Ibiki: KHON! Did you let Artemis watch History of the World part 1 again?

KhonYu: No, just Dark why?

Ibiki: Dark is playing on Krad's knees like a xylophone while Artemis is singing the Spanish Inquisition.

Artemis: The Inquisition….

Dark: What a show…

Artemis: The Inquisition….

Dark: Here we go…

Artemis: We know you wishing…

Dark/Art: THAT WE GO AWAY!!!! BUT THE INQUISITION HERE AND IT'S HERE TO STAY!!!!

KhonYu: …. Ok, now while we save the white wings… Like I said before I don't own Dnangel or the fanfics in this fanfic. The only things I own are Artemis and Ibiki and this fanfic, if you don't know who they are… CHECK THE PROFILE.

Iwonderhowmanyideascanruninmylittlebrainbeforeitblowsupinthousandsoflittlepiecesanyonecaretoguessthat'swhatithought.

The kids slowly turned around from the screen, standing right behind them were two young men looking about 17 or 18. One had short wild spiky violet hair with amethyst eyes dressed in black formfitting tank-top and black jeans. The other had long blonde hair tied in a long pony tail with golden eyes dressed in a white button up shirt and white jeans. ( Note: if you don't know who those two are, watch DnAngel then come back to the story. If you do… well heres a cookie)

"Oh, hey G-Guys." Artemis stuttered trying to click the website off the screen, "How was the drive to the store?"

"With this guy?" Dark asked, jerking his thumb at the ice hunter, "it was bad as hell."

"The traffic?" she continued, "Sucked liked hell." He answered, while Krad remain silent.

"Krad's driving?"

"Scary as hell."

"And you?"

"Angry as hell."

"The parking at the store?"

"Sucked more like hell." A small anime vein appeared on Krad's and Ibiki's forehead as the two continued their "Conversation."

"So?"

"WE'RE IN HELL!" The hunter and artist cried out before the Kaito could answer. "Enough with the questions little Niwa," Krad hissed as he separated the two from computer. "Now what are you hiding?" Krad lean into scene, a puzzled look was on his face. "What the?"

"What is it? How to annoy the killer blond replica?" Dark asked as he leaned in as well as the little tamers. (1)

Artemis began; "Thieving Advice by Inexoable." (2)

"By the way it's written it looks like some thing Dark would say." Ibiki replied as he began to read.

Thieving Advice

It has come to my attention that some of my fans believe that thieving is easy. Well, this is not true. The life of a thief is a hard one. I may make it look easy, but I'll have you know it took me years to get this art perfected. Now, if you still want to become a thief, well then, you've asked the right person how to become one. After all, there are many things to consider before you decide to go out and steal things like me.

"What the hell?" Dark bellowed, "Do people really think I would give my secrets away just like that?!? It took me years to master this art!"

"Dark before you continued to quote yourself off of someone's story I suggest you shut up and read." Ibiki replied. Krad gave a cough to hide his laugh and Artemis gave a light chuckle.

One: Clumsiness is bad, gracefulness is good

If you happen to be one of those people who can't walk a few feet without tripping over themselves, perhaps this isn't the best profession for you. To be able to steal, you must be able to walk quickly and quietly, to be able to dodge machines that are designated to keep you out (come on, let's be serious here, did you really think you were just going to waltz in and waltz out?), and to not make any loud noises that could give you away (i.e. tripping down the stairs).

Ibiki snorted, "A clumsy thief doesn't that sounds familiar?"

Krad gave a small nod, "Yes does sounds very familiar. Don't you agree, Dark Mousy?"

Dark rolled his eyes, "Unfortunately but give a thief their props. After all, there's only one master thief in this world."

Artemis frowned at their responses, "Hey, that's not nice, leave Daisuke alone. He's not that clumsy." Three sweat drops appeared on the boy's head.

'If you only knew who we were really talking about, Art.' Ibiki thought as they continue to read.

Now, maybe you're one of those people who trip occasionally. Well…you can become a thief, but I'd suggest not to go stealing at a museum where security guards will hear you and will chase you. To trip in a middle of a thieving expedition is a bad thing, unless you manage to take everyone else down with you…

"Just like what happen to you when you tried to steal the fallen angel's love potion and the moonlight mask."

"ok brat, first off I'm Not clumsy. I was tackled down."

Krad laugh, "I'm sure that you let yourself get caught by those police women and…"

"Krad, shut up! We talk about this."

"Are you talking about when Satoshi tried to kiss you by dressing as a girl?"

Dark froze for a moment, as the memories played in his mind. He patted the girl's head. "Arty sweet-heart, don't bring up that horrible incident."

Both blondes cocked an eyebrow at Dark's performance; "Tell me Mousy," Krad began "was it horrible for you or Master Satoshi?"

"Krad…" Dark hissed; as both angels began to draw out their feathers, Artemis interrupted. "Can we save the fighting for later please?" Sighing, both angels tucked the feathers into his pockets and continued the story.

Two: Dress sensibly

Well, isn't this a bit logical? Don't wear high-heels, bells, or anything else that will make noise as you walk, jog, or run. Wear dark clothes to help you blend in with the shadows. Wear a hat if you have long hair, light-colored hair, or both. Do not wear loose clothing. This can impede you when you're making a run for it. Do not wear clothes that are uncomfortable.

Do wear clothes that look sexy. If you want to be known (like me), then you'll let people take your picture to be put on the news, the newspaper, or just to keep around. Well, no one wants to look at someone who wears clothes that don't make them look sexy or mysterious. Do you want to be known as the-thief-who-wears-really-ugly-clothing-and-has-no-fashion-sense forever? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. (If you do not know what "sexy" clothing is, refer to me. I always wear sexy clothes. I make clothes look sexy. If you don't believe this, then I will be angry. And you don't want to deal with an angry Dark Mousy.)

"Oh yes, an angry Dark Mousy, like we don't deal with that every day."

"You know, your really starting to piss me off brat."

Three: Make sure you have a quick getaway

If you managed to steal something and you're running away and people are chasing you (and don't worry, they will be), you'll need to get away quickly. A car is nice…until, in your haste, you realize you've dropped the keys. Or if you crash into something in your haste to get far, far away. Motorcycles are ok as well…until you fall off of one and possibly break something (whether it be something in your body or the thing you were stealing). Just realize that both of these vehicles can be caught.

Ibiki blinked as a dark smirk plastered on his face, "So that's why you don't own a Dark Mobile."

Dark narrowed his eyes, "A Dark Mobile, who do you think I am Batman?"

The evil smirk widen, "You wear dark-skintight clothing, you travel only at night, and you traveled around with a young boy and a girl who way beyond half your age."

Krad cough to cover his laughter, Artemis thought for a moment; "If Dark is Batman and I'm Batgirl, does that mean Krad is Muraki and you're Tsuzuki Ibiki? (2)

This caught white wing's attention; "Why do you ask, little Niwa?"

"Because Ibiki has a sad past and you want his body." That little commit made Krad freeze up while Dark was shaking while trying to hide his laughter. "Although Ibiki isn't a grownup maybe you two are like Sasuke and Orochimaru."

"ok let end it here, shall we Artemis?" Ibiki asked scared to see what else he would be compared to.

Now, you may be asking, if I don't approve of motorcycles or cars, then what do I approve of? A helicopter? No, are you stupid? Helicopters take too long to start up, anyway. A boat? Are you kidding me? What would happen to your sexy/mysterious image? You will be forever known as the-pansy-who-ran-away-using-a-stupid-dinky-boat.

What I suggest you use are wings. You can use them anywhere, so you don't have to run to a car/boat/helicopter/motorcycle/whatever. Detachable wings are even better so you don't have to yell and scream as the wings come out of your body. Detachable wings that also are pets are even better for being inconspicuous. Detachable wings that also are pets that have the ability to shift into other forms (such as humans) are the best. And, anyway, people chasing you will never actually catch you when you use wings because by the time they're in the air, you'll be long gone, provided that you're graceful and not clumsy (see, your teachers were right, old lessons taught before do come back and haunt you!).

Artemis's eyes light up upon the response, "Wow, it would be sooooo cool to fly."

Ibiki nodded, "aside from having a parasite living inside of you, the ability to fly is truly amazing."

Four: Having an accomplice is fine

Having an accomplice might be a good idea for the fact that one of you can distract the guards while the other steals; or one can help you get away quickly after the stealing is done. However, just realize that accomplices want a share of the loot as well, whereas if you worked alone, the loot would be all yours. Furthermore, accomplices can stab you in the back, either killing you and taking the loot, or worse…handing you in the police. You must take this into consideration when looking for an accomplice…unless your accomplice happens to share a body with you. Then, most likely he won't kill you, lest he wants to kill himself too. Nor will he turn you into the police, as the police will likely not believe him. (Hello, I just wanted to turn in my other half. You see, he's the thief you've been trying to catch, but he sort of shares a body with me. Do you think you can arrest him and not me?)

Five: There will always be people after you

Whether it be the fangirls (or fanboys, in some cases) or the police, someone will always be chasing you, especially if you become famous. Contrary to what you might think, fangirls are not a good thing. They are scary, clingy, and will do much more damage to you than the police would. They would literally tear you apart in hopes of getting a piece of you. And yes, I said exactly what I meant. They want a piece of your clothes…or your hair…or of you. So, unless you are a fast runner or suicidal, just be warned that there will always be people after you.

Six: There will be a hot, sexy, homicidal, angelic-looking blonde looking to kill you

"There is what???"

"A Hot…Sexy…Homicidal…"

"I KNOW WHAT IT SAIDS, BRAT!!!!"

"Don't call Ibiki a brat, Dark."

"Now you're against me Arty?" Dark's asked; his eyes lingered with betrayal and sadness. Tears began to pour out of the girl as she hugged the thief, "I'm sorry dark."

Ibiki was annoyed, Krad may be manipulative but Dark could easily pull on Artemis's heart strings.

"Keep quiet all of you," Krad snapped, his eyes glued to the screen, "I curious to know what this is about."

WARNING. This is very important. If you are very scared of hot, sexy, homicidal, angelic-looking blondes, this is not a profession you should choose. Hot, sexy, homicidal, angelic-looking blondes (Now called HSHAB) will try to kill you and, in their spare time, think of ways to make your death painful. No, I do not jest. Oh, and if the HSHAB's name is Krad, you should be running. You should be running as fast as you can and as far as you can. But it probably won't help. Err…sorry to say, but you'll probably be dead.

Seven: Be good, but not too good

It's nice to be good, isn't it? It gives that warm and fuzzy feeling in your chest, doesn't it? Well, that's a good thing. Be a good thief.

But, if you're too good, that's when it turns bad. After all, you don't want to be competing with me for the best thief of the world, right?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Because if you did, I'd kill you.

And stuff…

"Wow, Dark that was the lamest excess I have ever seen." Ibiki replied shaking his head.

"Is that really all you can say? 'I'll kill you and stuff?' "

"You should talk Krad, you sound like a damn broken record."

"I will kill you Dark Mousy."

"And you're doing it again!"

An anime vein appeared on Ibiki's forehead, "Shut up, Both of you. You're acting like ki…" Before the young Hiwatari could finish Artemis snapped her fingers and two water basins landed on the angels heads. 'Ouch,' was all they could think as they rub the sore spots on their heads.

"Ok Art, not very original."

She shrugs; "They're quiet now."

So, what did we learn from all of my ramblings today?

Probably not a lot. Besides the fact that fangirls and boys are scary, HSHAB are even scarier, and to be better than me at thieving is scariest.

Yeah, so don't be thieving, or you might get hurt.

"Hey look, there another one." Artemis began, with a few clicks a new story was on screen.

How to Become an HSHAB Member

Artemis tried to smile as a sweat drop appears on her head as well as the others. "Well…this looks interesting; since we have it we might as well read it."

So, I've noticed that the thief has published a guide on how to become a thief. And I also noticed that many people actually read and reviewed the guide. Now, this piece of information that I have gathered has made me sad. Why would you want to become a thief? That job is so overrated…What you need is a better job. A job that commands respect. A job that is more gratifying than just stealing a few things here and there. Yes. That's right. I'm talking about becoming a HSHAB member.

Now, I'm taking time out of my busy schedule of killing Dark and thinking of ways to kill Dark to teach you how to become a HSHAB member. So you better listen well and take notes. Or I'll come by to your house later and kill you.

"Let see, "Krad's schedule", Dark began, " Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Lunch, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill Dark, Plan to kill…"

"OK WE GET IT ALREADY!!!"

One: Are you a blonde?

The most important feature of a HSHAB member is their blonde hair. Whether it be long or short, wavy or straight, spiky or flat, blonde hair is crucial. It is the very first thing people use to find out who is a HSAB member and who isn't.

And if you don't have blonde hair? Well, you can either dye your hair and don't join. Your choice, you idiot.

Two: Are you hot and/or sexy?

Dark laugh, "what kind of question is that? Of course I'm hot and sexy."

"You're not even remotely sexy Mousy."

"Art, I'm thinking these two are taking this story to far,"

"Uh, yeah."

As the acronym suggests, we have to be hot and/or sexy in order to be in this HSHAB group. Otherwise it would just be the HAB group. And that isn't very much fun, now is it?

Also, if you're not sexy, then you're making me look bad. And when I look bad, I get angry. And you do not want to deal with an angry Krad (if you don't believe me, go and ask the stupid thief. He's at least smart enough to know danger when he sees it.).

"Wow, he sounds like Dark."

"Now that is an insult, Master Ibiki."

"You should be grateful you sound like me."

A small vein appeared on the chibi Kaito's head as she tried to smile; "Dark do you and Krad want to fight or do you both want a tub on your head this time?"

Ibiki nodded, "Not a bad threat, needs a bit of work through."

Three: Are you angelic-looking?

This one is easy enough to pull off so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you (and if you are worrying about it, I will hurt you.). Just wear white clothing or have white wings or both (if you're having a hard time becoming angelic-looking, refer to me as an example. But then again, if you need to refer to me, you are an idiot and not worth my time.)

Four: Are you homicidal?

Do you have those annoying hero-like urges where you just can't hurt anything, even if it's a stupid little fly? Are you afraid to go out hurt someone? Do you burst into tears when you see road kill? Do you get sick to your stomach whenever you see blood?

Krad paled at the remarked, "Even I'm not that evil."

A dark aura loom around the others "Sometimes I wonder." They muttered under their breath.

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, I would suggest another job should be at hand for you (just as long as it's not thieving).

Five: Do you hate thieves?

As we will dedicate our lives to hunting and killing thieves, I really hope that you don't love them. Thieves are evil. They steal things. They do bad stuff. (No, members of the HSHAB are not evil because we kill thieves for the good of mankind…We are mankind's fierce protectors—oh, who am I kidding? Yes, we're evil! Good god, are you so stupid that you had to think about that twice?)

Of course, hating and killing thieves is all well and good, but if you ever even think about hurting Dark, then I'll kill you. Dark is my thief. So hands off.

"Odd that Krad is protecting Dark."

"Art, that's not protecting, that's called obsession."

"For once, I'll agree with the brat."

"…"

Six: Do you like anonymity?

Face it; unlike Dark or any big-shot thieves, you're not going to be on television. Your picture won't be printed in the newspaper, not even the local ones. We HSHAB members pride themselves on secrecy and anonymity. We'll never have fangirls or fanboys chasing after us because they saw us in the late evening news, nor will we have housewives everywhere sighing over our good looks. We. Don't. Do. Publicity.

Seven: Are you the brightest crayon in the box?

Hopefully you have a quick and an analytical mind. Do you have to ask Dark questions about me so you don't make me angry? While I appreciate you trying to please me…You should be smart enough to realize what I like and what I don't like. (i.e. I don't like thieves. I like the color white.) And don't think you can go and sneak off to ask Dark a question. I will find out. I might not find out from you, but I will find out from Dark. (What, do you think we try to kill each other every day? I'll let you in on a secret: On Wednesdays we meet at a local café and talk over tea and biscuits on the meaning of life…and what idiocies Dark's thieves-in-trainings are and my HSHAB-in-training members are.)

Eight: Do you want to usurp people of their positions of power?

More specifically, do you like usurping me out of my position of power? If you do…Then, please stand off to the side right now. Those who don't want to usurp me of my power, please stand next to me.

I like you people who want to usurp people of their positions of power. It tells me that you're ambitious, a little power-hungry, and that you've got guts. You need all of these in order to become a good member of the HSHAB corporation. However, this all changes when the person you want to usurp happens to be a HSHAB member named Krad. When you try to take over my position of power…Well…I'll just show you how scary I can get.

And to those who don't want to usurp power from me: let this be a valuable lesson. Do not usurp my power or I'll be mad and you'll be dead.

So, what did you learn from all of this? Hopefully you learned that thieves are stupid, HSHAB members are good, and to piss me off is a sure way to die a slow and painful death.

"Oh, believe me, I'm dying and it too painful to bear." Dark said sarcastically.

"Well maybe I should go any make your death a little quicker." Krad answered holding a white feather to Dark's throat.

In the same speed Dark is able to pull a black feather to Krad's neck, "I wouldn't try that if were you."

"Well it's a good thing to that you aren't." Right when he was about to slash, Ibiki grabbed his hand." "Krad, that's enough."

Artemis slowly began to reach for Dark's feather, "C'mon Dark lets end this."

"Sorry," they breath before push the two away, "But is something we ignore." the two angels begin to draw into a fierce battle.

'Damn-it, these two are going to destroy the house.' Ibiki growled as he reached into his pocket to pull out a snow white feather. 'I have to knock Krad out before something stupid happen.'

Artemis pulled out a small black feather, 'I have to end this before this get ugly.' Alight aura surrounded the feathers. "By the powers of angels and all holy spirits that rule magic." They chanted, "Help us tame the rage that lingers within the beings of the Koku Yoku." "Right now." With a flick of the wriest, they tossed the glowing feathers at the battling entities. In a brief second the angels separated unknowing of the charmed feathers. In horror Artemis and Ibiki realized that their spell wasn't aim at the angels in was heading for the computer they were blocking.

"DARK!"

"KRAD!"

Before they could react a blinding wave of energy surrounded the entire room.

As it began to dim Dark and Krad rubbed their eyes trying to adjust their vision. "What was that?" Krad asked then notice that children were nowhere to be seen. "Master Ibiki? Little Niwa?"

"Arty? Brat? Where are you?" Dark called out, looking around till he noticed the computer. The screen was shattered and the little feathers began to disappear."Krad?"

"Yeah?"

"This is going be hard to explain to Gin." (4)

---

An: Ok! That it for Chapter two and for those who seen the numbers.

1) Basically once every new, half and full moon Dark and Krad are able to take a form without a tamer. Beyond that unless they are summoned they're stuck in a form of a doll with no powers. Ironically enough Art and Ibiki are their new tamers, (another cookie 4 those who already figured it out.)

If you guess this was a real fanfic with a real author the Congrats! If you were wrong then read back to the beginning.

3)Muraki and Tsuzuki are characters of Descendants of Darkness while Sasuke and Orochimaru are from Naruto.

4) Whose Gin? Well you'll find out next time…

KhonYu: Well that it for now.

Thanks for reading.

Dark/Krad: WHERE ARE OUR TAMERS!?!?

KhonYu: oh, you'll find out, I have BIG plans for those to. Laughs evilly

Dark: I think she's crazier then you Krad.

Krad: (shivers) For once I agree.