Author's Notes: Despite what you guys might be thinking, this is NOT a yaoi or shounen ai story. Please let me explain okay? As I mentioned earlier, I think Yugi was a lot more upset than he let on. There's no way I'm buying the whole, "Goodbye Pharaoh" line and then Atem just goes back to the after-life. As far as I'm concerned, it had to have taken Yugi some time to adjust to life without the Pharaoh around. I also think Yugi isn't afraid of showing his feelings to people. So when he made the comments about being broken hearted and how Atem took his heart, he was implying that he's not whole anymore. He was not admitting that he was in love with Atem! Sorry but I don't believe anyone from Yu Gi Oh was gay. I admit I had my moments where I wondered about Pegasus but then we found out he was straight. So if you were looking for a fluffy, sappy and mushy Yami/Yugi story then you've got the wrong story. This time around, I'm going to focus on Atem's feelings. It was hard writing this story because I ended up getting too attached again. I really did try to get inside both Yugi and Atem's heads without making them too out of character. But if I failed to keep them in character then I take full blame and responsibility for that slip up. Without further ado, please enjoy my story and constructive criticism are welcomed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh or anything else associated with Yu Gi Oh.
I almost wish he had beaten me. The haunted look in his eyes when he realized that I would be leaving forever… The way his lips trembled as tears began to fill his eyes… It was too painful to watch but I no longer had any right to tamper with his life. I had done enough damage to him as well as his friends.
I could feel his silent, desperate pleas but I couldn't turn back now. After everything that happened, I could not stay in this world. I had to depart to the afterlife, whether I liked it or not. I had to leave him. It was for the best and yet my heart still broke as I walked through that door.
I could feel his soul and heart crying out for me, begging me not to go. If things had been different, I would have never left his side. I would have stayed with him for as long as possible.
He would have never shed those tears and he would have never known such agony and pain. Even now, I can feel him slowly slipping away from his loved ones. He doesn't care anymore…
He thinks I never cared for him but in truth, he meant the world to me. I would have given anything just to stay with him. I wanted to be able to watch over him as he grew and learned more about himself. I wanted to be the one he ran to when things got too hard for him. I wanted him to be able to depend on me but I could not stay with him.
My place was in the afterlife but why had our paths crossed if it meant that we were to be torn away from one another so easily? I would never be able to rest in peace easily, knowing that he was suffering. How could I ever be happy knowing that he was unknowingly trying to join me?
He was getting thin, the haunted look in his eyes hadn't left yet and he was hardly sleeping. Yet I'm stuck here and can no longer comfort him or soothe his troubled mind. I can no longer guide him through his darkest hours nor can I dry his tears.
He'll never know just how much it pained me to leave him behind… Just how much it hurt knowing that I would never see him again. I would never be able to see his eyes brighten again when presented with a new game or puzzle. I would never be able to see his smile again either.
If only I could rid myself of this pain in my chest…
My heart aches for him because I know he deserves so much better. He shouldn't be wasting away while he waits for my return. Fate has already decreed that our paths will never twine again yet I would do anything in my power to return to him.
Perhaps not in this lifetime but somehow, someway, no matter how long it took, I would find him again.
