Chapter 2
AN- Second chapter now, not much to say.
Disclaimer: Nope. No ownership here.
Last time on You've Been NUZLOCKED, Jim started his journey with his starter Pokemon Simon and his two (Not) Best Friends. After gaining his Pokedex he set off for his next challenge... Route 1.
"Route 1 eh? Not very impressive." Remarked Jim to his starter as they walked.
"Mastwr, I'm so happwy to be on an adwenture with yoouuu~" Jim desperately tried to ignore his Pokemon's voice. Perhaps once it might have been considered cute or endearing to hear Simon's garbled speech patterns, but after a while it began to grate on his nerves.
"To be honest, I really wish I'd picked another Pokemon."
"Aaawwwgghh~"
"But alas, I have you. So we shall make do with what we have." Yes, it seemed like a wise choice. It wasn't Simon's fault he was about as annoying as Navi. Instead he should help Simon get over his crippling overdose of kawaii~. He might not be that intimidating at the moment, but Jim was certain that he could Make a Man out of him, of given time. And not in that way. Pervs.
"Ohhhh! Look at the pwetty twwweeeesss!"
Correction, a lot of time. But that was what grinding was for.
"Simon, time for you to earn your keep." In the nearby grass that lined Route 1 there was a small dog, growling softly. It was a Lillipup, sorta' like the Rattatta of Unova but with a bit more popularity due to it not looking like a rat. "Come, Simon! Hit him with a Tackle!"
"But Mwwaaasttter!" Complained Simon.
"Look, you're not cute at all."
"Kyyuuuuu~" Simon gave his best 'kawaii' look. It wasn't very effective against Jim's glare.
"Now."
"Kwwwyyyuuuaaaaa~" Simon scrunched up his face, putting more effort into the kawaii expression.
"Now."
"Will it mwake you wuuvv me?" He asked.
"Don't get ahead of yourself." Brushed off Jim. "Evolve and we'll see what happens."
"MUUUUU~~~~!" Jim tackled the nearby Lilipup with all of his might, weakening the low levelled Pokemon greatly due to his own superior level rather than any actual skill.
"Heh. Ya think ya tough, huh? Well I'm not just A Lillipup, I am THE Lillipup!" Bragged the dog. "Yathink ya scare me? Patarat's run away with there tails 'tween their legs, an' I even took on a Pidove once, believe it! Ya think ya scare me, well ya don't 'Cause I've seen things! I've beaten 'em too!" He finished his boast with a growl, attempting to intimidate those that stood up against him, after all, he was the-
"Level 2 eh?" Muttered Jim after having thrown a Pokeball at the weakened critter. Capturing him easily. "This calls for Switch Training!"
"Hwow does that differ to nwormal twaining?" Asked Simon. "What's with the cwapitalisation?"
"Seriously Simon, now you're just putting w's into every word an hoping it makes you look cute! If you were a chick, maybe! But you're a guy! Man up!"
"Ohhh..." The Oshawott lowered its head meekly.
"Cheer up though!" Declared the trainer. "I'll stick Lilypup in for a battle, then you take over midway! Share the EXP and everyone wins!" Except for the wild Pokemon who was either unconscious, dead or otherwise, but who really cared about them? Not Jim. This was his dream, so they would have to fall for the Greater Cause of Level up's!
"If it mwakes you happy~" The otter agreed. "I'll fight then!"
"Excellent..." Jim rubbed his hands together maliciously. Yes, he would train the two of them up and nobody would ever laugh at him for choosing the otter again... admittedly nobody had laughed in the first place, but they called him Asswipe that time, which earned a beating the next time Jim and his rivals met anyway.
XXXXXXXXX
"Accumula Town? It ain't so special." Claimed the Lilypup that had been named, after much deliberation, the original name of Pup. "I've fought their Lilypup's. Ain't any good. I totally beat 'em all. Yep. Definitely."
"Mwaster~" Whispered Simon to his human companion. "Me's thinks he jwust fibbing~"
"We all know that much."
"Don't dis the Pup. I'll eat y'all for dinner. Then spit yer out and have yer for breakfast too..." Jim didn't want to point out how Pup was only level 4 and that even then that was after training, so he wasn't really that strong, so his claims were probably false.
Then again, Pup would be on his team for the near future, so there wasn't any harm in keeping the weaker Pokemon's spirits up. "I'm sure you did, Pup. You got them good, didn't you?"
"Of course I did." Boasted Pup. "I'm THE Lilypup for Route 1. Don't even listen to that Level 3 Patrat we saw. He was talking out his ass. Damned Patrat's..."
"Muuuuu~" Interjected Simon. "I guess I'm THE Oshawwwot."
"No Simon, just no."
"Awwww..." Simon fell quiet. It didn't matter though. Soon enough he would show his mwaster how cool and cute he was by doing this battling thing he practised earlier. There would be no choice but for mwaster to love him then!
"Heh, lookie over there." Pup pointed his head at a large crowd of people that had gathered around a smaller group of people.
"Oh, its just the regional Criminal Gang is all." Commented Jim as he and his two Pokemon got close enough to make out the armoured forms of the Team Plasma neatly lined up, their metal shining in the sun. The odd one out of the orderly underlings stepped forth, revealing the leader of the group. Tall and imposing, with the green hair typical for one whom lives in the Pokeverse and was wearing what vaguely looked like, to Jim, a Scouter from Dragonball Z. From Jim's prior knowledge he knew who it was: Ghetis, the Man behind the King, the puppetmaster who serves as one of the primary antagonists.
To be honest, Jim actually kind of liked the villain. Not in the 'I would like to be friends' kind if way, but in the 'damn I like that asshole' sort of way. He was a competent antagonist and Jim thought that it was nice to see a group get an actual motivation, albeit a hypocritical one, rather than something stupid like 'expand the sea, nothing could go wrong! Who needs land anyway?' or 'Time to godmod the universe by controlling Space and/or Time, because why not?'.
So yes, Jim liked him as a bad guy, but could see why people thought he was a dick. The guy betrayed the cause he had been apparently fighting for, using it as a front for generally selfish reasons.
"Attention everyone!" Declared Ghetis. "I am Ghetis, and I speak on behalf of Team Plasma. I wish to discuss a few matters with you. Firstly, are you all stupid? Seriously? What is up with our society? We trap living beings in small spheres and make them fight each other to the death for fun, then claim that we're all hunky-dory-best-friends-for-ever? That is cruel and stupid. How would you like it if you were in the Pokemon's position, forced to fight for the right to exist and trapped inside the cyberspace of the PC box when you were no longer wanted?"
"It'd be pretty fun actually!" Shouted one random member of the crowd. "If I was like a Pokemon, I could use Hyperbeam!"
"Yep."
"Yeah."
"Sounds cool."
"Is the PC more like the Matrix or Tron?" Asked one confused woman.
"Nu uh! I bet the PC is hell, because says that the PC is where all 'bad' Pokemon go?"
Ghetis sighed and applied a palm to his face. "I don't know what I was expecting, really, from the people that that consider three houses a town. I really don't." He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Screw it! Plan D. D for Destruction. I tried the peaceful civil method, hoping for results-"
"Why can't I use Hyperbeam! Go me, Hyperbeam!"
"but I tried to use it on idiots like you." Concluded the leader. "So screw it. I'm off to go take over the Pokemon League, and possibly the World depending on how I feel afterwards, using child labour, my incompetent minions who can't seem to catch or train their Pokemon correctly, and a Dragon or something. Any children in the crowd who want to try and take down a crime syndica-I mean, a 'liberation army', then please don't. This planet is stupid enough without relying on kids to save the day. Goodbye."
With a bow and a flourish, Ghetis gestured for his army of grunts to surround him. He marched proudly away, ignoring the conversation he had sparked upon leaving and the quickly diffusing crowd.
"What do you mean humans can't learn Hyperbeam?"
"Look, if the PC was like the Matrix, then wouldn't we be in there living a dream land instead of the Pokemon?"
"What if we already are and this is just a computer simulation, like a video game or something?"
"Don't be ridiculous! How silly would that be!"
Jim smiled. "So that's Ghetis. He seems a bit different in person."
"Heh, not so tough. I coulda taken him." Insisted Pup. "One Tackle and I swear that his team'd be sprintin' for the hills."
"Well maybe one day you'll get the chance to fight him." Speculated Jim, already knowing the end result of the journey he was travelling.
"Hello." Greeted a polite voice. Jim turned round to see who had greeted him. It was a green haired girl, with a large smile on her face and a cap on her head. To Jim she looked familiar, but couldn't place her identity. "My name is N. Nice to meet you." Greeted the girl.
"Wait a minute... what?" Jim was confused. Wasn't N the additional rival character in the Unova region? Wasn't N a total follower of Beastiality- correction- Pokeality? And most importantly of all, wasn't N supposed to be a guy?
"Can you hear them?" She asked, leaning into the new trainer to speak into his ear. "Their voices?"
"Seriously, what the hell is this?" Jim countered. Why was N a girl all of a sudden? It didn't actually make any sense! The Nuzlocke thing he could deal with, but wasn't this dream supposed to follow the games? What was the actual purpose of such an odd divergence as a genderbent character?
Then again, considering this was a dream and all in Jim's opinion, perhaps she was there purely for Fanservice? He was a dude after all.
"So?" N pressed. "Do you hear them?"
"Who?" Responded Jim, deciding to deal with the consequences of a genderbent character another day. "The Pokemon? Of course I can! All the Pokemon here talk, stupid."
"Oh, really? I see." N nodded her head. "So you can hear their voices, but you won't set them free?"
"Meh. Hey fella's, you want to be free?" He asked his two Pokemon.
"No Mwaster! I'd neeeevvveeerr leave you, 'cos I wuv you~" Declared Simon solemnly.
"Why'd I wanna go anyway?" Added Pup. "I go where I want, and I like it here."
"Can't you hear their suffering? Their pleading to be released!?" N bellowed dramatically, taking off her cap and allowing her long hair to blow in the non-existent breeze, just to reiterate her point. Jim noted that at least N's long hair actually made sense now that she was a girl. He was surprisingly at peace with this change now. "Clearly those were the words of Pokemon wishing to be free!"
"Didn't yer here a worda what I said?" Responded Pup.
"Oh! So many unhappy Pokemon!"
"Look, are you going to challenge me to a battle or not?" Prompted Jim. "I haven't got all day, I'm going to wake up any moment now, and I know how you types are."
"You want to fight my friends?" Clarified N. "Of course, I'll show you the error of your way! Once I beat you, you'll be so inspired that you release your poor, poor Pokemon!"
"Is this chick fer real?"
"Go, my beautiful Purrloin!" From N's sole Pokeball a small purple cat materialised, yawning a little as it did so and meowing.
"I'll settle this one." Decided Pup. "I'll earn my keep, show yer just why I'm THE Lilypup of Route 1! Besides which, its a cat. Natural enemy and all that. Have ter fit in with the stereotype an' all that."
"If you want." Jim shrugged, not really caring so long as EXP was collected. "Use a Leer to lower defence!"
"GRRRRRGGHH..."
"Hmmm!" The Purrloin seemed pretty unimpressed.
"Now, use Scratch!"
The cat pokemon lunged forwards suddenly, its previous lazy front gone and replaced by feline aggression. Sharp paws lunged for its target, whom was unable to fully dodge and took a hit to its side.
"Quick, Tackle it!"
"GGRRRRRR!" Pup shot forwards and lunged, sprawling into the nimble form of N's Pokemon and throwing her back against the nearby bench.
"Follow through with another!" Pup complied and impacted with Purrloin once more before she had the chance to flee. "And another!" The final one was the last nail in the coffin, knocking out the Purrloin for good.
"No! You hurt my friend!" Sobbed N. Jim actually felt a little guilty considering he'd made a chick cry and all. He consoled himself that the enemy wasn't dead, and that she was still the enemy, even with a different gender.
"Yeah, well you sent your friend to fight other small creatures, so you were kind of asking for this to happen, you hypocrite." Defended Jim, deciding this was as good as an excuse as any to make himself feel better.
The girl suddenly stopped crying, rising to her feet once more. "Hey, since you knocked out my friend, does that mean you'll be my friend?"
"What? No! You just tried to force me to release all my Pokemon for one thing!" The boy reminded. "For another, I'm pretty sure you don't make friends with people after they beat up your friends!"
"That's what all my manga says though..." she pouted.
"Great." Thought Jim sourly. "A villainess with a fixation for shonen style, Nanoha-eque 'befriending' techniques..."
"So I've decided that you'll be my new best friend." Decided N matter of factly.
"Since when did I agree to that?"
"Yeah! I should be Mwaster's best fwend!" Insisted Simon.
"Anyway, I'm gonna go off and catch some different friends, but then I'll be back to show you the error of your ways, best friend! Bye bye!" N returned Purrloin to her ball and left quickly, following in the direction that Ghetis had left.
Jim felt that the world was suddenly less confusing.
"Hhhhee... told ya I could do it." Stated Pup. "I wasn't just talkin' big, I did it too! Ya see that, I kicked that kitten's ass!"
"That you did. Well done." Jim praised his first catch.
"Do I get pwaise too, Mwaster?"
"No."
"Awww..." Soon though, soon. Simon would show his mastwer just why he should love him!
Later on...
After a quick stop in the Pokecenter (Any ideas why everything in the world had to include the word Poke in it? Pokemon, Pokeball, Pokemart, Poke Center?) to heal up his team and to purchase some potions for his team, Jim found himself continuing to travel, hoping to make a bit more progress.
So Jim, Simon and Pup continued past Accumula Town and onto Route 2, where Jim had his first few Pokemon Battles, considering how Route 1 was vacant of any other trainers to fight.
Pup and Simon breezed through the enemy though, taking them out quickly as they shared out the fights that they took part in. During the battles both Pokemon learnt a move each: Pup gaining Bite while Simon figured out how to spit out Water Gun's. Jim was rather pleased and actually gave Simon a bit of praise, since he now had a move to take out his rivals Tepig when they next meet. Only a bit mind you, Jim had his image to keep up.
"So why ya havin' this adventure anyway?" Asked Pup as they walked.
"Well, I'm taking part in a challenge called the Nuzlocke Run, so I can only catch the first Pokemon I see in any area."
"Like that Patrat over there?" Pup pointed out.
"Exactly. Got Bite him would you?"
"Course I can, I'm THE Lillyp-"
"We know."
"GRRGGGHHH!"
"Yaaaa!"
One minor savaging and a Pokeball later, the trainer found himself with his third Pokemon, Ron the Patrat, who's naming may or may not have been related to a certain book series and a character owning a rat, as well as the fact that he looked like one.
"With three Pokemon now, I think I'm ready!" Said Jim. "A bit longer now, then there will be the next city, which should have the first gym. So let's pick up the pace before-"
"HEYYYYAAAAA!" Came an enthusiastic voice.
"Wh-what was that?" Requested Ron meekly.
"Ignore it." Insisted Jim. "Now, how about a run..."
"AAAASSSSSSWWWIIIIIPPPPPEEEEE!"
"Ah think she's talkin' ta you, Asswipe."
"Damn it Pup, my name is NOT Asswi-"
"BEESSSTT FRRIIIEEENNDDD!" Bianca enacted the Legendary Flying-Tackle-Glomp upon the poor form of a reluctant trainer, then she turned her Glomp into a rib cracking hug. Jim wasn't very happy.
"Qu-quick! Gah! Pup, Bite her! Biter her! Bite her!"
"I dunno." Debated Pup. "Ah ain't really supposed to attack 'uman's."
"F-FINE! Ron, Tackle her before I lose something important!"
"B-but, its so sudden..."
Desperate times called for desperate measures... "SIMON! Save me!"
"Now, now~" Chided Bianca softly. "You don't need saving, because all I'm doing is Best-Befriending you!"
"How does that-YARRGGH- logically work?" Asked Jim while he endured the terrific damage applied to his chest.
"If you get Pokemon friends by beating them up and forcing them to join you, then obviously to show your Best Human Friend, you should break some bones~"
"YOU'RE A PSYCOPATH! Quick, Simon, save me!"
Simon, sensing an opportunity, took advantage of it. "Tell me you wuv me."
"WHAT!?"
"Tell me you wuuuvvv me~" Repeated Simon with a pout.
Now Jim was truly between a rock and a hard place. Either he get crushed to death by his 'Best Friend' or he had to endorse his Starter's overly kawaii manner. He didn't know which was worse, dying now or having to listen to all those w's over the course of his journey to beat all the Gym Leaders.
No, he needed a third option...
"Battle..." Croaked Jim.
"Pardon?"
"Battle... Pokemon... challenge you." Finished Jim on the verge of unconsciousness.
"OH! You wanted a Pokemon battle with me!" Bianca threw the asphyxiated boy to one side and reached for one of her balls... Pokeballs, for those who truly needed clarification. "Why didn't you say so? Silly little Asswipe!"
"My name isn't Asswi-"
Jim was interrupted as usual by the sound of Bianca calling out her first Pokemon. "Goooooo, Lilypup!"
From the floor, Jim decided to get the battle over with quickly and asked Ron to take the fight as the most inexperience member, so he could get some much needed battle experience.
"Leer!" Declared Bianca with a shout as her critter followed her command, while Jim went in for the kill to try and take her out before his own Pokemon lost too much health.
"BITE!" Ron might have seemed a bit meek, but once the battle started he was surprisingly brave, since he dashed towards the barking dog and bit down hard and without hesitation, eliciting a bark of pain.
"Tackle!" Exclaimed the energetic terror- correction- girl. Lilypup tore itself from Ron's vice like grip and threw itself at the Patrat almost as soon as it was able.
"Give it your own Tackle!" Urged Jim, who now had enough confidence in his condition to raise himself to a kneeling position while Simon fretted over his Mastwer's condition. He was primarily ignored.
Ron complied with the command and put his all into hitting Lilypup, which he succeeded in doing. The chipmunk looking creature then finished off his enemy upon hearing his trainer's final command, "Bite!"
By the time Ron was done, Lilypup wasn't going to be fighting any time soon.
"I-I did it?" Ron said, almost perplexed at how he had won. "I r-really did it?"
"Yes Ron, you did it!" Cheered Jim (Who was now on his feet and shuffling away from the still preoccupied Bianca) with a fistbump. "One more then I'm free!"
"Goooooo Tepig!"
"Simon, Water Gun now!"
It was over so quickly that the clash was almost not worth writing a sentence about.
"Aaaaahhh!" Sighed Bianca. "My Pokemon lost. Oh well, by losing I know the best way not to do something, therefore next time I can win! Then I'll give everyone Victory Hug's!"
The soaked Tepig began to crawl away from his trainer, clearly liking the sound of Victory Hugs as much as Jim did.
"So now that you've lost, you have to leave me alone!" Declared Jim. "Its in the rules and everything. You lose, then come back again later with a better team, rinse and repeat!"
"I don't know. Books lie because they're flat and silly and can't talk, or hug anyone, so I don't read them. And rules are normally in books, so I don't like them! So why shouldn't I just travel with you instead of doing something silly like running off by myself so I have to find you all over again later?"
"Because its the rules and you know the meaning of Private Space?"
"Naah!" Bianca smiled a terrible smile. "I think I'll follow you around... around... around... around..."
"This time around I know I'm not imagining it! There was DEFINITELY and echo!"
"So because we're Best Friends, lets travel together forever... ever... ev-"
"I'm not even letting it echo this time!" Shouted the frustrated boy. He needed a way to get rid of her soon or else he really would go crazy, or would at least lose the ability to walk without assistance if she decided to give him one more of her hugs.
"I've got it!" A sly grin came to Jim's face.
"What is it Asswipe?"
"My name is NOT Ass-" Jim stopped himself. He knew it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it. He told himself that again and again. Not worth it. Eyes on the prize, get the harpy away from him then complain about his incorrect and offensive name. "You know Bianca, since we're 'BEST FRIENDS' and all, maybe we should do something to show our... 'Best Friends'-ness."
"I LOVE showing my Best Friend-ness! Shall I hug you!?" Squealed Bianca.
"NO!"
"Tell me more!"
"Lets get each other a present," Decided Jim. "for each other. BUT! We can't let each other know what we're buying!"
"Aaahh! But then I'm going to have to go off alone..." Sulked the girl.
"What a shame." He lied. "You know what? After such a youthful match, I am eagerly anticipating purchasing that present, so I'm going to head to the next city while you go back to the last one so there isn't a chance of us meeting, so I can get you your present." Finished Jim pleasantly. "So bye!" And with that Jim began to run once more, his Pokemon accompanying him, while Bianca waved.
"SURE THING... BEST FRIEND!"
"Run and don't look back... she might change her mind." Was the only instruction to give.
"W-well no wonder you weren't anxious to see her." Remarked Ron. "Are you going to buy that present for her then?"
"Me? Hahahahaha!" Jim burst into hysterical laughter at the very thought. "Of course not! I'm getting the gym badge and ditching town as soon as possible, in the hope that she doesn't catch up to me!"
"I don't bwame you~" Agreed Simon. "Not at all..."
And so once more our hero has triumphed, but many questions remain unanswered. Will Jim ever accept he inevitable of his 'Best Friends', or will he escape from the terrible fate? Will he claim the Trio Badge from Straiton City? Will he purchase that present? Will Simon ever get the acknowledgement he desires? Or will anyone actually review this story? Find out these answers (Possibly) and more, on the next episode of You've Been NUZLOCKED!
AN- Oddly, I don't have anything to say really. Normally my Author Notes are filled with my ramblings, but not today. Brief point out towards Simon, since I though it would be funny to make him overly cute in a nauseating way, sort of as a shout out to that one annoying Piplup in the anime that they forced down out throats, like they were saying 'here's the cute mascot for the generation, so you're gonna damn well awww over it!'. And yes, I'm playing up Bianca' friendship stuff. Get over it. And Pup's a braggart.
Now, review and stuff, expect the next chapter soon! Undying Soul out!
