"No wonder Lalonde, it's stuck on kiddy settings!"
Time to kick this party up a notch. You switch settings to "party", ignoring "mature (18+)", "pre-teen" and "family". None of them feel entirely appropriate.
"Trust me, this is better," you nod.
"Okaaaaaay." Rose leans forward. "Jade, truth or-"
"Truth!" she giggles.
"Hmm... who or what was your first kiss?"
She blushes. "I... haven't actually had it yet so..." She fidgets awkwardly.
"To be fair," John says, attempting to lift some of Jade's embarrassment, "neither have I."
"Me either," agrees Rose and they look at you expectantly.
You shrug. "You remember Terezi, back in year 9."
Rose knows - she bore the information out of you long ago - but John and Jade gasp and boggle at you. You wonder they haven't known before now.
"And on that bombshell," mutters Rose sarcastically before continuing the game.
It is, you admit, a lot of fun. Mostly everyone ends up picking truths.
You find out Jade would buy a boat if she won the lottery, and John wishes he was better at computer programming, and Rose wants to be a famous author when she grows up.
You learn, basically, what you could have told anyone.
Your turn, and you're fed up of all this talking bullshit.
"Dare."
Rose pauses. "I hope you're ready for this. It's called '7 Minutes in Heaven'. You must pick one person to spend 7 minutes with you in a closet, no interruptions, no coming out or in during that time. You can pick another couple to do it as a sort of revenge. You can do/whatever you want."
"7 minutes!" John gulps. "Couldn't he do it for, say... 3 and a half?"
"That sounds reasonable." she admits. "So, who will you pick?"
"Well, we gotta split in half so... why don't we let the bottle decide?"
John grabs the liquor bottle from the buffet table.
"Here goes," he says, and spins it.
It spins and spins and for a moment looks like it's going to stop on Rose but-
Jade lets out a squeal. "What are we gonna do for all that time?"
"That means it's you and me," says John nervously to Rose.
"But I only have one broom cupboard," she muses. "So who'll go first?"
You answer her question by spinning the bottle. It comes to rest directly between you and John - no, it's slightly towards you.
"Right," you say, "I'm going to get a drink. Meet y'all at the cupboard."
Jade huh? You smile internally. Maybe it's that hidden bottle of alcohol you found discarded in the corner and spiked the squash with, maybe it's that weird fuzzy feeling you get when you make Jade laugh, but you find yourself formulating a plan for your 3 and a half minutes.
Jade has never had her first kiss.
== Be the other guy.
The bottle comes to rest directly between you and Dave - no, it's slightly more to you. You glance at Rose as Dave says "meet y'all at the cupboard" but she doesn't appear to move. You wonder how she feels about all this as she gives you an exasperated smile. "Come on," says Jade, tugging at your elbow, "accompany me to the toilet will you? I need the loo and this place is so big I need someone to make sure I don't get lost."
"See you in a bit," you say to Rose as you leave the room with Jade hanging off your arm, laughing and chatting. You glimpse Dave in the kitchen pouring a glass of water. He looks up at you, but before you can smile you've passed the doorway.
Jade pulls you along to the cupboard. "So, I'll see you in a bit," you say, making to go in.
"Oh, I thought it was me and Dave first," she says confused, but you shake your head.
"No, it was definitely me and Rose - the bottle was waaaay closer to me."
She shrugs. "M'kay then. I need to pee anyway. Where is it?"
"Just at the end of this hall," you point out for her.
She smiles and ruffles your hair. "Have lots of fun," she laughs, before bouncing off.
You really love Jade - all her smiles and happiness and bounceability - and smile to yourself as you shuffle into the closet, aware that it's pretty dark. You don't close the door fully, leaving a fraction open to let in a little light.
So, this is it. Your heart pounds faintly. The infamous cupboard smooches dare. Isn't this what normal teenagers do at parties, go make out in secluded corners with their friends? Assuming Rose wants to. Let's be honest here, you want to, quite a lot - not so much because you like Rose or anything, but more because... well, if you're going to finally have your first kiss, why not make it 3 and a half minutes long?
Maybe if you smooch her you'll fall in love and get hunan married and consume each others babies lovingly and there, in the dark corner of a small closet, you decide to kiss a girl for the first time.
==stop being this guy already
You're filling a cup in the kitchen when Jade and John walk past the door. John looks at you, unsmiling but still friendly, and Jade positively beams. Your heart skips a beat for a moment and you're not sure why.
They're already off to the closet, where you guess Jade will wait for you. The two buck toothed derps are inseparable, and you feel a pang of... envy, perhaps jealousy, at such a close relationship. It's platonic to the point of borderline brother and sister, and it's way closer than what you've got with Rose. But would you really want to be that close to someone, anyone? Rose, Jade... John...?
"That cup is pretty full," a voice breaks your train of thought as water overflows.
"I got lost in my thoughts," you admit.
"Was it me or you first?" Rose enquires, gently tapping your sleeve to show you to walk with her to the closet.
"Me, hands down," you say confidently, "the bottle was nearest me no doubt about it."
She breathes in relief. "I must admit, I am a little guilty at being happy about postponing 3 and a half minutes alone with John, but I honestly don't know how to tackle it." You stop outside the ajar door of the cupboard. Rose takes off her ill-knitted scarf and wraps it around your shoulders. "You, on the other hand... good luck." she says quietly, and turns to go back to the kitchen.
You take off your sunglasses, even though wearing shades in a practically pitch black cupboard would be ironic on so many levels, and take a deep breath. You re so ready. You're buzzed, slightly heady from your cunning contamination of the drinks and you're making this hapen.
Jade's never had her first kiss.
You're going to give her one to remember.
You slide through the gap in the door.
== John: Say something
It's dark, but you can vaguely see a lean blonde figure creep in front of you. You notice Rose is still wearing her stripy scarf.
She closes the door behind her, the skelf of light coming in through the gap at the bottom of the door giving you just enough light to see her stand - stand close to you.
"Can - is it ok if I kiss you?" you stammer and dammit your voice is high and squeaky, it's so embarrassing -
She doesn't answer. She just leans forward and kisses you.
== kiss Jade
