A/N: (updated Feb. 18) Okayyy a really awesome reviewer kind of reminded me this was possible... Now I feel totally dumb! I mean, I sort of forgot about... being able to change stories from completed to in-progress! So yeahhh... I fixed it! And so thank you so veryveryvery much! *happy face*
Chapter title: The Pain
Rating: M
Genre: Angst, Horror
Summary: Set during the Berlin Wall, second chapter to the Deal. Ivan finally has Ludwig just where he wants him. Too bad Gilbert has too much of an influence on him, and there are those annoying emotions both have for each other. It leaves Ivan with just one choice, to make Ludwig hate Gilbert… and Ivan knows just how to do it. M rated for rape and molestation.
A/N: KILL ME NOW *heart* :D
E/N: Awaiting the next chapter...like a noob...muahaha c=
Chapter 2: The Pain
Gilbert woke up, glancing at the clock, not realizing he had fallen asleep. It was nearly six. He jumped, suddenly feeling another body beside him. Glancing down, he saw the blond German man, eyes shut tightly and tucked beside the Prussian. Gilbert felt a slight smile form on his lips, but then he remembered what had just happened.
He felt a surge of heartbreak and rage. He took in a deep breath before quietly waking his brother up, moving him gently to a chair by the window. The blond seemed to barely be awake and simply nodded along. Gilbert quickly changed the bed sheets and fixed the bed, keeping his eye on the pale, younger man who sat still. Gilbert glanced around, finally done with the chore. He walked towards the blond man and wrapped his arms very slowly around his brother.
After a few quiet moments, the blond seemed to wake up by the small whimper of pain he made.
"Ludwig?" Gilbert touched his brother's face, watching the icy blue eyes open with a slight confusion and pain.
"It hurts so badly…" Ludwig whimpered softly. Gilbert winced when he realized the young blond man sounded more childish than he did when he was an actual child back in his earlier existence.
"Shush Bruderlein," Gilbert whispered, not knowing what else to say now. Gilbert smoothed the blonde's hair back, feeling bad that he hadn't washed his brother before he had fallen asleep and worst that he had let himself and his brother fall asleep in the filth. "I taught you how to be proud and strong, don't do this to me now…"
"B-but it hurts." Ludwig whispered, his jaw tightening now. "I'm sorry Ost… I'm sorry! I just wanted to see you… I wanted to see you again, I didn't know where you were or how you were or what he did to you…" Suddenly the blond man was shutting his eyes tightly. "I'm sorry, I don't…" Ludwig shook his head quickly. "I'm so weak…"
"Westen, bitte!" Gilbert said sharply, making his brother shiver. The blond had never seen Gilbert look so angry, not even when he was going to war. Then Gilbert looked regretful and looked away, "Westen… You have to be strong. I don't want this to happen, but I can't… I can't stop it!" Ludwig saw the rage and the sorrow in his brother's dark red eyes. The silver blonde's hands were shaking at his sides, hands tightly balled up into fists.
"Bruder… Es tut mir-"
"Nein, let me help you wash up…" Gilbert mumbled, helping his brother up and to the restroom now. The door shut in his face, Gilbert felt his eyes widen in slight horror. From behind the door the blond winced, locking the door before frowning deeply. The blond didn't want to worry his brother but he didn't want to face the Russian man either.
"I'll be fine… I just don't want… you to see me." Germany winced before taking a step back. Prussia felt his face grow hot and he looked down. He nodded slowly, understanding what his brother wanted at the moment.
"Whatever makes you comfortable, 'kay Bruder?"
"Thank you…"
The water started up and Gilbert sat down near the door, covering his face and hating himself for letting the Russian man live. He frowned deeply to himself. He had gone willingly with Russia after World War Two because he hadn't wanted his brother to get hurt. He and America had made that plan possible! And Prussia had ruined it, in the end, Germany was still hurt. The Prussian waited impatiently for the other to come out, worried about his mental health and his physical health more than he ever had now.
The bathroom door finally opened, and Gilbert felt his heart jump to his throat. The blond stood there, eyes a little red and his skin a tad bit pink. Ludwig wore clean clothes. He stood there with an obvious limp and a shake. "L-Ludwig are you alright?"
"I'm fine, I just… I'm fine…" A weak smile formed on the blonde's lips. Gilbert jumped to his feet, hugging his brother tightly before moving away. "You should shower,"
"Only if you sit in the restroom and wait for me." Gilbert said quickly. The blond nodded and went back into the restroom. Gilbert quietly locked the door to the bedroom before going into the restroom and locking the door to there too. He turned the water on, glancing at his brother who sat near the door, staring at his hands with disgust. "I'll be quick," Gilbert said quickly.
The blond sniffled to himself, hating that he was so weak. Ludwig glanced up, noticing his brother was trying to be quick about getting ready. It didn't take too long for the silver blond to get out of the shower to change into clean clothing. Ludwig let Gilbert help him, taking his hand and letting Gilbert baby him again.
"Bruder," Ludwig whispered as Gilbert let him sit on the bed. His brother glanced worriedly at the clock. It was six fifty three. "I missed you so much," the blond stiffed again. Gilbert hugged him tightly before placing a kiss on his forehead. He hated the way Ludwig stiffened up.
"I'm happy I get to see you, I only wish… It could have been under difference circumstances." Gilbert felt complete again for the first time in a long time as he felt the blond relax a little. "Come on… let's hurry back down stairs, okay?"
"No." Ludwig said quickly. "I don't want to go downstairs."
Gilbert tried not to gulp. He had about five minutes to calm his brother down enough to see his rapist and to get him downstairs.
"You aren't going to make me go downstairs are you?"
"Bruder, bitte…"
"I don't want to go downstairs." Ludwig said softly. He didn't want to look weak, but he was scared. Gilbert reached over and grabbed his hand. Ludwig pulled away, shaking his head. Gilbert felt horrible. He glanced at the door and then at the clock. He had two minutes now. The blond man seemed determined not to listen. How would Gilbert get this over with?
"You have to Ludwig, please, I won't let him-"
"You can't promise that!" Ludwig choked, trying to breathe evenly. "I-I might believe you, and you can't protect me! I can't even protect myself or you, I'm a failure! I can't help you! And I don't want to go down there- you can't make me!" He blurted, his face flushing slightly and his facial expression a lot more childish than when he was an actual child, which scared and surprised Gilbert.
"Stop being so childish," Gilbert said sharply. Ludwig looked away. "We have to hurry or Russia will be angry." Gilbert automatically regretted saying Russia when he saw the flash of fear in the blonde's eyes. "Ludwig, please, don't-"
The clock kept ticking.
It was eighteen minutes after seven when he finally managed to coax the blonde into coming downstairs. It was calm and quiet and both males relaxed. Gilbert hugged the blond man tightly before letting him sit at the table, wondering where Ivan was. Gilbert went to the kitchen to get a cup to pour his brother a glass of milk or something.
A scream set the glass falling to the ground, and the silver blond running back to the table.
Gilbert hands tightened into fists and he bit down on his lip as he saw his brother being forced against the table. Ivan hands were on Ludwig's hips, and the blond was leaned over the table. It was quiet clear of the sexual tension in the air and how Ivan seemed to grind against the German's ass.
"S-stop it!" Ludwig choked, shaking as he felt something hard rub against him again. Gilbert bit down his lip as he heard Ivan chuckle, leaning down to nibble on the blonde's ear. "Gilbert! GILBERT! PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!"
"Ah? Don't be like that Ludwig, da? It isn't very fun when you don't moan…" Ivan whispered. His hands went to Ludwig's pants, starting to pull them down. Gilbert kept himself from doing something stupid, quickly realizing Ivan wanted him to do something stupid so he'd have a reason to really do something bad. "So be a good little slut and moan for me? Besides, I'm sure your brother enjoyed the show you put on last night, da?"
It broke Gilbert's heart when he heard the choked sob. Gilbert used all of his self control not to say anything. His brother was starting to cry again and it was making Gilbert feel like shit. Gilbert never felt worst in his live. He never wanted to feel so useless every again. "P-please don't do this! Stop it, please just stop it!"
"You do realize you were almost twenty minutes late right?" Ivan said cutely. Ludwig's pants dropped to his ankles. Ivan's hands went to his boxers, hands slipped inside to grab the blond who squeaked before a louder sob broke from his lips before he could even think to hold it back. "I said seven. I didn't say seven-ten, I didn't say seven-fifteen; I said seven, da?"
"I'm sorry, please just stop." Ludwig choked, trying to sound calm, wanting to move away but sandwiched between the table and Ivan. Ivan licked the blonde's neck before pulling his boxers down, starting to undo his own pants.
"STOP IT ALREADY YOU FUCKING SICK SON OF A BITCH!" Gilbert exploded. His eyes were dark with hatred and disgust as he glared openly at the Russian. "Get away from Ludwig, you damned bitch." Ivan giggled before he let his hands start to wander across the blonde's skin.
He's all mine.
Ivan let out a happy sigh before his lips touched the blonde's neck again.
Not even Gilbert can claim him now…
Gilbert felt shocked, he had hoped Ivan would have at least glared at him, punched him, beat him! It would have made him forget about Ludwig- It would have… it would have helped his brother!
Mine, mine, mine, he's all mine…
"RUSSIA YOU BITCH!" Gilbert shouts, but he's shaking now. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!"
Ivan gives the blond a kiss on the cheek before reaching down to help the younger man back into his clothes. "Don't worry; I just wanted to scare you. I think you're pretty when you cry. I like it when you scream too, da? It's very cute," Ivan released the blond who also instantly threw himself into his brother's arm, trying to bury his face against Gilbert's shoulder.
They're too close.
"Hmph," Ivan felt a childish pout form on his face.
I need to make him hate Gilbert…
A suddenly wicked grin flashed on Ivan's cutely childish features. "Gilbert, you need to be punished for talking out, da?"
Gilbert gulped, but he sat his brother at the table before following Ivan out of the room despite Ludwig's protests. "What do you want Ivan? If you're going to punch me, why didn't you just beat the shit out of me in front of Ludwig? It's not like you to give a shit." Prussia winced when he saw the Russian's face, a cheerful smile.
"I want you to fuck him, da?" Ivan said brightly, an even cuter smile on his face.
He knew the only way he could ever get Ludwig to love him was if he had no one else to love- or Ludwig had to feel hated. And there was only one way to do that… at least only one way for Ivan to have fun watching, and for it to happen quickly.
"YOU TWISTED SON OF A BITCH!" The Prussian man screamed. His eyes were wide with fury and hate and disgust.
"If you don't do it to him, I will break him Prussia." Ivan covered his mouth with his hand as a cruel grin formed on his lips, his violet eyes seemed to brighten with sick, sadist pleasure before he slowly moved his hand away and closed his eyes. He looked like an innocent child, a soft, sweet smiling replacing the twisted smirk, though he did look a bit sheepish.
Gilbert could not see the cruelty of the violet eyes.
But he still knew the Russian man's sanity was all but a glass mask, oh how easily it could be shattered.
Gilbert walked back into the kitchen feeling sick and disgusted with everything that had happened. He glanced at his younger brother before back at Ivan. He frowned deeply and tried not to cry. "When?" He barely said it loud enough for the Russian man to hear, but the Russian man always heard those types of things.
He grinned before he paused. "Now,"
Gilbert lifted up his chin a little; he couldn't believe he was going to do this. Which would be worst, Gilbert being forced to hurt Ludwig or Ivan hurting Ludwig? "Ludwig?" The blond looked a bit tired but he also looked scared. The silver blond reached for his younger brother's hand, taking it and kissing his knuckles. "I'm sorry,"
"Bruder?"
"Come on," Gilbert's voice sounded gruff, even to his own ears. He couldn't face his brother anymore. He couldn't bear to look at the one person he loved more than life itself. What could he possibly say to him when this was all over? His brother trusted him; he would never forgive him for this.
He would never be able to forgive himself.
"Warum?"
"Bitte Bruder… Komm…"
"Why?" Ludwig nearly shouts now. "What do you want? I thought I came out here to do something, not to just get dragged somewhere else!" Ludwig tries not to look frightened when his brother grabs his arm a bit too roughly for his liking. "Bruder? Let go, stop it Gilbert! Let go already!" The blond snaps before pulling away, hating the way his blood ran cold when his brother turned to glare at him.
"Ludwig, come over here, please." Gilbert said softly, trying to keep his voice calm. But his thoughts were scattered, and he couldn't talk right. The words either came out sickly sweet or simply hateful. "Bitte Ludwig…"
Ludwig nodded, wanting to trust his brother and yet he felt sick. He wanted to turn away, to beg his brother to just come back down stairs or to make Russia stop smiling. It was scaring him, the way Russia smiled so cheerfully and the way Gilbert looked so guilty.
Ludwig's heart stopped when they came to the bedroom. He didn't want to be here. He glanced back towards the hallway, trying to calculate how long it would take for him to run there and maybe get down the stairs- than he remembered how much it hurt to move quickly and he frowned. "Bruder." Gilbert's voice brought him back to the realization he was still trapped.
"What are we doing here?" Ludwig's voice came out too quiet. His brother heard though, by the way the red eyed man's face twisted up in something that could be described as a mix of pain and guilt, it was obvious he had heard.
"Follow me," Gilbert whispered, taking the blonds' hand and kissing his palm. "Please, don't hate me…"
"I won't hate you," Ludwig managed to whisper, but he was starting to shake. He let the silver blond man lead him inside. Finally Gilbert sat down on the bed. He reached for Ludwig's hand and pulled him to sit down on the bed as well. Ludwig was acutely aware of the Russian's eyes.
Gilbert slowly leaned over, kissing Ludwig on the face, even slower moving his hands to hold the blonde's face. Ludwig felt his heart jump before he moved back a little. The blonde's cheeks flushed slightly but he shook his head sternly at Gilbert. What did his brother not understand from what had happened? Why would Ludwig want him to kiss him now of all times?
"Don't," Ludwig mumbled, glancing down at his hands. He still felt dirty, he had scrubbed and scrubbed, and he still felt dirty! He didn't want to make his brother dirty too. Ludwig gritted his teeth when suddenly he felt two hands grasp his shoulders. Ludwig glanced at his brother's face, his red eyes dark and confused; the silver blond man not smiling, his lip in a tight line, almost scowling.
"What is it Prussia? You can't do it?" Russia suddenly said tauntingly, noticing that the silver blond seemed to have frozen, hands still grasping the blond, yet his mind was blank.
"I can do this," Gilbert's voice broke the silence and Gilbert sat up straighter. "Es… Es tut mir Lied, mein kleiner Bruder…"
"What are you talking about?"
"Trust me," Gilbert whispered, bringing his lips down to touch the blonde's cheek. "I love you. Please, may I?"
"Get off of me!" Ludwig suddenly screamed as he realized what was going to happen, his hands pushed out, trying to get the older male away. Ludwig's heart raced with fear and a sudden sense of a deep betrayal, and he saw blurred colors, white and red and black. Ludwig shut his eyes, letting out a cry of anger as he felt he was going to be sick. Almost as quickly as the sense of hurt had come, it left him stunned and weak with trepidation. The blonde's eyes snapped opened to see nothing but a white blur. Gilbert placed multiple kisses on Ludwig's cheeks.
"Luddie, Luddie? Are you okay?" Gilbert felt a sense of peace when he saw the slight childish confusion in the soft blue eyes and small gesture of love when Ludwig snuggled against him. Gilbert felt gritted his teeth when he hugged the blond to himself. How could he be willing to do this? He must be some sort of sick monster. He is some sort of sick monster, but he didn't…
He didn't want his brother to be broken.
Which would really break his brother though, him or Ivan?
"I can't do this…" Gilbert managed to choke out as he rocked his brother in his arms, crying now. Gilbert bit his bottom lip before moving away the blond, suddenly looking regretful. "Please forgive me, forgive me… I love you…" The red eyed man choked as tears dripped off his face. He gave the blond another kiss, but Ludwig couldn't move. He was paralyzed in fear and hate and horror.
"S-stop it, please stop it… it's going to hurt, I'll do anything but this, please!" Ludwig managed to open his mouth though the words felt thick and useless. Ludwig's jaw tightened and he felt his former lover caress him.
Gilbert's hands were as cold as Russia's.
That simple thought made Ludwig cry out and try to move away. "Please stop, it hurts, it hurts!"
Gilbert tried to block it out. He couldn't bear to stop now. He wanted to stop, he wanted to and yet he couldn't. It was sick how everything fell into place, how he had to do this, how he was so unsure of whether or not if he should be doing this. He didn't want to hurt his brother but he didn't want Ivan to do this to him either. Which was worst, him doing this to Ludwig or Ivan doing this to Ludwig?
"No, please stop it! G-Gilbert please, make it stop, get off of me!" The German pleaded. Gilbert bit back his own cries, his own emotions and set one goal for him, to get this over with, with as little feeling as possible. He tried being slow and gentle, he tried to make the younger man okay with what was happening. He didn't want to be the only one moaning, but he didn't want his brother to cry out in pain either.
Gilbert hadn't even realized he had lost control until it was too late.
The sobbing, shaking body was too beautiful for him to handle himself. The soft, pale skin, it made him so hungry. It almost brought him back to his golden days, when this was normal. When nations fought and won and conquered. And this beautiful, tempting body under him was all his. His to conquer, to steal and to take, it was all his…. All his-
He woke from his carelessness when he had that last moment of complete pleasure. His brother screamed in pain and fear and simply heartbreak while he gave one last moan of delight…
His world came crashing down with a simple recognition, he was exactly like Ivan.
He was a monster.
Gilbert looked down, down at the one person he swore he would always protect. The one person who he would have given his life up for, do anything for, and he did do that. He had taken all of his little brother's pains for so long. He had taken his beatings, his sorrows and his heartbreaks. And Gilbert just lost it; he lost his baby brother's trust, and Gilbert knew he didn't deserve it back. The only person he had ever loved more than himself, and Gilbert had lost him. Gilbert choked as more tears dripped from his cheeks. "L-Ludwig?"
No answer.
"Ludwig, please, I'm so sorry!" The silver blond man choked, more tears rushing down his face. He slowly nudged the blond who barely seemed to be breathing. "Ludwig, Luddie, bitte, Westen!"
A tiny sob began to shake the blonde's body. Gilbert threw himself over the shaking body, crying louder as he clutched his brother closely. Gilbert felt the blond stiffen and tense under him and Gilbert wanted to regret even thinking about holding his brother and yet he wanted to hold him tight and beg for his forgiveness. And yet, Gilbert knew he couldn't do that. He knew that even if Ludwig had somehow managed to forgive him, he'd never be able to forgive himself for what he had done to him.
"I'm so sorry, please, I'm so sorry!"
Ludwig shut his eyes, managing to curl up into a ball as he tried to avoid having to look at his brother. He couldn't face him. He couldn't face his dear older brother anymore. His brother had seen his ugliness. His dirty, tainted body and everything Ludwig wanted to hide from him.
"Come on Gilbert," The Russian said cheerfully, and Ludwig had never thought he would feel relieved to hear the other man's voice. "Let's leave Ludwig in peace, da? I'll come visit him later… I'll give him an hour to piece himself back together," Ludwig opened one of his eyes to peek up towards the Russian who smiled kindly despite having seen everything and even being the one who had told the Prussian to do it. Ludwig quickly shut his eyes again, turning away completely now as wished he could disappear and not have to deal with it anymore. He wished he could wake up from the nightmare already. He wanted to wake up crying and begging his older brother to hold him, just like he had when he was a child. He wanted the Russian to go away and to leave them alone. He wanted to be alone in his house and wishing for his brother to come back.
Gilbert's heart shattered as Ivan grabbed his arm and pulled him away from his brother. Gilbert knew he'd never be forgiven for what he had done. He did not think for even a moment that he deserved to be forgiven.
Ivan couldn't help the smug smile on his face now. He felt better about this plan than he had before. He finally had Ludwig, and he knew Ludwig wouldn't be able to stop himself from hating Gilbert. Ivan's lips twitched a little; barely able to hold back the laughter he was desperately trying to hide. Ludwig trusted Gilbert, and Gilbert had done that to him. Ludwig had loved Gilbert. At least when Ivan had done it to Ludwig, there had been almost nothing there before.
Ludwig was Gilbert's baby brother. Ludwig loved Gilbert, and Gilbert had raped him.
Oh the joy, a wide smile broke across the Russian's face as he dragged the crying Prussian man out behind him. Ivan finally had Ludwig all to himself. Gilbert would never be able to forgive himself, never able to look at the blond again if his guilt was as deep as Ivan suspected. He would never be able to claim the blond and their bond had finally been broken. There was no way Ludwig could love Gilbert now. Gilbert sobbed louder, and Ivan giggled to himself. This was going to be fun. Ivan was going to be able to remodel an already perfect pet. Ivan licked his lips; Ludwig was all his and this was only the beginning.
A/N: I didn't translate the German... sorry about that but um yeah. Even more sorry about the whole wait thing. It was a long long time before i had the guts to type this out :D And than I had to add this to this story after I realized (thanks to a reviewer) that I could! Anyways, reviews are awesome and help me out when I feel upset or can't write anything because I feel like I'm a zombie!
Oh yeah, I'd love to thank everyone who reviewed between Dec. 19 2011 and up to around now... Because they always made my day and made me sit at the computer typing for at least an hour... Even if I had writer's block and bad days and... even if I ended up deleting all the trash I wrote! So thank you all! Please Review?
