Why did she smell eggs?

It was not her favorite smell in the world - sometimes she had an egg with her ramen. But it certainly wasn't on her 'Top Ten Favorite Foods' list. That was occupied by nine different types of ramen. Then there was that time Hinata had shared her bento with her; that bento held the position of number five.

With a whine, she tried to bury her face deeper into her pillow and roll over with it. Falling off her bed was not a new experience to Naruto. It was nearly a bi-weekly occurrence, which is why she normally had a pile of clothes next to her bed to cushion the fall. That and laziness, as it was too much work to put them away and it was rather convenient for getting dressed.

This time, however, she landed face first onto the hard floor with a thud that shook the room. She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees with a pained groan, still half covered by the scratchy towel she had been using as a blanket.

Naruto looked around the room. It wasn't her bedroom, a hospital room, the classroom, the orphanage, the park, or any of the other places she had fallen asleep. It was too neat and clean, like the inside of somebody's home. "Wha? Where?"

"Can you do anything quietly?" The Bastard's voice echoed from the opened door. The sound of sizzling eggs stopped and a chair scraped against the floor. A nasty fart from a half empty bottle of ketchup punctuated the silence.

Naruto grunted and stretched her body as far as she could by spreading her fingertips to the ceiling and standing on her tippy toes. She came to a sudden stop when her neck popped loudly enough she was certain Sasuke could hear it. Then she collapsed into a standing lump and let out a giant yawn.

Important questions, like why was she in Sasuke's house, took the backseat when her stomach growled. It felt like she had been punched on the inside of her stomach by a giant bear. With the towel wrapped around her shoulders she shuffled towards the food.

The kitchen smelled like eggs, pepper, toast. And ketchup. Lots and lots of ketchup. Sasuke sat at the table eating ketchup with a side of cheese-tomato omelette. He looked up at Naruto and paused to acknowledge her. "What are you still doing here?"

In her right state of mind, Naruto would have vomited at the sight of Sasuke's ketchup filled monstrosity. But her stomach demanded food. "Feed me."

"No. Be grateful I didn't leave you to sleep outside." Sasuke resumed eating his meal, as though Naruto wasn't even there.

He was dressed and ready to begin class for the day. He would finish his meal and arrive just before Iruka started, but his punctuality had nothing to do with a need to be on time. It was just a convenient way to avoid his fangirls. The pink haired one was the worst - she had discovered his route twice already, forcing him to find a new path.

Naruto attempted to argue, in that it was his fault that she was here and he should take responsibility for it. But her stomach protested loudly, sounding as though she had a giant fox in there. Wait, why was the room spinning? Why did it feel like her hair was trying to fly away with her head?

Sasuke jumped out of his chair when Naruto's head slammed into the table with enough force to make his plate flip. Ketchup and omelette flew everywhere. Untamed hair fell around the table and into his food. He slid the majority of egg back onto his plate but Naruto's hair was now stained with ketchup. Shame, Naruto might have made a pretty redhead. With his food suitably ruined Sasuke poked Naruto's head with his fork. "You ruined my food."

The only sign that Naruto was still alive was her slow breathing. One of the horrible side effects of having a hyperactive metabolism, in addition to not being able to sit still, was that when she crashed, she crashed hard. With great effort, she uttered a single word. "Bastard."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto would be fine; she was always fine somehow. She was probably too stupid to be anything other than fine. He cleaned up his now ruined meal and was about to do the table when he heard Naruto hit the ground. With a sigh Sasuke walked over to inspect her.

"Hey, idiot, wake up," Sasuke smacked Naruto's cheek in rapid succession. She was still breathing, but her face was ghostly pale. With a snort Sasuke peeled back her eyelid. Her eyes were rolled back so far he could barely see the blue of her iris. "Shit."

Sasuke searched the kitchen in a collected panic. He couldn't just leave Naruto here! Why didn't he just leave her to sleep outside? That way, she'd be somebody else's problem. If he had to guess, she probably forgot to eat yesterday. He briefly considered the idea of feeding her the breakfast she ruined.

Unwilling to touch his own garbage, Sasuke decided on an apple. Fruit were full of energy, right? It was just what she needed. "Hey, loser, I have an apple for you. Eat it."

Naruto remained unresponsive.

"What is it that you're always wanting to eat? Ramen? I have a bowl of ramen for you."

Naruto remained unresponsive.

"Why did I think that would work?" Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He was going to be late. He'd have to take Naruto to the nurse or the hospital, they'd ask questions and it would be troublesome. "Great now I'm turning into Shikamaru."

"No, you're a bastard," Naruto's voice was raspier than normal, like she had just walked an hour in the desert with no water. She blinked, quickly pushing out the spare tears that had gathered. She saw Sasuke's apple. "Is that for me?"

With a nod, Sasuke handed it over. He had to snatch back his hand as Naruto took the apple with her. It gave a satisfying crunch as Naruto bit into it, nearly taking out the core. "Calm down, you act like you haven't eaten all week."

"I had a rice ball yesterday," Naruto said in between massive munchs. In four bites, Naruto had eaten the apple core and all. "Bastard, give me more."

"Wait, just a rice ball? Nothing else?" Sasuke frowned and threw another apple at Naruto. "And stop calling me bastard!"

"Then stop being a bastard!" Naruto devoured the second apple more slowly than the first, eating it in six large bites. She felt so much better now that she had something in her stomach. She glared up at Sasuke as he stood there with his one raised eyebrow acting cool like it was his job. "And I ran out of money early this month!"

"Yea right, you probably just spent it all on ramen." Sasuke couldn't resist smiling at the shade of red Naruto turned.

"Bastard!" Naruto pouted and looked at the ground. Sasuke had hit the nail on the head. She had counted the days wrong so she ended up with almost no food until Friday. "Hey, wait a second, why am I in your house? You didn't do anything perverted, did you?"

"You passed out after you failed to do the fireball jutsu." Sasuke blinked twice and breathed in through his nose. "I could have just left you there."

The Bastard wasn't being a bastard? Did she die and go to some alternate world where Sasuke was some kind of playboy? Naruto gave a small laugh and scratched the back of her head, feeling her cheeks redden. "Oh uhh thanks, the Old Man doesn't like it when I sleep outside. Hey! What do you mean the jutsu failed?!"

Sasuke had to cringe away as she shot up to shout in his face. She had horrible morning breath because she probably didn't brush her teeth very often.

All of Naruto's bravado vanished when she felt light headed. Her feet were so far away and she found herself falling forward. Sasuke caught her and her head fell against his chest. "Bastard."

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked and held Naruto at arm's length. He was going to be late for class at this rate. Even later if he had to take her to the hospital.

Naruto shook her head and slapped her cheeks. The slight dizziness she'd had moments ago vanished quickly. Sasuke was still holding her shoulders with a stupid concerned look on his face. She pushed his hands away with a pout, stomping her feet before rising to her tippy toes. "I'm fine. Now tell me what happened with my fireball!"

"You made a really small but really bright fireball. I don't think you should use the jutsu if it makes you pass out." Sasuke blinked twice and breathed in through his nose. It was for her own good - if she knew how powerful her fireball was, then she'd try to do it again and more than likely cause property damage and hurt herself in the process. It had absolutely nothing to do with jealousy.

"Aww, really?" Her shoulders slumped and her face fell. She stood there inches away from Sasuke in silence, avoiding his eyes at all cost. Tears began to pool in her eyes. "Why can't I do anything right?"

Sasuke bit his lip and took a small step towards Naruto. He made a motion to hug her, but stopped. With a sigh, he brought his fingers up to her forehead and flicked it hard. "Because you're an idiot that doesn't pay attention in class."

Naruto stumbled backwards. Her hands flew to the spot where Sasuke had flicked her. It hurt! Her face felt hot, her eyes were still wet and her bottom lip was pushed out dramatically in a childlike pout.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and started to walk past Naruto. "Speaking of class, I'm going to be late. You don't have to go to class, but you can't stay in my house."

He'd tell her about the ketchup in her hair later.

"Bastard, why's there ketchup in my hair!?"

Or not.

XXXX

"Why can't we just cut it?"

Naruto stuck her tongue out as Sasuke poured cold hose water through her hair. She was leaning back on a bench with her hair hanging off of the back end. It had taken surprisingly little effort to get Sasuke to agree to wash her hair, but it was his fault for not feeding her anyways. "Because then it would be all choppy and not even and would stick out in weird ways."

Pushing her legs against the ground and arching her back, Naruto got a better look at Sasuke. "Is that what you do?"

Her answer was a quick splash of water to the face. "Bastard!"

"I certainly don't comb it or anything. I keep it short enough that it won't get in the way of training," Sasuke explained as he continued to spray the ketchup out of Naruto's hair. There were only a few strands that were caked in the stuff left. "But why do you keep it so long?"

Naruto wiped her face dry and sat back down on the bench. They were in Sasuke's back yard, much of which was devoted to several uncared for gardening beds. What she wouldn't give to have garden beds like that… or a yard. A yard would be nice too. "Hey, why don't you grow stuff in your garden?"

Sasuke fumbled and began to grind his teeth. Had Naruto been paying attention, she would have seen a tear slide down Sasuke's face. After a moment he collected himself and Naruto's hair was wet but ketchup free. "Alright idiot, your hair is clean. Now I'm going to class."

"Hey, wait!" Naruto jumped up from the bench, causing her wet hair to slap against her back. She quickly ran after Sasuke with her arms flailing. "You never answered my question!"

"You didn't answer mine either."

XXXX omake XXXX

"Mikoto!"

Fugaku nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard that woman shrieking after his wife. It would have been such a pleasant afterlife were it not for Kushina. At the very least she would have been preoccupied if Minato had joined them. He admired the man's seemingly infinite patience when it came to the redhead.

His darling wife Mikoto patted his leg softly and stood up from their resting spot made of cloud. She smiled sweetly at Kushina. He treasured it, since it was one of the few times she actually smiled. Even in the afterlife, they could rarely smile. "What is it, Kushina?"

Kushina ran up to Mikoto, her red hair waving quickly back and forth behind her like an excited puppy tail. She grabbed Mikoto by the waist and pulled her up into a spinning hug, sending them both to the ground laughing. "It's happening!"

Fugaku was fairly certain that the women would have married each other, given the option. Must be something about Uzumaki.

"What's happening?" Mikoto laughed out as Kushina rolled on top of her. Fugaku tried not to glare at the scene. The last time Mikoto was on her back like that and smiling was during their honeymoon.

Kushina bounced up quickly, pulling Mikoto with her. "Narusasu!"

Fugaku frowned. He had no idea what that meant. It sounded like a combination of his son's and Kushina's daughter's names. But why would they be putting them together like that?

He heard his wife emit the same girlish squeals she did whenever she found out that somebody she cared for was in a new relationship. Just like when Itachi had a date with Izumi. Wait, did that mean...

Oh god no!

Fugaku stood up quickly and walked over to a small break in the cloud-like floor. Swiping his hands around, he created an opening.

"When, how, why?" Mikoto asked Kushina between excited squeals.

"Just now! He tried to teach her a fireball jutsu! I think he was tired of seeing her mess up," Kushina answered without pause. It was always amazing how much that woman could speak in a single breath.

Fugaku wasted no time in locating his orphaned son to see him in the garden, washing that girl's hair with a hose. He had tried to so hard to set up a decent match for his son, to avoid such a thing from happening. He had even put up with the cold shoulder of his wife for five years because he wouldn't allow her to adopt Naruto.

And now he was suffering for it. That idiotic child was going to be a part of his family. Which meant so would Kushina. "May god have mercy on us, my son."

AN: Beta'd by Dakeyras who wrote Grammar in Speech, in Speech a good little document for figuring how grammar stuff.

This is my first chapter with an Omake! I kind of liked doing them it was nice! Hope you all enjoyed it!

Now to work on the something completely different!