The Most Beautiful Things Happen To Us
Rain: Sorry I'm late. T.T The storm killed our computer that has Internet on it and daddy took forever to get the new part.
Nolena: -sighs- Do I have to suffer in this story too?
Rain: Why?
Nolena: I REFUSE TO WORK IF YOU WANT TO TOURTURE ME!
Rain: Do you want to get together with Arashi or not?
Nolena: Shut up…-shifty eyed-
Itachi: …-mono toned- I feel so violated in this story…you made me bisexual.
Nolena: You are a nymphomaniac Itachi-kun!
Itachi: -glare- Who asked you?
Nolena: -whimpers- START THE CHAPTER!
Rain: -twitch- I'm gonna hurt someone…
Itachi: KISAME! Come here so I can complain to you in silent monologues! –Walks off-
Nolena: -twitch- Idiot…-follows Itachi mumbling something about him owing her for something or another-
Rain: …and now we begin…May whatever God(s) we believe in help us.
Warning: This chapter, for some reason is a little rushed. –shrugs- I have no clue how or why it is.
Last Time:
Like a giddy child in a candy store he drags his friend inside, closing the door and they sit down. Itachi turns to his friend with a small smile and takes her hands in his and she plays with his ring unconsciously.
"Kisame wants some children."
This Time:
Chapter TWO: This can't be safe.
Nolena mentally winces at the thought of a bunch of children running around the Hoshigaki-Uchiha household. Even when she was a child, children never liked her. Naturally she would avoid children and they would avoid her. When she was younger, she wasn't exactly someone that parents wanted their kids near. Ironically, the Celtic Universe happened to be just as bad as Earth.
"Something wrong Nolena-kun?"
Nolena blinks and then smiles at the brunette, making him smile back.
"No, I was just wondering how many you wanted."
Itachi tilts his head to the side.
"I was thinking of one to start with but I don't want to adopt."
"Who said you had to?"
"Is there a pregnancy jutsu or something?"
"No but I know someone who could probably figure out something."
A look of hope glows in the Uchiha's eyes and he grips the older woman's hands with his in excitement.
"You mean…there is a chance that Itachi could have children?"
With a quick nod from the uniform clad woman Kisame gripped his spouse in a tight hug; making Itachi squirm for air.
"K-ki-sa-me I c-cant bre-ath!"
"OH! Sorry!" Kisame lets go of the smaller man who gulps in the air like it was a drug.
"Who is this person that could get us children of our own!?"
Nolena smiles and they stare at her in wonder when she doesn't answer and walks away, heading to the washroom. The married couple look at each other anxiously and confusedly.
(-Three hours later-)
An angry looking woman appears in the middle of the Hoshigaki-Uchiha living room crushing a writing utensil in her hand.
"Nolena-sama…this had better be important! I was in the middle of writing a thesis for my new healing aid! I could get great recognition for it!"
The silver haired woman rolls her eyes, Itachi stops flipping through a magazine for cross dressers and Kisame peaks in from the kitchen where he was making a late night dinner.
"It is important Arian. Itachi needs to get pregnant cause the uh…I'm not really sure who is dominant but I'm sure Kisame is seme and said seme wants little offspring to run about the house. So, What do you have for me?"
Itachi swiftly flings his magazine at his friend's head and Kisame leans over him with his large hands on the back of the couch, supporting his weight. Nolena twitches when the magazine hits her head but focuses on Arian.
"I did create a pregnancy potion for both men and women of those who couldn't give birth for any odd reason. It was made for the Celtic beings and mainly women. I'm not sure how it would work on a human male."
"Would it harm him though?"
"That is hard to say…I'm sure that it would work, but…I'd have to greatly decrease the dosage or the poor man would have at least 16 kids in one go which would kill him. After decreasing the dose and altering the hormone structure, I still wouldn't be certain if it would work. There is a chance that it wouldn't work. There is a small problem with him not having a uterus, but that's solvable."
"So he can get pregnant."
"Why do I have to be the one to give birth?"
"You look like a girl." Was everyone's response. Itachi wished that he had his kunai pouch on him at the moment.
"Hey! I look better than a girl." Eye rolling over took the rest of the group.
Arian digs into her pocket taking out a tiny bag and rummages through it pulling out many, many vials of potion, solvents, power amplifiers, blood. "I know it's here…" eventually the black haired woman pulls out a small vial, with a neon purple liquid in it with a silver swirl. "This is it."
Kisame stares at her and runs his hand through Itachi's silky hair.
"Do you carry every potion you've ever made with you?"
"Yes, is that weird?" Arian tilts her head to the side for added effect and the blue man just shakes his head. "Well if I just do this-" she touches the vial with a gray glowing finger and the liquid inside turns magenta. "It'll be more suited for a male. If I'm correct all Itachi needs to become pregnant is a normal sized sip, no more that a quarter of this vial. Take it after sexual intercourse by mouth, obviously."
"OKAY, THANKS!" A loud door slam to a bedroom is heard and Itachi, Kisame and the vial of pregnancy potion are missing.
"Um…maybe we should leave?" Nolena makes a gesture to the door and Arian nods; they both leave as loud moans begin to fill the house.
While walking toward the village the two ladies begins talking. They talk about things they missed and such, especially Kyuubi, since Nolena left his training in Arian and Gemma's good hands.
"How has he been doing?"
"Well…he discovered that when, in humanistic disguise, the villagers like demons. Well…they like they ones who aren't blood thirsty at least…He actually ordered all demons to take a human form, and try to fit in among the ninja villages. There are currently over one hundred demons living in Konoha. Kyuubi is doing well, better than you did, actually…"
The black haired woman sighs as she watches Nolena sit on the ground in fetal position with a stormy black rain cloud over her.
"Oh, please, get over yourself."
The rain cloud begins pouring and a lightning bolt electrocutes her, causing her hair to go all frizzy. Arian kicks the moping girl who curls on her side tighter.
"SIGH…get up or I wont tell you about Arashi-san."
All of a sudden Nolena is on her feet, looking perfect as ever and smiling delightedly.
"What about him!?"
Arian steps away, feeling a little scared.
"Well, he's become an annoyingly emoly depressed mess since you left. He 'hates' everyone…except his son, and he has spent almost all of the past three years brutally training Naruto-san."
"Then I'd better go see my Arashi-kun! I'll make his day!"
The black haired woman watches helplessly as Nolena giggles to herself like a lovesick schoolgirl.
"Um…I'll take you to him I guess, he's training Naruto right now. I swear he works the boy to death, even at night."
(-Where ever that place is-)
The sound of a wall crumbling and a loud cry of pain are heard from the training arena that Naruto and his father happen to be occupying.
"Get up Naruto, you are stronger than this."
The blonde teenager groans as he clambers out from the rubble. The boy pants heavily as he falls back into a fighting stance before disappearing and attacking the light brown haired man standing across the room. He barely lands a blow before being pounded into the ground.
"That had to hurt. Who is that man Arian?"
"Arashi-san took a genjutsu form and goes by the name Pein, now. He didn't want to freak out everyone by suddenly coming back to life. Well that, and because he was depressed about you."
"Do you have to rub it in?"
"Sorry."
Nolena rolls her eyes and runs in the middle of the fight (more like a "Subtle" beating) tackling "Pein" to the ground; with in a second she is pinned to the ground with the genjutsu clad Yondaime on top of her. A look of surprise graces his features, as a wide smile dresses her lips.
Naruto slumps to his knees ready to pass out as he watches to two people stare/smile at each other.
"Does this mean I get a break?" No answer. "Good." The blonde falls backward and passes out.
"Ms. Nolena. You're back…and wearing Itachi's cloths."
"Long time no see Leader-sama. I see you've taken a liking facial piercing, and genjutsu."
The fake brunette slowly lifts the genjutsu and his normal blonde, facial piercingless self appears before her, still pinning her hands on either side of her head. His blue eyes twinkle with mischief and his lips twitch into a small smile.
"Sharp as ever, but the piercings are fake." A tanned hand strokes her cheek lightly and then replaces itself on her wrist. "Why haven't you replied to my letters?"
"I never received them, not yours or anyone else's. Mine never made it here either."
Neither of them noticed Arashi moving his face closer to hers, but Arian did and promptly left.
"I thought you forgot about me, I thought you left because of me."
"Never, I could never forget you, or anyone else; you are all so important to me."
"That's good to hear. You know, I missed ordering you around ever since the wedding."
A light blush graces the paler one's face. Arashi's lips a breath away from hers.
"Really? So what is your first command? Master?"
"I order you to kiss me."
"Yes…Master."
She leans up slightly and kisses the blonde man, who returns it deviously. When they pull away there is silence as they just smirk at each other.
"Good girl."
"Anything else I can do to please you, Master?" Nolena whispers playfully.
"Not right now, we have too much to talk about."
The silver haired girl smiled again at her "Master" as they stood from the ground.
(-Some time in the morning-)
Arashi yawned as he looked out to the horizon, to see the sun peaking out from it, and shifted on his perch on the tree branch.
"It's dawn, Ms. Nolena. We've spent all night talking."
She looks out from over her knees.
"So we have, no wonder I'm so tired." She pauses as a thought comes to mind. "I wonder how Itachi and Kisame are doing. I wonder if the potion worked."
"What potion?"
"The pregnancy potion, that Arian gave them. Kisame wanted Itachi to bear children; so I called upon the Phoenix Guardian."
"Ah, so there will be a bunch of little terrors running around. Let me guess, you'll get to be the Godmother."
Nolena buries her face in her knees.
"I hope not."
This struck Arashi as odd, he thought the Ex-Goddess to be an all around loving person.
"Why not?"
"Children don't like me, whether they were influenced by their parents or not. They always seem to dislike me. I have no idea why."
"That seems…odd."
"Very."
A short period of silence fell upon the two, before Arashi spoke up.
"Ms. Nolena, would you like to spend the day with me?"
She blushes not knowing the blonde man was hiding his own pink hue.
"I'd love to, but there are times when I believe I need to sleep. So maybe after a nap we could walk around the village?"
"I'd like that."
He kisses her cheek lightly and they go separate ways toward there homes.
(-After a nap about…11 am in the Hoshigaki-Uchiha kitchen-)
"So did you two have fun last night?"
Kisame smirks as he continues cooking breakfast.
"Plenty, I hope my little Uchiha got knocked up."
The shark man rubs his head after being struck with the newspaper, by his husband and mutters something about violent spouses.
"If I didn't get pregnant, then there is something wrong with that potion. I accidentally drank the whole vial."
Kisame snickers and Nolena stares at the brunette, amused.
"Wittle Itachi-kun made a mistake."
After nearly taking a chinaware plate to the head (which shattered on the opposite wall, Kisame can clean it up later) the silver-haired girl shut up.
"Sorry, let's hope nothing bad happens, and we'll get Arian to check in a couple days."
Itachi nods and sips his morning tea.
"If you are pregnant you'll have to eat at least twice what you do now, or the baby could be born under weight."
"Yes mother."
Nolena blushed and sipped her own tea, instead of answering.
"So you're a bit dressed up; in my cloths I might add. Got a date or something?"
The blush darkened and she smiled. She was wearing one of Itachi's random tight black mini-skirts and a long sleeved belled shirt in dark red with a plunging neckline, drawing attention to her already noticeable breasts. On her feet she was wearing her ever-famous black combat boots. Her shiny silver hair left down with a black hair clip pulling one side back.
"Sorry, but none of my old cloths fit and you're my size, so I borrowed them. I'm spending the day with Arashi-kun, so you don't mind, right?"
The Uchiha rolled his eyes and crunched annoyingly on a biscuit that Kisame just served.
"Do me a favor and bitch slap that bastard. He's been moodier than the Gondaime when drunk ever since you left, wait, maybe I should bitch slap you for leaving."
"You already abuse me enough as it is!"
"Means shit to me."
"Fuck you, you whore."
"Bitch."
"Asshole."
"Slut."
"Ugly cross-dresser!"
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
Itachi was about to attack his friend from across the table when a knock at the door sounded and Nolena stood up.
"Sorry babe, I'll see you guys tonight." Nolena gave them both a kiss on the cheek and left to the door to be greeted by her blonde "Master" soon to be boyfriend…if that was an actual term in her vocabulary.
Kisame chuckled.
"You two and your retarded, petty arguments, you always have one, at least once a day."
"Shut up."
"I find it cute, you're always so temperamental with her."
"She's annoying, I can't believe I call her my best friend."
"I can, opposites usually even out a friendship; she's the insane, idiotic one, you're the more down to earth, smartass one. Perfect balance, just like with your brother and Naruto-san."
"Do you think about these things all the time or something?"
"Sometimes, when I'm not training any of my swordsmanship students and when you're off working."
Kisame set a plate piled with the traditional Japanese breakfast goods in front of Itachi and then sat across from him with his own plate.
"You need a hobby."
"Tell me about it."
(-With Arashi and Nolena-) (A/N: -giggle-)
Sitting at the Ichiraku ramen bar and slurping down noodles, the two people talk about random things, like the weather conditions for instance. It was a nice sunny day with a few good clouds in the air.
"So, how is the lovely couple?"
"Annoying."
"Have a fight with Itachi again?"
"More like a daily, petty argument."
Arashi set his chopstick in his bowl stirring the ramen slowly. He loved ramen (Probably why Naruto loves it) it made a great breakfast meal. It comes with the veggies and meats and that satisfying warmth it leaves in your stomach to keep you going through the day.
"I never actually asked, how are you? You seem a little different from the time you left to Germany till now."
Nolena sighed and sipped her water and then sucked lightly on her chopsticks.
"Training hundreds of soldiers for war isn't pleasant, Leader-sama. I've been serving the German Army for years now, but, knowing I'm making normal people into tools of war; monster killing machines…it's depressing. It goes against everything I believed in for so long."
"You were only doing your duty."
"You should have seen these people, some of them were alchemists…and amazing ones at that…but…that's not the point. It's just that I see human beings slaying each other over useless things like race, religion, money, land or power. Then I see demons fighting for their families and pride but, living in harmony nonetheless. I see that humans, may not be the better race, even if it is the dominant species, which I am now a part of."
A tanned hand grasps hers and squeezes lightly.
"Don't dwell on it, people are cruel, I know, but it can't always be helped. Let's not talk about this…it's not good to be depressed so early in the morning."
Nolena smiles lightly at her companion and then the finish their meal and leave, intent on enjoying the this beautiful day together.
-TBC-
Rain: Wheeeee. Sorry it's so late, but as I said my compy died and I also became lazy –sweat drop- so thanks for being so patient. The chapter title sucks…lol. Oh…um, everything Nolena said was basically my thoughts in case you were wondering.
Nolena: I wasn't tortured and I kissed Arashi-kun!!! YAY ME!
Itachi: I was more in character at least…
Kisame: …I'm always OOC when Rain writes.
Rain: Deal. I can't wait to torture you Itachi –insert evil laughter-
Itachi: I am the one skilled in torture here so please don't flatter yourself. It's humiliating.
Rain: T.T I hate you.
Itachi: Look, a poor, poor annoying fangirl trying to kid herself. How sweet.
Rain: -annoyed- That's it! I'm really gonna make you suffer!
Itachi: -straight faced and leaves-
Kisame: WAIT FOR ME !!!! –chases-
Nolena: -shifty eyed- I take no part in this. –vanish-
Rain: -all alone- …Fuck.
Review please! BYE!
