[Shrek comes back onstage. He's focused on a map. There's a pole with road signs.]

Shrek: This can't be right. I'm all turned around! (Checks his map)Let's see, I took a right at the Candy House, passed that weird old women in the shoe, took a left at Wawa. (Looks up at the road signs)Let's see, (reads signs) Duloc, Swamp. (rechecks map)

[There's a scream, as Donkey falls from the tree tops.]

Donkey: (Starts to get up)Watch were you're going, Mary Poppins!(Sees Shrek) Don't worry, you just stay where you are, I'll be alright. (Gets up)Man, that just shows that donkeys should not be climbing trees! But I had to something to shake those gones!

Guard #2: (Offstage)I hear voices!

Donkey: UH, oh! (To Shrek)Help a donkey out! (Hides behind him)

[Guards #1 & #2 come onstage. They scream when they see Shrek.]

Guard #2: Ugh, It's hideous!

Shrek: That's not very nice. It's just a donkey!

Guard #1: Step aside Ogre, and let us have him!

Shrek: Why, what did he do?

Donkey: (Fast and pleading)I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!

Guard #1: He's a talking donkey. A freak of Nature! As are you, unsavory Beast!

Shrek: You're going the right way for a smacked bottom, you are.

Guard #1: By the order of Lord Farquaad, I'm authorized to place you both under arrest!

Shrek: Under arrest, eh? (Roars loudly) Roooooooaaaaarrrrr!(Guards scream, but stay still.)This is the part where you run away. (Guards run offstage)And don't come back!

Donkey: Can I just say something, that was incredible! They were tripping over themselves to get away from you. I like that.

Shrek: Good, why don't you celebrate your narrow escape with your friends.

Donkey: But I don't have any friends.

Shrek: Now there's a shock. (Looks back at his map)

Donkey: Hey, are you lost or something?

Shrek: No, just trying to figure out the best route to Duloc.

Donkey: Puff, puff. Duloc, I know Duloc. You gotta let me show you the way, cause I'm like a GPS with fur.

Shrek: I'll be fine on my own, thanks. (Starts walking away)

Donkey: But no one's fine on their own. Not when you look like we do. (Shrek walks away)Hey! (follows him)Man, this place is going stepford! Didn't you hear what they said? We gotta join forces! Other wise, they're gonna lock me back in a cage, and I can not go back. I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I did 6 years in solitary for impersonating a, piñata!

Shrek: Roooooaaaaarrrrr!

Donkey: (Not scared)Wow, that was really scary! (Shrek's confused)And if that don't work, If you don't mind me saying, you're breath will certainly get the job done!

Shrek: Listen! Little Donkey! Take a look at me! What am I?!

Donkey: Really green and tall?

Shrek: No! I'm an Ogre! You know, grab your torch and pitchforks! Doesn't that bother you?

Donkey: No.

Shrek: Really?

Donkey: Really, really. (Shrek walks off)Man, I like you, what's your name?

Shrek: Shrek.

Donkey: Shrek? Well, know what I like about you Shrek? You got that whole, 'I don't care what anybody thinks about me' thing. I like that. I respect that.

Shrek: Oh, good. Goodbye. (starts to leave)

Don't Let Me Go

Donkey

Hey, hey, hey! You gotta let me go with you!
You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!
Well maybe you do.
But that's why we gotta stick together!

Shrek

(Spoken, angry)Donkey…

Donkey
No, no, no! Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak!

Just hear me out! I might surprise you.
I'll be a friend, when others despise you.
Don't roll your eyes! Stop with the mopin'.
You need a pal! My calendar's open!

I'll bring you soup, when you feel congested.
I'll bail you out, when you get arrested!
I gotcha back, wha-wha-what, (Does a karate move) when things get scary.
And I'll shave it, when it gets hairy!

Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
You need me!
You need me!

I'll treat you right, and never get shoddy.
If you kill a man, I'll hide the body!
So what do you say' You're not responding...
I think we're bonding!

Don't let me go.
Don't let me go.
Don't let me go!
You need me.

You and me, we belong together.
Like butter and grits,
Like kibbles and bits,
Like yin and yang,
Sturm and Drang,
Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip
But not an old lady hip that might break
I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake!

DONKEY (sing-sung):
Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey,
we'll stick together like that Velcro stuff, I'm the fuzzy side; you'll be the spiky.
Ooh! Like little kids and pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, you know, feeties.
Like donuts and' oh, what goes with donuts'

(Sung)
Donuts and diabetes!

You need me!
You need me!

(Guards#1 & #2 run sreaming in the far back of the stage, very close to the backdrop.Donkey hides behind Shrek)

And, I need you!
I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you,
I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you!
Don't let me go, Go! Go! Don't let me g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go!

Shrek: Only, because I'm lost, you can come.

Donkey: Yippe!

Shrek: But on one condition. You keep the jabbering to a minimal.

Donkey: Gotcha, no jabbering! Man, you won't regret this.

Shrek: Too late.

Donkey: Now, that's what I'm talking about! Shrek and Donkey, two star crossed friends off on a whorl wind, big city adventure! This'll be great! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!

[They leave]