(A/N) Ok, change of plans. Instead of doing a co-op fic persay, my partner and eye will be doing kind of a versus fic or what not. I'm honestly still confused on how it goes. We're both going to write the same story, however we'll be doing different takes on it. Mine will be 90% comedy 10% angst, her's will be the opposite. If you want to read her version, you can find it here: s/9159398/1/Mayday

Chapter 1 (alt)

Blurs and creeping shadow.
That's all Sephiroth could make out through the fog in his head as his eyes slowly opened, the lids heavy like someone had traded them for Angeal's gym weights . Gradually his perception of the world crawled back to the land of the living as his senses came back online. His first greeting was smudgy grey clouds of billowing smoke and roaring flames. Then it hit him.
Pain.
Pain, the kind that played merry hell with your mind while cheerfully screwing your nerves over. Unbidden, a strangled half-scream-half-gasp ripped itself from uncaring lips as his entire being was flooded in pure, white hot agony. Reflex and training caught up a beat later, telling him to push back against the firestorm in his mind until he regained enough semblance of control to gulp down one measured lungful and no screech it out, then another, until he got a semi-regular intake reestablished.
Now more focused, despite the intense baritone throb in his skull, he looked down for the original source of discomfort and was shocked at what he found.
First and closer to his eyes, an alarmingly large metallic shard stood embedded in his gut. Somewhat further down, he could also see that his leg was at an extremely awkward angle. While there were a number of smaller gashes and bruises to add to the symphony of pain now known as his body these two stood out as the most prominent problems. "Not good." Sephiroth told himself, letting his head fall back onto the sand beneath him.
"SEPHIROTHHHHH!" Sephiroth jerked involuntarily at the wild scream that cut through the roar of blood in his ears, or was that the flames? Who cared, the sudden movement threw open the door for a fresh wave of assault on his raw nerves that sent black spots dancing over his vision till he almost blacked out again. Gritting his teeth against the sensory assault he turned his head in the direction the offending noise had come from, only to see one of the Shinra infantrymen literally bouncing towards him wildly across the smoldering wreckage that semi-blurred memory informed him used to be a helicopter.
"SEPHIIIIROTHHHHHH!" The IM shrieked again, as it drew near him.
"Oh god." Sephiroth managed to groan out as the franticly scrambling IM slid to his knees, almost crashing into the General and kicking up a massive sand cloud.
"THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIIVE!" The IM squealed, before peeling off his helmet. Of course it's Cloud, Sephiroth thought to himself. It's always Cloud.
"Oh dear!" Cloud gasped, eying the injuries that Sephiroth had sustained. "Oh dear oh dear oh dear! You're hurt."
"No shit, what happened?" Sephiroth demanded, trying to sit up but failing miserably after barely a second of pressure on his injured torso. Ok, so moving was really not in the good idea, much less possibilities, category right now.
"I'll tell you later." Cloud said, suddenly whipping into a whirlwind. When he stopped, Sephiroth found himself wrapped up head to toe in gauze. All that could be left to identify the general was the pair of distinct slit-pupil eyes that were now dramatically enlarged from panic.
"Mph mh m m mooming?" Sephiroth tried to demand around the thick gauze restricting his ability to communicate comprehensibly, eying Cloud wearily as the Infantryman as he went to work patching his wounds.
"Brace yourself." Cloud said
"Mph?" Sephiroth asked, by now willing to acknowledge the rising wave of fear over his current situation. Clearly the boy had no idea what he was doing.
Suddenly, Sephiroth felt a massive pain in his stomach as Cloud yanked out the shard of metal. Sephiroth's vision immediately began to fade, his last sight of Cloud, a slight gleam in his eyes.
He's not smirking is he? Sephiroth asked himself, before the darkness took him.