Chapter Two. The wall around her heart.

I'm sorry it took so long, but I was on camp for a week. I did write there, but I couldn't upload my story. So here is the next chapter.

"Wait what? You kicked her out?" Kate asked, a little happy but not letting him notice and still a little in shock about what she saw in Rick's eyes. She was always good in reading people, and with him, it was even easier, well most of the time, but not always. "Yeah. And you know what? It felt right!" he smiled, "but, now she thinks I did it because it's true…" he said expecting her to be mad. Kate just had to laugh, "well that's not so good, I guess. You know, for the press." Now he had to laugh to, "I think Paula would kill Gina if she spread something like that."

"Don't you think she'll like it? I mean, she's always pushing you for more publicity…" she asked a little more serious than before. "Don't worry about that. If Gina leaks it, I will make sure Paula stops it." He insured her, "I know you don't want me to ruin your reputation." He said with a smirk on his face. "I just don't want to tell a lie." She said a lot more serious than before. "Don't worry, I won't let it hit the papers even if it is a lie. I don't need more drama right now."

"Yeah, me neither." Was Kate's only answer to that.

"So now your turn, How are you doing? Same as every year or, is it better?" he asked, back to serious and concerned. "Same." She sighed and put a hand through her hair, "it's always the same…"

"Hey, one day, it will be alright. Maybe not soon, but I'll be there with you." He said as he sat next to her. She met his gaze, she saw concern, fear and… love. She saw love! She looked back at her knees, because she knew he was good at reading people to. She was afraid that he might see that same love with her. And what he saw in her eyes was fear, sorrow and… indeed, love. She had love written in her eyes, but was it for him, or for her mother? He was hoping him, but he could just wish it was like that because on this day, you couldn't trust any emotion that Kate had. You never knew if it was for a case, her mother, or in this case him.

"I should go," she broke the silence with a sigh and stood up, "finish my paperwork."

"Yeah" Castle answered not really sure about what he should think about this new emotion he saw in her eyes, and if he maybe should do anything with it.

Kate was finished with her paperwork and she hadn't had any new cases, so there was nothing he could do but stare at her doing paperwork. She had found it creepy at first, but now, she liked it. At this moment she just wanted to think about what he said. He kicked her out, because she thought they were having an affair. So, did he do it because he didn't like that idea, or because he did? And she, for the first time in a year, whished that he would go home. Because she was afraid that if he didn't, she wouldn't be able to control herself and just pull him into the break room, close the blinds and pull is lips to hers. But she couldn't. not yet anyway. She needed to know if he loved her back.

Castle's phone started to ring and mess up her thoughts, since it was laying on her desk, she couldn't help but glimpse at the caller ID. Of course, Gina! She had interrupted her when she was about to confess her love for him, and now. And she made it so easy to hate her.

He denied the call. "Don't you think you two should talk about this?" she said as much as she hated it. "No, I don't. She blamed me for something so ridicules as you and me, together? And she was convinced it was true! If she can't trust me that I'm not a cheater, she doesn't get my attention." He said a little, no, a lot annoyed.

So ridicules as you and me, the line repeated into her head a thousand times. She felt a pain in her heart. So there was her answer, he thought that the thought of them being together was ridicules. How could she even think that he would love her back? How could I be so stupid! She stated to herself. She was not only broken, but also mad. "Well, if you think it's ridicules! Why do you care?" without thinking about it she spitted out her words, not even trying to hide the anger and hurt in her voice, pushed her chair back and walked into the break room needing to get away from him. He was the only person in the world that would make her this mad and heartbroken at the same time.

Her exit didn't go unnoticed by the boys. Espo immediately shot him a What-Did-You-Do look before he walked over and asked, while Ryan went after Kate.

"Nothing! I swear!" Rick said in defense. "I don't…" he started but Espo interrupted him, "you know you are the only person that can make her emotions turn this fast right? The one moment she's just doing her job, happy, the next she's clearly mad!" Castle opened his mouth but didn't know what to have as a response to that as her words wondered around in his head. "Well, if you think it's ridicules! Why do you care?" what did he say was ridicules again? Oh God… he thought as he remembered overreacting. But why is she so touched by that? He remembered him being in love with her, but then she was with Tom Demming, and now that he thought about it, he never really knew what happened to him. Yeah, they broke up, but when? Why? And then he remembered the night he showed up at the 12th with Gina. She seemed so happy, she made jokes, but when she saw Gina, that all shifted. He didn't know until he had looked back at her after he said "See you in the fall" and almost turned around the corner. Her body language had changed so fast. And then, as the memory ran through his head she remembered her head looking down at the floor like she was embraced, or… defeated, and if he remembered correctly, he saw tears... When he had left then, she had felt defeated, and cried, but why?

"Are you okay Beckett?" Ryan asked. While he saw her leaning against the counter, head down. Not good. He thought. "Nothing, Ryan. Just leave it." She said as she held her hand through her hair. "What did he do, Kate? I've never seen you like this before. And we both know, since 3 months ago, he's the only guy that can get you like this!" Ryan knew she wasn't okay. Kate sighed, how was it that he broke that wall down so fast? And now that wall would have to come back, ASAP! The guy she loved basically told her the idea of them, together was ridicules. So she promised herself, right there in that moment that she wouldn't let herself brake down ever again. She knew now that the wall had to be there to protect herself.

When she finally had found her words she answered: "I'll be fine Kevin. Castle just said something I didn't want to hear. That's all." Ryan opened his mouth to say something but Kate took her coffee cup and walked out of the break room. Not forgetting the promise she made to herself.

Kate walked back to her desk. Watching Kate walk out of the break room, Espo left Castle and walked over to Ryan in the break room. "You okay?" Espo asked when he passed by Kate. She just nodded and met his gaze for just a second to convince him, and brought it back to Castle who was looking at her. As soon as she reached her desk Rick spilled the question, wanting to be sure that his thoughts were correct, That she was in love with him. "Beckett, What did I do?"

"Nothing Castle, just getting some coffee. And sorry for before. Just a little stressed." She tried to sound casual.

"Kate?" he put his hand on her arm that was reaching for the coffee cup, "What did I do wrong?" he didn't like it that she was pretending nothing happened. Kate turned to him, "Rick" she started, and by the tone in her voice, he pulled his hand back, "leave it!" she kind of scared him with how she was acting. The caring Kate had disappeared and now Beckett, the one without jokes, the Beckett with the wall around her heart, had come back.

"Now I'm going to do paperwork, nothing for you to do here. So go home!" the anger in her voice was clear. She did want to know why he thought they were ridicules together, but for now, she had enough.

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