Yikes, the story's moving quicker than I expected it to O.O Oh, well, it's probably better this way. I wouldn't want to bore you guys. And just so you know, I'm not one to cuss. I don't like cussing in the least. But considering that this story takes place in a high school setting, and many high schoolers tend to cuss like sailors, I pretty much had no choice. Not if I wanted to make it (somewhat) realistic... And another thing! Kiyoko is not dumb. She just has an unfortunate combination of simplemindedness and stubborness. Yeah, winning combination, is it not? *sarcasm* Yeah, she's quite simpleminded, really, but she is usually not girly. She only acts that way around Issun. As I said, simpleminded. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story! This one's nice and long! Chapter 2: Through My Eyes
" If only you could see things the way I do . . ."
I stand there, frozen. Shock runs through my body like an electric current, paralyzing me. I try to think of something to say to her, some words of comfort or something, but I get nothing. What do you say to someone who tells you they're dying? " . . . What?" is what comes out of my mouth. It is the only response I can possibly come up with.
"I . . . I went to the doctor today because I haven't been feeling well," Kiyoko begins. "And I—"
"Wait, wait. You haven't been feeling well?" I know I cut her off, but I really don't care at the moment. I'm more concerned about her well being than anything else.
"Y . . . Yeah." She looks away in what most likely is shame at not telling me earlier. "You know, like headaches and stuff."
How could I have not known about this? Well, if she hadn't been feeling that good, she certainly didn't show it. Every day when I saw her, she'd always have that happy smile on her face. She never even gave the slightest hint of being sick. "And what did the doctor say?" I ask. I'm afraid of the answer, but I have to know.
Kiyoko's gaze flickers up to meet mine only to become fixated on the ground once more. "He . . . He said that I . . . have a terminal illness."
A terminal illness. In other words, an illness that will end up killing her no matter what the doctors do.
The numbing effect of the shock fades away, and the reality of what she's telling me hits me harder than a train going at full speed. She's dying. I don't even know how much longer she might have to live. Not her, I think. Not the sweet, fun, silly Kiyoko. Before I know it, tears flood my eyes and spill down my face. I pull her into a tight hug. I never want to let go, because I'm afraid that if I do, I'll lose her forever.
Kiyoko pulls away, holding me at arm's length so she can look me in the eyes. I see that her violet eyes are clear, free of the emotion that had darkened them before. And she's smiling. How can she possibly smile at what must be such dark times? "How do you do it?" I ask her.
She tilts her head in a curious way, the way she tends to do when she's confused about something. She answers my question with another. "How do I do what?"
"How . . . How do you smile like that even when you know you're going to die? How do you stay so cheerful?"
"Well . . . I just don't think about the future. I mean, why bother worrying about something that hasn't happened yet? I like to live in the moment, enjoy every day like it's my . . . last . . ." Her voice catches, but she quickly recovers as she always does. "As long as I do that—live in the present, enjoy every moment—I never have to worry. And . . . I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have made it this far. I'm grateful for the fact that I'm still breathing right now. Every morning when I wake up now, I'm grateful that I was given another day to live."
Wow. I never knew she could be so . . . deep. That must take a lot of strength, more strength than any of us probably have, to be able to think that way. To be able to smile in the face of death. If only the rest of us could be half as strong as she is . . .
"Anyway," she continues, "the doctor said I'll be fine for the time being as long as I don't get too stressed out or push myself. And like I said before, life is too short to worry. So I'm not going to."
She's right. Life is too short. Much, much too short . . .
o~*~o
When I see Kiyoko the next day, she's just going about business as if nothing had changed. Some freshman punk is tagging along behind her, carrying her books for her. She probably charmed him into it without even realizing she did. She has that kind of effect on people, especially guys. She's just so sweet and pleasant to be around—not to mention the fact that she is stunningly beautiful—all the freshman boys fall head over heels for her.
"Hey, Kiyoko," I say to her. Like her, I try not to think about the events of yesterday. "Who's your little friend?" I eye him suspiciously. Some guys would not hesitate to take advantage of Kiyoko's naiveté for their own perverted desires. He shrinks away from me, slightly intimidated. Good. He should be. After all, I could do some serious damage to him, seeing as I am a junior and he is just a puny freshman.
"Oh, his name's Inaru. He offered to carry my books for me. I just couldn't turn him down."
Of course. She can't say "no" to anybody. That's part of her problem. But this Inaru seems pretty wimpy. I don't think he could do anything to her even if he wanted to. So I let it slide. For now.
Kiyoko's walking alongside me when she has a sudden collision with an open locker door. "Ow!" she says, holding her head. Sometimes I have to wonder if she got the way she is from one too many hits in the head. Honestly, the girl's a klutz. She's always running into walls or tripping over something. Or getting herself hit in the head. The only time she's not clumsy is when she's dancing. Now, that's a sight to see. When she dances, all that clumsiness vanishes, and she's more graceful than a swan. Oh, and when she's practicing with the kendo club after school. She may not look it, but she can fight with the best of them. She's one of the top kendo fighters in our school.
"Oh! Did I get ya? I'm sorry!" says the person behind the locker that struck Kiyoko. I look around the locker door, and grimace. It's Issun, the annoying pest. Why him, of all people? When Kiyoko notices who it is, she freezes, her face immediately turning red. She's got it bad.
"N-no! Th-That's okay," she stammers. "I-I'm fine, really."
"You sure? 'Cause I could make it up to you . . ." That mischievous glint in his eyes appears once more. "Say, you could come over to my house tonight, if you want."
Please say no, I silently will Kiyoko. Say no, just this once!
"U . . . Um . . . S-sure," Kiyoko says in spite of my willing her to say different.
Shit. Who knows what he's going to do to her? I can only hope that the two of them won't do anything too reckless . . . Oh, who the hell am I kidding? This is Issun we're talking about. The night's probably going to end with Kiyoko losing her virginity. And didn't she say something earlier about not getting too stressed out? For her, this has to be quite stressful. I guess things should be fine, if Issun doesn't go and break her heart or something. Issun. This all rides on him. I pull him aside.
"Listen, you little bug," I hiss into his ear. "Kiyoko's heart is in your hands. Whether you treasure it or crush it is up to you. But I warn you: it'll be better for all of us if you don't break her heart. You hear me? Don't hurt her, or you will pay."
"Fine, whatever," he grumbles back. Anger flares up in me at his nonchalant attitude, and I tighten my grip on his arm. "Ow! I won't, I won't! Let go of me! That hurts, dammit!" I tighten my grip again. "OW! Okay, okay! I promise, alright?" I release him. That's what I wanted to hear.
"And don't you forget it," I say. Yes, everything's going to be all right, but only as long as he doesn't forget . . .
o~*~o
Kiyoko
Oh. My. God. I can't believe it. Issun asked me to come over to his house! I wonder, though, if he's implying something more . . . like inviting me into his bed. Oh, no, no, no, no! I blush just at the thought of it! I'm sure he only thinks of me as a friend . . . right? Oh, I don't know anymore. But all the same, I'm super-excited right now. Hopefully, it won't be too much strain on me . . . Wait, what am I talking about? I can't wait!
The rest of the day passes by in a dreamy daze. I can't even remember anything but the fact that Issun invited me to his house tonight. At least I know where he lives. But what am I going to wear? I rummage through my closet and tear my room apart looking for something acceptable. Should I go casual? Or dress myself up? I finally settle on jeans and one of my favorite tops—a purple, sparkly, tight-fitting number that plays up my petite size. I walk to his house, considering how I don't have a license and I'd rather not be a bother to my parents.
I walk up the steps and knock politely on the door. Issun appears at the door.
"Hey, Kiki," he says. "How's it going?"
"U-um . . . Uh . . . I-I . . ." I'm tongue-tied right now. Why does he have to be so cute?
"Come on in." I can't. My feet won't listen to me. I'm practically glued to the porch. "What's the matter? I'm not gonna bite ya or anything!" He's laughing. Laughing at me. I feel my face get even hotter. But at last, I force my feet to move, one in front of the other, until I'm inside. "Well, this is my humble home. What do ya think?"
I look around the house. It's not too shabby, actually. "V-Very nice," I say. Oh, why can't I say anything around him without stuttering? "Wh . . . Where are your parents?"
"Out of town."
Oh, my. We're alone in this house? All alone, and together . . . That's nearly enough to make me squeal out loud. I stand there awkwardly, not sure of what to do.
"Why don't you come on up to my room?" he says.
Did he just say what I think he just said? Oh, no. No, no, no. But again, my feet seem to have a mind of their own, walking me up the stairs and to his room.
Issun's room is a disaster area. It is so cluttered with various junk and dirty clothes, you can't even see the actual floor. Couldn't he have at least made an effort to clean it just a little?
Issun clears the junk off of what I can now see is a DVD player. A functional one, hopefully. He holds up a choice of movies to watch. "Which one do ya wanna watch, Kiki?" he asks. I point to the one I want to watch. "Cool. Let's get started."
We sit together on his bed during the movie. There wasn't much choice—all that junk in his room has taken up any available sitting place on the floor. Even though we aren't even touching, the close proximity of his body is enough to make me blush.
After the movie's over, Issun does something unexpected—though it's something I should have seen coming. He took off his shirt for no apparent reason, and it's all I can do not to faint at the sight of his fit body. Then off comes his pants. I'm feeling lightheaded now. He reaches over and tugs at my shirt. Omigod. Now he's trying to take my clothes off. I push him away. I'm not ready for that quite yet.
"What's wrong, Kiki?" he asks.
"I . . . I-I'm just n-not ready!"
" . . . Okay. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Come here."
I do nothing. I'm still too shy to even be this close to him. So he leans in closer, and my racing heart beats even faster. I can feel his warm breath on my ear as he whispers into it, "I love you, Kiki."
Did I hear him right? He loves me? Oh, that's the one thing I dreamed of him saying to me. Only this isn't a dream. This is real. Now that I know that he feels the same way for me as I do for him, all my nervousness, all those butterflies in my stomach vanish just like that. He loves me. And I love him.
I fall back onto the bed, and Issun gets on top of me. Only this time I don't push him away. He pulls at my top, and I allow him to. My shirt slides up over my head and is flung to the far side of the room. "I love you too, Issun," I say. My jeans slide off now.
Issun pulls me in even closer and kisses me. His lips are soft and warm against mine, and I relish the feeling. My very first kiss, and it is amazing. He breaks away for a moment, but before I barely even have the chance to breathe, he kisses me again. And again. Then I kiss him back. His body presses against mine, and I find myself pressing back.
As blissful as this is, a small part of me protests. It's too soon, it whispers to me. Stop it now, before you go too far with it. But the rest of me argues against that small voice, saying, Just this once is fine. And I may never have the chance to do this ever again. That part wins over. It is fine, I tell myself. Just for tonight . . .
o~*~o
I wake up the next morning to find myself on the floor. I must have fallen out of the bed in the middle of the night. Great. I'm clumsy even in my sleep. I think about last night. It all feels like a dream, but when I see Issun still asleep in the same bed I slept in made it real to me. I did it with him. I lost my virginity to him. But it was so worth it. It just felt so wonderful, I couldn't get enough. I look at the digital clock on the nightstand. 8:08 pm. Wait, what? Today's a school day! We're going to be late for school!
"Issun! Issun, wake up!" I say, nudging him. He mumbles something like "Five more minutes" and turns over. I nudge him harder. He still ignores me. I shove him even harder, accidentally pushing him right off the bed. "Oopsies . . .Wake up, sleepyhead!"
That did the trick. He wakes up, but he's not too happy about the way I went about waking him up. "What the hell did you do that for, Kiki?" he complains.
"Today's a school day. And it's past 8:00."
"Huh?" Then the information registers in his mind. He jumps out of bed. "Aw, damn! Better get movin'!"
After rushing to get ready and skipping breakfast, we make it to school just in the nick of time.
"Hey, guys," Snowflake says to us when she sees us.
"Hey, Snowflake," I say to her.
"So, uh . . . How did last night go?"
"Last night? Oh, it was simply amazing."
"Well? Tell me more."
"I never kiss and tell."
Snowflake's eyes widen. "You kissed him?"
"Well . . ." I deliberate on whether or not to tell her the whole story. Hmm . . . She'll probably find out sooner or later anyways—news spreads fast around here—so I might as well tell her. "I did it with him."
"You what? Kiyoko, you didn't! Don't joke about that kind of thing!"
"I . . . I'm not joking."
"You really did it with him? You're no longer a virgin?"
" . . . Yeah."
Snowflake is quiet for a moment. Then she snaps. "Kiyoko, you damn fool! You should never have said yes!" She takes a moment to calm herself, and when she speaks again, her tone is gentle and concerned. "You're not pregnant or anything, are you?"
"No. I'm not. And I don't care what you say—I love him, and he loves me. Isn't that what people in love do?"
Snowflake sighs. She thinks I made a mistake. But I say I didn't. "Yes, but he doesn't love you! He's just using you!" Oh, Snowflake. If only you could see things the way I do . . . She seems to think Issun is some sort of criminal. A player that will do nothing but break my heart. But she doesn't know him like I do. I've known him just about my whole life. She doesn't know how kind he actually is. He is so sweet and kind—he just doesn't like to show it. And he is loyal. He would never cheat on me or leave me like Snowflake says he will. He's just not that kind of guy. Not in my eyes, anyway. We both love each other, and that's all that matters. No matter what happens or what people say, we will always love each other . . . Forever and ever . . .
So, how am I doing with the drama thing so far? This is my first time doing anything like this, so please let me know what you think! I mean it, guys, please review! I still won't hesitate to go into fanfiction hiatus if you don't! Yeah, that's right. Review, or no fanfiction for you!
