our 'Personal Eating Consultant' making a beeline for our table, carrying another menu for Rosalie.

"Hello miss, and allow me to humbly welcome you to Happy Eats Home Cooked House, and I'm Eric, your—"

"Personal Eating Consultant," she finished for him, sending him the patented Rosalie Hale Glamour Glance, guaranteed to make any male between the ages of eight and eighty go weak at the knees. Eric, it seemed, was no exception. "I've heard so much about you." She reached out and took the menu from his suddenly limp grasp. "I think we can take it from here—you can come back in a minute to take my order, but I know we'll be wanting two—" she threw and inquiring glance to Alice, who nodded, "make that three Coca Colas. Thanks!" And she beamed him right back across the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him practically faint as Rose took off her sweater, revealing her tight Denali Boarding School T-shirt underneath.

As soon as he was safely out of earshot, we all collapsed back into mirth. We finally sobered up enough to look over the menu, which seemed to be fairly ordinary diner fare, with the exception that their specialties had large smiley faces hand drawn next to them, and that they didn't serve hamburgers. The only option I could find were 'Happiness Burgers, with a ketchup smiley face hand squeezed on the patty just for you, from the kitchen with love'. This place was starting to scare me.

None of us ended up 'rejoicing in the experience' of a Happiness Burger: Rosalie ordered a Caesar Salad and Alice and I decided to share the Friendly Breakfast Pancake Special—it came complete with strawberries, blueberries, and a smiley face in syrup. It was too strange to resist, and we'd hurried through breakfast in our eagerness to get on the road. Before we could order though, we had to suffer through an extremely thorough recitation of the Daily Specials, or 'Joy de Jour'. These included Ecstasy Eggs, (I pretended not to hear Rosalie mutter under her breath, "With real Ecstasy? Is that what you're on?") Wonder Waffles, and today's Super Sandwich Special- ham and cheese 'lovingly laid' on rye bread spread with mayonnaise. When we were finally finished ordering, Brother' Eric went away again, leaving us to chortle amongst ourselves in peace.

The food was fine, although I felt a bit guilty about eating pancakes with a face—it just seemed wrong. Before we left though, Alice insisted in taking a picture with Eric, so we would "never forget our beautiful Happy Eats Home Cooked House experience!" The fact that she managed to get that out with a straight face astounded me. Rosalie utterly refused to be included, but Alice dragged me into the shot at the last second. She then asked if she could get a hat. Unfortunately, not only were they available at the gift shop, but you could get your name embroidered in them for a small additional fee. She got one for each of us, ignoring our loud protests.

"But Alice! Where will you actually wear it?" was my final argument. It was hideous; although, knowing Alice, she would manage to pull it off- propeller and all.

"I won't wear it, silly. I just want the memory!"

Rosalie sighed. "Well, at least it goes with everything equally well..."

Alice grinned a reply, "That's the spirit!"

When we had dragged Alice away (luckily, before she caught sight of the tee-shirts) to the car and buckled her in, ignoring her loud protests. Rosalie gunned the engine and we burned rubber back onto the highway.

EPOV:

The music was still pumping, I was still driving, Jasper was still quiet, and Emmett was still being a moron. We had been driving for nearly eleven hours, and we would still have a ways to go. A road trip sounded great… but I was beginning to be bored. There were still a good three hours to go till we arrived at Washington University in Spokane.

Emmett's BlackBerry began vibrating on the dashboard, distracting him from his previous activity of sticking his head out of the window like a dog. I let out a slow sigh of relief. Not that I would show it, but I had been worried a truck would come passing by and carry Emmett's head right off. But the roads had remained clear, and I was able to drive at my preferred speed- way over the cautioned limit.

"It's another email from Al." He noted, studying it carefully while typing out a reply. "He says they'll be there soon. We'll probably arrive a little earlier though."

I replied to him with a nod, not taking my eyes off the road. "Sounds good to me" I murmured. In fact, it did. In a way I was glad we could scope out the place before these other guys got there. After all, we didn't know who they were, or how they acted, or if they were even tolerable. All we had to go off on was a few emails. I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind- I needed to pay attention to the road ahead of me. Anyway, if worst came to worst, we could just stay in opposite ends of the house. There really was nothing to worry about.

Jasper sighed and shifted around in the back, fidgeting nervously. I peered at him through the rear-view mirror suspiciously. On car rides, Jasper was either always quietly staring out the window or acting just as loud as Emmett. This action was new.

"Please tell me you didn't forget something." I remarked sarcastically, my green eyes meeting his in the mirror. I don't think I could have taken it if I had to go all the way back.

Jasper shook his head. "It's not that, it's…" He paused as a new song joined in the one playing from the radio.

Just because she feeds me well and she made me talk dirty in a pink hotel…

I groaned as I reached for my phone. Why did she have to be calling me now? Just why? I held the phone undecidedly in my hand, still unsure whether to answer or let it go to voicemail and call her back. Could I drive and deal with her at the same time? That is the question…

Doesn't mean she's got eyes for me- she might just want my bones you see

Hey flathead don't you get mean…

"Just answer it Edward." Emmett advised, eyes serious.

"Do I have to?" I asked, sounding exactly like a three-year old.

"Yes." He replied, eyes sparkling with a glint of amusement. "For one thing, you're interrupting my favorite song. For another, she'll only flip out if you leave it for later."

I sighed- he was right. Gingerly I stared at the phone, willing for the Caller ID to deny what I knew to be true.

She's the second best killer I ever have seen.

I let out another resigned sigh, flipping the phone up and bringing it to my ear. "Hey Tanya."

"Edward! Baby! Why didn't you call me? You know I wanted to say goodbye!" Her voice was borderline whiney.

I gave a gentle sigh. Tanya was sweet, and kind, and gentle. But she was just so… clingy. Almost desperate. She was always insecure, I needed to mind my words so much when I was around her, I couldn't actually say what I wanted to say. I needed to convert it into something that was much more…. delicate.

"Babe, we said good-bye last- yesterday" I reminded her carefully. If I said 'last night' she might think I was only in it for her body… I heaved a huge mental sigh.

"Yeah, I know, but I just miss you so much! And I don't know what's going on over there or what's happening!" She shot out the reply like a speeding bullet.

"Honey, you'll just have to trust me." I murmured my reply, my mind half on the task- the other half was on the road in front of me.

"I know, but, you didn't call at 2:00, and you always call at 2:00…." She trailed off. Meanwhile I looked at my wrist-watch. It was 2:06.

"You have got to be kidding!" I said in exasperation, the exact same time as she added on-

"I miss you already, you know? Do you miss me?"

"Of course I miss you!" I tacked it on, hoping it sounded smooth enough to be a reply to her question. I replayed it in my mind… it sounded passable. I ignored the nearby chuckles from Emmett and Jasper- weren't they supportive?

"Aww…Thanks Edward, I needed to hear that." It sounded like she was smiling.

"You welcome- listen, I gotta go, ok? I'm the designated driver and you know what they say about cell phone usage…"

"But we hardly talked at all!! And I miss you so much! Please don't leave me…"

I'm already gone, though. "I'm very sorry Tanya." I replied patiently. "How about this? I'll call you again when I arrive- deal?"

"Okay! How long until you get there?"

Don't you have other things to do besides wait for me?? I was practically screaming at her in my head. Why did she have to ask so many questions?

"I don't know, soon. Don't worry. I'll call you later, bye."

I hung up before she had time to reply. Sliding my phone back into my pocket I saw Jasper and Emmett share a look, but I beat them too the punch.

"Don't. Even. Say. It." I warned "Or I'll lock your doors and windows and spray the entire bottle of cologne Tanya bought me into this car!!"

Emmett let out a booming laugh "Oh, please Edward, as if you would. If you did that, the stench would stay in the car permanently. You might never get it out!"

Jasper chuckled "Besides, it's too expensive to use on the likes of us."

I let out a low growl. Why, oh why, did these people have to know me so well? My threats had become ineffective! I was still contemplating actually doing it, however, but Jasper raised a good point. I let out a sigh of defeat, and let the subject drop. There really wasn't any purpose to threatening them anyway—they were all the family I had.

I had never known my father, and I was very young when my mom died- only about five or six. I had been sent to my god-parents' house to live, for which I have been eternally grateful. My god-parents had been my mom's best friends- Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Emmett was their son, and we had already been pretty good friends. Carlisle and Esme took me in as if I were one of their own. I had everything I asked, and I tried not to ask for much. They even gave me the things too valuable to be bought. Love, acceptance, a family. I came to think of them as my parents, and all of us grew even closer.

Since Carlisle was always traveling (as one of the premier heart surgeons in America, he was in demand at medical conferences across the globe) Emmett and myself had been placed in a boarding school in our hometown of Chicago. That way, when Carlisle and Esme were in town, they could visit easily.

At boarding school we met Jasper Whitlock- our new roommate. He was very shy at first- due to his family troubles and abusive past. He didn't know if he could trust us. It had been hard to earn his trust, but it had definitely been worth it. To put it simply, Jasper was a good person. He would do all he could to make you feel better, and to find solutions to any problem. The three of us became best friends, and the rest, as they say, is history.

"Take the turn up ahead." Emmett called out, looking at a map in his lap, and the circled address. "We'll be there soon."

I grunted in acknowledgement, and slid my car smoothly into the turn. Soon… soon we'd start college. Soon we'd start the rest of our lives. Soon, soon…

With the music still blasting obnoxiously from our car, we pulled up in front of our new home. The outside looked good so far- there was a small patio and a sturdy door. Right now there was a note on the door, which I was anxious to read. However, there was stuff that needed to be taken care of first.

"We're here guys!" Emmett stated the obvious in an excited whisper. His eyes were rounded in awe, as if he couldn't believe that this moment was happening. Jasper bore a similar expression, though by the slight squint of his eyes I could tell that he had spotted the note as well.

"Can you believe it?" I wondered out loud, still over coming the new feeling welling up inside of me. I felt…different. Almost more mature. I had- we all had- worked damn hard to get here. I thought I was happy when the acceptance letters came in, but it was nothing to what I was feeling now. Now I was actually here. Physically standing here. It was unbelievable.

"Come on guys! Let's check it out!" Even quiet Jasper was excited. He grabbed the keys from me and sauntered his way over to the trunk of my precious silver Volvo. Opening it up, we took out our baggage and made our way to the condo. I caught a glimpse inside through the window. The view made me stop right in my tracks, causing Emmett and Jasper to crash into me. Two words came to mind as I saw the room that stood before us.

Holy Hell.

BPOV:

Alice sat in the back seat, humming quietly to herself. When at least a full minute had gone by without her speaking up, I began to get nervous. With Alice Brandon, no new is definitely bad news. She's only quiet when she's asleep, concentrating, or plotting something nefarious. I twisted around in my seat so I could see her—she was frowning slightly over brightly colored cards she had laid out on the backseat next to her. I sighed quietly in relief. Tarot.

Alice was a firm believer in the supernatural, paranormal, and eerie. She was, as even extremely grounded Rosalie admitted, uncannily good at predicting things—we called her our little psychic. She read tarot, palms, tea leaves, and even ancient runes, when she was in the mood (she would only read runes for important things, though: she said it irritated them to be bothered over trivial matters). She was likely doing a tarot spread on our new circumstances.

"So, psychic wonder, what do the cards say? Are you doing a Major or Minor spread?"

"Major… and I'm not really sure. I'm getting Death, the Magician inverted, the Chariot, the Hermit, and Wheel of Fortune…"

"What just a moment," Rose interjected, sounding faintly alarmed, "death?!"

Alice sighed. "Don't worry… that doesn't mean anyone's going to die… it represents a major change. The end of one period and beginning of another."

"Like… going to college?" I asked.

"Yeah, most likely. That one makes sense, but the others… the inverted Magician is confusion or betrayal," I gulped. "The Chariot is difficult decisions, the Hermit innocence, and the Wheel of Fortune good luck and opportunity. I think. But there are so many interpretations, it's hard."

I nodded sympathetically. Good luck, that sounded… good. I could deal with innocence… it was the difficult decisions and betrayal that bothered me. I shook of my unease. It was a bunch of cards—I shouldn't let it ruin my day.

"The next exit! Take the next exit!" I shouted at Rosalie over the blaring music that poured from the radio, and Alice's singing.

Rosalie nodded, signaling that she heard me. "Alice! Quit bouncing around back there! You're distracting me!"

Alice did one last wriggle before settling down. "I just can't believe we are almost there!" She let out a high-pitched squeal, and settled back down.

Twenty minutes later (it would have been less, but we got a bit lost once we were in town), Alice shoved herself into the space between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. She pointed ahead with her finger. "There it is! And look, Emily and her friends have already arrived!"

That was true, there was a shiny silver Volvo sitting silently on the darkening street- right in front of the condo. It appeared to be empty, hinting that our new roomies were already inside. I breathed an uneasy sigh. I felt nervous, and the tarot card of betrayal and confusion was still fresh in my mind. Before I could voice my fears, however, Alice was already up and running.

"C'mon guys, let's check the place out!" Alice squealed as she leaped out of the car. Laughing, Rosalie went to join her as she ran to the door. I shut the car down behind me and hurried to catch up. They paused at the door, examining a note that had been left there. Luckily, there was a streetlight nearby, because it was getting dark, and fast.

Hey guys,

I'm sorry I couldn't be there to show you around your new home! That being said, I'm sure you'll love it and won't need me much anyway. I hope you have a great time in your new condo.

Your New Landlord,

Heather

P.S. You guys already paid the rent.

I shared a look of confusion with Alice and Rosalie. We knew we already paid the first month's rent; we had to before coming here. Why was she reminding us now? I gave a mental shrug, and reached for the door knob. It snapped off in my hand.

"What the hell? I didn't push to hard or anything, I swear! It just came off!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening in confusion as I looked from Alice to Rose and back again. They looked equally as bewildered as I was.

"Girls, we need to see something… and I doubt it will be pretty" Rosalie said grimly, grabbing our hands and towing us to a fairly large glass window to the right of the door. What we saw there made us gasp in unison.

"Oh my god! This place is such a dump!" Alice shouted in distress, her eyes showing her hurt.

"And what gives you the right to say that?" spat a smooth voice from behind us. I whirled around, completely alarmed. Standing before us, with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, was one of the most gorgeous members of the male species that I had ever laid eyes upon. He had bright green eyes, messy auburn hair, and the perfect build- lean, yet still muscular. He seemed to be about 5'10", and currently his green eyes were smoldering. There was another gorgeous guy next to him. He was incredibly tall and thick- every inch of him was composed of pure muscle. His deep brown eyes were also scorching, and he matched the previous boy stance. Both of them were glaring at us with malice. If looks could kill…

"Just look at this place! It's awful!" Rosalie sneered in reply, gesturing towards the window that provided us with a dim view of… something. Something that might have been a living room at one time in the long distant past. Now it looked more like a demolition site. "Besides, my right is written in the constitution under FREE SPEECH! I can say whatever I want!"

It was clear that she was angry. I was starting to feel pretty angry myself. Who the hell were these people? Why were they hanging around us anyway? I averted my gaze from the force of their glares, trailing it over to the silver Volvo. It was a beautiful car- except for the bumper stickers plastered on. They bore the logo for Volterra High School. My eyes snapped to the man with the green eyes, glaring at him with all I could muster. People from Volterra were jerks who only wanted to "have fun". Basically, that was there excuse to use as many women as possible without blaming themselves for all the heartache they caused.

Rosalie and the muscular guy were having some sort of intense staring match. Even from this distance they were leaning slightly towards each other, their stares never leaving each others eyes. The boy seemed at a loss for words, as if he couldn't believe that Rose was actually resisting his 'oh so tough' gaze. Finally, he pulled himself together and spoke up.

"'Whatever you want'? That's how you guys always think, isn't it!" He shot back with ferocity unable to be put to words. "Yeah, I know just how you… you… you monsters from Denali High School think. You think you own everything, that you're better than everyone, that the world should lay themselves down at your feet in front of you! Well guess what, princess, you may have the right to free speech but breaking and entering is a crime! So go tell your little friend there to give me my door knob back, and get the hell away from here!"

"Breaking and entering?" I snarled. That door knob comment had really struck me hard. "How can we be breaking and entering when we own the place? You guys are the ones trespassing! So you get the hell away from here! Besides, you idiots from Volterra are all the same! You're all arrogant, unintelligent, uncouth, vulgar, imbeciles."

At the end of my tirade, the guys were looking significantly angrier, and slightly more confused. A soft pattering of footsteps warned me in advance to the approach of someone else. A third man rounded the corner. He was leaner and slighter than the other two, with windblown blonde hair and light hazel eyes. There was a slight frown on his face as he came up to the scene of the battle. The frown did nothing to impair his beauty- I was starting to believe these guys weren't from the Volterra School at all. Boys from there were always disgustingly ugly. Honestly, there was only one thing going through my mind at this point: There are more of them?!

"What's going on?" He asked in a melodic voice, his eyes focusing on his friends, then to me, then to Rose, then to Alice- where it stayed.

Alice let out another small gasp and moved over to him. It looked like she was in some sort of dream-like state or trance, her gaze never left his face. Little Alice, who had been uncharacteristically silent, remained so. Soon she was standing less than a foot away from him. She stayed still there, and if it weren't for the total seriousness of the moment it would have been slightly funny. Alice didn't even come up to his shoulder.

The man smiled slightly, looking down at her with all the gentleness in the world. "You've kept me waiting a long time" he said quietly. His voice was deep and warm.

Alice ducked her head. "I'm sorry sir." She replied, just as quietly.

And they stood there, gazing at each other for what could have seconds, days, or an eternity. Four sets of extremely disbelieving eyes stared at them, before a cell phone broke the tension.

"Hey sweetie," the tallest one said "I'll call you later, ok? There's a bit of confusion going on over here. Alright, talk to you later. Miss you too."

When he spoke to Rose, the fierceness of his attack had not lessened. If anything, it had increased.

"What does she mean you own the place?! We're the ones who paid the rent!"

"You know, 'she' can speak for herself" I muttered, not sure if he heard me.

Rosalie glared back, opening her mouth to retaliate. But before she could say a word, Alice was in the fray.

"No you don't!" She hissed "we did! We're splitting the rent and house with Emily Cullen and her friends!"

The guys all shared a look of alarm.

"I don't know who you mean by Emily Cullen" The big one replied in a slow drawl, as if we were all six. "But I'm Emmett Cullen, and we are splitting the rent with Al Brandon and his two friends!"

Alice had gone dead white, and Rosalie had placed a hand on her head as if she had a huge migraine.

"Tell me you didn't" she said, glancing over at Alice.

"I did." She answered, staring off into space as if seeing unimaginable horrors.

Man was I lost… Rosalie groaned loudly. "I can't believe this… we have to share this place with these assholes. Emmett Cullen, meet Alice Brandon" She said with an ironic smirk and a gesture. "It has definitely not been a pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise I'm sure!" he growled back. "Seriously, what girl signs their name 'Al' at the end of emails?"

"And what boy signs their name 'Em'?" I retorted.

"The kind of guy who doesn't have a lot of time on his hands because he's working" replied the green eyed male. "Not that any of you ditzes would understand that."

I saw Rose take a deep breath, preparing to retaliate, but the blonde man beside Alice spoke first.

"People! Would you stop! We don't even know each other yet and we are already arguing! Could we at least step inside first?" He pleaded.

Rosalie let out a low rumble that sounded like a mixture between a growl and a hiss. "I'm not setting a foot inside that dump while any of you are here."

The blonde's eyes blazed with anger. "No wonder your school has such a bad reputation. If every girl in there is as pig-headed and moronic as you, then I'm not surprised everyone hates you!"

Alice and Rosalie whirled upon him, but before anything could happen I let out a scream.

"GUYS! CHILL! Could we at least get each others names so we could argue properly?"

The gorgeous guy with the green eyes looked like I had made him swallow a lemon whole. Emmett looked on indifferently- I suspected because we already knew his name. Jasper looked incredulous while Rose was smiling fiercely, as if daring them to make the first move. No one said anything.

With a sigh I continued. "Now, everyone knows Alice Brandon, and Emmett Cullen. I'm Isabella Swan, but I'd prefer it if you called me Bella."

"Okay Isabella" replied Green Eyes, with a crooked grin. I clenched my fists—doing that intentionally was just stupid and low. "I'm Edward Masen."

"Masen? Like a stone mason?" Rosalie said with a smirk. "That'll be easy to remember, you look like someone who's been inhaling too much rock dust. And I'm Rosalie Lillian Hale, and like I said earlier, I am not at all pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Jasper Whitlock" said Blondie simply, his eyes only focused on Alice's.

Emmett sighed hugely. But then, he probably did everything hugely. "Well… we probably should have checked up some more—"

"You think?" Edward muttered. Jerk.

"Hey! It's not his fault!" I didn't like seeing Emmett look so upset… if they were really friends, Edward should chill. Edward should generally chill. In fact, Edward should jump of a bridge. "The Washington University Living Assistance Board should have done a more thorough check up before putting us in touch with each other… all we're" I nodded at Emmett to make it clear I meant all of us, "guilty of is jumping to conclusions. And to be fair" I grinned ruefully, "It's half our fault too."

"You bet it is."

"God, Eddie, take a chill pill, okay?" Emmett rounded on his friend. "We're stuck with this, right? It's too late to sign up for dorms... and we've already paid rent."

"If anyone's going to be blamed… it's this Heather person," Rosalie muttered darkly. I would not want to be our landlady right now. "That… that… bitch set us up! If I get my hands on her… let's just say I'll be giving the Spokane Emergency Room some good business."

Edward grinned sardonically. I tried very hard not to notice the fact that this made him, if possible, even more beautiful than before. "I like the way you think."

I looked around—it was getting really dark. A quick glance at my watch showed that it was approaching ten o'clock.

"Look, you guys, it's getting really late… we can try and figure something out in the morning, but for now," I gestured grandly towards the door, "home beckons."

We all nodded reluctantly. Jasper grabbed Alice's bags, and gestured for her to go ahead. She smiled at him brightly and went to the doorway, where she seemed at a bit of a loss. I frowned and went beside her to see why she was taking so long after getting my bags from the car. "Oh!" I exclaimed, looking dumbly at my hand. "Sorry Alice!" I inserted the door knob which I still held into its former position and twisted. Nothing happened. We were stuck outside.

That was the last straw for Rosalie Lillian Hale. Walking right up to the door, without even pausing to remove her heels, she slammed her foot right into the wood like in one of those detective shows. The door opened with a slam and she grinned triumphantly. Alice let out a low whistle of appreciation and Rosalie took a mocking bow.

"Shall we ladies?" She requested, flipping her hair and seizing her bags as she made her way inside. Alice walked through the doorway after, and as I followed her, weighted down with all my bags, I heard her mutter, "The Inverted Magician."

Oh, damn.

High school had not prepared me for this.

Another A/N, because the first one just wasn't enough

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