"Senpai, can I borrow you for a while?"

And there it is. The hook that carries the bait. Well, I'd already known Isshiki wouldn't have just show up at the club in her free time for any reason other than to crack the proverbial whip. She'd played out the courtesies rather well today, bringing sweets and even asking how my day was. But the entire time, I knew she had ulterior motives. Isshiki's just that kind of person.

Well, not that I mind. It's oddly fulfilling to do things for her.

"What for?"

She grins that sly grin of hers. "Nothing much. Just some errands."

Do I look like a hired goon to you? "Hmm. Thanks, but I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you."

"Eh!? Why not?"

"Because I don't want to." I drawl.

She then utilizes her secret weapon. Tilting her head forwards, she looks up at me and brings her hands together in front of her body.

"Senpai, I just want to spend some time with you."

As she does this, sparkles seem to appear in the atmosphere. Truly, it's a frightening weapon that's been perfected through countless trial and error. Targeting the inner protective instincts of any man, she manipulates these instincts to her own whims. It's simple. It's effective. It's cute. It's scary.

It's not gonna work. "Yeah, but I'd rather stay here, you know?"

Sorry Isshiki, but you've been abusing your power just a little too often, you knooooow. I've developed an immunity to your false charms.

She groans loudly in dissatisfaction.

"Arrgh! Please, Senpai!"

Nope.

"I don't feel like being a lackey today. Sorry."

"I just need some supplies moved into the gym. I'll buy you that drink you like if you come with me."

Whoa. An actual bribe? That's new.

"...MAXX Coffee?"

"Yep! It's an easy job, too. I just need a guy's strength."

I cast my gaze over to my club members, as if checking with them for confirmation.

"Will you be needing our assistance as well, Isshiki-san?" Yukinoshita casually offers her hand, as well as Yuigahama's.

"Um, that's okay, Yukino-senpai. It's only grunt work, which is why I asked Senpai."

There was something irritating about the way she phrased that, but I'm going to ignore it because I'm a nice person.

"You sure?" Yuigahama asks. It's obvious Isshiki wouldn't change her mind that easily. The question itself is just a courtesy, false kindness from a nice person.

"No thanks, it's fine. Besides, I only have enough on me for one bribe."

Yuigahama shrugs. "Alright then, see you later."

Isshiki smiles. "Bye Senpais. Thanks for letting me borrow this." She gestures to me.

What am I, some sort of tool? Is that all I'm worth to you?

"Of course. Don't be in a hurry to return it." Yukinoshita makes another one of her rude quips.

I try not to let it bother me as we leave to go and do Isshiki's work.


We're strolling through the school hallways to do more menial chores for the student council. It's a feeling I've become familiar with since Isshiki became president of the student council. Come to think of it, did the student council always require this much grunt work? The only time I've seen a student council needing this much muscle was in a battle manga. Why is there more work now that Isshiki's in charge? Is there some sort of system we're not correctly utilizing?

"Hey Senpai. I heard Tobe-senpai got a new girlfriend." Isshiki breaks the silence that I didn't realize I was enjoying.

"Ah, yeah. I know." I reply offhandedly.

"I know you know, Senpai. Tobe-senpai told me all about what you did."

Ugh, that's annoying. I know I shouldn't let myself be bothered by the nonsense that guy likes to yap about, but when it comes back to me I can't help but feel just a little irritated.

"Well then, you heard a false version of events if you heard it from him. I really didn't do anything."

"Hmm, I should have figured. It makes a lot more sense that you were no help at all in the end." Isshiki giggles to herself.

If that's what you believe, why are you always dragging me around like a carcass and throwing me at your menial problems?

"Ah, Hikigaya!"

I stop walking immediately. I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Hiratsuka-sensei flags me down while we're in the walkway between buildings. She walks briskly over to us, briefly increasing her pace to a light jog for a couple of seconds. It makes her breasts jiggle, though I'd never let anyone know I noticed that.

"Hi Sensei."

"Hikigaya, I'm glad I caught you." She notices Isshiki standing next to me. "Oh, hi there Isshiki. Making good use of school utilities, I see."

Isshiki laughs at the obnoxious joke. I'd like to reiterate that I am a human with rights.

Ah, whatever. I should be used to it by now. At the very least, I'm stoic enough to hide how annoyed I am.

"Anyway, Hikigaya. I need to talk to you about something later. Can I come get you after club?"

This cannot be good.

"What for?"

She feigns offense. "I just want to talk to you. Is that a crime now?"

I sigh. "Fine."

She grins. It's not a malicious grin like Haruno, and not a sly grin like Isshiki. It's just a toothy grin expressing satisfaction.

"That's a good boy!"

I frown. I'm not a dog, Sensei. Actually, maybe that's what you need in your life. A pet. Someone you can bother as much as you want and they have no choice but to endure. We both know there aren't any humans who would tolerate you for long periods of time.

"Anything else, Sensei?" I try not to roll my eyes. There may be a witness present but knowing her she might still physically abuse me.

"Nope. I'll let you get back to your little date." This time, her grin is less like her own and more like Haruno's. For some reason, I don't like the thought of that.

Actually, that joke was not at all appropriate for a teacher to make to her students. What the hell is wrong with you?

I quickly glance over to Isshiki. She happens to look at me at the same time. We quickly break eye contact. "It's really not like that."

Sensei laughs with a closed mouth. It's not like the airy, fake laughs I hear on a daily basis. It sounds mature. It's almost comforting.

"I'm just teasing. It's nice to be young."

I know I shouldn't say it, but with the mood she set, I just can't resist.

"Oh? You still remember that far back?"

Huak!

Oh wow, her strength has improved since last time. Well, it's been quite a while since I've taken a good one right in the gut.

Isshiki, probably not expecting that, gasps in surprise. "Sensei!?"

"Ah, it's fine. Me and Hikigaya are close, see?" She throws an arm over my shoulder. Get off me, demon.

"Sensei, that's abuse!" Isshiki doesn't seem at all amused by the sudden display of violence.

I hold an open hand up to her, as if telling to stop. "It's fine, Isshiki. Don't-*cough*, don't mind it."

I set myself up for that one anyway.

Throwing her arm off of my shoulder, I step towards Isshiki. "Don't worry about me, Isshiki. I can take it."

I try my best to brush it off. I vaguely understand that this might actually be a big deal. If Isshiki decides to report this later, Sensei could be in huge trouble. Even though she probably deserves it, I wouldn't want to see her go.

"Senpai, are you sure?" Isshiki seems concerned.

I repress the urge to groan in pain. "Yeah. Like I said, no problem." I look at Sensei with prompting eyes, as if to say 'back me up here, idiot'.

She does exactly that. "Yeah, I wouldn't do it if he couldn't take it, Isshiki. So um, please don't tell anyone you saw that."

Oh, it seems like she realized the potential danger of her recklessness. That's good, her senile brain still understands the concept of consequences.

"Well... if Senpai says so..." Isshiki mutters unsurely.

"Right. So anyway, I'll be seeing you, Hikigaya." Sensei wisely decides to take her leave.

"Alright." I reply stiffly. My gut still hurts and I kind of want to keel over. I think she might have done some damage.

"Um, bye Sensei!"

"Bye Isshiki!" With that, Sensei walks off.

I start walking again, and Isshiki, still stationary for a moment longer, skips up to me to catch up.

"You sure you're okay, Senpai?" Seems like she's still worried about it. Makes sense, that really wasn't acceptable behavior for a teacher.

"Yeah. Like I said, it's no big deal. If I had a problem with it, I would have reported her myself."

"Okay..."


"Aaaand we're done!" Isshiki remarks triumphantly.

"Finally." I respond with... less enthusiasm.

It took a lot longer than we thought. Almost an hour, in fact.

"Thanks for your hard work, Senpai."

"Yeah, sure."

I check the time on my phone. It's nearly 5 o'clock. Oh, I didn't even realize I got a message at some point. I open it. It's from Yuigahama.

[me n yukinon went home coz u took forevr! sorry]

Oh. Well that's kind of lame. I guess it's fine, though. Most likely we didn't get any requests again, and if it's just those two then there's no reason not to go back to Yukinoshita's apartment and do yuri stuff. I mean girly stuff.

"Looks like club is over already." I mutter.

"Oh? Then do you want that drink now?"

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Since I'd become resistant to Isshiki's base charms, she had to resort to petty bribery.

Ah, but I don't really feel like it.

"Don't worry about it."

"Eh? Are you sure?" Isshiki wasn't expecting that sort of response. She thinks I'm the kind of person who won't help out without a personal motive. Really, it's almost hurtful how little she thinks of me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just gonna head off."

"Uh... okay. See you tomorrow, then. Or something." Wait, you've already got more work planned for me?

"Yeah, see ya."

With that, I take my leave. Since club 'activities' were wrapped up early today, next on my agenda is seeing what Sensei wants.

Since she's probably not expecting me yet, I should message her.

[Club finished early, I'm done with Isshiki. You wanna meet now?]

A simple message, I think. I rarely ever use my cellphone to contact others, so when I finally do, I never know what to say. I'm sure all my messages make this obvious to all my recipients. Well, whatever. It's nothing Sensei doesn't already know.

The response is instantaneous, which I appreciate because without an answer from her, I'd have no idea where to go or what to do with myself until she's ready to meet. I open the message.

[Good. You know where I park. Meet me in my car.]

A funny thought occurs to me. Her messages are usually completely free of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, which is impressive considering how long they can get sometimes. Maybe she's as unused to messaging as I am.

I head to the school parking lot, and I find Sensei's car in no time. Her sports car sticks out like a sore thumb. She never did tell me how she managed to get that thing on a teacher's salary. As I approach it, I notice Sensei hasn't spotted me by the time I get to the door. I suppose normal courtesy would be to knock on the window or something, but I did that the first couple of times I got into this car, and she would tell me not to bother with such formalities.

Sensei's smoking a cigarette with the windows up. Disgusting. As I open the door, she jumps in surprise a little.

"Shit, Hikigaya. You trying to kill me?" She says, obviously referring to the fright I gave her.

"Don't need to. You're doing it yourself with that thing in your mouth."

As if she forgot she was smoking, she crosses her eyes and looks down to see the cigarette still hanging out of her mouth.

"Oh, right."

"So... You going to put that thing out?"

"But I'm not finished with it." She answers innnocently.

Are you kidding me? I'm your student. No, more importantly, I'm a minor. No, more importantly, I'm a friggin' non-smoker!

"Well, can you at least wind your window down for me or something?"

"But I'm still on school property. Someone might see me smoking with a student in the car."

Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, Hiratsuka Shizuka. I give her the blankest stare I can possibly muster at the moment. She holds it for a moment, but then burst out laughing.

"I'm just kidding." She presses a button and the front door windows automatically wind down. She snuffs the cigarette in her ashtray.

"See? It's gone, you can breathe now."

To be honest, I'm not impressed with her attitude. Even if she was just joking, it was in poor taste. I'd never admit it, but Hiratsuka-sensei is something of a role model for me, so I don't like to see her smoke. Apart from that, I feel like she should find a lover before she engages in a habit that will eventually ruin her good looks.

"So, what was it you wanted me for?"

"Ah, yeah. You hungry?"

Hmm. Am I hungry? I passed up the opportunity for a free MAXX earlier, but that was only because I couldn't be bothered to go with Isshiki to the vending machine to collect it. But do I actually want something to fill my gut?

"Yeah, I could eat." Even if I weren't that hungry, free food is free food.

"Good. Let's go for a drive. I'll get you some chow, my treat." She winks at me as she says this.

So we take off. Man, it really feels nice to go for a ride in a car like this. Sitting on a train or a bus doesn't even compare.

We don't say much when the car is in motion. I'm not sure if there's a specific reason for that, but I don't particularly mind the silence. I doubt Sensei minds either considering she's the one driving. I'm not sure how much focus is required to operate a vehicle, but she certainly makes it look easy.

We pull up, and stop the car. Sensei gets out, and I follow. I look where we are, and we're in front of a rather unimpressive chinese takeaway shop.

"Chinese today?"

She faces me and raises an eyebrow. "You don't like chinese?"

"Ah, no I like chinese. It's just that we always have ramen."

She laughs a little. "I guess so. A change of pace is nice sometimes, though. Right?"

"Yeah, it is."

We enter the shop, and order our meals. It feels somewhat emasculating for Sensei to pay for my portion, but I cast aside my shame and accept the charity. We decide to eat at the tables, even though we have boxes that would allow us to eat in the car. Well, since it's not my car, it's not my choice to make.

"Thanks for the meal."

"Thanks for the meal."

We start eating. For a short while, we just eat quietly. I'm the one to break the silence.

"So, what's the purpose of all this?"

She begins to slurp the noodles up slower than she was just a moment ago, as if she were stalling.

I notice the telltale signs of her attempting to hide a cheesy grin.

"Hey, guess what?"

I roll my eyes. "What?"

She leans in, as if trying to tell me a secret. I unconsciously lean in as well.

"I have a boyfriend."

...

My eyes widen. I look at her incredulously.

She shows me the most massive grin I've ever seen on her face.

"Seriously?"

"Yup!" The pitch of her voice is so high that she almost squeals.

Wow. So it finally happened, huh?

"... Seriously?"

Her grin disappears, and she makes a deadpan expression.

"Hey, why is that so hard to believe?"

She's right. Why is it so hard to believe? If you think about it, she's really not a bad catch. Even without her beauty, she's wise, approachable, considerate, and she relates well to the tastes of men. It really was just a matter of time until someone realized her worth.

I guess her luck has just been so bad since I've known her, I never expected it to actually happen.

"That's... fantastic, Sensei." I think I still have the incredulous face on, but it can't be helped.

"Right?" Her grin and high pitched voice immediately return. Though I don't have the energy to share her enthusiasm, I really am happy for her.

"So," she continues, "can I tell you all about him?" Her face is now full of expectancy. I've never seen so much expression from her in such a short span of time.

She must really like him.

"Ah, please don't." I hold an open hand in front of myself.

"Oh c'mon. Please? You're the only one I've told."

That's... kind of sad. Don't you have adult friends you can confide in?

I sigh. "Look, I'm happy for you, I really am. But have you ever known me to gossip and squeal with you like we're a couple of middle school girls?"

She relents. "Fine. I just wanted to tell you."

She goes back to eating. I can't even think about food right now. My mind is still sort of blown.

She finishes her meal while I still have half a box of chinese food.

"Ah, that hit the spot. Hikigaya?"

I look up. "Yeah?"

"Sometimes, you just have to take a chance in love."

"Oh? Love is a pretty big word to be using already. Clingy much?"

She flicks her wrist. "Don't be silly. I'm not in love. It just feels like I'm too old to be using childish words like infatuation."

A lot of thoughts occur to me when she says that, but only one thing worth mentioning.

"Do you like him then?"

"Mm. I do."

That gives me something to think about. Hiratsuka-sensei, who's love life was even more unfortunate than mine, still found the courage to take her best shot. On the other hand, I can barely even admit to myself that I have those sort of feelings.

"Hey, Hikigaya."

"Yeah." My tone is noticeably unenthusiastic. I'm too lost in thought to care.

"You have someone you like?"

I rest my chin on my palm, and turn to look out the window. "I guess."

I flick my eyes back to Sensei. She smiles sadly, even somberly.

"I know it's scary, Hikigaya. You feel like it's better not to try, if it means facing the disappointment and hurt again."

I lift my chin off my hand and give her my full attention.

"How do you..."

"Oi, it's me we're talking about." She smiles at her awful joke. "Even I'm not invincible, you know."

No, I never thought you were invincible. Not even once. In fact, sometimes I feel like you're not particularly strong at all.

"It's not that simple Sensei."

"It never is."

"No, really." I unconsciously break eye contact. "She's... someone I can't approach."

"Why?"

"She's... it'd never work out. I'm just not in the position to be dating her."

"I see. But Hikigaya," She leans in. "if you can't pursue those feelings, you should at least lay them to rest."

"It's not even a matter of being rejected. Simply confessing has consequences, you know. And not just for me, either."

She seems to ponder my words for a moment.

"I see. Hikigaya?"

"Yeah?"

"I know who she is."

"What?"

No. Impossible. I was careful. I made every effort to ensure nobody would ever know.

She smirks. "Did you think you were being discreet? We don't talk as much as we used to, but I still noticed the changes."

I frown. "What changes?"

Her facial features soften. "You don't even realize, huh? The way you talk to her has changed since that time."

Wait, she might be bluffing.

"Since when, Sensei?"

Her smirk returns. "Since Hayama's birthday party."

Ugh, she knows. I can't help but look away. I don't have anything to say in response. I'm grateful she at least saved me the dignity of not saying the name, even though it's obvious she knows who it is.

"Tch. Whatever."

"Hey, come on. Don't be such a grouch. She's really not a bad choice, you know."

"It's not something people can choose."

"Mm. You're right about that."

A moment of silence comes between us.

She suddenly stretches her arms high in the air.

"I should get going. Come, I'll give you a ride home."

"No thanks. You've given me a lot to think about, and I'd like to take a walk."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She rises out of her seat.

"If you say so, Hikigaya. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye." I don't bother waving or facing her as she leaves.

"Oh, and Hikigaya?"

I sigh again. "Yes?"

"If you do decide to confess and it goes bad, I'll always be on your side okay?"

I look at her and she's staring straight at me with a face I haven't quite come to understand yet in my short life.

We make intense eye contact for a moment, until I become uncomfortable and break it.

She laughs in that mature way, and wordlessly leaves. I just sit there and watch her walk out the door and to her car. She turns around and we make eye contact. She waves energetically. I wave lazily.

I mull over the conversation we had. If I just come out and say it, will I be able to move on? I really don't want to. I feel like it would just be easier to let these feelings die of neglect.

Except I've been trying that for a while now. It hasn't worked. Whoever made up that lie about crushes lasting four months, change your damn career because you haven't got a freaking clue.

An absurd thought occurs to me. What if she accepted my confession? I mean, the chances are astronomical at best, but I suppose it's not the least possible thing in the world. But arguably, her accepting my confession would be the worst possible outcome. The service club would fall apart for sure. And then when our tragic romance has run it's short course, I'll be left alone again. In that case, should I warn her beforehand that I have no intention of dating her?

Hah, like I'd even need to. It would definitely just come off as a lame attempt to save face.

I decide I'm sick of thinking about this. I grab my now cold box of chinese food, and walk out the door. I don't have a destination in mind, I just stroll around town. I don't know how long I was wandering for, but the sun is almost gone when I spot someone, or rather, two people, down the road in front of me.

Oh no. Not her. After the conversation I just had, she is possibly last person I want to be talking to. I really don't need this kind of aggravation right now. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I wonder if I can just turn around and pretend to be a tree, and she won't see me. Nope, too late to try. She's already on the way over.

Enter, the grand master of facades. The tyrant queen herself.

Yukinoshita Haruno.

With Hayama Hayato in tow. That makes me even more unhappy.


Whoa guys! The responses were incredible! 30 reviews in like 6 hours, and then it's almost doubled since! And it's only been one chapter! Not only that, some of the reviews were pretty well thought out.

Well... that being said, your answers were all over the place. I think every girl with a name in the series was mentioned, and with that, yes... some people have guessed who the crush is. I'm also loving the cases you guys are making for your answers, too. The reasoning behind some of your guesses were so well thought out, too.

I wonder who's going to change their answer after this chapter.

Which reminds me, I won't address every review, but I'd like to point out something that avid reader said. Yes, by the clues left in chapter one, every female in the series has been eliminated, making the mystery impossible. This means one of two things. Either you can't trust the narrative, or there have been some background developments in this story you aren't aware of. Or both.

To the guest who made the comment about American otakus; I'm not American so...

Oh yeah. I use the term 'messaging' in regards to cell phone messages because I heard somewhere that Japanese don't actually text each other, but rather send mini-emails or something like that.

P.S: I have no idea if Hayama has a listed birthday. But I'm using his birthday as a plot device. It's already passed since before the start of the story, though.