Ok

DISCLAIMER: FIRE EMBLEM IS NOT MINE...YET! YOU JUST WAIT TILL MY CORPERATE TAKE OVER OF THE WORLD! THEN ALL WILL BE MINE! WAHAHAHA!

ok on to the story!

"Talking"

"Thinking"

"Mani Katti Talking"


So after killing everything in sight, Lyn and new brand new shiny sword skipped merrily along the Yellow Bri— err….yellow road. And suddenly, a rune on the ground flashed, and in a cloud of purple smoke, appeared a man in black with a turban covering one eye.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeehehehehe! Fear me! I am the Dark Druid of the Southeast! Negral!"

"O…k…"

"I have reports that you slew my dark minion of the West!" screeched Negral, "And now you shall pay!"

"NOT SO FAST!" Thundered a voice, followed by a body… a really, really, really old body. "Are you alright my dear?" he asked Lyn.

"And you are…?"

"Me? Why I am none other than the might Fairy of the Southwest! The good Fairy Athos!" he proclaimed grandly.

"You senile old bastard! You're the ARCHSAGE from the Southwest!" shrieked the Druid.

"Yes…well…I wanna be a fairy…" mumbled the Archsage.

"Oh screw this! You've ruined my dramatic scene, so there's no point in staying!" proclaimed Negral in a nasal voice, "But I'll get you yet, my pretty, and that cool sword too!"

"Hey!" protested Lyn, "I am not 'pretty' I'm 'sex goddess'!"

"And I'm not cool…I'm sexy" murmured the sword.

"Is that so?" Negral squinted. "It is! My apologies! Ahem, I'll get you yet, my sex goddess, and that sexy sword too! Yeeakakakaka!" cackled Negral as he disappeared into more purple smoke.

"My dear girl," said Athos, putting his hands on her shoulders, "Negral is quite insane, you must be careful! Now, the only way for you to return home is to go ask the mighty Wizard of Etruia, Pent"

"Right…I'll get on that…"

"The way to him is to follow the yellow…road." Continued Athos as his hands slowly slid down from Lyn's shoulders.

"Uh huh…got it!" said Lyn brightly while stabbing the Fairy…Archsage in the foot.

"OH JEEZUS H. CHRIST! WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" howled the injured Athos as he rolled on the ground.

"Hmm… lemme think about that…oh yea! CUZ YOU'RE A FUCKING PERVERT!" said Lyn, kicking him for good measure.

"You shoulda let me eat his sssoul" murmured the Mani Katti to Lyn as they walked away from the slowly dying Archsage.

"I would've, but the author plans on him coming back later on." Said Lyn as they strode on.

Soon they came to a fork in the road.

"So…which way do we go?" asked Lyn to no one in particular.

"Why, to get to the place you want to go, you must go 5 panels up, 3 right, 2 left, another one right, and then 5 down!" said a voice.

"Huh? Who's there?" asked Lyn whirling around.

"Or you could go 5 down, 3 left, 2 right, another one left, and then 5 up!" continued the voice, "Either one is equally feasible!"

"Where the fuck are you?" asked Lyn, still twirling around trying to spot the owner of the voice.

"Why, I'm right here!" shouted a man in a green coat, popping out of a convenient hole right under Lyn.

"Name's, Mark, Master Tactician, I've been stalking you since you landed from your dragon, and after your conversation with Athos, I circled around and hid in this hole so I could peek at your panties…only to find out that you go commando!" he said brightly.

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT! I'LL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES!" shrieked Lyn, lunging at the unfortunate Tactician.

Later…

"Owww…" complained a thoroughly beaten tactician.

"Hmph! You deserved it!" said Lyn, still sulking about the free peek show Mark had gotten.

"You kept saying 'don't kill me, I can be useful on your quest!' when I was beating you into a bloody mess…exactly what quest am I on?" inquired Lyn.

"Why, your quest to see the Wizard of Etruia!" exclaimed Mark, "There's bound to be bandits and stoof, and I can get you through no problem with my amazing strategies! 'Sides, I really need to see the Wizard."

"Why do you need to see the Wizard?" asked Lyn, a bit curious.

"Oh, 'Cuz I don't have a brain." Said Mark while contently munching on a banana.

"You…Don't…Have…A…Brain…" growled Lyn through her teeth at the blissfully unaware Tactician, "And you were planning to make strategies for OUR SURVIVAL?" Lyn yelled at him.

"Yep (munch munch) that's the idea (munch)".

"Say, Mani…"

"Yessss?"

"In Sacae slavery was allowed…is it still allowed here?"

"Oh yesss…" hissed the sword gleefully, catching on to what Lyn was thinking, "You could make quite a tidy sum selling a 'master tactician' …especially if you leave out some…minor details"

"Such as the fact that he doesn't have a brain?" asked Lyn wryly.

"Exsssactly."

"Very well, MARK!" shouted Lyn.

"Yes?"

"You're coming with us."

"OH JOY!" shouted Mark, jumping up and down.

So they continued down the yellow road, with Mark singing the most ridiculous song Lyn had ever heard."We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful, and I'm sure, quite sexy, Wizard of Etruia! We're off to get me a braiiiin! Lyn doesn't wear anything under her dreeeeeesss!" sang the Tactician horribly out of tune. As Lyn's fingers slowly inched their way down to the Mani Katti, she gritted her teeth and repeated in her head, "Think of the money we can make, think of the money we can make, think of the money..."

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