I wasn't ignorant of pain. I had even experienced my own fair share of it throughout my life. However, there was a startling difference between pain caused by a tumor and pain caused by knowledge. It wouldn't appear like the latter would be the more torturous between the two (especially given the month full of pain and surgery), but I can personally assure you it was.

The throbbing, molten feeling of my brain being overwhelmed, memories appearing where they never were before and the pure understanding of the world around me. The only blessing of the knowledge was that the Gate closed too soon. Alchemy was just brushing into my grey matter, showing me how and what made arrays what they were, when the doors started to close. There were laws to this realm - equivalent exchange - but there was also choice. I didn't choose this realm, so the Gate paid me with knowledge. In this way, a debt was settled. My unwilling soul in exchange for the understanding of this new world.

It didn't mean I was satisfied - let alone happy - but the new knowledge made me understand, at least.

Then my consciousness was gone, everything was black, and I was lost in the void.


To be perfectly clear, the lapse in my senses was understandable, given the extenuating circumstances. I had just been a fucking ghost, before my mortal tether had eroded, my unbound soul was claimed by an asshole of a god, and I was dragged into an unimaginable hell.

Therefore, it was a long while before my consciousness surfaced between the bouts of 'pain, pain, pain' and 'what the fuck is this shit, what kind of world is this?!'. It was hazy at best, but slowly my surroundings were becoming clearer and clearer, though it felt like I was still half-blind. I was surrounded by wooden poles all around me, staring up at a darkened ceiling and the air was still. There wasn't any sound that I could decipher other than distant crickets and faint barking. Overall, it was very peaceful - if I ignored the fact that I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Lifting up a hand (because I had never quite broken the nervous habit of nail biting) only led me to my first conclusion. My hand was tiny. Chubby, small, and far from the dexterous hand I knew. I didn't even have the triangle-shaped mole on my left hand anymore.

I stared in incomprehension for a few moments before taking another careful look at my surroundings. Now that my mind was a bit clearer, those wooden poles looked like...wait. Was I in a motherfucking crib?! Why was it so huge? Why was I so tiny?

Silent panic consumed me for a moment before the second conclusion came to mind. My soul had been reborn. I was a baby. What the fuck?

Apparently my infantile instincts took over at that moment, because suddenly my ears were ringing and my throat was aching from the caterwauling that soon ensued. Judging by the distant grumbles and a faint thump, my screams were not appreciated by my new parent. Maybe parents? Who knew. Considering I was in the middle of freaking the fuck out, it was a miracle that I even acknowledged the faint sounds.

It was then that my bleary vision was entirely cut off, the overhead light sending my pupils into a frenzy and making a headache thump along the back of my skull. At least a shadow soon covered me, revealing a bleary, slowly-coming-into-focus scruffy face. Ceasing my screaming immediately, my eyes rapidly traveled across his features, noting absently that he was decently attractive. Messy pitch black hair and striking blue eyes complimented a sharp bone structure, and the warm smile that appeared was endearing. As he reached down to lift my teensy, tiny body it occurred to me that this was most likely my new father, and it only cemented the fact that I had been reborn.

Before I could do much else the man took a seat in a nearby rocking chair, and it was with considerable surprise that I found myself being consumed by sleep. The headache from the light and my own screaming had only increased in pressure, and it was with a faint acknowledgment that I realized my newborn brain probably wasn't suited to a young adult's thought process. Letting out a resigned sigh, I allowed the darkness to overcome me, resolved to rise above my body's infant instincts in an effort to learn about the world around me.


Author's Note

So I've basically constructed the array that I plan to use, and I know that yet again this is extremely short. Maybe this will be the norm and I'll just counter that with multiple chapters? I don't know. I'm trying to beat off my procrastination the best I can, so we'll see how it goes.

If anyone ever wants to chat, PM me and I'll tell you my tumblr (which is my third one and entirely anime - with a smidgen of HP - based. My second one is exclusively 5SOS while the first is a random mix of shit) so that you can message me easier. I'd just write it out right here, but my friends are dicks and I'd rather they not know about that blog.

'Til next time,

Mew