Conversations Without Words.
Summary: They held conversations without words, because when it came to speaking, neither of them could ever say the right thing.
A series of one-shots depicting the various incarnations of Casey and Cappie's relationship. Some will be connected others will be standalone's.
For now the rating is T - it can always go up ( or down) with the coming chapters.
Friends.
Friends. The word confused him, left him for once without a witty comment or sarcastic criticism. The undefined implications of it would catch him off guard at times and leave him stumbling, dizzy and at worst a little ill.
At the present moment he was once again contemplating the ramifications of this new undiscovered territory with a guiding pint of beer in some nameless, faceless bar, whose patrons were equally nameless and faceless. He had no intentions of connecting any names and faces tonight, instead he sought the solitary company of the cheap beer and the confusion that his thoughts were currently bringing him. He needed to be alone tonight; he needed to think.
For the life of him he could not decide if friends was better or worse than before. Friends was an awkward in between: They would never, could never be the friends that chatted endlessly, aimlessly about nothings and everything's. Another sip of his beer brought the realization that he in no way desired that type of friendship with Casey anyways. He had his brothers for that, and no matter how normal they both tried to act around each other He knew without a doubt that Casey and he would never be friends in the normal sense, it was if not impossible then completely irrational and if anything did a major disservice to their past.
A deep swallow emptied his glass and he signaled the bartender for another refill, his fourth? Fifth perhaps? And yet he had not felt the telltale signs of buzz, his eyes had not blurred, he felt only marginally warmer and most irritatingly his head had not settled into a comfortably cloudy daze, no instead he was painfully aware of the clarity of his thoughts.
He sighed. This was not hell; he had been through nights much worse, his thoughts much darker than now. This was not hell. Evan was hell. Evan was the very worst hell, barging into Dobbler's with Casey in tow. Even now it pained him to think of it; those nights were hell, Evan's very presence a sharp reminder of a shattered friendship and the loss of his most cherished relationship. "The" relationship that had defined all his romantic encounters the following year and a half, nothing had, and he was sure that nothing would ever quite measure up. He missed Casey, like hell.
This was not hell, but at the same time he yearned for it. At least hell had a name, someone to blame for all his pain and more importantly a clear definition of his and Casey's relationship: Ex's, who exchanged no more than thinly veiled barbs and on his part a burning contempt for Evan.
This was purgatory he decided as he brought the new beer to his lips. This was undefined, confusing and ultimately upsetting because it would never be enough and now there was no one to blame but his own lack of nerve. A lack of nerve for which he held Casey solely responsible, he was too scared to be crushed again. The brave, outgoing, spontaneous, so -called fearless leader of the Kappa Tau's was to scared to admit to the girl he knew so intimately that he cared for her. Casey had crushed him too many times for him to bounce back quickly, if at all. There was no bitterness in this judgment- his love for the blonde Zeta Beta ran to deep to ever hold anything against her- however there was copious amounts of regret that no amount of beer or friendship could erase.
He shrugged his shoulders to his ears, attempting to alleviate the tension that had built in time with his thoughts. Another sip, another influx of confusing emotions.
This was purgatory. The concept of friends grew more and more ridiculous the more he thought about it, and he struggled to keep himself from laughing. Casey and he would never be friends. They were past lovers who had known heaven, and ex's who had experienced hell. Even now with the label forced onto them, they were not friends. Coffee before class and drinks afterward felt too close to date for it not to be awkward, dinner was not an option and the mere thought of them hanging out in his room was off limits. He shut off any fantasies of her and him in his room, with a shake of his head. The concept could not stay platonic for more than a millisecond before he lost himself in a haze of fire, tangled sheets, crushed lips, molded bodies and of course tumbling golden locks splayed across his pillow.
A yawn escaped him, he was tired. Chugging the rest of his beer he motioned for the bill, acutely aware that it was only nine-o'clock on a Friday and he was already calling it a night.
He shook his head as he met the cool night air, feeling surprising second wind takeover. Perhaps he needed change scenery, a change of pace. Unwittingly the image of Casey's Zeta Beta Zeta room cam to mind, and his fingers twitched toward his phone. He was not versed in the etiquette of their so called friendship, would it be within the lines to call her now? Invite her out, somewhere, anywhere? (As long as it was with her any local would do).
A soft breeze reached him, fluttering the edge of his thin shirt, alerting his skin to the cool temperature. Despite his previous lethargy he felt nervous, excited as another realization dawned on him at a surprising rate.
A small smile worked its way onto his face. This was purgatory, but dammit if there was anyone he knew better than himself it was Casey. If he was feeling off about this situation then she must be aware of it too, of the overwhelming wrongness of this forced platonic stasis. And even more overwhelming was the knowledge of Casey's will, she was a doer - if change was to occur she would be the instigator, all he had to do was point her in the right direction.
His phone was at his ear and ringing before he had time to register dialing. His smile grew: This was purgatory but he would not stay here forever. He was sure of it.
So, I started watching old epi's of Greek last month and I am seriously obsessed! Cappie and Casey's relationship was noticeable from the a brief exchange on the first episode I watched - I didn't even know they had been together and I was already cannonzing them. (Also I'm not sure where all the religious references started popping up but they ended up shaping the story- in this sense I am using the universal definition of heaven and hell not the biblical version)
Anyways, I am not the best updater ( college can do that to you), and my ideas change all the time so I work best with one shots - hence this collection.
I am a lazy editor so I probs have lots of spelling and grammar issues thats I'll get around to sometime.
Thanks for reading and as always REVIEWS ARE THE BREATH OF LIFE and are always appreciated.
xoxo
