"Hey! I'm Roxas."
"I'm Axel."
The camera made a 180 to look at Xion. "And I'm Xion."
"Got it memorized?" Axel asked once the camera was back on him and Roxas. He leaned against the wall nonchalant as always while Roxas sat crossed-legged on his bed.
"Welcome to The Daily Life of Organization XIII," Roxas said. "For this week's show we have a lot of fun things in store."
"For one thing, I got to pick one of the segments this week," Axel said.
Roxas pointed out, "Well no one really got to pick out the segments last week. Demyx sort of just did his segment and you and Xion started fighting at the end."
"That's because Axel interrupted my segment-"
"Look, there's no point dwelling on what's past alright?" Axel stated. "Besides, we said we weren't going to do 'Xion's Fact of the Week' before we started."
"No, we said the segments weren't finalized," Xion said from behind the camera. "No one said anything about cutting my segment."
"Guys…" Roxas began cautiously.
"I already apologized!"
"But you didn't mean it!"
"Anyway!" Roxas shouted. "Let's get started. For our first segment we have a very special guest here with us today-"
"He's not all that great," Axel mumbled.
"Marluxia, you can come in now!" Xion shouted out the door as she moved to catch his entrance on camera.
Marluxia stepped into the room daintily, wrinkling his nose in distaste of nothing in particular since all the rooms in the Organization all looked the same, then sighed dramatically. "And where, may I ask, am I supposed to sit?"
Axel grumbled something unpleasant before exiting the room to go get a chair.
Xion cleared her throat. "So Marluxia, what brings you to our show today?"
"I was told there'd be an opportunity to advertise some T-shirts Larxene and I have been working on. Zexion won't let me place an ad on his blog so I came to you three instead, and my, haven't you gotten more talkative lately Xion?"
Xion said nothing so Roxas jumped in. "Stop studying Xion! Marluxia, what kind of T-shirts did you want to sell? I mean, do you have any samples or anything?"
"Certainly," Marluxia unzipped his Organization cloak, revealing a pair of neon pink skinny jeans and a white T-shirt with the words DOWN WITH XEMNAS printed in baby pink rhinestones.
Xion giggled.
Axel walked in at that moment toting a massive white recliner from the mission room which he promptly dropped on his foot. "OW! Ow, ow, ow, ohmygosh, ow! What in Kingdom Hearts is going on here?!"
"These are also available in hot pink, baby blue, navy blue, purple, red- you'll like that Axel, yellow, orange, green, forest green, silver, and black. Available while supplies last, of course, so I'd order quickly if I were you-"
"NO!" Axel grabbed the camera from Xion.
"Hey!"
"No way, definitely not! Are you trying to get us all killed?!"Axel zoomed in on Marluxia's face to cut out the outrageous shirt.
"Of course not, but it is very difficult to stage an uprising with no support, financial or otherwise. Besides I was promised time to advertise-"
"Which you got! Roxas, ask the man some questions so we can get his psycho butt out of here. And Marluxia, zip up the robe!"
Marluxia did so and Axel tossed the camera back to Xion so he could finish moving the chair. Xion zoomed out once everything was situated: Marluxia sitting comfortably and ladylike in the plush chair, Axel leaning sullenly against the wall, and Roxas fidgeting at the edge of the bed.
"Okay, first question," Roxas pulled out a short deck of note cards. "Where are you from?"
"Radiant Garden, duh," Marluxia yawned tiredly.
"Um, next question then. What is your favorite food?"
"Salad. Also duh."
Roxas gritted his teeth and switched to a new notecard. He hesitated. "Are you a man or a woman?"
Xion stifled a laugh and Axel outright snorted. Marluxia looked scandalized. "Excuse me?!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't write these questions!"
"PWND!" Axel said and cracked up! "Ohmygosh we need to start keeping a tally or something!"
"I'm leaving now," Marluxia said and stood.
"No, wait Marluxia! We're sorry! I have more questions!" Roxas said.
Marluxia sighed and reclaimed his seat. "Of course you do. Fine, but no more of this nonsense."
"Okay," Roxas agreed and read from the next card, "What is your favorite type of flower?"
"Oh I love all flowers," Marluxia began then stopped to glare at Axel for scoffing, "But I especially love pink roses. I use them in battle you know. They are a beautiful but vicious flower, much like me I like to think."
Axel buried his face in his arm and began to shake with suppressed laughter.
"Right," Roxas said, looking over towards Axel with concern. "Next question: Was your Somebody a woman- oh."
Marluxia looked furious. "That is it! I will not tolerate this ridiculousness any further!" He stood and stomped out.
Axel erupted into uncontrollable laughter. "I couldn't breathe! That was too great! We need to get him back on here sometime, Marluxia PWND count: 2!"
"I didn't like him being on the show very much," Xion said. "Besides, ambushing him with those questions was kind of mean Axel."
"Me?" Axel asked seriously. "I didn't write them."
"Neither did I," Roxas said.
"What?" Xion asked, surprised. "Then who did?"
"Who else but the master of all awesome-ness himself? Demyx!" Xion turned to face the doorway where Demyx stood, hands on hips and grinning.
"How-?" Roxas asked.
"You're welcome by the way," Demyx continued. "That was way better than any regular old interview."
"He's got that right," Axel agreed. "Okay, now onto my segment."
"Whoa, whoa what? What happened to Demyx's musical minute of magic and awesome and sitar?" Demyx whined.
"Last time you took up a bunch of our time with Demyx's musical minute of all that stuff. Besides, I think you're going to like this one. Remember how when we first moved into the castle we drew straws to see who got the room with the AC control in it?"
"No."
"Okay, well that's been all I've been able to think about ever since stupid Vexen won and now it's always cold all that time…"
"Oh yeah!" Demyx remembered.
"So that's why," Roxas mumbled.
"Yeah. Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to add a sort of prank/ revenge segment to the show where we got other members back for stuff like that. I even made this fun wheel for when we can't decide on a worthy victim." At this point Axel unveiled a large Wheel of Fortune-based wheel with all the members photos printed on it.
"You've put a lot of thought into this haven't you?" Asked Demyx. "Much more effort than I would've."
"How long has that been there?" Asked Xion.
"Is that thing going to be staying in my room?!" Asked Roxas.
"Yes, the whole show, and definitely. Now, I'd spin it but I already rigged Vexen's room/ lab for ultimate revenge so there's really no point. Moogle! Roll the live feed!"
"Kupo!" Was heard from a distance away when a screen and projector dropped down out of Roxas's ceiling.
"What did you do to my room?!" Roxas yelled.
"Shh! It's on!"
Vexen could be seen on screen examining the labels of many different vials and potions. He grabbed a few off a shelf and set them aside before grabbing a packet of powder from another shelf.
"That's Vexen's room?" Xion asked. "Where does he sleep?"
"Who cares?" Demyx said, thoroughly entertained. Keep watching.
Vexen began to shake a little bit of powder into the bottom of an empty beaker, then stopped to grab and pour the contents of two vials into the beaker at the same time. They all tensed in anticipation, but nothing happened.
"Wha-?"
BOOM! The whole castle shook and they heard the sound not from the camera, but from downstairs. Vexen began jumping up and down trying to put out the fire in his lab by throwing a mixture of certain chemicals onto the flames, but it only made it worse. Vexen read the label in obvious confusion and shock before squeaking and rushing to try something else.
Axel was laughing maniacally. "Nothing's going to work, I switched ALL the labels."
"That's so mean!" Xion said, still glued to the screen.
At that moment Vexen seemed to catch on because he muttered, "Axel," before rushing out of his lab.
"Uh oh."
"Axel!" Vexen came rushing in like a banshee. "What did you do to my precious lab?! You horrible excuse for a Nobody! I ought to turn you and your little friends into ice sculptures, then send you to the surface of the sun!" At that point Vexen noticed the projector screen. "Vile beasts! You destroy my lab for humor do you? We'll see how funny you think you are once I tell Xemnas about this little 'show' of yours!" He was about to storm out when he noticed Demyx crouched down on the floor. Vexen grabbed him by the ear.
"Ow! Hey!"
"I require your water-based assistance in my lab. Come along, hurry!" The two of them then rushed off with Demyx screaming the whole way.
Moogle cut off the live feed.
"Well," Axel began, "That was unexpected."
"Uh-huh." Roxas nodded.
"We are so getting cancelled."
So... how was chapter two? It's challenging maintaining the characters' voices enough for this all to sound plausible but distort them enough for this to be humorous. :P Anyway, please review! I posted this chapter extremely early because I felt like chapter one was sort of a rip off and because I'm sick anyway so what else am I going to do? Hope you liked it! :) Keep reading for more ridiculousness to come! Xion, Axel, and Roxas may just pay a visit to little ol' Zexion sometime in the next episode. (Maybe)
