Warnings: I think I covered these rather well in the first chapter. There are themes that will be showing up in this fic rather, rather soon that I can't believe I decided to write about. I scared myself. How's THAT for a warning? Angst, soon-to-be-slash, and a theme that I can't believe I'm writing about. (I won't even say it until later… Like, in chapter three…)
Notes/Disclaimers: I don't OWN them, damnit, so stop buggin' me about it. I DO own Jazz, and he DOES make an appearance in this chapter.
Love Does Not Cause Pain
Chapter Two:
"Skool Troubles"
Zim sighed. He had no idea that there was so much difference between Irken and human lifestyles. Dib was rushing about for what almost seemed no reason at all.
"I have to get ready for skool, Zim!" Dib nearly shrieked as he stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth. "If I'm late…"
"Why do you humans have to go to this…'skool' of yours?" Zim asked.
"The same reason why you Irken Invaders go to The Academy—to learn things to help us build our lives. Though, at least we get to stay on our own planet…" Dib mumbled through the toast, putting on his boots and tying the laces quickly.
Zim blinked. "But…I finished my training years ago…"
Dib took the toast out of his mouth, swallowed what was left of the bite he took, and then said: "Humans take a longer time to learn what we need to know for our careers. Bye!" Dib waved slightly as he grabbed his bookbag and rushed out of the house.
Shaking his head, Zim noted to himself that he was never going to understand Dib. One minute the human boy could sit there and do nothing but insult him—like last night—and then there were times like this morning. But Zim knew one thing: never get in a human's way to his food. That practically meant death, and a horrible one at that by the way Dib was acting when Zim almost took his toast.
Though, Zim wished he could have his room to himself like before. Sharing one with Dib was weird, and Zim learned really fast that Dib was not the neat human Zim had thought he was. Why, Dib had only spent one night in Zim's room, and the half that the human had occupied was a complete and utter mess. How could Dib live in a room that unorganized.
And Dib was ignoring all of Zim's attempts to be civil. Zim figured that, if they were really going to live together against their will, they could at least try to get along with each other. Dib, on the other hand, seemed to think otherwise. Whenever Zim was in the same room as Dib, Dib wouldn't even look at him unless Zim made himself known. And even then, if Zim didn't respond fast enough, Dib would snap, "Go away!" at him.
It seemed as though there would never be a time where Dib would at least let Zim talk to him. That didn't bother Zim too much, considering the fact that he was seeing the human more often than he had wanted to. Zim couldn't shake the fact that Dib was acting so cold towards him, even though he had expected the human to be distant at first.
"Hey Zim, you home?" a voice called through the house.
"Jazz! What a pleasant surprise," Zim said as he walked towards the front of the house.
"I heard about what the Tallests did to you… I'm surprised your house is still standing," Jazz stated as he looked down at Zim. "Is Dib being any more civil towards you?"
"Are you still afraid of Gaz?" Zim returned, smirking slightly when Jazz's antennae fell slightly.
"Well… I'm not as afraid of her… For a human, she can be rather strong," Jazz admitted after a little while.
"Don't let her boss you around, Jazz. She's just a human," Zim stated, giving his friend a look.
"You don't understand, Zim. Gaz could flatten me in an instant!" Jazz exclaimed. "And I have the scars to prove just how vicious she can be!"
"So what? You're an Irken, Jazz. We used to have the humans as slaves."
"Well, I believe that human beings aren't below us, and you know that I never have, Zim," Jazz stated.
"You still shouldn't let her control you."
"And everyone is afraid of her because she's got this ability to make your life a living hell," Jazz continued.
"How so? She's just a human," Zim said simply, as if that was all he ever needed to know.
"She has her ways, Zim," Jazz stated.
Zim sighed. "Well… Dib hasn't been talking to me since he's…moved in," Zim said, trying to change the subject.
"Isn't that better than usual?" Jazz asked, blinking his light blue eyes.
"It's better in many ways. For instance, I don't have to put up with his insults… But…it's so…wrong to see him this quiet."
"Does he seem to…just not care that you're around?" Jazz asked.
"Yeah, exactly," Zim responded.
"Gaz did the same thing when she first moved in…then I broke her GameSlave," Jazz muttered, subconsciously rubbing a scar on his arm.
"It's funny how much those two act alike… But, then again, they are related," Zim said as he sat down on the couch.
"She's growing on me," Jazz said quietly, almost more to himself than to Zim.
Zim blinked at his friend. "What?"
"Gaz. She's…growing on me. I mean…"
"It would make sense, since you're so afraid of her… But, Jazz, she's a hu—"
"Don't finish that, Zim, just don't," Jazz interjected. "I know what she is, but Red and Purple made me marry her… It's kind of hard for me not to get to know her. I figured you would at least try to understand, since you are my bestfriend," Jazz stated.
"Do you think that…you might be…falling for her?" Zim asked after a little while, trying to sound friendly. He had heard the desperation in Jazz's voice, no matter how much Jazz probably had tried to hide it from him.
"…Yes," Jazz whispered. "I know you don't like the idea, Zim."
"Don't worry about it. If you had said 'no,' I would have known you were lying, anyway. At least you can be honest with me."
"I wouldn't want to lie to you, anyway… Zim, you do realize that Red and Purple were lying to you and Dib about your 'living arrangement'? They really are going to make you marry him, you know."
"I know," Zim replied. "I figured that they wouldn't just keep it as a living arrangement… Dib, however, does not know. He's certain that he will only have to live with me for a few months. And no matter how much I want to believe the same, I know better," he continued, looking down at the ground.
"Are you going to try and convince him that you are going to have to get married?" Jazz asked, blinking at Zim.
Solemnly, Zim shook his head. "He doesn't want to hear the truth just yet."
"You sure know a lot about him," Jazz stated, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "You must at least like him in the littlest way…"
"Take that back, Jazz!" Zim shouted. "I would never, ever like a human being! They're weak, shallow, incompetent—"
"Gaz would sooo try to prove you wrong if she were here," Jazz said calmly.
Zim glared at Jazz for a moment, then relaxed a little. He had to stop doing that. "I only know him so well because he's my enemy. You have to know those things so you can seek out weaknesses," Zim said once he knew he was calm enough to say anything and not scream it.
"Zim…you'd be surprised about humans. They aren't as weak or shallow or incompetent as you think they are. Try getting to know Dib, or at least don't argue with him every chance you get," Jazz advised.
"As long as he tries as hard as me, then maybe I will. When do you have to leave, anyway?" Zim asked.
"Well, Gaz is going to get home from 'skool' soon… I don't know what she'd do to me if I wasn't home… Maybe rant my antennae out…like usual," Jazz said.
"Would you know if she and Dib go to the same skool?"
"I would think they do… They are brother and sister, after all."
Zim nodded, then blinked as Dib walked through the front door. The human stopped walking, blinked back, then shook his head as he continued to walk. "Skool was released early…" was all that Dib said as he passed Zim, looking down at the ground. "I'll be in our room, doing homework."
Jazz turned and raised an invisible eyebrow at Zim. "'Our' room?"
"Shut. Up," Zim hissed, glaring at his friend. "This house was only meant for one Irken!"
"Chill, Zim… I guess I should go now…"
"No, you can stay here, Jazz," said a female voice from behind them. "I have to make sure Dib is alright. Skool wasn't really released early," Gaz stated, strangely quiet and calm.
Zim glared at the human standing before him. He studied her for a moment, then winced as Jazz hit him in the back of the head. Zim gave his friend a look in return, but Jazz just shook his head.
"Why? What happened?" Jazz asked, looking concerned. Zim blinked at his friend.
"Like you Irkens would understand," Gaz mumbled as she followed her brother.
Zim and Jazz both exchanged glances, and Zim noticed that Jazz looked slightly hurt. "Do you have any idea what she's getting at?" Zim asked finally.
"No clue… She's pissed, though. Something had to have happened," Jazz stated.
"Thank you for stating the obvious, Jazz."
Gaz walked back into the living room and glared at Zim. "Zim, I know you hate being in the presence of a human, but listen and listen good. Dib went through hell today. Leave him alone," she growled.
"Hell?" Zim asked.
"Yes. I don't feel like going into detail, Zim. If Dib feels as if he wants to talk, don't start throwing insults at him," Gaz continued to order, her glare baring such an intensity that Zim could see why Jazz was afraid of her. "C'mon, Jazz, let's go home."
Jazz sighed and waved to Zim. "See ya tomorrow, Zim," he said as he got up.
"Bye, Jazz…"
Dib just sat there, staring at the wall in front of him intensely, as if he was trying to take in every detail of it. He was only staring to distract himself from his thoughts. "I…can't believe this…" Dib mumbled. Sighing, he pulled out his stuffed toy and placed it in front of him.
"I wish I could talk to mom about this," he said to the dog toy, as if it would respond. "She'd understand. Why does Dad have to send me to that skool?" Dib smiled for a moment, though the sadness didn't leave his eyes. He had to distract himself somehow, and talking to his toy was perfectly distracting…but his thoughts on what had happened kept coming back to him.
He had no one real to talk to about it; at least, no one he could trust enough to talk about it with. His mother, maybe…but she was almost completely unreachable. Once that thought made itself known to Dib, the fifteen-year-old had to tell himself not to think about it. His mother wasn't gone, yet…she still had enough time left in her life for his father to find a cure.
At least, that was the lie he had told himself over and over again for the past year and a half. Sighing, Dib finally let a tear fall. His mother, according to many doctors, only had a few weeks of left to live. He had always been under the impression that she was getting better, and that Membrane was close to finding that cure for her illness.
He had been wrong.
"You know, I wish I could see her again," Dib whispered. "But Dad won't let me see her. I want to see mom before she…" he couldn't bring himself to say it. No boy should lose his mother to some disease, Dib thought sourly. Membrane wasn't that good of a father. Sure, the man had his heard in the right place, but…
A soft known on the door was heard, snapping Dib would of his haze of thoughts. For a moment, Dib couldn't comprehend what he had to say. He hastily wiped away his tears and let out a shaky: "Come in." Dib didn't even blink when Zim walked into the room they shared. "You didn't have to knock, you know," Dib muttered.
"Well, I was trying to be polite," Zim mumbled, giving Dib an odd stare. "Are…are you…?"
Dib blinked again and squeezed his stuffed animal for a moment, then realized that Zim had seen it. "Am I what, Zim?" he croaked out finally, trying to give Zim one of his better death glares while attempting not to cry.
"Nevermind. You probably wouldn't want to talk to me, anyway," Zim stated strongly. "I just needed to get something," Zim added as he walked across the room and pulled out his black notebook.
"Don't you have anything to say?" Dib asked suddenly, remaining where he was on the bed.
"Like what? Do you want me to tease you or something? …And, don't bother to wipe your eyes; I can tell you've been crying. You humans don't hide your emotions too well," Zim said as he headed out of the door.
"I guess it's a sign of weakness, huh?" Dib asked, but Zim had already shut the door to their room. Sighing, Dib placed his stuffed animal down, then rested his head on the pillow. He needed to sleep since he hadn't slept too well in the past week. Though, that was because he just couldn't. He could never stop thinking about how he wished his mother were better, or how…he treated him at skool.
Most of the kids just teased him, but there was that one group that was just plain horrible to him. Dib winced slightly as he sat up. His back was killing him, not to mention that every other part of his body that had been beaten was screaming every time he moved. Slowly, so as he wouldn't aggravate his upper torso, Dib pulled off his trench coat and shirt. The air around the bruises and cuts felt nice, somewhat, but Dib wished he had some Advil right now.
Dib looked at the inside of the shirt, surprised by the small amount of blood that was on it. "I was…sure I was hurt worse this time…" he muttered, putting the shirt back on. This wasn't as bad as he had thought it was, but it was still painful. He never had taken a worse beating from Jay and the others. Well, mostly Jay…the others tended to just watch or hold him down.
Dib walked out of the room and sighed. He was going to have to talk to someone, and the only person who he could trust enough was his mother. His father was almost always too busy to talk to him, and Zim just wouldn't understand. But, Dib had to say something, and Zim was the closest person to him.
"Oh, I see you finally left our room," Zim mumbled as he continued to write in his notebook.
Dib sighed. "It's nice to actually have someone notice me walk into a room…" he thought out loud to himself.
"What was that?" Zim asked as he looked up. Dib didn't like the look he was getting.
"Don't pity me, Zim, for whatever reason," Dib ordered quietly, trying to sit down on the floor. His legs just collapsed underneath him as he did so.
"You don't look so good. In fact, you look like you've been through hell and back," Zim stated, taking a long look at how Dib was holding himself.
Dib forced himself to stay sitting up. "What about it?"
Zim sighed. "Gaz ordered me not to make you do anything you don't want to do…"
Dib raised an eyebrow. "You're actually going to listen to a human?"
"…"
Dib somehow managed to smile at Zim's silence. "I don't blame you… Gaz really knows how to make your life horrible…. I wonder if she'll do anything to Jay…"
"What did he do to you?" Zim asked, acting as if he didn't care.
Dib remained silent and looked down at the ground. Why did I say anything? he thought. Sighing, Dib forced himself not to blurt out everything. "He's just one of the many jerks I know," Dib said quietly.
"He's human, right?"
"Of course his is," Dib said, giving Zim a look. "He…treats me much, much worse than you do," Dib blurted out.
Zim looked up from his notebook again. "What do you mean, human?"
"Look, I don't want to talk about it," Dib stated, glaring at Zim.
"Then why did you even bring it up?"
"Because I'm not thinking straight. Do you have any Advil?" Dib asked, suddenly. "I have a horrible headache."
"No, I don't…"
Dib sighed again. "Great, not only am I in pain, but I don't have anything to do about it…"
"It might hurt less if you were to talk about what happened to you today," Zim suggested, finally putting down his pen.
"Why do you care so much, Zim? It's nothing I haven't dealt with before," Dib said, glaring at Zim.
"But you want to talk about it. I can tell," Zim stated, pointing the pen at Dib. "Plus, whenever happened to you had to be worse than usual, since I've never seen you cry before," Zim continued.
Dib sighed again and lay down on his back, instantly regretting the action. "Damnit," he hissed as the pain laced through his back. "It was only stress, Zim. Don't worry about it."
"Stress over what, Dib?" Zim asked.
"Everything. This arrangement, skool, Jay, my family…trying to be myself in a world where being yourself can be deadly," Dib mumbled. "Especially if you're gay," he whispered to himself.
Zim blinked. "You're…?"
Dib's eyes widened as he realized that he had said. Slowly, he forced himself up again and glared at Zim. "I don't want to talk about it."
Zim sighed. "Alright, fine, I won't pressure you into telling me what happened. But, Dib…you're going to have to trust me, sooner or later," Zim stated.
"I trust no one but my mother… and I won't even have her, soon," Dib mumbled.
"Why not?"
Dib got off the ground. "She's just not going to, Zim," he continued to mumble. "Don't worry about me, I should be fine once Dad finally transfers me to a different skool…."
"And why is that?"
"Don't worry about me, alright? Once I get away from my skool, I won't have to worry about getting killed."
"I take it you're exaggerating," Zim mumbled as he looked back down at his notebook.
Dib sighed…. If only you knew, Zim…
Yes. I am leaving it off there. I'm such a horrible, horrible person. Well…can you please read an' review? It'll make me happy. ^_^
